willow_love

Ever met a women organically?

23 posts in this topic

I was under the impression that it is impossible to meet a woman "organically' these days...at least as a woman on the feminine side who is looking for another feminine woman. This past Halloween, I ended up meeting a woman at a bar. I went bar hopping with a group of people and she was apart of that group. She's my husband's, friend's acquaintance. It was the first time we had met and we definitely had a connection. It seemed like she just knew that I wasn't straight. The night went from suttle hand brushing, to hand holding and at then end of the night, she hugged me for just a little to long and told me to message her on instagram.

Unfortunately, things didnt work out. :( To make a long story short, she was looking for sex and I want something more meaningful. The whole situation made me really sad because I thought that I finally met someone, but I was wrong. On the flip side, it also made me feel like there is hope for me to meet someone organically instead of seeking out people online. I've found that meeting people online feels really forced and unnatural to me. I'm not saying its impossible, but I just haven't had any luck. I never "clicked" with anyone.

So, I was wondering, does anyone have any stories of times where you met a woman organically? Preferably a situation thst blossomed into something more than just a fling. Maybe at a parent teacher conference? Maybe standing in line at a grocery store? 

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Boss' daughter for me.  We were drinking after work one night and she dramatically announced that her mother would flip out if ever she found the magazine that was in her backpack.  It was a non-threatening lifestyle magazine, can't remember which one, think along the lines of Cosmo or Elle or something.  I was befuddled, and asked why.  She was taken aback, as though it weren't obvious, and pointed out that Hayden Pannetierre (sp) was on the cover.  Still not getting it, I quirked an eyebrow and she got flustered.  I ventured, "so, you like girls then?" And she turned bright red and didn't answer.

I shrugged and said, "it's okay if you are, I'm bi, myself," and went back to my beer.  Later on she would reference that night and say she had wanted to jump me then and there.  I wouldn't call it a summer fling, but she was definitely one of those people that was in my life for a reason or a season, not for a lifetime.

My takeaway lesson from the in-person experience is that it's more possible than you think, but being secure and comfortable in yourself and what you are looking for is pretty important so you can open the doors when you see them ajar.  Probably goes for dating men, too!

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yes and it has flipped the life as i knew it on its head!  Challenged everything and is a fierce force to be reckoned with.  

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Never, and I wish I would!! Not even sure where or how to start. It's pretty obvious when some women like other women, but I'm attracted to super feminine women like myself so I never know. :lol:  I've decided that I'm done with online ads (too many bad experiences) so the only other option would be to have some kind of random encounter, right? I have absolutely no idea. Are there signs? Hand signals? :lol::lol:

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4 hours ago, BellaLuna said:

Never, and I wish I would!! Not even sure where or how to start. It's pretty obvious when some women like other women, but I'm attracted to super feminine women like myself so I never know. :lol:  I've decided that I'm done with online ads (too many bad experiences) so the only other option would be to have some kind of random encounter, right? I have absolutely no idea. Are there signs? Hand signals? :lol::lol:

At the risk of being obvious, gay bars? They're less sketchy than online and you can call the bartender to your aid if things get out of hand.

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Talking about sign. I am not sure if this is true but some people reckon polish your ring finger nail different colour to other nail could be a sign. Please confirm if anyone know whether this is true. If not, let’s make it become a ‘bi’ signal. So we have a signal to look for in case this become a thing haha

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3 hours ago, Nominomi said:

Talking about sign. I am not sure if this is true but some people reckon polish your ring finger nail different colour to other nail could be a sign. Please confirm if anyone know whether this is true. If not, let’s make it become a ‘bi’ signal. So we have a signal to look for in case this become a thing haha

Not true. Maybe it was at one point, but it got trendy.

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On 11/16/2017 at 10:37 AM, willow_love said:

I was under the impression that it is impossible to meet a woman "organically' these days...at least as a woman on the feminine side who is looking for another feminine woman.

