Ev33

Being bi and in a happy marriage with a man

86 posts in this topic

I guess its down to whether you act on it or not . I decided that i just couldnt bring myself to . But ... i do have a connection with another lady, she has a beautiful family of her own and we were in the same situation . We didnt want to hurt anyone and loyalty means everything! So instead we have a friendship where we can talk about our girly sides, some and have that deepness in our friendships that only women have. So yes you can still have connections and be attracted to ladies but down to you how you deal with it . Make it ok for you !

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I am extremely in love with my husband. He knows I love both men and women. He accepts it. So today he actually told me “hey I know you and your friend have reconnected but we won’t be having any threesomes but you can do your thing if you want.” She is the only woman I have ever wanted to be with while married to my husband. I mean like I would crave her. Other women are attractive but she was like no other. It’s crazy that he said this because afterwards he fucked my brains out lol. 

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On 2/15/2018 at 0:44 PM, Maggie:) said:

I am extremely in love with my husband. He knows I love both men and women. He accepts it. So today he actually told me “hey I know you and your friend have reconnected but we won’t be having any threesomes but you can do your thing if you want.” She is the only woman I have ever wanted to be with while married to my husband. I mean like I would crave her. Other women are attractive but she was like no other. It’s crazy that he said this because afterwards he fucked my brains out lol. 

That's great that he supports you and her being together despite lacking interest in threesomes.

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Everyone is different and thinks and acts differently.We are all making our  choices depending on what we can handle and if others involved too sometimes depending on what they can handle.Sometimes we don't even have a choice because a lot are on stake. 

I am married to a man and we have a relatively happy marriage. With a lot of compromises on both sides. He doesn't know I like women and it's unlikely that I'll ever tell him. I decided,to leave him in a blissful ignorance for his sake and mine.To some might look bad. To me it is what it is and it's my choice for my reasons. Of course I am planning to act on it and then I'll deal with whatever this brings then 

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On 10/25/2017 at 11:39 PM, BellaLuna said:

You ladies with supportive husbands are so, so lucky. I didn't realize until years into my marriage that I wanted (needed, craved) to be with a woman. About a year ago, when I finally kissed a woman for the first time, I couldn't keep it in anymore. I finally just kind of blurted it all out to him, and I honestly didn't think he would think too much of it... but he completely flipped out. Long story short....he considers it cheating, doesn't think he will ever be able to "be okay" with it, is deeply hurt, and is very resentful. We have young children and want to stay married (not just for them; we've been together for ten years and truly love each other) but our marriage has been terribly strained for the past year and a half. Sometimes I think that if I just had his blessing to explore this, then my life would be perfect. Not sure what my point is, other than to say count your blessings & don't take your amazing hubbies for granted! lol

That is how I would see my hubby reacting.  And I could never not tell him I dont think as tell him too much (which I wish I didnt sometimes)  Things get any better for you?

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My husband has known I was bi for the past couple years. I recently brought up the subject again because I am really wanting to be with a woman (I never have been). He is supportive but I can tell this is hurting him. I haven't decided to act but if I ever do I would discuss it with him first. Unless it was spur of the moment and he was there (not talking about a threesome).  We are really struggling to figure out how to move forward without blowing up our entire world. We have 2 boys 7 and 9 and we've been together for almost 18 years. 

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On 6/15/2017 at 9:21 AM, Ev33 said:

I am bisexual.. I have always had an attraction to both men and women. I have never been in a relationship with a woman, other than friendship and some crushes.. which left me crushed.

 I am happily married. I met my husband 6 years ago this month. I was open to a deeper type of relationship at the time and looking to settle down. Our relationship isn't perfect, but we are pretty perfect for each other. - We work together as parents and as a couple which is very important to me. 

So, why do I feel like I still want to be with a woman sexually?  - There are times, when it's an overwhelming sensation.. I can't stop thinking about meeting someone in a similar situation and having a sort of "friends with benefits" - "girlfriend" -  I even have a difficult time describing it.

So can you have both? Can you be happy in your marriage and still be attracted to women? Is this what being truly bisexual really feels like?  A tug of war where you find yourself one day looking at a man and thinking "wow.. he is hot." And then another looking at a woman and think "she is so beautiful or sexy." - although 90% of the time I end of having more sexual fantasies when I see a woman than a man. - Perhaps it's because I haven't been sexually with a woman in so long.. 

- sometimes I just feel a bit lost. 

@Ev33 yes, yes a thousand times, yes! I identify so much with what you've shared. The tug of war is so damn real. Meeting someone with similar desires and having that "friends with benefits" girlfriend....  yes, difficult to describe but it's just perfection in my eyes.  I'm not looking to go out and just be with a woman just for the experience.  The friendship and closeness would most definitely need to exist.  I would need to care about her deeply and have that emotional connection for any physical intimacy to ever happen.  I am in a friendship now with an internet friend who is in similar situation.  We talk openly, we share our desires, our sexual likes and our frustrations with this undying desire and urge we have that is not being filled by our respective husbands.  Unfortunately distance is not kind to us and we live quite far from each other.  But I swear, if this beautiful soul was within arms length, I think I'd lose my mind if she so much as touched me.

<3

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On 6/15/2017 at 11:43 AM, CuriouslyMarriedWoman said:

Know how you feel.  Some days I think, oh well, never going to happen, get over it.  Other days, I've thought about it all day long.  Doesn't seem to be an answer.  Don't want to destroy my marriage, but deeply curious.

This is how I feel as well. I would love to experience the fantasies and wants of being with a woman, but I'm also nervous it would slowly decline my marriage - definitely not something I want. 

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It may work to love both a man and a woman, everyone is different, but I really try to avoid the deeper 'love' aspect with a woman. I have loved ones before, especially in my teens years, mostly when I thought I was fully lesbian - though I mostly 'played the field' then, but did have what I thought was a loving relationship that blew up later. Also when I was 19 and lived with an older woman for a time. She was amazing, but it got complicated (she was not long out of a divorce, had children near my age, etc.), so we finally parted (albeit reluctantly on both sides).. Over time, I've come to the conclusion I prefer men for committed, longer term/deeper relationships and women more just for the fun/sex. So I really set my boundaries with girls I'm with. If they get too emotional and say they love me, I often have to remind them of my 'policy' and if it persists, sometimes have to end the relationship before it gets out of hand (even if it does mean missing out on some great sex).. So I'd just express caution about trying to love both. It might work, but I'm not sure how often it does and whether you can maintain the juggling act. 

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@Freaky.Fiona 's "policy" wouldn't work for me.  But I'm very impressed that's she's thought this through with such clarity and has been able, over time, to craft for herself a life that works.  Lots of the rest of us would be happier, I think, if we were able to do what she's done.

Well Done Fiona!

Ame

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5 hours ago, Amethyst753 said:

@Freaky.Fiona 's "policy" wouldn't work for me.  But I'm very impressed that's she's thought this through with such clarity and has been able, over time, to craft for herself a life that works.  Lots of the rest of us would be happier, I think, if we were able to do what she's done.

Well Done Fiona!

Ame

Thanks you very much, though I have had my struggles, too- it's not like I had an epiphany one day and had it all sorted out, much time, trial and error, thought, plenty of missteps, a few tears, and loads of uncertainty. Even now, it's not always perfect, but it is manageable and workable. :)

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