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manda52panda83

Birthdays??

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So a friend of mine's birthday is coming up and I got her a present and a card. Except I did not know that she doesn't celebrate her birthday! Ugh. Now I don't know what to do. Should I give it to her when it's not her birthday as a "non-birthday present" or just forget it altogether?! Only problem with the non-birthday thing is the card which I wrote a sappy note in. It says happy birthday all over it. What should I do? Feeling stuck.

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It depends on her and her reasons. For example, a friend of mine growing up is a Jehovah's Witness, and if I tried to celebrate her birthday, even in the tiniest way, it made her really uncomfortable, and seemed to undermine her religion. If it's a preference thing, you could still give it to her, and just say, I wanted to celebrate without making it a big deal. Happy birthday! And then leave it there. Either way, downplay big time.

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Good advice. Her reasoning is not due to religious beliefs. However, I do want to respect her choice. I could tell her what happened. "I got you something for your birthday before you told me you don't celebrate your birthday. I would like to give it to you because you're my friend and I think you will like it. Your birthday was just an excuse to give it to you. Please take this gift as a token of our friendship, birthday or not." Or something along those lines. Would this be a good idea?

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Good advice. Her reasoning is not due to religious beliefs. However, I do want to respect her choice. I could tell her what happened. "I got you something for your birthday before you told me you don't celebrate your birthday. I would like to give it to you because you're my friend and I think you will like it. Your birthday was just an excuse to give it to you. Please take this gift as a token of our friendship, birthday or not." Or something along those lines. Would this be a good idea?

 

Sounds like a good plan!

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Good advice. Her reasoning is not due to religious beliefs. However, I do want to respect her choice. I could tell her what happened. "I got you something for your birthday before you told me you don't celebrate your birthday. I would like to give it to you because you're my friend and I think you will like it. Your birthday was just an excuse to give it to you. Please take this gift as a token of our friendship, birthday or not." Or something along those lines. Would this be a good idea?

 

That is a great idea. And whether she celebrates her birthday or not... the fact that you did something so sweet and thoughtful will surely make her smile. :)

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You're on the right track. Say less though.

 

Just be like I'd gotten you a gift and written a little something in the card when someone told me you don't celebrate your birthday. There's thought in the words even if you don't keep the gift :P

 

- Coming from someone who doesn't celebrate their birthday, you don't need to feel bad.

Edited by Hungry
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You're on the right track. Say less though.

 

Just be like I'd gotten you a gift and written a little something in the card when someone told me you don't celebrate your birthday. There's thought in the words even if you don't keep the gift :P

 

- Coming from someone who doesn't celebrate their birthday, you don't need to feel bad.

I will keep it short and sweet then just like me :s I will update as soon as the time comes and I get a chance to tell her and give it to her.

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**update** well I did give her her present and she loved it!! Turns out when she said she doesn't celebrate her birthday she meant she just doesn't do anything special for it. But cards and gifts are totally acceptable! What I did was just told her I got her a present before I knew she doesn't celebrate her birthday. Kept it short and sweet. It worked really well no regrets :)

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