Tpearl002

Hard time making new friends.

13 posts in this topic

Hi,

I'm just exploring my bisexuality I guess you can say. I haven't had much experience with other women. Honestly,  I'm having a hard time meeting other women. I'm not sure who to approach when out. I've tried dating sites but it never moves beyond messenging each other on the site. I get so nervous when I do find someone I like. I'm rambling on, but I guess I'm asking if anyone else had similar experiences when starting to date other women? I would like to know that I'm not some weird socially awkward person when it come to starting relationship/friendships.

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I'm much the same way, though I'm working on getting better.  Practice flirting with women in the world.  See how they respond.  See what works for you and what doesn't.  Learning to date a whole new gender is like being 14 again, and acquiring new dating skills.  Keep trying things out!  You'll get there!  I'm still learning, too.  It sucks, but it is what it is.

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Yeah, you definitely aren't alone in that! It is tough meeting people, in general (friend-wise or relationship wise). I don't know if you are like this but I have such a hard time telling if someone is flirting with me, like I'm so oblivious.

I don't know where you live or if it's feasible for you but maybe see if there's any LGBT groups/clubs/outings that you could join to get started? Although sometimes, people just stick around who they know... I sometimes start with a compliment and see how it goes from there.

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Thank @ aisi and BiTriMama for the nice words and advice. It's good to know I'm not alone. I will keep trying and definitely will practiced  my flirting skills. I will also look into joining groups and clubs which is something I've been thinking about not just for dating reasons but to meet new friends in general. I stick to people I know and need to put myself in situations where I can meet and be  around new people.

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Oh wow I know just what you're dealing with, Tpearloo2! I have so much difficulty just talking with women and getting them to open up. With guys it's simple. I know exactly where I stand with men. But whenever I try to get women to open up with me everything gets very stiff and unnatural. Even on dating sites I can't seem to get women to even talk with me. I know they're there for the same reasons I am, but they always come off as cold and distant. I've often wondered if it's just me, but I'm really open and friendly and I always try to put ladies at their ease. Maybe they're just as nervous as I am. I don't know. I went on just one date with a girl and it was a disaster. We just didn't click on any level, which really made me worry what I was doing wrong. I'm not very good with women so I stopped trying so hard. Maybe something will just happen spontaneously, but I'm honestly too intimidated to jump back into the fray.

 

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@Twobitgirl I too cone off as distant when people first meet me. I can be very quiet when meetung for the first time. It dies take time to open up. I guess that comes off as cold to people. Even when I try to be more talkative I still get you're so quiet comments. With men it's easier. Men tend to take the lead and make the first step. I'm going to keep trying though. Hopefully we will both meet a nice lady soon...lol. it does get fustrating when you feel like you put so much effort into meeting people.

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@Tpearl002 Thanks for the post. This gives me some perspective. I'm really outgoing sometimes and I don't always realize that not everyone is the same. Shy and quiet is just fine, and now that I'm more aware of that as a possibility I can be more sensitive and maybe reach a girl with that in mind.

Thanks again, love! :air_kiss:  

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No problem. Glad I could help a little @Twobitgirl

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I think women are pretty easy to figure out. Be a good listener, have respect, give validation and genuine compliments (no one likes false flattery) and soon enough she'll be spilling her life story like an overflowing pot of tea. A woman appreciates a 'gentleman' regardless of what genitals she'd rather play with. I'm only speaking from my own experience of course. I could be wrong lol 

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I like people but I don't jump to make friends or meet new people... I've opened up to myself and my husband so I'm almost pretty sure no one else knows! I have a few close friends and we've never really discussed my sexuality... I'm feeling like it's hard without being so open! I've only glanced at dating sites! I don't think that's my territory!

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On 8/12/2017 at 11:31 AM, Jus4me said:

I like people but I don't jump to make friends or meet new people... I've opened up to myself and my husband so I'm almost pretty sure no one else knows! I have a few close friends and we've never really discussed my sexuality... I'm feeling like it's hard without being so open! I've only glanced at dating sites! I don't think that's my territory!

I loved dating sites when I was younger. I meet quite a few people. For me, it seems like when I first started using dating sites (back before they were wildly popular) people were actually looking for relationships. Now it seems like they're all used as 'hook up'  sites so I gave up on them for now. 

I don't discuss my sexuality with anyone. Mostly because I haven't dated another woman yet so I feel like I would get a lot of 'how do you know you're bi  if you haven't seriously went out with another woman' This site helps with that but it would be nice to have a friend to talk to in person

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On 8/14/2017 at 7:34 PM, Tpearl002 said:

I loved dating sites when I was younger. I meet quite a few people. For me, it seems like when I first started using dating sites (back before they were wildly popular) people were actually looking for relationships. Now it seems like they're all used as 'hook up'  sites so I gave up on them for now. 

I don't discuss my sexuality with anyone. Mostly because I haven't dated another woman yet so I feel like I would get a lot of 'how do you know you're bi  if you haven't seriously went out with another woman' This site helps with that but it would be nice to have a friend to talk to in person

Argh if I had a dollar for every time I answered the "how do you know you're bi" question I could buy vibes for every ShyBi. To help with making friends I would recommend groups that are not explicitly geared towards dating. If you can find a social dancing group that's not super hetero that can be great. You have an excuse to put your arms around lots of lovely ladies that way and there's potential for as little or as much romance as you want there to be.

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On 10/11/2017 at 11:01 PM, ChemFem said:

Argh if I had a dollar for every time I answered the "how do you know you're bi" question I could buy vibes for every ShyBi. To help with making friends I would recommend groups that are not explicitly geared towards dating. If you can find a social dancing group that's not super hetero that can be great. You have an excuse to put your arms around lots of lovely ladies that way and there's potential for as little or as much romance as you want there to be.

Thanks! I'll look for some of these sites. I could use new friends even if it doesn't lead to something romantic. 

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