Artemis3

Have I always been bi?

40 posts in this topic

So, as I am going through this....metamorphosis.... I am delving in to retrospection. Here is what I have recalled: I experienced a strong emotional desire for a girl I was "besties" with when I was 13. I experimented with another girl when I was 16. Then another in my 20's. I've had erotic dreams with women including a memorable one with Selma Hyek (sp?) right after Desperado came out (because....damn!) but chalked it up to pregnancy hormones. When I sit down and really look at it as a whole, it seems that the answer is clear. Thoughts?

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I believe it's something we are, not something we squire.  I think it just takes some longer to except it than others.  I had a boyfriend and a girlfriend in first grade.lol.  I didn't act on my attraction to women until I was 18, but I always knew it was there.  

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Hi @Artemis3.  If you look at my blog entry, I described something similar.  While I have never been with a woman (physically or emotionally), I am certain I have always been bisexual .  This is something I have come to realize in the past week.

Edited by Femme Lusting
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Yes, I believe we ( bisexuals) are born bi. It just some of us longer to recognize or come to terms with our sexuality. For me, I always felt more comfortable , and attracted to other girls, when I was younger but never made the connection.  It  just took a while, even after my first to experience, for me  to realize that what I was feeling was more than n adolescent  crush or a temporary experiment.

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I started doing that, too.  Looked back on what I now recognize were crushes, some of my self-image stuff, etc.  I'm like, HOOOOOW did I not know??  LOL

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I've done the same...I was about to turn 34 when my lightbulb came on, but now that I see the light, it's easy to look back and see all the signs. Now I'm thinking WTF....how could I have missed that...it couldn't have been any clearer if it were plastered on my forehead. I was so programmed into believing that being straight was the only option, that I had blinders on to everything else. I wasn't able to see crushes for what they were. If I could have a conversation with my adolescent self, I'd say..."no you idiot, straight girls don't think about making out with other girls...you're not straight...who cares" :headbonk:

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I can look back to when I was 9 and see that I fantasized about women from the beginning. Those decades of fantasies scared the crap out of me that I was a lesbian because I had no idea that bisexuality existed. I thought it was only one or the other. 

I think about one friend from college who I thought was SO COOL and I wanted to hang out with her and be like her. Women talk about "friend crushes," so I always figured it was that. But now I look back and think that was a good old regular Crush. 

We're still friends. She might get a kick out of it if I told her.

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Ooh! I told my friend and she responded nicely. I'll post screen shots later. 

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I think I am still struggling to figure things out.  I know growing up I was always closer to girls than boys.  As I got older I only had  girls as friends and a crush on a guy.  Then I met my husband.  I have been questioning things now for about 3 or 4 years.  Every time I have a serious gf I feel closer to her emotionally than to my husband.  Then the relationship ends one way or other.  I don't have any problem being with just my husband but I do like a gf sometimes anyway.  He is supportive as long as we are both involved in the relationship.  Which is ok.  

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I guess i come into this as well. I had no idea that i might be Bi. I had no real attraction to girls when i was young but... thinking back i did have a crush on a teacher when i was about 12. I dismissed it as soon as possibly as she was a nun. She was 23, fair hair and blue eyes. Absolutely f***ing gorgeos. What a sin... f**k  me. That was it. Nothing until i was about 23. Then i had a fleeting moment where all i could think of was what would it be like to go down on my bf at the time.?? Well she was as straight as a power pole so that was stuffed. Nothing again until i meet the one and only woman i feel in love with at the ripe ol age of 31.  Looking back now i think i was always Bi. It never really clicked and i thought i was just a weirdo or sonething was wrong with me. Now i know there's nothing wrong with me at all I'm just Bisexual. 

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Interesting topic. As a bi curious woman, I cannot think of a time when I was interested in women in the past.  It has only been a couple of years since I started feeling an attraction towards women.

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3 hours ago, Beck said:

Interesting topic. As a bi curious woman, I cannot think of a time when I was interested in women in the past.  It has only been a couple of years since I started feeling an attraction towards women.

I have i think I’ve always been drawn to bodies and souls and felt particularly affectionate towards both sexes depending on who they were.

