Spicysweet

Things have progressed quite a bit...

65 posts in this topic

Let's try to stay on-topic, ladies.  One of you are welcome to create a spin-off thread.

OP, I agree about being wary of women who send nudes right away.  Have you spoken to her at all yet?  Verified she's real?

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8 minutes ago, ChemFem said:

 Hahaha that's a mental image I won't forget anytime soon. Maybe there is a less phallocentric way of conveying this though? After all you were the one who said lesbian sex should be about more than imitating men. :P

Touché, dear @ChemFem ! :lol:

Women can ejaculate too...but it would be pretty damn difficult to do that prematurely... :blush2:

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3 minutes ago, BiTriMama said:

Let's try to stay on-topic, ladies.  One of you are welcome to create a spin-off thread.

Yes, Ma'am... :bottom::D

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11 minutes ago, BenedettaC said:

Yes, Ma'am... :bottom::D

Someone has to issue the spankings here, right? 

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Just now, BiTriMama said:

Someone has to issue the spankings here, right? 

Absolutely!  :)

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51 minutes ago, BenedettaC said:

If you read my comments more closely, you'll see that I'm just posing questions and approaching the issues hypothetically, not making ironclad assumptions. 

Gotcha!

I apologize for misunderstanding your context.  I tend to do that a lot. 

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Thank you @BiTriMama for moderating. It's getting hotter actually. LOL! It's good to have a bit of discourse but not to the point of getting misunderstood. @BenedettaCgenerally succeeds spicing up a thread and I always enjoy it, tbh :whistle: . If there's any lingering lesson my Philosophy class (age of 16) has ever taught me, that's got to be open to any propositions/concepts I encounter in life. That "I may be right and she is wrong, or I am wrong and she may be right."  The idea is to pause and reflect. To internalise and search deeper as part of "knowing thy self." (use of the words right and wrong here isn't used to denote morality or ethics). 

@Spicysweettake caution please. "All that glitters is not gold." If they are happen to be genuine, good for you. Keep us updated with this journey. 

 

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Thanks, all. It's on an app (Feeld) that uses FB to verify people's identities. I suppose someone could still fake that, but it seems safer than some. We'll certainly meet in a public space if we end up meeting. Thanks for the caution, though. I'm very new at this. 

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32 minutes ago, Spicysweet said:

Thanks, all. It's on an app (Feeld) that uses FB to verify people's identities. I suppose someone could still fake that, but it seems safer than some. We'll certainly meet in a public space if we end up meeting. Thanks for the caution, though. I'm very new at this. 

That's good that there's some method of verification in place. Meeting in public is definitely a good idea. It's also worth telling somebody where you are going beforehand. Sorry if that is obvious advice but hey, safety first.

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In response to OP...you sound very excited to embark on this new journey, understandably so...but if what you want is a female lover for yourself, then you shouldn’t compromise on that. Don’t feel like you have to jump on opportunities simply because they become available. If you’re weary, stay clear, but if it feels right, go for it. I agree with the other ladies though, women who immediately send nude photos raises a huge red flag for me.

It seems as though this thread has taken a turn, we can always count on @BenedettaC to spice things up lol (I enjoy this too @blueberry). Interesting topic, although I’ll refrain from commenting further as @BiTriMama has already begun issuing spankings...and I’m far too innocent to be spanked :angel:. It’d be an interesting discussion in its own thread though

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30 minutes ago, Cute&Curious said:

In response to OP...you sound very excited to embark on this new journey, understandably so...but if what you want is a female lover for yourself, then you shouldn’t compromise on that. Don’t feel like you have to jump on opportunities simply because they become available. If you’re weary, stay clear, but if it feels right, go for it. I agree with the other ladies though, women who immediately send nude photos raises a huge red flag for me.

It seems as though this thread has taken a turn, we can always count on @BenedettaC to spice things up lol (I enjoy this too @blueberry). Interesting topic, although I’ll refrain from commenting further as @BiTriMama has already begun issuing spankings...and I’m far too innocent to be spanked :angel:. It’d be an interesting discussion in its own thread though

This is a good point. The question of how many people will be involved in the relationship with your new lady seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle, despite its importance. Have you personally come around to the idea of group love @Spicysweet or is it more something you're doing to please your partner?

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13 hours ago, Cute&Curious said:

In response to OP...you sound very excited to embark on this new journey, understandably so...but if what you want is a female lover for yourself, then you shouldn’t compromise on that. Don’t feel like you have to jump on opportunities simply because they become available. If you’re weary, stay clear, but if it feels right, go for it. I agree with the other ladies though, women who immediately send nude photos raises a huge red flag for me.