It happened to me, and this was before I even KNEW I was bi-just knew that she was the new girl and walked into work one day and SOMETHING about her...OMG. She's feminine and so am I. I wasn't sure what was going on with these new feelings I was having...and on top of that I am definitely shy. Fortunately she wasn't (at all!) and asked me out to dinner/movie the second day she worked there...and that's how it started...sigh, a wonderful life changing two years! It's over now, but it is encouraging that the organic meeting took place once at least for me. Though these random connections seem to be much more the exception than the rule :(.

I agree some sort of signal would be awesome! At least then we would know who's in the game! 

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I did twice. Both started out as strong friendships that turned into more than that. Met one at my daughters 4th birthday party of all places. I wasn’t looking for anything or even thought about a girl since high school. Over time I became extremely attracted to her and for her it was the same. I think we felt the same things around the same time. 

The other one worked at the hair salon I go to. She was the other stylist and we discovered our kids were in the same class. We started hanging out and became close as well. When number 1 up there broke me heart and I was crushed she helped me through it and one night came on to me super strong and it went from there for a little bit. 

 

It’s not impossible to meet women but it’s not always easy either. Don’t give up hope! 

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One of the people I work with. I'm a manager at a retail store and one of my cashiers hinted she was bi...and possibly interested. Things developed from there. When I was still just bi-curious too, although not anymore. It does happen!

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I was fortunate in that I met my gf online and organically, if that makes sense! We met in the fandom we both belonged to, as friends. She looks traditionally feminine and is married, so I didn't know her orientation at first. I'm not out in my community or on social media, and am also married, so she assumed I was straight. We met in real life after about a year of talking online, and felt a very strong connection, but didn't know the other was feeling the same thing (although, by this time, we each knew the other was bi).  After we returned to our homes (we live in different parts of the country) --we were talking online one day, and she said if we had met earlier in our lives, we would have most likely ended up together. I was shocked, because all of my previous crushes on women were one-sided, with most of them never knowing how I felt about them). 

We met again recently in a city between us, and the whole experience was amazing. We both lamented at what our lives could have been, because everything felt natural; no awkwardness in any way. But we are in a complicated situation, because we also both love our husbands, and it would devastate them if we were to leave (there are no children in either of our cases, by the way).

So, yes, meeting online in an organic manner is possible, I believe, but it would have to stem from something other than a dating site; maybe a community where you share a common interest. 

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Twice.  Once just sex and once something ore meaningful.  

The first time was a co-worker's daughter.  I know, I know, a little weird.  But she was in her mid twenties and I wasn't much older.  She showed up to a work function and we just clicked.  Talked, got to know each other.  At some point in the night, I realized I was flirting outrageously...and so was she!  I didn't see her for a few months, but the next time I saw her, it was the same, we ended up closing a bar and I invited her back to my place.  Still can't believe I was that bold! 

The second was a friend.  We were both new in town and met at work, started to get to know one another.  We found out we had similar music taste, so I invited her to go to a Regina Spektor concert with me (maybe a very minor giveaway)?  After the concert at a bar, she noticed me checking a woman out and shot me a questioning glance.  I said "what? That woman was gorgeous."  She didn't say anything then, but later admitted to me she was bi.  It took us a few more months to get together due to some obstacles, but that was the seed.  

The crazy thing is, once the scales fall from your eyes and you start recognizing the signs, it gets much easier to see when a woman might be interested.  I think I might have met someone at a Christmas party last Thursday--we will see!  But that not knowing is a really fun part of meeting organically.  

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On 01/12/2017 at 11:47 AM, LizzySizzles said:

One of the people I work with. I'm a manager at a retail store and one of my cashiers hinted she was bi...and possibly interested. Things developed from there. When I was still just bi-curious too, although not anymore. It does happen!

How did she hint you? I’d be interested to find out

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`She is, in general, a flirty person. But one night we were working together and she just said out of no where, "I'm bi" and walked away. A little later I walked up to her and said, "I'm sorry but did you say you were bi, and then walk away from me?". She kind of giggled and looked me up and down and said, "Yeah, I thought you might want to know.". Later, after things had developed a little more, I asked her why she had told me out of nowhere and she said I put off a vibe and she was interested.

