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naturally_lovely

Gf Is Leaving For A Month: A True Test

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So she gave me a months notice.

My Girlfriend and Lover of 8 months is leaving out of the country for the month of June.

Damn.. doesn't she know that is pride month! Oh well.

So this is my first monogamous relationship were I have actually had NO desire to see other people. Im not even excited about entertaining a fantasy about other people in my head. Though Im not really a fantasy kind of gal... more of a in the here and now.

Anyway she is leaving to see family for a month. I was wondering if it would be a good idea to have a conversation about fidelity while we are separated? I don't plan on seeing anyone romantically or sexually while she is away, as the desire simply isn't there. But could it be considered offensive if I bring up the issue to her? Or in monogamy is it usually some unspoken understanding that no one will be sexual with anyone else while apart? I know each relationship is its own.. but thoughts on common practice on this one?Thoughts? Experiences? etc.

Its quite liberating to not be worried about myself and what I will do while she is gone. Im pretty happy with this feeling!

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Did you two establish whether your relationship is monogamous or open?

Do you know her views on relationships and does she know your views?

 

There used to be an implied standard, but things change and people are more open and understanding to the idea of an open relationship. It's different for everyone though. The 'right' way is what you two agree on and are comfortable with. I think fidelity is always an important conversation. It would probably be better to try that conversation now instead of right before or during her trip.

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Echoing Gentle_dreamer1985:

Talking about it's a good idea, not just for the month but more generally; everyone has slightly different ideas about what constitutes some kind of infidelity or crossing-a-line.

You might think that kissing another person on the lips affectionately is just affection between people who are very close but there's nothing "going on", while she sees it as something only you and she should do, for instance. It's a subject we're all supposed to just magically know our partners rules over and so don't talk about, but oh the trouble that different assumed rules can lead to!

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From the sound of more recent posts this got resolved on the side of monogamy. Is that accurate?

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yes. completly resolved. We are a exclusive couple. 

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