bryncat

When/how Did You Realize You Were Bi/bi-Curious?

80 posts in this topic

When I was younger (late elementary to end of middle school) I did not really realize the feelings I was having for my friends were slightly different from most girls my age , I guess I just thought that I loved them a lot a lot and it was normal for me to want to kiss them on the cheek and what not. It wasn't until high school that I had my first real girl crush. It was intense and I was very attracted to her, but I still did not really understand. It wasn't until I saw a video where someone was talking about how they were bi, that I was like, "Oh hey that sounds like me." I never really thought of it that way until I saw that video.

 

I am wondering how/when did you all realize that you were bi or bi-curious? Like was it a certain event or feelings that started trickling in?

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I always thought I was different to my friends but never thought anything of it. I knew what the word Bisexual meant but where I grew up it just didn't exist. I never understood why I felt a bit different. It wasn't until I really found Shy's that the penny dropped properly. That was only 14/15 months ago. I'm 53 now.

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I actually thought I was only interested in girls until I was about 17. I did date a couple of boys and I was in secondary school, but really it just felt more like a friendship thing. I guess it was just the thing to do I suppose.

For a couple of years I was really worried that my friends and my parents would disown me if they found out. Luckily that didn't happen

When I was 16 I moved to Loughborough to go to college, and that's when I really also started taking an interest in men.

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Since I was young girl in elementary school I always desired another woman's body - so soft and beautiful - however have never had the opportunity. My sexual dreams and desires are all about women. They always have been.

 

It's interesting - I connect more with men and flirt and joke around with them but never with women. I do have a few incredible best woman friends but would never approach them sexually. I am shy around women.

 

I am 45, single mom, and have have two teenagers and my life has been so busy that I have never put myself first this way.

 

I guess that is why I am here. It feels so good to write it down. I've hidden the feelings always.

 

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When I was 18, a friend of mine came out to me as bisexual. She had to explain it to me, because I had never heard of such a thing (I grew up in an isolated conservative family). As she described it, it hit home, so I decided to explore, and confirmed for myself that yes, I liked being with women. The more I reflected on my life growing up, the more I realized what I'd felt for certain friends was attraction. And the more I really thought about things, the more I realized I am gay, and I am out as gay now.

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Since I was young girl in elementary school I always desired another woman's body - so soft and beautiful - however have never had the opportunity. My sexual dreams and desires are all about women. They always have been.

 

It's interesting - I connect more with men and flirt and joke around with them but never with women. I do have a few incredible best woman friends but would never approach them sexually. I am shy around women.

 

I am 45, single mom, and have have two teenagers and my life has been so busy that I have never put myself first this way.

 

I guess that is why I am here. It feels so good to write it down. I've hidden the feelings always.

I'm the opposite. lol. I connect with woman more then men. I feel safer somehow with woman. Flirting is easier as well with a woman.

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I had my first crush on a female at 10, but didn't recognize that it was a crush until later. By about 13, at least, I was actively questioning my sexuality, but had never heard of bisexual, and knew I was interested in males, so I didn't really understand what was going on. When I was 16 or so, I learned about bisexuality, and immediately identified with it.

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I had my first crush on a female at 10, but didn't recognize that it was a crush until later. By about 13, at least, I was actively questioning my sexuality, but had never heard of bisexual, and knew I was interested in males, so I didn't really understand what was going on. When I was 16 or so, I learned about bisexuality, and immediately identified with it.

 

Exactly me! When I was like 7 or 8 I would always kiss my best friend on the cheek and always tell her I love her. When I was older and I learned of bisexuality I had the aha moment too. But honestly though, there were soo many signs that pointed to my attraction to women, but I would only tell people my crushed on guys and what not.

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Since I was about 14. I was always attracted to the female form and even now most of my fantasies are about women rather than men. I tend to find women more easy on the eye

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Growing up I wasn't interested in anyone, it just seemed that relationships were things that happened to somebody else. Looking back I had female crushes, but at the time I had low self esteem and just thought I was so attracted because I wanted to be like them. It wasn't until I met my ex bf at 19 that lust and desire kicked in, and I quickly realised it could go both ways.

Stace878.. me too! There's just something about the curves on a female body... *sigh*

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For me, it just happened recently. I think bc I'm crushing on someone. I never payed attention to the obvious clues in my life... Occassional erotic dreams

With women, my porn preferences and the way I've repressed certain desires. Throughout the years there would be a friend here and there that I would think about in a more than friends kinda way, but pushed it away. Heck my former (very lesbian) co-workers would joke with me all the time telling me that I am gay and don't know it yet and that I am going to be one of those later in lifers...