It seems as though this thread has taken a turn, we can always count on @BenedettaC to spice things up lol (I enjoy this too @blueberry). Interesting topic, although I’ll refrain from commenting further as @BiTriMama has already begun issuing spankings...and I’m far too innocent to be spanked :angel:. It’d be an interesting discussion in its own thread though

 

12 hours ago, ChemFem said:

This is a good point. The question of how many people will be involved in the relationship with your new lady seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle, despite its importance. Have you personally come around to the idea of group love @Spicysweet or is it more something you're doing to please your partner?

Good points, both of you. That is something I've been admittedly ambivalent about. I discussed that with this woman. I told her I haven't yet been with a woman and I'm not sure I want my first time to be a threesome. She is open to just being with me if that's what I want. She is definitely looking for more of a hookup than a relationship, which is not what I want ultimately, but it could be a fun pitstop on the way. 

Edited by Spicysweet
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15 hours ago, Ambrosia said:

I apologize for misunderstanding your context.  I tend to do that a lot. 

No problem! :)

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17 hours ago, blueberry said:

 @BenedettaCgenerally succeeds spicing up a thread and I always enjoy it, tbh :whistle: . 

At the risk of earning myself a Mod spanking by going off-topic again, I just want to note that my comments weren't actually intended to 'spice up' the thread, but to raise questions about serious issues concerning women and bisexuality... I'm glad that @blueberry and others enjoyed the resulting spiciness, but I thought I ought to clarify where I was coming from.

 

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20 hours ago, ChemFem said:

Yeah that does seem a little odd. @Spicysweet Did you ask for it or did she send it unbidden? If it made you uncomfortable then tell her. There's nothing wrong with establishing boundaries. But if you liked it and it turned you on also tell her that! Positive feedback between (potential) lovers is as important as saying what you don't like.

I didn't ask for it, but it definitely turned me on. She's definitely pretty single-minded, but I keep thinking maybe that's ok. If she just wants to get it on and move on, less drama for us... But I do feel a bit like she's a tease and definitely pretty shallow. Not so much my thing. 

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I do really like where things are going with the couple, on the other hand. Much more slowly, with an emphasis on getting to know each other. Much more common interest outside of sex. Much more respectful and interested in intelligence and kindness. We're about the same age and both have kids. 

We've ended up in this weird place where we have options which are on opposite ends of the spectrum: one that's fun, fast paced, no-strings-attached, and all surface-level. The other that's more of an investment of time and emotions, but has the potential to be a deep and loving experience.

Hmmm. Is it completely selfish to want to indulge both? :blush:

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54 minutes ago, Spicysweet said:

I do really like where things are going with the couple, on the other hand. Much more slowly, with an emphasis on getting to know each other. Much more common interest outside of sex. Much more respectful and interested in intelligence and kindness. We're about the same age and both have kids. 

We've ended up in this weird place where we have options which are on opposite ends of the spectrum: one that's fun, fast paced, no-strings-attached, and all surface-level. The other that's more of an investment of time and emotions, but has the potential to be a deep and loving experience.

Hmmm. Is it completely selfish to want to indulge both? :blush:

Thanks for the clarification. I had thought the woman sending you nudes was the female half of the couple.

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1 hour ago, Spicysweet said:

I didn't ask for it, but it definitely turned me on. She's definitely pretty single-minded, but I keep thinking maybe that's ok. If she just wants to get it on and move on, less drama for us... But I do feel a bit like she's a tease and definitely pretty shallow. Not so much my thing. 

You might be turned on right now, but moving that fast usually just leads to an empty, disposable experience. I recall having a bunch of those when I was much younger (in my twenties) and was inevitably left feeling foolish that I had wasted my time. If you're getting the impression that she is a shallow tease, then you're probably right - trust your gut on this one. 

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1 hour ago, Spicysweet said:

I do really like where things are going with the couple, on the other hand. Much more slowly, with an emphasis on getting to know each other. Much more common interest outside of sex. Much more respectful and interested in intelligence and kindness. We're about the same age and both have kids. 

We've ended up in this weird place where we have options which are on opposite ends of the spectrum: one that's fun, fast paced, no-strings-attached, and all surface-level. The other that's more of an investment of time and emotions, but has the potential to be a deep and loving experience.

