abbey_rd

Older Women

174 posts in this topic

Gagging - no that definitely wasn't talked about either.

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I'm glad everyone is enjoying the thread ;)

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I'm glad everyone is enjoying the thread ;)

Great thread hun... :imsohappy:

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Hey Abbey it's OK I agree

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Hey Abbey it's OK I agree

 

Thank you! You are beautiful by the way :)!

xo

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Age is a word that has little meaning when you have an open heart and mind....

 

Some have no idea how much they hurt and harm others by it's mere mention and, whilst not done on purpose, it is yet another ug life's iniquitous discriminations :(

 

It's time folk saw individuals instead of targets to place a label on

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When I was young I was always attracted to my women teachers which were at least 20 years older.. But before I meant my gf I would fine younger women in there 30's attractive I'm in my 40's..

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I'm 28. :) I don't have much of a preference as far as age goes. Really it's maturity that I'm most concerned about. I did date a woman who was 7 years younger than me before. I could totally go for someone older though so yeah. Haha

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Age is just a number, being in my 50's I would say that :wink: However my gf tells me one of the reasons she was attracted to me was because I was "age appropriate" She is 7yrs younger than me.

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Thank you! You are beautiful by the way :)!

xo

 

Thanks

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I find I'm naturally attracted to younger women, but I apparently look 10 yrs younger than I am. So I guess I'm used to being the oldest in the relationship. But, I am also attracted to some older women to and had some amazing experiences with them.

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One of my girlfriends is ten years older than me. She likes to call me her baby girl and her little gal when we get intimate. I think it turns her on that I'm younger. It makes her feel sexy I think! I like that.

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http://mobile.nytime.../www.google.be/

 

Just read this today and thought about this thread instantaneously :-).

 

I loved this quote from the article:

 

Ms. Paulson said she had never seriously dated anyone her own age. “There’s a poignancy to being with someone older,” she observed. “I think there’s a greater appreciation of time and what you have together and what’s important, and it can make the little things seem very small. It puts a kind of sharp light mixed with a sort of diffused light on something. I can’t say it any other way than there’s a poignancy to it, and a heightened sense of time and the value of time.”

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I've always been attracted to those older than myself. My current partner is 7 years older than me.

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I'm in my 30s and have always had a thing for women older, the cut off would be not older than my parents! I'd feel a bit strange with someone younger I think, but it might start to go in reverse as I age, who knows.

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That is how I feel with older women. I have not had kids of my own, and I understand how body image is an issue for almost all women! But don't be insecure. I find insecurities to be the sexiest thing in a woman. :)

.

You know, now that you say that - about finding insecurities sexy in a woman - I think I feel similarly. That is one of the sweetest, most touching, moving things I have found in women I love and am attracted to. And sometimes it's the very thing that incites my attraction to or affection for a woman. I think I feel similarly with men, too. Often, though, I've found that men put up more of a defense of independence and competence which makes it more difficult for me to feel connected to them in their vulnerability (which, in addition to feeling connected to them in their strength, is, for me, key to feeling intimacy with someone, regardless of their gender). I've perceived women putting up barriers to hide their insecurities, too, but somehow the way I've often seen women do it makes my heart melt, whereas the way I've often seen men do it makes me feel like my heart is shut out of the house (or potential house) of our love.

 

It's almost like the barrier a woman puts up is more often like a Japanese folding screen or an ivory tower - you can see her silhouette fumbling in self-conscious vulnerability behind the screen; you know she's sitting up in that ivory tower crying, longing to come down, to open up, to extend her hair or hand to someone, but she doesn't know how, she's afraid it will break her.

 

And the barrier a man puts up is more often like an impenetrable fortress wall. You know he's down there brooding in his deepest chamber, maybe even crying, or perhaps wanting to cry but not knowing how, and you wish you could touch him, touch his heart, but every time you try, he throws arrows down at you; after a while, you just want to give up. Sometimes I wish I were a gay man so that I could understand men better (by being one) while still loving them. I think then I might feel more deeply connected to them even in their pain.

 

About older women, I have numerous times been attracted to older women. At present, I am attracted to an older woman. I don't think it's uncommon at all, just tabooed somewhat societally. I think it can definitely work out to have a relationship with an age difference, regardless of the genders and ages of the people. I think that the difference in age can be an aspect of the relationship just like any other aspect of the relationship. I also think that, depending on how comfortable each person feels with the age difference, and depending on how people respond to them, this can impact the relationship - potentially with stress, but potentially also as an opportunity to grow and learn. And finally, I think that in some cases being repeatedly attracted predominantly to people older than oneself could be connected to unresolved childhood issues regarding one's childhood relationships with one's parents. Where this is the case, I think it can complicate age gap relationships and make them trickier - though not impossible - to navigate. And with enough awareness, love, caring, and committment on the part of each partner, I think that the challenges presented by this kind of situation may be possible to overcome to a greater or lesser degree.

