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Found 14 results

  1. Hi ladies I have brought this up in the past but looking for new perspectives. I am not out as bi or possibly gay ... I definitely prefer women over men for many reasons and men tend to be my settle gender . I don’t know if not being out is the issue but I am sure its part . I just have found it really difficult to find a partner and know that I have a terrible gaydar .. I have no idea if a beautiful single woman is interested in another woman. Sometimes I just get so down about being attracted to women and wish I didn’t have these feelings. I wish I was just straight and didn’t care but I do . I just cannot lie to myself but it hasn’t helped in finding that person that makes me wake up every day with a smile on my face . Can I get some personal thoughts
  2. I tried the online dating thing...over and over....I lost my confidence I would find long-term potential that way. I think I found the secret!... MAKE FRIENDS WITH LESBIANS OF ANY AGE!!!! They will know single lesbians, and they might even know if they think you are a good match or can set you up on a blind date. Happened to me tonight- went to a LGBT event of older lesbians, but one said they knew a woman my age who was just coming out and was wondering if we could share contact info. Heck ya!
  3. This has been my conclusion over the past few months, regardless of gender. I have found that there are so many dishonest people online and it is difficult to sift through and find the genuine ones. It's like every time I seem to connect with someone, even if it progresses to steady dating, I find out that there is something they've lied about that is an absolute deal breaker for me (e.g. unemployed, married). It got to the point of where I was extremely guarded with anyone, and I hate being that type of person :( What say you ladies? Do you agree or disagree? Have any experiences to share?
  4. A lot of people like myself like to say that we don't have a type. Honestly, I've been pleasantly surprised by unexpected crushes and like to keep an open mind because of that. As a pretty inexperienced baby bi who is freshly getting into this dating game, mostly online dating I've noticed that although I have an open mind, there are some big Deal Breakers for me. -racist or prefers not to date certain races -smokers. No shade but I've had some really rough experiences being asthmatic, so smoking would really suck -rude or arrogant -no ambition, dreams or goals for their ljfe I feel like there might be more but those are the ones that would get a hard no from me Let's start a conversation, what are your deal breakers/turn offs?
  5. I thought this thread could be a place for single people to post their dating adventures. And I can start with my latest weekly adventure.... I have had this flirty friend who seems to be at least bicurious. This week we met up at an art opening for wine. Also, I had chatted with a girl on tinder who seemed super interested. And the evening begins. My flirty friend who last time talked about orgasms and wanted me to share her bottle of merlot... joined me for an art opening to continue our conversation. We met up at the art space. She ran into another woman she knew, who had an awesome hairstyle and sexy aura. Later, my flirty friend made the comment that she knew her from dancing... and "if she were gay" would be into the way she moved... sounds like it's on her mind, but she has inhibitions. So perhaps if we keep hanging out, we can explore further. But it relieved the awkward tinder/ sms conversation I had with this Tinder woman. So she super-liked me, and I asked her if she was free to hang out Saturday. She said she had to work in the evening but wanted to hang out earlier in the day. Since my flirty friend and I were supposed to get together Friday, and she wanted to go to a salsa party, I wasn't sure I'd be moving in the early part of the day..... When I told the Tinder woman, she said she was working at the same club as the salsa party. So awkward. If there was anything that was going to happen with flirty friend, I wasn't sure about how to work around that if I went to this club where the Tinder woman worked. But I guess after my flirty friend made it clear nothing was going to happen quickly there, it kind of made things less awkward. But I actually found out about a business party at ANOTHER club, except that it was raining. So my flirty friend did not want to bike to the other club in the rain and then get wet again going to the club with the salsa party. She preferred to go straight to the club with the salsa party where the woman from Tinder worked... and dry off before her salsa party started. So the Tinder woman wanted me to come by to see her at work, and it just happened that my other friend dragged me into the club way before the party started. We were talking pretty intensely about an issue I'm dealing with in my life. But then her (male) salsa parten came in so it looked like hey were together. I was looking around for the Tinder woman, and thought maybe I could tell which of the staff was her, but not to be sure. As soon as the guy arrived, she came to our table and got our drinks. She sent me a message on Tinder she thought she saw me. It gave me butterflies a little. I haven't dated a woman in several years. I am still talking to guys also, but why not? Go out with her, and guys and see what clicks?
