Victoria1369

Has Anyone Tried Swinging?

6 posts in this topic

Hi all, very new here, and I was just wondering if any of you had tried swinging as a way to explore your bisexuality? My husband came out as bi recently, and pretty much immediately wanted to try swinging. (I had been out for a few years, but never acted on it.) I was curious and didn't take much convincing. We met two lovely couples that way, and both had experiences with the same sex. (And the opposite sex, too.) It was a lot of fun, and initially, I was really glad it had happened. But I'd be lying if I said we hadn't run into problems as a result of it. Jealousy has pretty much reared its head for both of us, and we agreed to take a break while we re-evaluated things. Our marriage seems solid, but I still feel like doing it again would be playing with fire, even though the husband would probably love to do it again. So I was just wondering if any pf you had experience with swinging, and if so, how did it impact your relationship? How did you navigate all the issues that crop up? And would you do it again? Thanks!

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Any kind of openness is gonna require a strong foundation of communication and a commitment to the process and to your relationship.

 

I've had open relationships, never been married, had a fiance with whom I was open and the not marrying bit has nothing to do with the open relationship before you join dots that aren't there!

 

I think it's about wanting too first of all - so despite your understandable/logical reservations - do you really want to swing or be open? To me swinging is very much a couple thing, with other couples. There's also the open relationship angle where you could share a partner or have separate partners.

 

I think in my experience it worked out best when we both had our freedom - to be with someone else separately and while we had boundaries etc our time with that other person was kept separate from the marriage. In terms of sexual or few physical encounters we didn't really have any issues nor did I with most of other partners, a few hurt feelings here and there but nothing that wasn't fixable with adjustments and a quick reaffirm of how much you care and understanding that everyone has lines they don't want crossed.

 

I'm not really a jealous person - I've had the opposite once or twice, am I being so easy going I seem lax and like I'm being too casual and I don't care.

 

Cos frankly whatever you get into you've got to care about it for yourself and for your relationship it's about complementing what you have and doing it for someone else isn't a reason.

 

I had an instance where we shared a partner and while I had no problem with that, they felt that this was harder and there was jealousy and in their words the competing for attention because it was more than just physical. We talked, spent time etc.

 

I think you've got to ask yourself, what your relationship is going to look like if you didn't make changes, just as much as if you do make changes. Risks are risks and jealousy can be a struggle but if you start out with plans and voice your concerns it is easier to navigate, well somewhat :P

 

Always evaluating the situation and coming back to your marriage and each other as a primary base and making time for your relationship and each other is going to ensure that you have foundations that are separate to anything else that occurs. Talk about it. Also feel free to totally question your jealousy.

Edited by Hungry
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We started swinging as a way to explore my bi side. Initially it was purely for girl on girl fun, which we had talked about for hour upon hour before, with him just being involved with me, which is what we agreed we would do. Afterwards he confessed he wished he could have been involved, which Initially I couldn't handle, but after much more talking over the months that followed it evolved that I didn't mind him being involved at all, and we have both been able to have a lot of no strings attached fun ;)

 

You do need to have a strong relationship, be honest with each other about your feelings, and talk about them. And never forget that it is nsa fun, and that you go home together.

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That is a lot to take in. Hubby and I have recently been discussing swinging and between us I think it’s going well. Our biggest issue is experienced couples expecting drama to newly swinging couples. That has been the most annoying thing ever. Anything we haven’t felt comfortable with or didn’t understand we have discussed at length. I am the type of person who doesn’t jump into things like that without being 100% comfortable. It’s my body and I need to be comfortable at all times. Anyways wish us luck lol. I’m definitely excited by the potential experience and can’t wait. He’s also ready to see me in action lol. He’s heard of my female experiences but has yet to witness it lol. 

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I don’t know how I feel about it honestly. Never even crossed my mind til my girlfriend and her husband have both mentioned it. As of now it’s just been her and I doing our thing. But the past few times we have slept together the guys have came in and been involoved. Each with their spouse as of now. But they have mention, at this point what does it matter, we are all really close anyways. Yeah I dunno. No idea how my husband feels about it as it’s only been mentioned to me. I dunno, will have to discuss it with my husband. 

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Yes, my husband and I swing a bit with some couple we've known for some time. Sometimes a new couple is part of it, but pretty restrictive who is part of it by invitation only. Not something we do really often, just now and then and it can be quite fun. 

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