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i'm 27. i have dated both younger and older women. they all give me different experiences.

i do realize i can't help but get a much easier connection with older women and most of them were amazed by this as well. like i'm young and we're surprised that we click and attract to one another. however, i've never gone for anyone older than my mom's age. i don't know why. it just doesn't feel right in my book ;x

 

I've had similar experiences with older women - where there was a much easier connection than with many women my age, and where this amazed many of them. This has happened both in lover situations and friendship situations.

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When I was 19 at Uni I met a woman in her early 30s and it may sound a bit strange I became her willing lover. It was intense but her sense of inner security helped ground me.

 

When I've been attracted to or lovers with a woman older than me, I have often felt that the woman's sense of inner security helped to ground me, too. I've often felt guilty about this, afraid that I'm feeling dependent on the older woman to make me more comfortable (even just more comfortable with myself and my own feelings!), and feeling that this isn't fair to them, and wondering if they feel that my presence contributes something unique to them due to my age, just as their presence contributes something unique to me due to their age. What do you all think about this?

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One of my girlfriends is ten years older than me. She likes to call me her baby girl and her little gal when we get intimate. I think it turns her on that I'm younger. It makes her feel sexy I think! I like that.

 

That is so sweet! Makes me feel like maybe an age difference could really be a mutual thing, where the older person - and not just the younger person - get something meaningful out of the relationship. Very encouraging.

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.

You know, now that you say that - about finding insecurities sexy in a woman - I think I feel similarly. That is one of the sweetest, most touching, moving things I have found in women I love and am attracted to. And sometimes it's the very thing that incites my attraction to or affection for a woman. I think I feel similarly with men, too. Often, though, I've found that men put up more of a defense of independence and competence which makes it more difficult for me to feel connected to them in their vulnerability (which, in addition to feeling connected to them in their strength, is, for me, key to feeling intimacy with someone, regardless of their gender). I've perceived women putting up barriers to hide their insecurities, too, but somehow the way I've often seen women do it makes my heart melt, whereas the way I've often seen men do it makes me feel like my heart is shut out of the house (or potential house) of our love.

 

It's almost like the barrier a woman puts up is more often like a Japanese folding screen or an ivory tower - you can see her silhouette fumbling in self-conscious vulnerability behind the screen; you know she's sitting up in that ivory tower crying, longing to come down, to open up, to extend her hair or hand to someone, but she doesn't know how, she's afraid it will break her.

 

And the barrier a man puts up is more often like an impenetrable fortress wall. You know he's down there brooding in his deepest chamber, maybe even crying, or perhaps wanting to cry but not knowing how, and you wish you could touch him, touch his heart, but every time you try, he throws arrows down at you; after a while, you just want to give up. Sometimes I wish I were a gay man so that I could understand men better (by being one) while still loving them. I think then I might feel more deeply connected to them even in their pain.

 

About older women, I have numerous times been attracted to older women. At present, I am attracted to an older woman. I don't think it's uncommon at all, just tabooed somewhat societally. I think it can definitely work out to have a relationship with an age difference, regardless of the genders and ages of the people. I think that the difference in age can be an aspect of the relationship just like any other aspect of the relationship. I also think that, depending on how comfortable each person feels with the age difference, and depending on how people respond to them, this can impact the relationship - potentially with stress, but potentially also as an opportunity to grow and learn. And finally, I think that in some cases being repeatedly attracted predominantly to people older than oneself could be connected to unresolved childhood issues regarding one's childhood relationships with one's parents. Where this is the case, I think it can complicate age gap relationships and make them trickier - though not impossible - to navigate. And with enough awareness, love, caring, and committment on the part of each partner, I think that the challenges presented by this kind of situation may be possible to overcome to a greater or lesser degree.

 

What a beautifully thought out and reasoned post on this issue.

I also find that when a "seemingly strong" woman is willing to share her insecurity with me that there is often a spark.

 

I've always been attracted to men in leadership, or ambitious men, when I still dated. Because I often find myself leading in situations and relationships. (I'm also an oldest child). Then I married my husband which is totally not worried about being the boss. He is super relaxed and although also an oldest child not a single bit insecure about himself. And I found that it grounded me because we weren't in some sort of competition about who is going to be the boss.

 

My attraction to women is usually when I am in some sort of relationship with them. My first crush was an independent spirit type but very much a peer with whom I have lots in common. My current object of desire is a slightly older woman but also a peer, though slightly further ahead on the career ladder, at work.

 

I find that when they are really smart, or accomplished in some way, and then reciprocate my respect and compliments there is usually some basis for a spark. And when they are then willing to get vulnerable with me, oh dear then I am in really big trouble.