  6. Granted I am new here but I kind of feel like everyone here is in some form of a committed relationship. Not to harsh anyones vibes but I'm kind of feeling like I may be the only single person here. Everyone's been super nice and welcoming. Its just hard to relate when everyone's in a completely different stage then you. I have made some friends here but I haven't met anyone who is around the same place as me, 25 and single.
  7. I kind of thought that one of the perks of being in the city was easy access to social activities. There are so many awesome things going on around me, and I seek them out, but usually I'm alone. I have work friends, college friends, childhood friends, a roommate, and family members that care about me, but... I don't feel like anybody's really that available, for fun. I don't feel afraid or awkward doing things on my own. It's summer, and there are beaches, and free movies in the park, and sunrises/sets, and art exhibits, and local concerts, and kayak rentals, and day trips, etc... A couple of weeks ago I spent my day off getting on a ferry from Boston to Salem, and spent the day walking around downtown Salem, sightseeing, shopping, visiting graveyards, and even got my cards read. Then I took a ferry back the same day. It was really scenic and fun, but at the end of the day, it almost felt like a secret. Like, I was the only one on this mini-adventure, and there was no witness that it had even happened. I didn't talk to anyone. When I saw something cool, I couldn't point it out to anyone. I just drifted around like a creepy stranger. Is this one of the main reasons why people date? So they can do things like this without feeling like that? The "lone wolf" archetype is a myth. I think I may need a pack. Doesn't anyone want to run wild with me?
  8. This one is for the single women. Do you find that you are approached a lot by hetero couples? Do you think being open about your bisexuality affects this? I personally am approached a lot by couples. I'm unsure about how I feel about it. I feel like if you're the single third it puts you in a vulnerable position in this dynamic.
  9. There seem to be a lot of threads on this forum about what's the worst thing about being single or bemoaning being single, so I thought it was time to redress the balance with some positive vibes and thoughts and actually think about the best things about being single. For me it's: 1. Choice? I can do what I want when I want, especially now the kids have grown up and I'm not afraid to do things on my own. Holidaying on my own next week just like I did last year - it's great as I meet some fantastic people on my travels. 2. No one else to consider/independence - speaks for itself. 3. Spend my own money on what I want doing what I want and no need to justify it to anyone else. Some friends in relationships seem to regularly lie about how much things cost or what they spent etc... Not good! 4. Waiting for the right person and being in a relationship with and loving yourself - I think this one speaks for itself. The more time you spend with yourself the more you realise you won't just settle. I think more people should spend time getting to know themselves before embarking on new relationships. It's healthy. 5. I'm happier than I have ever been. I am comfortable in my own skin and that's a great place to be. 6. A lot of coupled up people are jealous/envious of your freedom... Which can sometimes come from surprising sources. There's probably a lot more than this but it's what's on my mind at the mo :-) Thoughts?
  10. One of my most memorable dates when I was single was when I dated a couple. A few years ago I decided to try out being a Unicorn. The idea of being the third for a sexy couple turned me on (and still does to this day). I joined an online swinger site and met several couple who chatted me up. When I came across a very sexy looking couple who asked me out for drinks, I accepted. I was so nervous! We met at a bar downtown. I came in paid my cover and liked around the room. They were sitting at the bar. I instantly recognized them from their profile (which is always a big plus!). We exchanged our acknowledged glances and I approached them. She was gorgeous! Tall, lanky, brunette with slightly wavy hair. He has almost as tall as she and ruggedly handsome with a nicely trimmed goatee. I am about 5'3" and 5'5 in heels.. And they were both close to 5'9" to 5'10. When I approached they both got up and she gave me a hug and so did he. They looked at each other and smiled in approval then complimented me. I smiled and said thank you. We took a seat at a table ordered a couple of drinks. We laughed and flirted back and forth. They mentioned that it's very difficult to find "Unicorns" and we're pleased that I chose them. After a while the place was starting Kareoke and I'm not one for singing in public. She and I went downstairs to where the bathroom was and noticed that there was a little salsa club on the bottom floor.. We decided it looked like much more fun and went upstairs to get him. We danced a lot that night.. She and and I flirted as well as he and I. At one point we were talking and she mentioned how much of a great kisser he was. I told her that it had been a while since I had been kissed "really good". She called him over and asked him to kiss me.. It was so hot. He really was a vey good kisser. He cradled the back of my neck and leaned into me. Out lips met and immediately parted. His tongue found mine and the pressure increased slightly. I looked up for a moment to meet her eyes and she smiled at me in approval. When we finished she said, "See I told you." - at that moment I wanted the be in bed with them both. It was a wild night.. I could see people making out all over the place. Bodies writhing on the dance floor. My insides burning with desire. I think we even saw a couple "doing it" - well she was on top of the guy guesting her hips.. She was wearing a skirt.. Do you never know. "He leaned in so I could hear him when she watched me looking at them, "looks like fun." "Yes it does." I replied. We stayed also through closing time and we walked out to our cars. I walked with them to theirs. We thanked each other for a great evening and they mentioned that they would like to see me again. I hugged him and as she was settling into her seat in his truck, I leaned in and kissed her goodnight. He was very pleased.. So, I leaned in and thanked him again and kissed him too. (One of my most memorable kissing experiences thus far). I was so hot that of course I had to relieve the tension when I got back home. I did hear from them again, but we couldn't settle on a date. (They had a couple of little ones). I eventually called one night after a while and found out they weren't together anymore... Which was too bad. To this day, this is the closest I have been able to fulfill my fantasy of being a Unicorn.
