abbey_rd

Older Women

171 posts in this topic

14 hours ago, Smly said:

Now that sounds like a challenge to me

...Kind of... 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, FabulousMe said:

I don't think there's a particular age that I do or don't find women attractive.

Smart, confident women of any age who are happy with themselves and life always catch my attention.

Unfortunately when my rational brain kicks in I remember I have a son in his mid twenties and two grandchildren :wacko: 

 

...and what does your rational brain say?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/9/2016 at 10:37 PM, HappyGoLucky said:

With respect older women simply have more life-skills...they tend to know where they're at with life, what they're about, what they want & what they have to offer, which imo can be so beneficial to a younger woman. I'm much more laid back these days...even with dramas going on around me at present! Maybe I'm biased, (yep! I am coming up to the big 50 afterall!!) but my advice to you younger girls would be...."forget age!....go with the flow & enjoy the ride..." If there's mileage in the experience/relationship, even better!" To all you young ladies out there.... :giverose: I'm such a bloody flirt lol!

I absolutely agree. Even though I have always been a sexual person and had a lot of fun with ex BFs in my college days /20s and my 30s, I felt more confident in my own skin, especially my body image and self-esteem, in my 40s. I am dealing with fluctuating hormones but I also feel more in tune with my sexual energy and my body. Yoga and dance also help too. 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, BenedettaC said:

...and what does your rational brain say?

My rational brain says...'she's cute but young enough to be your daughter...look away! Look away!' 

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, FabulousMe said:

My rational brain says...'she's cute but young enough to be your daughter...look away! Look away!' 

...and why does that matter?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 hours ago, BenedettaC said:

...and why does that matter?

In truth I guess it's partly my social conditioning; I'm a mum so I should feel maternal towards anyone significantly younger than me.  Partly a fear of coming across creepy, and I've always felt conscious of a power dynamic which I would be uncomfortable having in a relationship, sexual or otherwise.  

That's just me analysing my own thinking, not about what I think is right or wrong, nor a judgement on anyone who feels differently.  I've never been in a position to have those feelings challenged or changed.

I hope that somewhat explains what I meant :-)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 07/05/2017 at 10:47 AM, FabulousMe said:

In truth I guess it's partly my social conditioning; I'm a mum so I should feel maternal towards anyone significantly younger than me.  Partly a fear of coming across creepy, and I've always felt conscious of a power dynamic which I would be uncomfortable having in a relationship, sexual or otherwise.  

That's just me analysing my own thinking, not about what I think is right or wrong, nor a judgement on anyone who feels differently.  I've never been in a position to have those feelings challenged or changed.

I hope that somewhat explains what I meant :-)

Totally... I just thought I ought to ask instead of making assumptions...

In the lesbian (as opposed to the bi) world, it really isn't unusual for there to be age disparities in relationships...including among women who have children... I guess it's because up until very recently to be gay was to be an outsider, or regarded as subversive, anyway...so people didn't feel compelled to behave according to other societal conventions and became more open-minded about issues such as age differences....and this way of thinking has continued to the present day... (The same thing is true among gay men.) Also, the lesbian dating pool is significantly smaller than the hetero one, so age isn't really considered to be a barrier to sex or romance...

It really just comes down to the individuals involved, and in my experience sometimes women in their 20s can be alot more mature and sorted than those who are older... I haven't ever had a full-blown relationship with anyone that much younger than myself (up to 20 years older, but only 5 years younger), so I can't speak from personal experience, but I do have a very close friendship with a much younger woman who is 25, and just coming out, and is the sort of person who could be in a relationship with a much older woman...and, in fact, has expressed a strong attraction to older women... We learn alot from one another, sharing our perspectives and the qualities that we each have, based on our age and experience of life, and it's a very rich relationship in all sorts of ways... 

Based on my experience of being the younger woman, I know that there can be a maternal aspect to that kind of relationship (but that's also true of any relationship involving a woman), and also a power dynamic that the older woman needs to be mindful of, but it can definitely work... 

I always think that life is so short, it would be a shame to exclude someone that you have a real connection with from your life just because of her age (whether she is younger or older)... 

Edited by BenedettaC
1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BenedettaC thank you for that, it'd interesting to understand a different perspective.  I guess my views reflect my lack of knowledge/experience of the lesbian scene, and what you're saying makes sense.  If I connected with someone regardless of age, I daresay I'd have to get over my hang-ups....

 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mmhm I love older mature women that know what they're doing ;)

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 09/05/2017 at 10:40 AM, Cherished said:

Mmhm I love older mature women that know what they're doing ;)

How old are you? (Just ask'in...) ;)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, BenedettaC said:

How old are you? (Just ask'in...) ;)

24 :) still a small fry

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Cherished said:

24 :) still a small fry

Young, but old enough to know what you like...

When I was 20 I began a three-year relationship with a female professor of mine, who was 40... I had previously been attracted to and fantasized about older women, and she and I were very attracted to one another (it was very clear) and had begun to socialize out of school hours, so one day when we were alone in her office and no one else was around, I just went for it and kissed her...and things developed further from there... It was the most exciting moment of my entire life up to that point, and I still remember it very vividly...and, as I later discovered, not only was it my fantasy come true, but hers also...and I would do it all over again...and again...and again...