Hmmm. Is it completely selfish to want to indulge both? :blush:

It tends to be the case that it's one or the other... I'm sure you know which one is more worthwhile... :)

I didn't sleep with my present partner (of 13 years) for over a month after I first met her, which is something I hadn't ever done before (in my experience, when there's a connection, experienced bisexual women and lesbians who are single tend to go to bed with one another very quickly...and then move in together the following week...ha, ha, ha...)... It was difficult and took a bit of willpower, but was SO worth it in the end... So, if you're hoping for something deep, meaningful and long-term, try to exercise restraint and get to know that couple first. Once you do, then you can indulge in all the mad passionate sex you want...

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2 minutes ago, BenedettaC said:

It tends to be the case that it's one or the other... I'm sure you know which one is more worthwhile... :)

I didn't sleep with my present partner (of 13 years) for over a month after I first met her, which is something I hadn't ever done before (in my experience, when there's a connection, experienced bisexual women and lesbians who are single tend to go to bed with one another very quickly...and then move in together the following week...ha, ha, ha...)... It was difficult and took a bit of willpower, but was SO worth it in the end... So, if you're hoping for something deep, meaningful and long-term, try to exercise restraint and get to know that couple first. Once you do, then you can indulge in all the mad passionate sex you want...

You're absolutely right, and inknow that. Im just like a kid in a candy store right now because this is the first time in my LIFE I've seriously considered the prospect of casual sex, and the first time in 21 years I've seriously considered sex with anyone other than my husband. I never had that wild and carefree period of my life. I dated my husband for 3 years and didn't have intercourse with him until we were married. Willpower indeed. :lol:

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There's nothing wrong with that. You've got to taste your first candy anyway. You'll never know if you like that candy or not until you have it. I say if there's a chemistry then go for it (still with caution in all aspects). First impression is not always the impression that lasts in my book. I give second chance or third chance (even more?) to an individual. Maybe because I am easy-going. Maybe because I, myself, was once had a myopic attitude to dating and relationship in my 20s (due to my upbringing, conservative Asian culture and being young). Anyway, you can indulge both if you like. It's how you handle things and put it into right perspective. Just make sure that you're not putting a lot of effort into it. It should be fun. Do not expect too much. I'm saying these things because you're just starting. Along the way, you will meet the woman who'll stop the clock and make your whole world come to stop. :wub2:

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So...threesome chick is ghosting us. Dh is disappointed. I'm not too heartbroken.  

Couple chick has continued to be sweet and flirty via text, and we've set a date to meet and have a drink (this Sunday!). :wub:

I'm happy about this, even if just for a potential good friend who I can talk with about bi/poly whatever stuff. We talked about doing a double date too as soon as we can fit it into our schedules. 

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17 minutes ago, Spicysweet said:

So...threesome chick is ghosting us. Dh is disappointed. I'm not too heartbroken.  

Couple chick has continued to be sweet and flirty via text, and we've set a date to meet and have a drink (this Sunday!). :wub:

I'm happy about this, even if just for a potential good friend who I can talk with about bi/poly whatever stuff. We talked about doing a double date too as soon as we can fit it into our schedules. 

Re: threesome chick it seems like you dodged a bullet. As for the couple, sounds like things are still progressing well.

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1 hour ago, ChemFem said:

Re: threesome chick it seems like you dodged a bullet. As for the couple, sounds like things are still progressing well.

I agree with this completely. Sometimes that "unicorn" girl fantasy doesn't pan out in reality as well as something you might not have been originally into.  In the past, I've been ghosted by/realized a unicorn girl i was speaking to was a loose cannon. But where i (we) have found the most friendship, enjoyment, and camaraderie  (and in one current instance, sexual/emotional connection) was with couples. It sounds like you're headed down a good path. Keep it slow, get to know them, feel them out, and see where things take you.  You might find a great thing, whether it's platonic or more ❤ good luck!! Keep us updated!

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12 hours ago, Ambrosia said:

I agree with this completely. Sometimes that "unicorn" girl fantasy doesn't pan out in reality as well as something you might not have been originally into.  In the past, I've been ghosted by/realized a unicorn girl i was speaking to was a loose cannon. But where i (we) have found the most friendship, enjoyment, and camaraderie  (and in one current instance, sexual/emotional connection) was with couples. It sounds like you're headed down a good path. Keep it slow, get to know them, feel them out, and see where things take you.  You might find a great thing, whether it's platonic or more ❤ good luck!! Keep us updated!

This is good to hear. I really hope it works out this way. So far, it seems like we both want the same things, we have similar interests, similar values, similar lifestyles. I am amazed and excited that we found each other. We've been texting really regularly, and she is so sweet and sexy and smart. I can't wait to see her in person. I am dreaming about kissing her and playing with her hair, but telling myself we have to take it slow!! And, the aspect of our two guys makes things interesting. I hope we all get along and have a great time together, but it's hard to say!

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