  11. So I've been on night shifts again. Joy, bliss. Anyway, the nurse I worked with is the only person I work with who is aware of my bisexuality - and she only knows because I used myself as a living case study to help her out when her nephew came out as bisexual. We were talking, as women are wont to do, and she mentioned that "everybody" goes through a promiscuous phase (I know that 'everybody' doesn't), When I mentioned that I never have, she actually started encouraging me to go out and sleep around! Now, I'm not prudish, but I'm a homebody. I go out at most four times a year, usually less, to a big social event where it would be possible to meet someone. If I meet someone and it feels right I can go with it, but I'm not the kind of person to be proactive about seeking it out. Like I tell the everyone-I-know-except-my-mum-who-tell-me-I-need-a-man, I have doggies for company, social contact through work, and a vibrator for the rest. So it's really more of a curiosity thing than an actual plan to go out and "whore around" ... is being sexually independent actually all it's cracked up to be?
  12. Hi, So it's been a long time since I've posted anything like this but I just need a rant. I first came on here in 2009 (I think) when I started getting feelings for a mate I worked with. I was in a long term relationship with a guy and I thought that by talking about it, it would go away. I never hooked up with her, nor did I hook up with my second crush that hit me so hard the year later and wouldn't go away, but little did I know back then that 7 years after I'd first joined I'd have ended that female / male relationship, come out as gay, made a whole circle of awesome friends (a lot of them from here - if any of you are reading this, I love you) lived the crazy single gay life, bought a city centre apartment and then entered into a four year relationship with a woman that resulted in an engagement and very nearly a wedding. Yep, very nearly a wedding, until she decided to end it a couple of months ago. We were supposed to be getting married in two months! What's crazy is that I don't even want her back, and I don't hate her, I'm glad it ended when I did. But I just feel quite lost and sad. And I've realised why I'm sad... It took me years to build up the confidence and the circle of friends that I did so that I could move forward in my life. I thought that by getting into a long term relationship, getting engaged and planning my future was the next step for me, but now I think I was just going through the motions of it all and I don't know if I actually wanted any of it. Actually, I loved being single and even though I loved that life, was still figuring out what I wanted when I met my now ex fiance. I am stuck in this weird feeling where I am so happy to be single again and living in my flat, but also so angry because I feel like I've gone back in time to the place I was all those years ago, where I'm sat watching the L Word, trying to find drinking buddies to come to gay bars with me (my friends are responsible human beings now and I feel like I'm behaving like the twenty-odd year old version of myself!) I know you shouldn't have regrets, but I just feel so frustrated that I took a chance on my ex when really I should have carried on living the life I was loving, back when I was a young, none-responsible human being! Now, I feel like I should be growing up, or am I just being paranoid? Now, the thoughts of dating men as well as have popped back into my head, which is quite possibly ridiculous because I know I don't want that, but my head just feels a bit of a mess! Hope you ladies can help me figure out what I'm doing with my life, and rationalise my brain before I go off the rails! xx
  13. Disclaimer: I just needed a place to vent. Sorry for the rambling. I have had a weird couple of months. So I had a crush on someone and my friends gave me the bright ideal to become her friend to see if she liked me as well. That was a terrible ideal. Fast forward a 2 months later after getting to know this chick I found out she's kind of abrasive, she smokes(I'm allergic), she drinks a bit much for me( like she's practicing for spring break), and she's a touch petty. Needless to say I should have been done with her but I'm shallow so I made excuses for her behavior. One night she has a drunk confessional with me and informs me that she's been dating someone for almost a month and she's upset because they just broke up and she really loved her. In that moment I realized that to her I'm nothing but her old gay magic eight ball, here to serve her whenever she found me useful. So I'm sitting there looking stupid and having to be listing ear/ her shoulder to cry on. For the next couple of days I was bummed but I decided to still be her friend because I didn't want to be the kind of person that if you don't like my how I like you I cut you out of my life like you're useless or something. So I tried to be just her friend but she was such a shitty friend that I decided to let it go. Plus, she started seeing someone