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Found 3 results

  1. Is it just me or does anyone else experience their increase in their libido as they age? I am going to be 37 in a couple of weeks, and I swear I am so much hornier now than when I was in my 20's ( and that is saying something). I think of being intimate much more often especial with my g/f , I masturbate more frequently and I am more likely to initiate intercourse than 5-6 years ago and when I do it is so much more satisfying. I desire being with a woman more now although I still enjoy being intimate with my hubby. In short I am much homier than I can ever remember, Am I alone? Does this seem normal? At times I wonder if this is because I was a late bloomer sexually in my teen years , or maybe because I can't have children, my body doesn't realize this and it is my body's way to get me to reproduce. Other times, I think how I feel more at peace and less stressed now, more settled in my life than ever before and that allows me to enjoy my relationships more.... I would be very interested in how others feels or felt in their mid 30-s, or if they have insights as to my uber -horny situation ( btw, I'm not complaining, I'm just curious as to why)
  2. First I'd like to let you guys that don't know about postsecret.com, know about it. It's a website where a guy takes secrets that people mail to him and posts them. Every Sunday, he puts up a whole new page of secrets he received that week. I have been checking postsecret weekly for years, and I own most of the published books. Highly recommend this site to anyone looking for something new to check out. That having been said I read a secret awhile back that really opened my eyes. It was a woman who had sent in a postcard and her secret was that her lack of sex drive for years and years, and subsequent action, had contributed to her husband developing erectile dysfunction later in his life. She regretted it. She especially regretted it when she hit her sexual prime and he could not satisfy her. This woman, this stranger, this secret, this postcard, opened my eyes. My sex life had been lacking, for as long as I could remember. My drive has never been very high and as a result I don't go out of my way to meet my needs. Eventually that led to a bunch of sex that was only fulfilling for him, and after years of it I just kind of forgot that sex was supposed to be fun. It was a chore to me. I hated it. But after reading this woman's secret I thought to myself, I don't want to do the same thing to my husband, and I'm afraid I'm doing just that. For years, like more than 10 years, our sex was "Wanna have some lovin tonight" "Sure". No foreplay, no kissing. In the beginning he tried often to pay attention to me and mine, but I was too embarrassed to let him spend much time in my area. Not because I have anything to be worried about, because I'm an incredibly insecure individual who just didn't value herself at all, or my need for orgasm, so I didn't not ask or require that my husband value it either. My husband is a good, good man. I don't blame him for not pressing the issue all these years he thought he was giving me what I wanted, but it made me feel unwanted. Because I didn't ask for what I wanted, because I never told him what I wanted, I never asked to get off, I always made him a priority in sex and because I insisted on it, year after year after year, I began to feel that it was normal. Long story short, it caught up with me. It got to the point that I wasn't even willing to have sex for him anymore. It was a chore. It took me a long time to realize what I had done, what we had let happen, to our passion. Backtrack to about 8 months ago, when we finally had an open conversation about it. I felt like some kind of freak, the things that I was saying, the things I was telling him I wanted to try, the things I suddenly wanted to ask him to do to me. But I got through it, and have learned to be more vocal about what I want. Sometimes I have to remind myself I've been having sex for him for 15 years and that it's ok to ask for something I want, it's hard to change that switch in your mind. That one that says "Someone might judge you for that behavior". But I switched it to, "I don't give a flying rats ass because this is my husband, he wants to please me." Our sex has gotten amazing! I have been brave enough to ask for things I've wanted for years, but never asked. Just Sunday I woke him up to some good booty, then reminded him to keep me on his mind all day, because I was going to want more after putting the 8 year old to bed. A year ago that man would have been lucky to get it once a month (Sad, I know). Now I have a hard time waiting until we put the boy to bed! I want to put this out there, because if I had had someone say these things to me before it might not have taken so long for me to prioritize ME in my sex life. A womans orgasms are important. It's okay to have to ask your partner for something specific. If you don't tell them, how do they know? Two weeks ago, my husband said something to me I'd never heard, and it was so hot. He had been massaging me, and touching, and pleasing me, for about 45 minutes. Things were super hot, and it was all very erotic and gentle. And suddenly I couldn't take it anymore, and I begged him to put his dick in me. I wanted to please him the way he had been me, and I was ready at that moment. With a big, huge grin on his face he whispered in my ear, "Not tonight, and maybe not tomorrow. Now that I know the ways I can please you without it, I want to see you get off more than I want anything else." This Saturday we will be celebrating our 10 year wedding Anniversary...and all I can think about is where I can drop our son so we can have sex ALL day, not just all night.
  3. Hi everyone, I'm 32 and apart from dates I've been single for 8 years now, partly due to ill health (depression, anxiety and OCD) for which I was in therapy for years as I recovered, partly because I have unstable employment (I've been on a cycle of self employment/ unemployement for several years), partly due to sexuality confusion and partly because I just never seem to meet available men I find attractive and vice versa. I've tried online dating in the past and met 11 different men over two years. I feel like I've dated a lot of men in my life, more than any of my friends, since the age of 16. I feel like I've dated most of the men that I wanted and none of them were right in the end. I even went on a date with a guy I always liked at school after he separated from his wife, but felt nothing for him on a date. I now usually just feel apathy towards men and dating after years of disappointments have worn away any hope and excitement I used to feel. I've just gradually been thinking lately, maybe I am truly, honestly just meant to be single? I seem to be at my happiest when single. Relationships always make me feel a bit crazy from the first rush of passion to later on feelings of jealousy and anxiety and stress. I've never had a healthy relationship, the men I am attracted to are not usually nice people but it never works when I date nice men I don't find attractive. I don't think I'm interested in being in a relationship with a woman either. I think I just don't like the idea of anyone needing anything from me, if that makes sense. It takes a lot to just keep myself well and I love being able to do the things that make me happy (going for walks, painting, working on my business, going to the gym, visiting galleries, eating healthy food etc) and the thought of some guy coming into my life leaving his hair all around my place, eating meat, wanting to sleep in all day and not wanting to do any of the things I enjoy makes me feel totally apathetic and depressed. I also don't want anyone pressuring me for sex. Or making me hang out with their friends and family all the time. I'm an introvert and love being alone for about 80% of the week. These are all things I've experienced in past relationships and I think the reason I'm happy single is that I don't have to deal with them anymore! I don't think I'm asexual, I do have a sex drive and usually like good looking dominant men but emotionally I can't seem to handle sex well. I get sort of addicted to it and want it all the time and then get depressed and weepy and just want to be alone. I think I have mostly just swtiched off my sex drive because it has only ever caused me emotional pain. Sex for me is usually a small amount of pleasure for months of emotional pain. Strange I know. I just wondered if anyone could relate. Have any of you chosen singledom as a life choice? How do you find people react to you? I find myself feeling a bit at odds with society now and it's hard being surrounded by couples but I partly don't understand everyone's obsession with being coupled up all the time, since I'm not usually happy in a relationship. I think I'd just like some more friends and to continue what I'm doing. The only downside I see of all this is that I think I would like to become a mother one day before it's too late, if I could support the child myself financially, emotionally etc. I think I'd be happy to become a single mum but obviously this is a huge life decision and I'd need to make sure I had a really good support network if I went down this route alone. Thanks for your thoughts!