Aphrodite21

What Do You Want From A Woman - Sex Or More?

105 posts in this topic

 

 

That's a good question. . . . I agree the emotional connection can be different. However, I chatted with a woman for a while who was married but it became very clear to me that she wanted to have a love affair (emphasis on love) which I found very disconcerting. I do not want to be in a situation where I would potentially have to make a choice nor would I want to feel like I was being unfaithful to my husband on an emotional level.

 

I think a lot would depend on how happy your het marriage was. If you were married to a selfish pig of a man then it would/could be quite easy to leave him for the emotional understanding and consideration of a kind and gentle woman.

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I think a lot would depend on how happy your het marriage was. If you were married to a selfish pig of a man then it would/could be quite easy to leave him for the emotional understanding and consideration of a kind and gentle woman.

 

True that! I adore my husband so I just don't have the need.

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My only experience with a woman was both an emotional friendship with a deep connection and hot sex. I need both to be satisfied.

 

I would love, as someone else so eloquently put it, a BFF + sex.

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@FlaGrl08 - What happened with that relationship? Were you married at the time?

 

BFF + sex tends to turn into romantic love. The fact that she's a woman, so would probably understand you better than your boyfriend/husband, means that it would probably be more fulfilling on both emotional and sexual levels. This often results in women leaving their male partner for their female lover.

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My only experience with a woman was both an emotional friendship with a deep connection and hot sex. I need both to be satisfied.

 

I would love, as someone else so eloquently put it, a BFF + sex.

Agreed!

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@FlaGrl08 - What happened with that relationship? Were you married at the time?

 

BFF + sex tends to turn into romantic love. The fact that she's a woman, so would probably understand you better than your boyfriend/husband, means that it would probably be more fulfilling on both emotional and sexual levels. This often results in women leaving their male partner for their female lover.

 

Yes, I was married. She is also in a primary relationship with a man.

 

My sexual relationship with her ended several months ago. We have remained friends, but there is a tension there. She has struggled, I think, with what it means to have a sexual relationship with another woman. She has struggled with the label.

 

We have gone through a period a couple

months ago where we discussed resuming our sexual relationship, but then she changed her mind. It was hurtful.

 

It's been difficult to get over her because I see her frequently and we have mutual friends. It's a work-in-progress.

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I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. It may be that the sexual relationship had turned into something more for your friend, and she is struggling with that too.

 

Not everyone can compartmentalize their feelings and relationships (I know that I am not very good at that), and if the sex is good (as you say it was), then things can become extremely complicated very quickly.

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This is such a hard hitting discussion for me. My husband and I have had a lot of conversation about what I want as a bisexual woman. I have no desire for casual sex. Been there and done that. I hate the way it makes me feel. I have had a relationship with a woman during a time that hubby and I were broke up (before we married) It was a love affair without a doubt. He is not comfortable with me having a gf because he knows that I am soft and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I love the idea of a bff+ sex, but man I know how attached I can get and I would imagine that would come with a whole mess of stuff to wade through. With all that said, I adore my husband. He is sweet, kind, and above all supportive. He asks often if I "need" to be with a woman to be happy. I know that if I ever said yes, he would find a way to be OK with it. I should mention that he is also bisexual and I feel a bit different about how he might explore this part of himself.

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Very interesting topic, with different views as one would expect.

 

I have been sexually involved with both genders, only in love with some of the males. Women for me work very well on a purely physical level. The "more" than sex could include laughs and a friendship, but if you're talking emotional attachment (not even necessarily love), never found it and not looking for it.

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I am the other way around - only ever in love with women, with enjoyment of men on a purely physical level.

 

It is completely fascinating to hear other women's viewpoints on this - all sorts of variations along the spectrum.

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I have always been an emotional person when it comes to sex.I put all my feelings into it. Now, I have only been with men so the emotional part of sex I always felt was one sided. I am sure I want to see if sex with a woman has that emotion connection that I haven't found with men.

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I have always been an emotional person when it comes to sex.I put all my feelings into it. Now, I have only been with men so the emotional part of sex I always felt was one sided. I am sure I want to see if sex with a woman has that emotion connection that I haven't found with men.

I really agree with you here. I'm also really an emotional person as well. I put emotion into everything I do. I think most men do lack the emotional part of sex. I have been with a woman and yes i think that is the difference.

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I am the other way around - only ever in love with women, with enjoyment of men on a purely physical level.

 

It is completely fascinating to hear other women's viewpoints on this - all sorts of variations along the spectrum.

 

I am the same way.

I've only been in love with a woman but I have sex with both

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I enjoy reading everyone's view on this subject. I'm not sure that sex without emotion is worth the energy. With that being said, I do think a relationship can be successful with 3 people. There will always be little bits if jealousy, insecurities...... Someone said it earlier.... That is about you and you have to work your way through it. I guess my point is that I do believe it is possible to have a "relationship" with more than 2 people. Maybe won't work for all, but with an open honest relationship, it has possibilities.

I've dated men most of my life and I've had a few great relationships, but they are all missing a little something. I have always craved something a little more, always had an attraction to other females. But I also have an attraction to men, although fewer. So in the last year I have been working my way towards something, a little more.

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I enjoy reading everyone's view on this subject. I'm not sure that sex without emotion is worth the energy. With that being said, I do think a relationship can be successful with 3 people. There will always be little bits if jealousy, insecurities...... Someone said it earlier.... That is about you and you have to work your way through it.

I've dated men most of my life and I've had a few great relationships, but they are all missing a little something. I have always craved something a little more, always had an attraction to other females. So in the last year I have been working my way towards something, a little more. I don't believe we are all built to be in monogamous relationships.

