UnicornKween

How do you prefer to be approached?

6 posts in this topic

So I've been following one of my favorite queer youtubers Ari Fitz for a while and she posed a very good question. 

How do you prefer to be approached?

Often we're used to feeling uncomfortable when being apprached, so a lot of the time we try to make sure that when we're approaching someone to avoid making it weird, creepy or uncomfortable.

With that in mind, sometimes we might meet someone who we think is just being nice but they're actually trying to send signals. So is there an opportunity for us to be more assertive? In what way? 

I'm really curious about your experiences of some really good and bad times a woman has approached you, your preference on how you like being approached and some do's and don'ts. 

Alright and go!

Happy Holidays

Edited by UnicornKween
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Ideally, starting with hello is always nice :P I don't particularly like anyone overly flirtatous or aggressive. I'm suspicious of anyone who is extremely complimentary or too nice after only a few seconds. It's great when someone looks at your face and is willing to make conversation rather than pedal an agenda.

We don't get a lot of say in how we're approached or have the insight into how someone else wants to be approached outside of body language and responses. Also knowing when someone isn't interested and letting it go is vital. Humor is subjective, I don't find basic jokes funny and someone who just met you shouldn't be getting overly familiar. I've had people try to rile or tease me and that's meant to make me like them? :lol:

Awkwardness is a factor too, where people don't say what they really mean or much of anything at all in some cases. I approach people with the idea that it's nothing more than a conversation if you allow yourself to think further than that it can be overwhelming.

Liquid courage can do all sorts of things to people as well so if you're head isn't clear don't bother, unless that person is on the same level and you can be idiots together! That sort of awareness comes with maturity and experience. I didn't think about how I came across until I got older. You don't just want someone to tolerate you. You want to be memorable and worthy of respect.

Edited by Hungry
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Oh, interesting.....It's never happened, so I really don't know. I don't like super aggressive, but I do like a woman who takes charge. But being a little nervous or shy could be cute too...hell, at this point, I think I would be happy with a woman just approaching me, period! I'll take whatever I can get, lol :rolleyes::lol: 

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Hello and a smile would be a good start. After that it’s up to the person to make conversation that clearly indicates their agenda without being too direct. I think they call it ‘clever conversation’. Best delivered with a bit of humour though, eases the awkwardness.

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Friendly and comfortable.  Even if I were single blunt aggression would raise the drawbridge on my interests.  Too forceful, too shy, too seemingly uncomfortable with themselves or interactions are all signs that someone's way too internally preoccupied for me to slip into the dance already in progress.  

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Being a bit shy myself, I like assertive (but not aggressive) women. And if I am approached with some humorous comment that makes sense in the situation even better.  A hint of 'classy flirting' as opposed to in your face over the top flirting is very cool.  Any woman who radiates confidence (but not cockiness of course) is truly a beautiful woman!  

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