Amora

Finding that woman who can!

65 posts in this topic

On 27/11/2017 at 2:06 PM, Violetta said:

I ended up chatting to a lady near me via a dating site .. we chatted online for over a month but I freaked out haha had a bit of a moment and decided to stop... I wish I'd kept it going now and had the courage to meet her ... she seemed like one of the normal ones ... I don't know where I'd find anyone in the same situation as me, I have to be discreet and or hide it as a friendship etc ..  it's difficult isn't? As I do find some of these place to be very seedy and just not great ... x x 

Sorry to hear you got worried and freaked, it's difficult those first few times.  I was lucky enough to have my husband for support and encouragement in my first lesbian experiences as it was at a swinging club so he was there.

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4 hours ago, Amora said:

I completely agree.  I mean I'm 39, I'm not the smallest of women but I'm not exactly huge either. He's pretty awesome and yes we are poly and he does women but and it's a huge BUT we also are quite happy if the secondary partners are not involved sexually at all expect with one of us.  It just seems that the world is full of crazies and psychos when all I want is a woman who actually likes woman, has an idea where her own clit and g-spot are so we have at least a chance of clicking in bed and actually has personality and life of her own so that we have things we can talk about, share and do together besides sex.  Apparently this is too much to ask? xxx

*waves* I can tick those boxes, hehe!!!

On a serious note, from reading and interacting in these forums, I feel like there ARE women who fit that criteria. They just are too far away to make it work…boo!

 

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18 hours ago, Amora said:

I completely agree.  I mean I'm 39, I'm not the smallest of women but I'm not exactly huge either. He's pretty awesome and yes we are poly and he does women but and it's a huge BUT we also are quite happy if the secondary partners are not involved sexually at all expect with one of us.  It just seems that the world is full of crazies and psychos when all I want is a woman who actually likes woman, has an idea where her own clit and g-spot are so we have at least a chance of clicking in bed and actually has personality and life of her own so that we have things we can talk about, share and do together besides sex.  Apparently this is too much to ask? xxx

Definitely not. Where have you been all my life lol.

You have just hit the nail on the head. This is the ultimate goal. A woman who understands women and there needs outside of their relationship with their man 

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18 hours ago, Amora said:

Sorry to hear you got worried and freaked, it's difficult those first few times.  I was lucky enough to have my husband for support and encouragement in my first lesbian experiences as it was at a swinging club so he was there.

Yeah I'm ok now, I felt guilty I guess, I think I'm the end there was lack of communication on both sides ... x

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On 03/12/2017 at 7:37 AM, Gemini82 said:

*waves* I can tick those boxes, hehe!!!

On a serious note, from reading and interacting in these forums, I feel like there ARE women who fit that criteria. They just are too far away to make it work…boo!

 

There are indeed but then there are also those who look like they will and then when it comes down to it they actually haven't thought through or worked out how to give that time to a secondary relationship without making that secondary partner feel completely worthless due to their lack of ability to make that time for them.  It's a tough ask sometimes, especially from my point of view but I know it can be done.  Just need to find people who think the same way.

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21 hours ago, shazza21 said:

Definitely not. Where have you been all my life lol.

You have just hit the nail on the head. This is the ultimate goal. A woman who understands women and there needs outside of their relationship with their man 

Right here hunny, just been away from Shybi due to a past experience.  Only just decided to come back again.  xxx It's also about them actually having that time to give and being willing to work at balancing it all. 

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21 hours ago, Violetta said:

Yeah I'm ok now, I felt guilty I guess, I think I'm the end there was lack of communication on both sides ... x

Communication is everything, more so sometimes in all female relationships and especially in a poly situation. 

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56 minutes ago, Amora said:

Right here hunny, just been away from Shybi due to a past experience.  Only just decided to come back again.  xxx It's also about them actually having that time to give and being willing to work at balancing it all. 

Nice to see you back. Yeah now how you feel. Been there got the tshirt.

Communication is definitely the key on all sides. Making sure everyone feels valued and heard equally xx

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Just now, shazza21 said:

Nice to see you back. Yeah now how you feel. Been there got the tshirt.