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I can't say I felt affectionate as @redstar said above about men. I can't say I felt attracted to them either since I remember myself. Mostly I wanted to be like them :P I can appreciate a human,but I can't say I'll have sex with a man other than my husband or I feel attracted . since I remember myself I always was trying to impress girls or be around them I didn't give a s.....t about boys. Husband and marriage with him is a complicated situation as I come to realize that I will not analyze here

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1 hour ago, redstar said:

I have i think I’ve always been drawn to bodies and souls and felt particularly affectionate towards both sexes depending on who they were.

I feel the same. Its about the person not the gender. I find souls more attractive than bodies but I can also appreciate a fit body male or female lol

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5 hours ago, shazza21 said:

I feel the same. Its about the person not the gender. I find souls more attractive than bodies but I can also appreciate a fit body male or female lol

Totally agree with you there!

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I had signs too when I was younger. I was taught it was wrong, so I never even considered it as an option. I had a crush on one of my friends in middle school/high school. I don’t even think I knew what those feelings truly were though. I thought about sex with her. I never once acted on or spoke of those feelings. I just pushed them aside and focused on guys. The funny thing is, my crush in high school and I were talking one night a few years ago and I told her about it. She told me she had felt the same way back then. Wow, I was expecting that at all! Who knows how life would of been for either of us had we acted on those feelings back then! I wish I would of explored when I was younger and before I got married. But it was “wrong”. 

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I knew I had bisexual leanings while i was still a virgin because, Victoria's Secret catalogs. I too was raised to think it was wrong so I convinced myself it was disgusting. Then, when i should have been in college, I randomly made friends with a girl that I didn't know was bi. She was attracted to me and offered to give me a massage and seduced me. Sounds cliche but I just fell into it and let it happen from there.  I didn't reciprocate until a later encounter so that would be my first time really experiencing all of it. After that, I was hooked. Yet for some reason, I still stayed in the closet instead of really exploring in  terms of relationships and went on to only have relationships with men. 

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I guess you just suppressed it for a long time and now things are starting to come up to the surface. You can try it out first and test the waters. Maybe your husband will accept it too. 

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@kairi you bring up an interesting point. I don't actually find myself attracted to men at all other than my husband. for instance, some of my friends will get all hot and bothered by pics of men with their shirts off and to me that's just meh. A woman with her top off though? that gets my attention. it's really a weird space to be in when you are married. 

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27 minutes ago, pinklotus said:

@kairi you bring up an interesting point. I don't actually find myself attracted to men at all other than my husband. for instance, some of my friends will get all hot and bothered by pics of men with their shirts off and to me that's just meh. A woman with her top off though? that gets my attention. it's really a weird space to be in when you are married. 

I absolutely agree. A woman with her top off is so much sexier than a chiseled man. For me it’s something about the softness of the female body that I can’t get out of my head. 

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On 07/03/2018 at 5:28 PM, MarriedBi said:

I absolutely agree. A woman with her top off is so much sexier than a chiseled man. For me it’s something about the softness of the female body that I can’t get out of my head. 

I just think in general that women’s bodies are much nicer and more interesting but some men are very handsome and appealing when dressed smart and clean shaven. I knew I was bisexual when I was engaged to be married but never thought I would need to act on it. I have to say that acting on it was’nt always a joyful experience and the world of Lesbian sex is a bit of a minefield in my experience. 

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11 minutes ago, myladylove said:

I just think in general that women’s bodies are much nicer and more interesting but some men are very handsome and appealing when dressed smart and clean shaven. I knew I was bisexual when I was engaged to be married but never thought I would need to act on it. I have to say that acting on it was’nt always a joyful experience and the world of Lesbian sex is a bit of a minefield in my experience. 

If you don't mind, I'm now curious as to what sort of experiences? I think the most awkward of mine was with a bicurious that literally couldn't handle her shame of going through with it and took it out on me in a not so nice way. 

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1 hour ago, pinklotus said:

If you don't mind, I'm now curious as to what sort of experiences? I think the most awkward of mine was with a bicurious that literally couldn't handle her shame of going through with it and took it out on me in a not so nice way. 

Lesbian sex is much more involved and varied than heterosexual sex. Different women like different things, the danger is that you fall for a woman who likes different things than you. It’s hard to deal with if you have been in the relationship for a while and then discover this. Shy’s is a good place to be to learn about these things, there are threads here about likes and dislikes and the terms used. 

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well put @myladylove!

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