Miss_kemi

New girl here!

17 posts in this topic

Hi everyone! I have never joined any website like this so I am a bit nervous! 

 Im 27 years old  and from New England. Ive had crushes and been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember. It has only been recently that the puzzle pieces have fallen together and I've realized I am not straight and really want to experience being intimate with another woman.

Now I am trying to figure out how to express this side of me while in a 8 year monogamous relationship with a man I love and intend to marry.  He is open-minded and accepting but there is still a lot of insecurities to work through before I can take the next step. I am trying to navigate this without either of us getting hurt, but also staying true to myself and my sexuality. 

I am looking forward to getting to know the community more and hearing your stories and perspectives!

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to the site!! 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

welcome! This is a great site to find like minded women who understand :lol:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome! There are so many of us in the same boat as you. I don't have any advice since I'm new to this as well but I hope you find what you're looking for here. ☺ 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks so much everyone!! :D

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IMG_5235.JPG

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to the site!  If you haven't already, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to see the site rules and other helpful posts.

Are you two discussing you seeing women (sounds like it)?  If so, there's a great book I recommend you both read called The Ethical Slut by Dossie Eaton (don't be put off by the title!).  Keep the conversation going, keep talking about his concerns (and yours!).  The book will give you A LOT to talk about, and will help you avoid many common mistakes if you choose to go forth with this.  Frankly, I feel like everyone would benefit from reading this book and discussing it with their partner, even if they're completely monogamous!

Anyway, poke through the forums, and respond when you're ready! :) Enjoy!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome!  I only joined yesterday and was also feeling very nervous-also my first time joining any kind of site ever...I spent hours browsing last night and you'll see so many great threads-everybody being so honest about thoughts, insecurities, fantasies etc that I have already realised that I can stop feeling nervous - it's wonderful!  I hope you learn that as quick as I did-take your time and get comfortable : )

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome - this site has saved me!!!!  You are with very like minded peeps who offer perspective, support and some fun too ;)

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Shy_Kat said:

Welcome!  I only joined yesterday and was also feeling very nervous-also my first time joining any kind of site ever...I spent hours browsing last night and you'll see so many great threads-everybody being so honest about thoughts, insecurities, fantasies etc that I have already realised that I can stop feeling nervous - it's wonderful!  I hope you learn that as quick as I did-take your time and get comfortable : )

I have to agree with @Shy_Kat here, I found a lot of support just browsing through the forums. It was comforting to know I wasn't the only one out there feeling what I'm feeling. Most of the communication here is through the threads. Once you feel comfortable, respond to some to keep the conversation going. 

Welcome to Shy's and hope you have a great day :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BiTriMama Thanks for the book recommendation I will check it out!  This is so new for both of us and although he is understanding, it still hard to even bring it up because he gets insecure. Ive explained that it's nothing to do with him or his shortcomings, and I think he knows that deep down, but he is uncomfortable with the idea of me being with a woman (without him being involved.) But as you said we just need to keep the conversation going and be open!

@Shy_Kat and @Nidalaeh Thank you! Its already been really great and comforting reading some other women's posts, especially those who are also in long term relationships and have managed to find a balance. It gives me hope for the future! 

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome! This site is a lifeline! There are many women here who have been through this experience. My husband is very supportive and is ok with me finding a girlfriend but I have yet to put it to the test since we have been together, though I have had a gf in the past. I love coming here and reading about others' experiences.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks @wickedcat! If you don't mind me asking, was your husband always okay with it or did it take him a little time to come around?

I am looking only for a friends with benefits situation and my boyfriend if fine with us having a threesome, but the idea of me alone with a woman freaks him out. I want to figure out a way to make him feel more comfortable and confidant that at the end of the day he is the one I want to spend my life with. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He's always been ok with it. It's taken him a little while to understand that I'm not interested in threesomes, but he's fine with me having a gf to myself.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi  Miss_kemi I've recently come out to my partner. He's getting his head around it all but as for me seeing a woman also, not got to that discussion as yet. Agree with everything all the ladies have said and this site has been a revelation and a comfort for me. Im sure it will be for you too. Welcome and enjoy.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@wickedcat Thats awesome that he's always been accepting!  

@NatashaYork Thank you! It's so nice hearing from other women in similar situations, I don't feel so alone. Ive only talked with my bf once about seeing another woman and it didn't go too well. I am hoping to bring it up again soon, but its definitely going to take a lot of time and open honest discussions. Good luck with your partner, I hope he can come around to the idea!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You too @Miss_kemi :wink:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now