Communication is definitely the key on all sides. Making sure everyone feels valued and heard equally xx

Communication sadly seems to be a dying art form.  Poly requires a lot of talking and working and actually being able to understand that you need to give your time and concentration to others as well as your primary partner. xxx I certainly have an issue with a supposed girlfriend not being able to make time to see me for about 4 months at a time!  I'm not obsessive but I do expect a little respect, attention and time. LOL

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Umm, can I just fly across the pond and live with you guys?  :blush: :D No luck whatsoever over here. This country is terrible right now anyway :rolleyes::D

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3 minutes ago, BellaLuna said:

Umm, can I just fly across the pond and live with you guys?  :blush: :D No luck whatsoever over here. This country is terrible right now anyway :rolleyes::D

If I had a spare room babe you'd be more than welcome.  I always think it looks easier in the US for bi married ladies, but then I guess not. xxxx

 

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27 minutes ago, Amora said:

Communication sadly seems to be a dying art form.  Poly requires a lot of talking and working and actually being able to understand that you need to give your time and concentration to others as well as your primary partner. xxx I certainly have an issue with a supposed girlfriend not being able to make time to see me for about 4 months at a time!  I'm not obsessive but I do expect a little respect, attention and time. LOL

That isnt a girlfriend. That is someone who needs to take a look at her priorities. Making time for everyone is essential is those kind of relationships. Can i ask is she still your girlfriend? X

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Just now, shazza21 said:

That isnt a girlfriend. That is someone who needs to take a look at her priorities. Making time for everyone is essential is those kind of relationships. Can i ask is she still your girlfriend? X

Hell no. LOL.  Not had a girlfriend since then, so approaching 3 years ish now I think.  I decided to stop actively looking and went back to Uni as well.  Now studying to be a midwife. :) xxx

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3 minutes ago, Amora said:

Hell no. LOL.  Not had a girlfriend since then, so approaching 3 years ish now I think.  I decided to stop actively looking and went back to Uni as well.  Now studying to be a midwife. :) xxx

Good for you. Dont deserve to be treated like you dont matter.

Xx

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9 minutes ago, shazza21 said:

Good for you. Dont deserve to be treated like you dont matter.

Xx

Took me a while to realise it but yes, it was rather traumatic as I've been married for 17 years and together for 20 so hadn't had to end anything for a while.  Bizarrely I don't think she saw it coming but I couldn't keep doing it and having my self-confidence eaten away. 

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2 hours ago, Amora said:

There are indeed but then there are also those who look like they will and then when it comes down to it they actually haven't thought through or worked out how to give that time to a secondary relationship without making that secondary partner feel completely worthless due to their lack of ability to make that time for them.  It's a tough ask sometimes, especially from my point of view but I know it can be done.  Just need to find people who think the same way.

When you do can you find enough to go around lol xx

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Urgh, why can't there be just one simple dating site for us? 

I have no idea where to start looking. Tried swinging sites, but they're full of single men, and the majority or single females are straight. :/

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7 hours ago, FriskyPixi said:

Urgh, why can't there be just one simple dating site for us? 

I have no idea where to start looking. Tried swinging sites, but they're full of single men, and the majority or single females are straight. :/

HER has its issues but it would at least get straight people out of the equation.

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11 hours ago, ChemFem said:

HER has its issues but it would at least get straight people out of the equation.

What kind of issues Chem, people just looking for sex?

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4 hours ago, FriskyPixi said:

What kind of issues Chem, people just looking for sex?

I think? I've not used it personally, just seen other people complain about it on here.

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9 hours ago, ChemFem said:

I think? I've not used it personally, just seen other people complain about it on here.

I've not used HER either... I doubt it would be that easy using it though? Trying to keep things descreet etc x having to have an app on my phone etc x I'm not that brave 

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I used Her in the past and liked it. My husband knew I was on it, so I didn’t have to be discreet in that manner, but I liked that with it just being women seeking women there was a much smaller likelihood of me running into people I know on it. 

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I am on Ok Cupid, Tinder and this other site called Soul Geek lol. I have NO luck at all, and then people will message me and then they don't respond after I answer. Then you get the couples that want you to join them for fun...joining couples is fine for some poly people, but I want something real. I have the time even with my hubby to give a woman one on one time...in fact I have more time to give to a woman than my hubby because of his schedule. It would be nice to have a woman show me the same dedication that I give her. I just don't do the "for fun" and one night stands.

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7 hours ago, Autumnwolf said:

I am on Ok Cupid, Tinder and this other site called Soul Geek lol. I have NO luck at all, and then people will message me and then they don't respond after I answer. Then you get the couples that want you to join them for fun...joining couples is fine for some poly people, but I want something real. I have the time even with my hubby to give a woman one on one time...in fact I have more time to give to a woman than my hubby because of his schedule. It would be nice to have a woman show me the same dedication that I give her. I just don't do the "for fun" and one night stands.

Having your husband ok with It is a major element of luck! 

I'm exactly the same but without that freedom unfortunately 

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Well atleast we r all in the same boat. I too am lucky enough to have my husband' support which really does make a huge difference. Meeting a girl is the problem. It' generally people wanting threesomes which I'm not into or lesbians that don't want anything to do with me once they hear I'm bi and worse still married lol. I did manage to meet someone really nice in a similar situation to myself but it never went anywhere. Meeting people is just too hard. From reading on here it seems there are loads of us but we have no where to connect which is a shame.

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