 

6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was 16 I had the most ridiculous crush on the owner of the company I worked for.  She was everything I thought a woman should be.  Beautiful, intelligent, and powerful.  She had to be in her late 60's.  I'm 48 now and still find myself attracted to older women.  Of course my first female lover was my best friend and we were the same age. I guess what it comes down to is I love women! All ages, all sizes, all races. Funny because when it comes to men I have a set type, but I have an appreciation for all types of women.

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Now that I'm married to someone older than me (it's not a huge gap 4 years) it was the best decision I've ever made. Older is the way to go! 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 05/09/2017 at 7:10 PM, Cherished said:

Mmhm I love older mature women that know what they're doing ;)

When I was 19 at University I had an amazing 6 month relationship with a woman in her mid 30s. It was very respectful and beautiful and I leant so much from her.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Of course for me, I have made-up  psychological reasons for why I like both older and younger women. :rolleyes: lol Can't just be a normal response, huh?

For me, I tend to lean towards older women when I am feeling unsure of myself and need guidance. Older women calm me and remind me to ground myself and not worry about things I have no control over. Older women aren't easy to fool and they know what they want out of life- something I appreciate and admire.

And when I find myself attracted to a younger woman, its usually a damsel in distress and I feel the need to guide her into tranquility and teach her things. It is a huge turn on for me. Younger women stroke my ego and remind me I am sexy, funny and still young! (I'm 31)

It sounds ridiculous on both sides but its the truth. I like all women. So give me both please!

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, cre8yourf8 said:

Of course for me, I have made-up  psychological reasons for why I like both older and younger women. :rolleyes: lol Can't just be a normal response, huh?

For me, I tend to lean towards older women when I am feeling unsure of myself and need guidance. Older women calm me and remind me to ground myself and not worry about things I have no control over. Older women aren't easy to fool and they know what they want out of life- something I appreciate and admire.

And when I find myself attracted to a younger woman, its usually a damsel in distress and I feel the need to guide her into tranquility and teach her things. It is a huge turn on for me. Younger women stroke my ego and remind me I am sexy, funny and still young! (I'm 31)

It sounds ridiculous on both sides but its the truth. I like all women. So give me both please!

You're very young!  I guess it's a matter of perspective.  I'm twice your age, and I don't like to thing of myself as old at all.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/10/2017 at 2:06 PM, CuriouslyMarriedWoman said:

You're very young!  I guess it's a matter of perspective.  I'm twice your age, and I don't like to thing of myself as old at all.

That's because you aren't old! :wink: 

Edited by cre8yourf8
2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've always been attracted to men and women older than me. I'm 46 and I have always felt like I should have been born about 20 years earlier. From the people I hang with to the music I love. I'm attracted to wisdom and beauty...real inward beauty.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This thread gives me hope, as someone who tends to feel both too young and too old simultaneously.

Personally, ive been attracted to people both younger and older than me. 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Age is just a number it's the person who you're attracted to that matters, I'd be happy to snuggle up with either younger or older .

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm just out of a three year relationship with a woman who is 17 years my senior. It wasn't at all a problem for us at first she certainly didn't look her age. The moment 50 arrived she became distant and an ass. Don't know if it's mid life crisis or what there wasn't much explanation but it was good when we were together. I don't mind the older woman they have experience so sex is good and kinda treat you like a princess on the good days. If you want a family though or anything more permanent it could become a massive problem. This is just my case not generalizing for all older women !!

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
40 minutes ago, Mizzmusic said:

I'm just out of a three year relationship with a woman who is 17 years my senior. It wasn't at all a problem for us at first she certainly didn't look her age. The moment 50 arrived she became distant and an ass. Don't know if it's mid life crisis or what there wasn't much explanation but it was good when we were together. I don't mind the older woman they have experience so sex is good and kinda treat you like a princess on the good days. If you want a family though or anything more permanent it could become a massive problem. This is just my case not generalizing for all older women !!

 

Possible menopausal issues?  Or, as you said, mid life crisis.  After the whole menopause thing is over, sex and a relationship with an older woman just might be pretty darn good.  (Speaking as a woman past her menopausal years and feeling pretty good about sex - altho experience is only with men at this point.)

Just wanted to put in a good word for older women!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/10/2017 at 10:59 AM, cre8yourf8 said:

Younger women stroke my ego and remind me I am sexy, funny and still young! (I'm 31)

Stroke stroke stroke *wink*

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/10/2017 at 6:59 PM, cre8yourf8 said:

Of course for me, I have made-up  psychological reasons for why I like both older and younger women. :rolleyes: lol Can't just be a normal response, huh?

For me, I tend to lean towards older women when I am feeling unsure of myself and need guidance. Older women calm me and remind me to ground myself and not worry about things I have no control over. Older women aren't easy to fool and they know what they want out of life- something I appreciate and admire.

And when I find myself attracted to a younger woman, its usually a damsel in distress and I feel the need to guide her into tranquility and teach her things. It is a huge turn on for me. Younger women stroke my ego and remind me I am sexy, funny and still young! (I'm 31)

It sounds ridiculous on both sides but its the truth. I like all women. So give me both please!

@cre8yourf8 - This doesn't sound ridiculous at all...and I appreciate your honesty... :) You have really addressed the complexity of this issue by describing how the attributes of a younger/older woman can appeal to you in different ways... 

Ultimately, it's the interpersonal dynamic between women of any age, and the resulting connection that's important.... If you love women, then it's important to see and appreciate them for who they really are, whether they are the same age as you, or younger or older... I keep saying this, but life is far too short to dismiss a connection with another person because of their age...and there are many different ways to relate, and to conduct a relationship...

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now