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I was always attracted to girls. It wasn't until high school that I realized my attraction wasn't friendly but romantic and sexual. In college I realized I was bi.

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I've only recently discovered that I'm "not completely straight" I do remember as an adolescent I had female friends that I cared for but it didn't feel like "a crush", although I did feel an unusual attachment now that I think about it. It wasn't until high school that I started to become curious and had the desire to try out kissing a girl. I never imagined myself being in an emotional or sexual relationship at the time though. As I got older my curiosity grew, my desires turned my sexual, but still only on a virtual, fantasy level, I had no desire to seek out a relationship with a female, just thought they were beautiful and sexy, and maybe it would be fun to experiment. I never followed through though, I've been in a relationship with my husband since I was 19, with the exception of a short period apart while in college. I really wanted to experiment with a woman during that time but was too shy to go looking for an opportunity. Now I'm 34, married with two kids and my desire for women is at an all time high. I've been feeling like this for the better part of a year and I'm still questioning what it means. I have also been struggling with some unrelated mental health issues, but question maybe if it is actually related. Do I have a mood disorder? Personality disorder? Could that make me "believe" I feel things that aren't actually real? I've been taking antidepressants for almost 2 years, could that screw with my emotions? Also started using a hormonal IUD for birth control just over a year ago, could that put my hormones so out of whack that my sexual identity would be compromised? Or am I simply just figuring out later in life that I'm actually bisexual? (Which I'd be ok with) so many questions

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I think when I was about 14/15 I started noticing girls more and had a major crush on Buffy, Sarah Michelle Gellar. Thought nothing of it although none of my friends prophesed any crushes, which I found odd.

 

Fast forward, bf, bf, bf and ended up sleeping with my best friend on a girls holiday. It was really a drunken thing and i didn't think i was lesbian or anything. But I really enjoyed it and was amazed at how turned on I was.

 

Fast forward again! Partner, kids, work. Recently, maybe a year or so, I've been feeling really confused and having strong sexual feelings towards women I see. The confusion has led to depression and to soul searching and realising the real me and allowing her to flower. Once I admitted it I felt better and now every woman i see i want! Seriously i'm going mad! I'm sure it will settle.

 

I have no idea how to progress or deal properly with this.

 

I am not out to anyone, so don't tell!

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On 9/13/2016 at 10:09 AM, Shende said:

I think when I was about 14/15 I started noticing girls more and had a major crush on Buffy, Sarah Michelle Gellar. Thought nothing of it although none of my friends prophesed any crushes, which I found odd.

 

Fast forward, bf, bf, bf and ended up sleeping with my best friend on a girls holiday. It was really a drunken thing and i didn't think i was lesbian or anything. But I really enjoyed it and was amazed at how turned on I was.

 

Fast forward again! Partner, kids, work. Recently, maybe a year or so, I've been feeling really confused and having strong sexual feelings towards women I see. The confusion has led to depression and to soul searching and realising the real me and allowing her to flower. Once I admitted it I felt better and now every woman i see i want! Seriously i'm going mad! I'm sure it will settle.

 

I have no idea how to progress or deal properly with this.

 

I am not out to anyone, so don't tell!

 

As I'm reading the part about having a crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar I'm laughing (at myself) lol. For me it was Michhelle Pfeiffer. I remember watching a movie called "milk money" about a group of adolescent boys who were on a quest to see a naked woman so they saved up all their money to go to the city, where you could pay girls (prostitutes) to take off their clothes. The prostitute was played by Michelle Pfeiffer and I remember thinking that was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen, hell I'd save up my milk money to get a glimpse of her too lol. I must have watched that movie 100 times lol. Jeez looking back it's easy to see the signs, how the hell did I miss that. That movie came out in 1994, I was only 12.

 

But yea I'm right there with you, totally confused with the hormones of a teenage boy lol

 

At least you got to experience being with a woman though

...editing nearly a year later because I realized the actress I mentioned wasn't Michelle Pfeiffer, it was Melanie Griffith. Don't know why I felt it mattered lol. But I will add that I think MP is extremely attractive also 

Edited by Cute&Curious
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As I'm reading the part about having a crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar I'm laughing (at myself) lol. For me it was Michhelle Pfeiffer. I remember watching a movie called "milk money" about a group of adolescent boys who were on a quest to see a naked woman so they saved up all their money to go to the city, where you could pay girls (prostitutes) to take off their clothes. The prostitute was played by Michelle Pfeiffer and I remember thinking that was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen, hell I'd save up my milk money to get a glimpse of her too lol. I must have watched that movie 100 times lol. Jeez looking back it's easy to see the signs, how the hell did I miss that. That movie came out in 1994, I was only 12.