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On 2017-12-03 at 9:53 AM, Nomad86 said:

The crazy thing is, once the scales fall from your eyes and you start recognizing the signs, it gets much easier to see when a woman might be interested.  I think I might have met someone at a Christmas party last Thursday--we will see!  But that not knowing is a really fun part of meeting organically.  

This! Some years back when I got divorced from my husband I started noticing women in a way I really hadn't before. Now it's almost too obvious for example at work, that has led to some interesting situations...:)

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Yeah, I've met a handful of exes online but mostly (and certainly all the longer term ones) have met 'organically'.  College was a good time for that! I used to play in a band, and whilst I've always been chubby and never (at all) a looker, you'd be surprised where a guitar can get you, haha! Only one girlfriend have I met on a night out, but that was at a girl bar so that's not that unusual. Well, it was slightly unusual actually as I was initially really interested in her mate who ended up being straight and I can't recall how but I ended up kissing her instead at the end of that night and when we met up for a drink after it clicked. I really don't like meeting people on a casual basis like that. I think it was just because I was 18 and she was a lot older and I was pretty damn flattered. Other than that it's been meeting through friends of friends  - girls who like girls and get onto the scene can get into very circular and kinda weirdly incestuous friend groups sometimes! I avoided the scene like the plague though, and still very much do. It's like a vipers den! 

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Just wrote a post about this . I was wondering if anyother women were having problems finding feminine females to date . I know I am . I think most assume I am straight and don’t go to bars . And I know I assume the same when I see a feminine female I am attracted to. Plus dating sites in my area do not have alot of women appearing fem . Any suggestions 

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Yes.  While the situation turned into a $hit$how, I did meet her organically and not online.  I was attracted to her the moment I met her.  I'm very feminine and nobody would ever guess I'm bi when looking at me.  

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On 2017-12-24 at 5:40 AM, gwnanc said:

Just wrote a post about this . I was wondering if anyother women were having problems finding feminine females to date . I know I am . I think most assume I am straight and don’t go to bars . And I know I assume the same when I see a feminine female I am attracted to. Plus dating sites in my area do not have alot of women appearing fem . Any suggestions 

No, I can’t say I have. I’ve met only feminine females that were interested in me at various places, like at work, the gym, bars. I have given some thought to this and I think that those alpha femme females are the ones with enough guts to go after something like this out in the real world. I am femme but they always spot me regardless...;)

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5 minutes ago, Brits said:

No, I can’t say I have. I’ve met only feminine females that were interested in me at various places, like at work, the gym, bars. I have given some thought to this and I think that those alpha femme females are the ones with enough guts to go after something like this out in the real world. I am femme but they always spot me regardless...;)

Sorry, missed the suggestions part...I would say look for signs of interest in those you find attractive. For me it has always been like with me being unaware, talking about something when I’ve noticed those females giving me the bottom to top look, ending with them biting their lip. Or the hair flick, that’s the most common sign I think, combined with a certain look in the eyes. I don’t look for those kind of signs but I would if I was actively searching for someone, and take it from there. Good luck!

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Yes. We were in our early twenties. She was my first. Met her through her mother (me and her mother used to walk our dogs together :-) ). Became instant friends, lost contact, met again in a bus to Alanis Morissette concert, she was with her female friend, I thought I saw some sparks between them. Few months later we were at some party together, had enough drinks to have courage to do something...and we came out to each other and one thing let to another... :-D

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While I’ve never “met” anyone organically, once I realized I had these feelings a few of my old time female friends that were bi came out to tell me how they have secretly had a long time crush on me, one I’m very interested in and one is a no way Jose lol!! I think I’m kinda unapproachable if you don’t know me but my husband makes an imposing impression on people that I’m his lol but he’s a teddy bear!!

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I've never been into online dating, and I'm pretty sure every woman I've "met" (I'll define that as anyone with whom I've had some strong indication of mutual interest) has been organically. Most of them at work or school, a few in other social-but-not-dating-oriented settings.

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