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Found 3 results

  1. When I was younger (late elementary to end of middle school) I did not really realize the feelings I was having for my friends were slightly different from most girls my age , I guess I just thought that I loved them a lot a lot and it was normal for me to want to kiss them on the cheek and what not. It wasn't until high school that I had my first real girl crush. It was intense and I was very attracted to her, but I still did not really understand. It wasn't until I saw a video where someone was talking about how they were bi, that I was like, "Oh hey that sounds like me." I never really thought of it that way until I saw that video. I am wondering how/when did you all realize that you were bi or bi-curious? Like was it a certain event or feelings that started trickling in?
  2. For quite some time now, I thought I was basically just on the verge of being a lesbian, with only my attraction and love for my husband being the reason i could say "bisexual". Any attraction I'd feel would inevitably be towards a woman, never another man. Husband and i would check out women together, so many would catch my eye. Then i started sleeping with "her" and a weird thing happened: other women don't really catch my eye anymore either. I can admit objective attractiveness, but it's like all other women pale compared to her, the way all other men pale compared to my husband. He and i have always had this thing where we'd alert the other of an attractive woman while out in public... I've stopped looking, and anytime he points someone out lately, my general response is *shoulder shrug* ".... eh". Last night, a close friend had a birthday party and he was giving me the "hey, look over there" eyes... and again, when i saw the objectively beautiful girl he was referring to, my response was "... eh". He burst out in laughter and said "you really do only need one of each, don't you?" It's not that i don't find other women attractive... I think it's just that when i find the person that fulfills a certain need, my brain shuts off to others who might also fulfill that need, because it's already being fulfilled. Never knew that about myself until recently.. I've just been assuming I was "mostly gay".
  3. I'm wilting and my roots are searching for the water it thirsts for. My fragrance is fading as I look at the desert around me. The oasis is nowhere to be seen. Instead, a mirage has shown itself and I look toward it as though it would come near me. I can't believe that I fell for it again. Every time you say you'd see me, You'd come up with an excuse not to. Every time you say you'd call, somehow something else gets in the way. You're tired. I'm tired. We're both tired. I'm seeing the realization of what I have to do and yet again I have to Embarrassed, I try to uproot myself from this desert prison I willingly place myself in. The soil is no longer fertile...or was it even fertile to begin with? I allowed myself to be fooled yet again. Am I an idiot? What the hell is wrong with me? Did I rub the lamp the wrong way? Did the genie trick me? It was a serpent that bit me, Which gave me these illusions because The poison that went through to my head Got me thinking you were actually Good for me. Instead, You are sucking the life out Of me and claiming it is Because of your sickness. Why do I try anymore? Why do I allow myself to believe in anything? This nihilistic view is looking more appealing. It makes more sense. Why believe in anything at all When everything has blown up in my face Over and over again No matter how much I try? I'm already dead. Bella