 

But yea I'm right there with you, totally confused with the hormones of a teenage boy lol

 

At least you got to experience being with a woman though

 

Ha ha I know how you feel. Hormones of a teenage boy is exactly how i was describing it last night! Looking back, the signs were so obvious I cannot believe I didn't notice them.

 

I had sex with a girl but I wasn't with her. I'm not complaining though but I want that closeness and softness and knowing each other. I'm not in a position to pursue, and of course don't want to hurt anyone, but my God there's a difficulty in denying and lying to yourself that will never get easier. I'm at work now and i could just scream!

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Ha ha I know how you feel. Hormones of a teenage boy is exactly how i was describing it last night! Looking back, the signs were so obvious I cannot believe I didn't notice them.

 

I had sex with a girl but I wasn't with her. I'm not complaining though but I want that closeness and softness and knowing each other. I'm not in a position to pursue, and of course don't want to hurt anyone, but my God there's a difficulty in denying and lying to yourself that will never get easier. I'm at work now and i could just scream!

 

I'm in the exact same position, the only difference is I've had NO experiences with women. But like you I'm married and not in the position to pursue, but I just can't get it out of my head. Not sure how to keep it under wraps

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The first time I noticed a girl at my school, I was about 12 years old. She was dancing in a talent show to Alice Cooper's 'Poison'. I had a rush of emotions that I had never felt before! There were other women I met throughout my teens - teachers, work collleagues, that I had huge crushes on. I liked boys too but this was more intense. Possibly because I was born and raised in a very christian family so for me it was wrong to have those feelings and I hated myself for it.

 

In my late teens and early 20's I had several bf's and met my now husband. I still found women attractive but hadn't experienced any of the feelings that I'd had in my early teenage years. I settled into my straight, married life convinced that it was all just part of growing up.

 

About a year ago I came off the contraceptive pill for health reasons, and had a non hormonal copper coil fitted. My sex drive went through the roof! Husband was happy but I didn't really know what was going on. Thought it would settle but I think it's getting worse!

 

Then the "Yep! I'm bi" moment happened about 8 months ago. Took my daughter to her swimming lesson and the instructor was looking great, in the pool, t shirt clinging to her body, she kept pushing her wet hair off her face and that rush came back again. To top it off, she stripped down in the changing rooms while we were talking and I was trying so hard to stay cool and engage in conversation. That was the moment I questioned everything!

 

So, it could be the hormones playing havoc but I think I can safely say I've always known and certainly regret that I waited till now to accept it.

Edited by lsroses
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I always felt different around girls Thought they were beautiful fantasized about them but keep those feeling hidden from me and the world for most of my life. Did all the "right" things married a wonderful man and did what society and my family expected from me. My H I give credit to for helping me realize who I am!

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I am sure I had crushes, but I always thought it was wanting to be someone, now it's more I want to either be them or be WITH them. In middle school, a friend stayed over and was brushing my hair away from my face while we were going to sleep. I knew I felt something, something that made me tingle, but I just attributed it to my hair. In high school, I almost had a girlfriend. But fear pushed us apart. As well as a crush on the guy who would become my husband. It wasn't until college I accepted myself.

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The first time I remember being curious about girls was when I was about 11years old. Then not again till I was 19 when a girlfriend of mine was giving me a shoulder rub and it turned into a whole lot more. I have had a few experiences over the years, but mostly I have ignored my attractions because I have not wanted to make life confusing for my children. My children are almost all grown up now and at least one of them is bisexual so its not such a big secret anymore. Saying that my daughter knew by the time she was 14 that she was bi and I never judged her for it. And I have to say that over the years her girlfriends have treated her way better than her boyfriends have.

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I discovered my sexuality when I was 12 years old. I was in 7th grade and my science teacher was extremely beautiful. Every time she would talk to me my hands would get sweaty and I would get very nervous. I would stutter when I talked to her. It was embarrassing. I remember getting nervous to go to school because I did not want to make a fool of myself when I was around her. When she was gone and we had a substitute, I remember feeling bummed. It was crazy. Then I got to high school and I buried those feelings because my parents and family members would say that gay/lesbian/bisexual people were just confused. Long story short, I told my husband that I am bisexual about 2 years ago and he is the only person that knows. I have had other crushes along the way and I am glad that I am able to tell at least one person about them. It is nice that my husband knows and he does know about the crush that I had on my 7th grade science teacher lol.

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i didn't want to acknowledge that i am attracted to women until three years ago when i had this huge crush on a woman where i live.This opened the gates again haha.

 

But if i really want to be true with myself i realized it in my first encounter with a girl when i was almost 16.And after as Lizzie1967 said i did all the right things and what was expected from me.Met boys ,married a man and made a family as my parents wanted

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