TxCamilla

Helping a friend find Coping Skills

55 posts in this topic

23 minutes ago, TxCamilla said:

I know I am probably over analyzing everything. What do you mean by this quote above?

As far as the journal I have it on my phone and I carry it  with me everywhere. I work anywhere from 9 to 11.5 hours depending on the shift. What makes the job stressful is I don't get any breaks. I don't get even a lunch break. I have to eat lunch at my desk. I am constantly interrupted. So when I am crashing at work I have no escape.  I try and write when I am crashing but it's hard when you have no peace. I am constantly surrounded by someone. Most of the time its a good thing depending on the people, like my friends that comfort me. I feel no true comfort from home anymore.

That's hard to get it done then. Have you done the opposite and tried not journaling at all. I'm curious as to whether you've had feelings/reactions from not doing it? Sounds weird, but you said you've no escape at work - why not start thinking of work as escape in itself? It's just about how you think, doesn't mean the workload or stress will lessen, but you could be more thoughtful in your actions and interactions, again it's a practice. Also if it's not too personal @TxCamilla why don't you have a break? If it's  to work less days I get it, if it's to suit your employer, that's not good.

1 hour ago, Hungry said:

instead I'd recommend trying to focus on the things about yourself and your life that are good and then flip it around and look at your emotional pain and then look at the good or goals you have for change. It's basically getting comfortable with that. It's all part of you, doesn't mean it's all negative. Also doing this before you go to therapy will make it easier to talk about the things you think  are most important. As well as the areas that you might not be ready to talk about yet. 

I meant, try looking at things as a whole. It's an exercise in perspective. Most people feel hopeless and at their worse when they focus too much on certain areas or pain points even if the catalyst is different.  You can't go from having a lot of negative thoughts to having only positive ones. Nobody does. But you can pinpoint what is causing you to feel that way and balance it with well, I feel like that, but is it true?

There is good in your life and in you as a person, you've just lost it. You seem overwhelmed by your emotions - so it's taking the feelings you have and trying not let them spiral. Talk them through in your head, try to find ways to calm yourself down and if that doesn't work. Ask yourself, why do you let your feelings run away with you? The answer will be key in making changes and managing stress, it might not be pretty - but that's the difference between negative self talk and realistic expectations. 

I hope this helps? If it makes you feel better feel free to translate this into a foreign language :P

Edited by Hungry
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Ugh my friends at home don't get it!!!! 

I just need someone to listen not beat me down and make me feel like a worthless piece of crap. I'm tryinf to be honest with them and keep them in the loop with what's going on. 

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The breaks are because of where I work there is no relief..no one to give me a break. 

@Hungry I will try and do as you suggested. 

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Does your employer know any of what you've been going through?

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No my employer knows nothing. They know I have weekly Drs appointment for the next month thats it.

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1 hour ago, TxCamilla said:

No my employer knows nothing. They know I have weekly Drs appointment for the next month thats it.

That's the psych appointment?

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Yes. Therapy appointment. I have one the next 4 weeks. 3 Fridays and the Wednesday before thanksgiving. 

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Don't cancel any of those,  lady! I've got my eye on you. 

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I don't plan on cancelling any of these appointments. It's why I made them once a week. I have been crashing to often lately. I need someone from the outside to listen to me and help me out. .

Last night was very tough. I came very close to cutting last night. I reached out to the crisis text line and they were able to do what my friends couldn't last night.

I believe for now I am just going to back off from talking to my friends especially if they are going to cause me to crash. I need someone to listen not judge me or give me tough love.

Thank you guys very much for your support.

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I figured that I'd give you ladies an update of how my therapy appointment went. Tbh it went really well. I feel like we accomplished a lot in the 45 minutes I was there. The therapist has figured out what areas we need to work on. I know this won't be an easy road or short road. It will be difficult because I'm going to have to relearn a lot of things. 

You ladies here have been amazing and I am thankful for your support.

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I'm so glad! Awesome therapists rock. I love mine.

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She really is good. She specializes in lgbt cases. Just her non judgmental personality has made it easier to talk to. I'm glad I'm going. This is the first therapist that I feel like can actually help me. Not stick a bandaid on my problems. I now have a name to go with my feelings, how I react and why I do certain things. It will require relearning myself and to keep from any more destructive behaviours. She said she is going to work with me in learning different techniques to replace my cutting urges.

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1 hour ago, TxCamilla said:

She really is good. She specializes in lgbt cases. Just her non judgmental personality has made it easier to talk to. I'm glad I'm going. This is the first therapist that I feel like can actually help me. Not stick a bandaid on my problems. I now have a name to go with my feelings, how I react and why I do certain things. It will require relearning myself and to keep from any more destructive behaviours. She said she is going to work with me in learning different techniques to replace my cutting urges.

Good therapists are so valuable. Glad to hear you've found a keeper.

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Today was a great day. Loving the new haircut. Had a message after the haircut and then went and roller skating for 2 hours. All in all a great day. So 3 days crash free. Yeah!!

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That sounds like an awesome day! I'm super jealous.

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Lol. New skates tomorrow. I'm a whole new woman. 

I'm glad that the last few days have been good. Knowing what I have helps and not misdiagnosed.

Thanks ladies for all your support!

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I bought those fancy Cardiff grown-up skates you put over your shoes like when we were little.  I'm still getting used to them. 

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Today's session was tough but I was able to get some underlying feelings out in the open. I've felt emotionally drained all day. I've always been up and down all day. I know we have a lot to deal with so I'm taking it one session at a time. 

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Therapy days are usually hard,  even if the session was good.  All that emotional flotsam and jetsam. 

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It has been a few weeks and I wanted to give everyone an update. 

I am two months into therapy and so for it's been ok. I believe she is listening to me and we are making progress. The days are still up and down, but I am making it through each day. Last week my therapist and I were able to make some plans and goals. 

I found a good support group on Facebook and even made a few friends on there. It's nice knowing I'm not alone in this struggle. I have learned a few coping skills and am trying to put them in practice when I'm feeling down. The last four days have been good. So I hope to make it a week.

Thank you ladies for your support, it means a lot to me. I'll continue to update you on my progress.

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Thanks for the update.

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Just wanted to let you guys know how things are going. 

Been a rocky few weeks but I am doing ok. Therapy has been very helpful. The last two sessions I came out feeling better than when I entered her office. I have started DBT therapy and have learned some coping skills. My therapist is proud of what I have accomplished with my DBT homework. I even was able to talk and open up to my husband. He is being very supportive. 

I'm taking one day at a time and one episode at a time. 

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Glad to hear you are making progress. :)

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I'm so glad to hear this. Radical kindness to yourself! I'm glad you're talking to your husband, too.

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