KMA

My Coming Out Story

3 posts in this topic

So it all started about a year and a half ago. She walked into my cultural diversity class and the moment I saw her, I knew I had to get to know her. My brain would not let it rest, my heart was racing, and my eyes kept looking her way. Who is this girl?! What is it about her that is so interesting? Why am I thinking of her like this? Looking back, I have always been interested in both girls and boys, but ignored what I was feeling, thinking I was only looking at girls because I was jealous of their looks. Until that wonderful day. After that, I couldn't stop thinking of Her. 

In the beginning, I would just make up excuses to come to school and hoped that I would see her. Then I had a dream. We were alone in a small room and she came behind me and hugged me close and kissed my neck. "Are you ready to tell them?" I didn't realize what she was talking about at the time but in my dream I looked her in the eyes and said "not yet". Then I woke up. I was so confused! Months went by and we became friends. I finally admitted to myself that it was Her I was attracted to. Her alone. She was my realization, my validation. I couldn't get enough. Then I had another dream. Around the same time, I was struggling with accepting myself and keeping it to myself. I was drowning in my secret. One night, I had a dream that felt so real but I knew it couldn't be true. I was alone in the house at the time, but I dreamt that she was sitting across the room and she was talking to me. She told me everything was OK and I should just be myself and not care what people thought. "I know you're scared but you need to live life the way you want  instead of hiding away and not being true to yourself. I'm here." Her voice was so soft and it made me feel at ease. I knew it was time. She walked across the room and sat on the side of my bed. Here's the weird part; I felt her touch. I felt the pressure of her body next to me and her hand on my leg. But I knew I was alone in the house. She leaned in close and kissed me like I've thought so much about. Then, I woke up wishing I could goback to sleep and keep dreaming. I knew I couldn't keep it secret any longer. A week or two later, I told one of my closest friends who I knew I could trust and she would accept me. I couldn't tell my family yet. We talked it over and that night, I messaged Her and talked to her about the dream (not every detail but that she was there reassuring me) and I told her I was bisexual and that I liked her. 

Unfortunately she said she had a girlfriend and they're pretty serious. What did I expect? At least she knew now and she didn't feel uncomfortable with it. We met a few days later and I asked her about how she handled coming out and how I felt about everything. I was nervous, a little bummed, but I was so grateful to have her there to support me even if it wasn't how I imagined (or dreamed). 

Now, we are becoming closer as friends and we talk almost every day. I still feel so much for her. I don't think that it will change anytime soon either. This week we're meeting and having coffee. I know it will be as friends but hopefully one day we will be so much more. I am enjoying our moments while I can. 

She has changed my life so much. She's turned myworld upside down and helped me become a better person. l am so much happier than I have ever been and I have gained more self-appreciation and confidence. She's made my coming out of the closet much easier than I could have hoped for. I'm not saying it hasn't been difficult but it is going a lot better than I imagined. I hope everyone is lucky enough as I was to have someone like Her walk into my life. ♡

Edited by KMA
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That's wonderful that you were able to keep being friends and that love has spurred you to come out. Congratulations!

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I met someone like that and she was my gf for a time.  Then she eneded things because even though I told a few friends about us I couldn't tell my family.  That was diffucult. But we are still very close friends and talk all the time.  I'm thankful she encourages me to be happy with myself no matter what. 

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