else like a week and a half later and I defiantly didn't want to stick around to be her relationship sounding board. Now, no matter what I do I can't get away from this chick. We work for the same company and live near each other so I'm stuck. We have a mutal friend so I wind up running into her that way too. I just want her to not be near me. I need my own space. My head and heart thinks she sucks but my vagina still likes her :fuckyou:. I just want her to be physically unattractive to me. I use to be able to stop finding someone attractive if I found too many issues with them but for some reason when it comes to this girl nothing is working. On to the next rant: Now I just started seeing someone else and she's cute and smart and we have a lot in common. We have no chemistry . How is it I can be attracted to a petty, rude, a little self absorbed jerk but can't seem to like a decent human being. What is wrong with me?! Why am I like this/ Has anyone else ever experienced this? I'm so annoyed with myself and disappointed in myself. I'm shallow and I deserve to die alone :resent:. (I know, dramatic) Why am I attracted to someone who likes to waste my time with fuckery? Why am I wasting this new girls time with my fuckery?
  14. I am going through this AGAIN! I have come to realize that no matter how long you have known about your attraction to women or think "oh, I will know when someone is attracted to me."; you won't! At least I don't. It's a constant damn mystery. Lol...and always frustrating. I am VERY attracted to a co-worker of mine (WHAT in the WORLD is up with me and co-workers!! UGH! This is not the first time it has happened but I am at a different company and in a different state now.) and everyday we have a back and forth of looking into each others eyes. A few times it was for at least 30+ seconds. It's a call center environment and our cubicles are diagonal from each others. I know that she is attracted to women because she calls a girl that sits on the opposite side of her cubicle her "girlfriend". Whether or not they are actually dating, I don't know.. I do know that they carpool together along with two other coworkers. So, if they are talking, I am not the kind of person to come between someone else's situation. Sometimes I think that they can't possibly be dating because I have been alone with her on a couple of occasions where she has bent over in front of me (putting her butt in my face) then made a slick comment, used her butt to bump against me, called me "boo", she knows that I have a degree in massage therapy so she asked for a lower back massage at work, told me to move my "big ol' thang" (butt) out the way so she can walk past me in our isle to which I said "It's a lot back there, I can only move but so much" and said said "Yes, there is." and Friday she was looking me in my eyes as she danced and shook her butt at her desk. She's not slick man, she knew that I wouldn't look away. *folds arms and pouts* The first co-worker this happened with is the reason I joined ShyBi a few years ago, she awakened what I have now realized that I have known about myself since I was 11. Now that it is happening again and I believe that I am reading all of the signs right, I don't want things to end the same as last time. Me and the last woman became friends (were friends for almost 2 years) and now I haven't spoken to her in 3+ years. I have tried distancing myself from the new woman but that lasted 24 hours. My computer went down at work and I ended having to sit in a desk directly next to her. She is five years younger than me, which I don't typically date younger than myself (men included) but both ladies who have made me feel this way have been younger than me. I don't get it. She has hinted toward only dating people older than herself but the other girl is five years younger than her. Also, with her I was attracted to her personality before I realized how physically attractive she is and she is VERY attractive. The personality thing could also be because our birthdays are 6 days apart and we are very similar in a lot of ways. The problem with asking directly or trying to get her phone number is that I don't want any issues at work. If she is dating the other girl, that would be something that would likely get back to that girl and then I will have to worry about being approached about it at work. I can definitely handle myself but I don't want to be put in that position. I don't have time to lose my job and above all else I am a lover not a fighter. It's becoming a little obvious at this point, I am pretty sure that I look like the heart eyes emoji every time she sees me looking at her. She should stop flashing that perfect smile then. Lol. There have been a few times where I have caught her looking at me to see if I was looking at her as well. It is very frustrating. At this point, it is borderline torture. I am THAT attracted to everything about her. I find myself always thinking about her when I am not at work. It's BAD! So, I said all of that to say, I have no clue what to do. HELP!