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I want both, it starts with an emotional connection for me which will lead to Friendship then of course a physical attraction. the physical is enhanced with the emotional component.

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I am curious to know what the women in this forum want from a woman in terms of their bi relationships. Are you looking for casual sexual encounters, an emotional connection too, or a full-blown love affair?

 

There are quite a few posts where people seem to think that they can control the emotional side of things once they begin to have a sexual relationship with a woman, and I'm sure many of us know that this isn't the case.

 

Sex with a woman can be an extremely intense and powerful experience (and downright explosive!), very different from sex with a man (even one you are genuinely in love with), so it isn't to be underestimated.

 

For those of you who are in more than one relationship and/or who are in a relationship with a woman who is involved with someone else, how do you handle jealousy and other emotional complications?

 

I personally find navigating the emotional landscape of two relationships at once very difficult, and have sometimes felt consumed with jealousy about my lover being with her boyfriend/husband, even though I am with someone else too (I know, it's totally hypocritical, but it's very difficult to control this sort of thing...).

 

I agree. Although I have not experience being with a woman yet I know how we run, what makes us so wonderful and emotions is one of them. I assume it can be very hard to separate the feelings and just sex.

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This is something I struggle with. And the thing is while I would like some experience with a woman, I couldn't imagine my husband being given same opportunity, it makes me ache inside. And even then, what I would want is a friend I could experiment with... but I know I'd get jealous with her too. I know I have this double standard inside and I think that's what will stop me from ever really pursuing a relationship with a woman further than flirtarion.

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I've had male partners that were only physical with no real expectations... no problem there. I've only been with one woman and all I can say is we had an emotional connection way before sex was involved; once we became physical it was a total different experience than being with a man on an emotional level. I guess it all depends on the situation.

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I'm still new to all this and figuring out what I want. But having read a lot, here and elsewhere, the only way I can see it working for me is with another married woman who is in the same situation and wants the same thing. I just don't think it would be fair to pursue a relationship with someone I couldn't commit or devote my time to.

 

There has to be an emotional connection. I crave it and it makes sex so much more enjoyable. I have a good physical relationship with my husband but the emotional connection has faded over the years and I do miss it.

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I believe I would want a relationship ship that starts slowly and builds into more ,I can't see being satisfied just as someone's sex object .

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I mostly only date women now - so my intentions with women are always relationship based. However, I am more apt to have a casual hook-up with a guy.

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I am curious to know what the women in this forum want from a woman in terms of their bi relationships. Are you looking for casual sexual encounters, an emotional connection too, or a full-blown love affair?

 

There are quite a few posts where people seem to think that they can control the emotional side of things once they begin to have a sexual relationship with a woman, and I'm sure many of us know that this isn't the case.

 

Sex with a woman can be an extremely intense and powerful experience (and downright explosive!), very different from sex with a man (even one you are genuinely in love with), so it isn't to be underestimated.

 

For those of you who are in more than one relationship and/or who are in a relationship with a woman who is involved with someone else, how do you handle jealousy and other emotional complications?

 

I personally find navigating the emotional landscape of two relationships at once very difficult, and have sometimes felt consumed with jealousy about my lover being with her boyfriend/husband, even though I am with someone else too (I know, it's totally hypocritical, but it's very difficult to control this sort of thing...).

 

I would look for and crave a devoted relationship in the fullest sense of the word. A deep emotional connection coupled with an animal attraction on both of our parts. Basically I want connection of the deepest kind.

 

Strangely though, I find myself in a completely different and unexpected situation right now. I have found myself in love with someone who is already in a deep relationship with a man. I fell in love with this woman BEFORE I knew she was with anyone else. I came forward and professed my attraction, THEN found out she was with a man, HOWEVER they happened to be looking for a third person in their relationship. It's a long and complicated situation, but I find myself being content with accepting and even enjoying this proposition.

 

I have known three of four people I respect now in poly relationships. I can now understand the feelings they have tried to explain to me. Why must we choose to get EVERYTHING we desire from just one person? Perhaps we can accept what can be offered from one relationship and find the other connections we need from other relationships?

 

I have no idea where this bumpy ride will take me, but in the past where jealousy usually consumes me, at this point at least (where the three way relationship has not actually happened yet) I can see it working. I don't know....

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To sum it up in a nutshell, what I want from a woman in a sexual relationship is a true friend, with whom I can be my complete self and express myself wholly, both as a woman and as a sexual being. I have a very supportive and loving husband, and I love him dearly, and while we are very intimately close, he and I both realise there is a need and a want in me that he alone just cannot fulfil. So I have embraced this after suppressing it all my life up until 18 or so months ago, and I am looking for someone who can be my friend, will allow me to be her friend, and who will be willing to engage in sexual discovery and intimate bonding.

 

A lot to ask, I know, and from experience I do know that a woman in my position can be seen as a selfish and maybe cowardly person, I just don't happen to agree. Single women especially seem to view me this way, and in all honesty I can see their point of view, but finding another married or committed woman to have an intimate friendship is sooo hard, unless I am willing to involve my or their husband/partner. This is just a road I am unwilling and uninterested in going down.

 

Casual encounters are just not really my thing, and I have tried them a couple of times, so I am willing to wait until such a time as I can find my female soulmate to come into my life and share my feelings and emotions and be able to express herself as I do the same. Might never happen, but at least now I am in a better place than I was two years ago, and I have this great site to come to for talking about anything I can't feel free to talk about with anyone else. :)

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