JustCurious1008

Friend talks to me about sex makes me want her more.

16 posts in this topic

So my friend and I have a history of telling each other about the sex we have had with our male partners. Lately, I’ve noticed a shift in the details of what we talk aboit it being more explicit. For example, she goes in detail about her body and how she felt when having an orgasm, how many times she orgasmed, etc. and different sex toys she thinks I should use. She has once told me that she felt sex was “overrated” and she felt it wasn’t a necessity in her relationship with her male partner, yet when we taking about it, she gets very explicit and it almost feels she’s purposefully trying to turn me on, but I’m too shy to let her know that. I also have mentioned some explicit things about my sex experiences with my male partner, but I’m wondering is this a sign that she’s also into me as I am to her? Am I over thinking this whole situation? My last topic (Help! I think I’m in love with my best friend) explains our history. I’m just so confused about all of this and I’m so scared of ruining the years of friendship we’ve had. 

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I definitely tend to be more aroused/attracted towards somebody if they talk about sex a lot. I'm not sure if she's doing that to you on purpose. Since you said elsewhere that you two have had phone sex before, she would have a better sense than most of what verbal descriptions turn you on.

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On 10/17/2017 at 11:12 AM, ChemFem said:

I definitely tend to be more aroused/attracted towards somebody if they talk about sex a lot. I'm not sure if she's doing that to you on purpose. Since you said elsewhere that you two have had phone sex before, she would have a better sense than most of what verbal descriptions turn you on.

@ChemFem yeah and I’ve noticed there’s been an increase in these types of conversations. Even yesterday, she talked for half an hour again about her experience with a specific toy, recommending me to get it wanting me to tell her when I do get it. Then, after that conversation ended and she left me wanting more, she text me a few hours later saying she wants to be single (she’s currently in a relationship wth a guy) and that sex is “overrated.” I was confused because she just explicitly talked about how this toy makes her feel and how she wants to use it soon, but then talked about sex being “overrated.” She even mentioned how women in porn movies hold the toy on them and not take it off to increase an orgasm explaining that is what  she did with the toy (all very detailed) and how good it felt. 

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1 hour ago, JustCurious1008 said:

@ChemFem yeah and I’ve noticed there’s been an increase in these types of conversations. Even yesterday, she talked for half an hour again about her experience with a specific toy, recommending me to get it wanting me to tell her when I do get it. Then, after that conversation ended and she left me wanting more, she text me a few hours later saying she wants to be single (she’s currently in a relationship wth a guy) and that sex is “overrated.” I was confused because she just explicitly talked about how this toy makes her feel and how she wants to use it soon, but then talked about sex being “overrated.” She even mentioned how women in porn movies hold the toy on them and not take it off to increase an orgasm explaining that is what  she did with the toy (all very detailed) and how good it felt. 

Yeah...it sounds like what she's really saying is that straight sex is overrated, which is different. At this point it sounds like she's deliberately shifting the conversation to arouse you, but I don't know what that implies about her intentions.

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Sounds like she knows that she's getting to you.  But that doesn't mean that she is necessarily interested.  She may just like the attention and you wanting her.  Maybe she feels like straight sex is overrated, maybe she's bicurious, who knows.  You could ask her in a roundabout way what she means by sex being overrated when she keeps talking about it.

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So a quick update:

I ended up mentioning to her the time when I told her my feelings for her years ago and how she reciprocated. I also brought up how we had phone sex years ago around the same time I told her how I felt. Her short  responses were that she didn’t remember and chalked it up to her possibly being drunk. This happened at least two different  times though, I’m so confused :(  Since bringing this up to her, I can just tell the vibe is off... 

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Ah women who don't know what they want! Where would this forum be without them?

i am so sorry this is happening to you. I went thought it too. Hugs! But the whole mixed signals from someone you care about is a very common story on here. Try to pull away for a bit for your own sanity. See if she responds.

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25 minutes ago, Ona said:

Ah women who don't know what they want! Where would this forum be without them?

i am so sorry this is happening to you. I went thought it too. Hugs! But the whole mixed signals from someone you care about is a very common story on here. Try to pull away for a bit for your own sanity. See if she responds.

Yeah this sucks :( I’m taking your advice and will give space to see what happens. I’m just so shocked and confused that that was her reason, being drunk! I have to accept what I was told, but part of me feels she’s just saying that because she doesn’t want to admit to how she felt/or feels... I’m just confused and I’ll just leave it alone at this point. 

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i agree with @Ona on this one.  Pull back and don’t give her the attention if she is going to play hot and cold, it is not fair to you.  If she wants to engage in sex talk, put on your best poker face (even if dying inside) and don’t give her the satisfaction. when she is done playing games and sees u pulling away....her true intentions may shine on through.  either way a good excersize for you creating space and protecting yourself!

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Sounds like a convenient excuse if you ask me.  I agree about pulling away.  Looking forward to updates! :) 

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24 minutes ago, BiTriMama said:

Sounds like a convenient excuse if you ask me.  I agree about pulling away.  Looking forward to updates! :) 

Yeah, I’m starting to feel like it was an excuse. I felt like how is it that could I remember everything that happened at that time, which was over a span of a few days, and she remember nothing? Even when I told her back then how I felt, we talked about it and everything. I thought about it more last night to where it kept me up. :( I almost feel used because I told her how I truly felt about her back then and at that time, she supposedly had the same feelings and even had phone sex with me! But then when I bring this up years later, she says she doesn’t remember because she was probably drunk.

 It’s been so far a full day since I’ve spoken to her. After the update yesterday, I had not contacted her, but she texted me and talked about the weather, etc. (normal topics). I replied to it, which I know I shouldn’t have, but after my reply, she never responded back. That’s was around 1pm yesterday. Still haven’t heard back from her, but I noticed that on Instagram she liked 3 of my pics, one of which was a quote that I posted with the intent that she would see it. 

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Maybe she just feel very comfortable with you to tell you so many details and nothing more. You can't know unless you do something about it, not straightforward ask her of course. The way we perceive a situation and someone's actions are totally different for everyone 

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On 19/10/2017 at 3:04 PM, JustCurious1008 said:

So a quick update:

I ended up mentioning to her the time when I told her my feelings for her years ago and how she reciprocated. I also brought up how we had phone sex years ago around the same time I told her how I felt. Her short  responses were that she didn’t remember and chalked it up to her possibly being drunk. This happened at least two different  times though, I’m so confused :(  Since bringing this up to her, I can just tell the vibe is off... 

And I just read this. Looks like she is playing with you a little. It's up to you how this will evolve :)

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2 hours ago, JustCurious1008 said:

 

 It’s been so far a full day since I’ve spoken to her. After the update yesterday, I had not contacted her, but she texted me and talked about the weather, etc. (normal topics). I replied to it, which I know I shouldn’t have, but after my reply, she never responded back. That’s was around 1pm yesterday. Still haven’t heard back from her, but I noticed that on Instagram she liked 3 of my pics, one of which was a quote that I posted with the intent that she would see it. 

I'd caution against posting things on social media in the hopes that she will see it. That will just cause you to obsess over her more. To the extent you can just post what you would normally. If she likes it cool, if not that's fine too. There are plenty of people on IG who haven't lied about having phone sex with you and would like to see your pictures.

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1 hour ago, ChemFem said:

I'd caution against posting things on social media in the hopes that she will see it. That will just cause you to obsess over her more. To the extent you can just post what you would normally. If she likes it cool, if not that's fine too. There are plenty of people on IG who haven't lied about having phone sex with you and would like to see your pictures.

Yeah you’re right. I’ll take it day by day. Thank you all so much for your support. 

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