 

So its not about older or younger for me. But about respect, sharing and openness to vulnerability.

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My FWB is 20 years older than me...and it's hottttttt I just wish it was more frequent...but she identifies as "straight"...

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I am 45 and I dont see me limiting my fantasy for women to any age, size or color. If I am attracted then thats it. It doesn't matter to me because i am looking for only a physical relationship. It it was more than something physical that then I think age would matter or eventually would.

 

Now how I have changed, sex is on my mind a lot more. I use to feel perverted just to shave myself. I didnt like the looks of it, but nowI am clean shaved all the time. I use to not think about sex much and now I do all the time. I use to rarely use a toy and never by myself and now I love toys and I dont care who watches, in fact I love for someone to watch. Of course I have only had my husband watch. I use to not want to think about what makes me orgasm but now I will tell what i want or how close I am to cumming. I will say if I want clit stimulation, penetration, faster, slower, anal or my nipples sucked hard. I now like including a vibe when I am being fucked. I love the taste of my man after he has been inside me and wish I could taste him after he was inside another woman. I like the smell of our bodies the morning after we have had sex and it turns me on. I see women now and may see her feet, her lips, her curves, and it just gets me horny. Never would have guessed that would be me from the woman I was in my twenties.

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Here is one for the younger women among you...

I am an 'older' woman in her fifties who has found herself in the midst of an extremely intense mutual attraction with a much younger woman, who is 24. She doesn't know how old I am, and I have been told many times that I don't look my age (not sure exactly what that means, but probably that I could pass for being in my 40s). If I do tell younger people how old I am, they are usually very surprised, which, of course, is always flattering. I think part of the reason I look younger is that I am quite light-hearted and laugh a lot.

I have never been attracted to younger women before, and in fact, from my early 20s forward, have usually been attracted to older women (generally 15-20 years older), or just women/men in my own age range.

However...this attraction struck me like a bolt of lightning, and it has really shocked me to the core! There is an enormous amount of sexual tension between us (like an electrical current!), and also a very powerful connection of some kind that goes beyond that, and from my very naughty perspective (and, I think, hers too), the age difference makes it even hotter. At first, I thought that it would be unwise and perhaps not right to pursue it, because of the age difference, but as time has progressed, the attraction has only gotten stronger and more intense, so I am left wondering what to do.

We are in the process of becoming friends, and have spent alot of time gazing into one another’s eyes, but have not talked about what is happening or done anything about it yet (i.e. the whole thing is unspoken, which, of course, contributes to its intensity).

Bearing all of this in mind, I must say that I am really torn about what to do, because I have been getting to know her, and while she is ever-so lovely, and very mature in some ways, I know that she has had very little experience of sex/romance (one or two boyfriends, but no experience of women), and I’m not sure it would be right to get involved with her. I don’t mind that she is inexperienced, as I enjoy being the ‘teacher’ (hmm....that sounded kinky...), and I’m sure she would benefit greatly in many ways from this, but I worry about the emotional side of things (that it would be too much of a power imbalance, etc).

I can see that, while she craves my attention, at times she struggles and finds it very difficult to deal with her emotions, and is sometimes overwhelmed by the intensity of the attraction (she can’t stop staring at me, or behaves very awkwardly or strangely, sometimes ignoring me completely, then acting as if she hasn't done that), and that at times she is very intimidated by me (if I catch her off-guard, she can’t look at me or speak to me, or can only speak to me in a whisper; or she doesn’t know how she should behave around me, so becomes extremely awkward). I am more than twice her age, and at times have found it difficult to handle the intensity of this situation myself, so can imagine how hard it must be for her, and I feel badly when I see how she suffers.

A few times, after much consideration, I have decided to pull back a bit, to try to drop the connection, but each time she has pursued me in various ways and let me know that she wants to maintain it, and that she wants more, and this has made my heart melt.

While I do know that age should not matter if two people have a strong genuine connection, and that our relationship, such as it is thus far, is very special, I still wonder if the wisest thing to do would be to let it (and her) go, so that she can find someone her own age (or maybe a bit older, if that's what she's into). But then I look back to my younger self, when I was her age, and know that I would have wanted to go for it (and, indeed, did so with a woman 20 years older than me), and I don’t want to be patronizing (or matronizing) and make the decision for her (against her wishes), which I feel would be the wrong thing to do.

So...my question to the younger women among you is:

  1. What would you want in this situation?

and

2. What can I do to help make this lovely young woman more comfortable with me?

(A couple of people have mentioned how an older woman showing vulnerability was something that they found attractive, and my question to you is: did this make you feel more at ease?)

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I'm 47 and I tend to go for women around my age I definately wudnt go any younger than 40 tho

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