annak

A Side Chick does not mean Chicken.

8 posts in this topic

Discuss your bi sexual journey... I am honest in my relationships. I'm not perfect, but I try to be up front when it comes to feelings. I love women. I love men. I can only be in love with men. Soooo, being on the up and up I try to explain to women, I love being really great friends with the most awesome benefits. That's it. I am not emotionally stunted, you are not going to change me, please don't tell me I am afraid of discovering I am capable of having romantic feelings with a woman, If I was gay, I would be gay. And more power to me. NO. I am just not designed that way. Like me for me, I'll like you for you. So why get angry at me or tell me I'm intentionally hurting you when your feelings change and mine don't. I don't want a threesome, I don't want to be a girlfriend, I just want to enjoy your company and have some really fantastic sex, or some super hot make outs, or going for coffee and talking about everything. I want to be involved, but I don't want to be your partner. Why is sometimes so difficult to understand I like being your side chick... your friend, confidant, lover, shoulder if you need it, your go to girl. I'll even make you soup when your sick. But just because I can't be in love with you, doesn't mean I can't love you. That doesn't make me an emotional chicken. Is it just me? Please someone out there tell me it's just not me.  

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I am the opposite, I'm afraid.  While I totally relate to not wanting a woman full-time (I'm married to a man), I definitely CAN fall in love with a woman.  For me, the sex is really good because of the emotional connection behind it. I couldn't meet someone at a bar for the first time and go home with them and enjoy sex.  There would be no connection for me and that attraction and connection is what turns me on.

Your reply reminds me a little of my girl (for lack of a better way of referring to her, as I'm currently in the process of extricating myself from her).  Although my girl will never, EVER call herself a "girlfriend" of any woman (because that implies feelings and she would never admit to feelings), she will freely admit she has enjoyed sex with women in a threesome context.  

I've read that other women on here can't fall in love with another woman.  They say they only like sex with them.  I'm imagining you'll get some responses by women who agree with you.  Being honest about what you want is healthy and important.  It doesn't make you flawed or insensitive because you can't fall in love with a woman.  

Edited by FlaGrl08
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It's not just you. I feel the same in many ways. For some people the whole idea of being anything other than first/only makes people think there must be something wrong with you. Is it really that hard to understand? Personally, it's just I'm not in a rush and perhaps am better suited with men. I built a life with one woman based on who she was, I know seeking that in future is unlikely to bring me success?

I like being around people who are just as independent and loving as I am. The last part is important to reiterate, you can care for someone deeply on many levels and not go home to them every night or speak to them every day and you can hang out with other people and that's your business. I wish more people were be open to possibilities rather than assuming the only way they can be fulfilled is through a relationship with one person, it might be true for most but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

Being like that doesn't have to meet you fear commitment or that you don't have a connection. Even if it's casual as you get older you've gotta be liking someone for more than the physical, haven't you? So the whole you're so uncaring and unattached line that some people use when you don't want to be serious with them is ridiculous. I might not seem like it, but I'm willing to bet I care and love just as deeply as anyone else if not more so because I've found there's more than an on/off switch when it comes to chemistry and attraction. 

I've been in love with both men and women so for me it's not that. It's more I internally battle an roll eye every time someone says "I've loved everyone I've been with" or "we're in love" and they've just met. I don't get how love can be so fixed and simple for people? I've cared for people in my life differently, very few were right or significant to really make it to that point. Sometimes I feel like people love solely because they want to be loved and not because that person etc is the answer or anywhere close to that level. We're all different I guess?

I like soup and chicken so I'm happy to place an order @annak :D Just be yourself, you'll get more out of life in the long-term even if some people do look at you like you're from another planet sometimes. It took me a while to realize that this is a positive.

Edited by Hungry
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I have no sexual experience with women yet, so I don't know how I will act at that point, but I Am with You @annak. That is what I want. I want a good friend who I have fun with and once in a while have really hot sex. I do want to get hit on at a bar by a woman and make out with her or something. I've never had that with men or women. And I'm happy with my husband. I'm just a horndog.

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Thanks for the feedback. I make no apologies for the way I feel. I also would not consider the way I feel a flaw, though some may think so. I like relationships with women, I just don't feel connected in the same way I do with a man. I am a very friends first, through, and hopefully if and when that relationship ends. Trust is trust with men or women. I think that is what is built through friendship. When the relationship grows or wanes; at the end of the day,we can only hope we have enriched each other. I have no issues with having feelings. Dammit I love to feel, means I'm alive! I like to share my feelings, I am not emotionally stingy. If I like you, you know it. But why does that have to translate into being in love? That is the dilemma. @noobi, the last line cracked me up. I have met people that were such an instant turn on, that spark could not be denied. But jumping in the sack with someone I don't know, not my thing. But some really hot kissing is not off the table if I am attracted to someone I just met. I hope you get to experience whatever it is that you want. @Hungry thank you for your insight. Yes, I feel like I've grown two heads sometimes. @FlaGrl08 I appreciate the answer from a woman who does have that ability to fall in love with a woman. It is nice to hear from a different perspective and non judgey wudgey. Chicken soup for all! Thank you ladies:)  

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On 12/10/2017 at 6:39 PM, annak said:

Discuss your bi sexual journey... I am honest in my relationships. I'm not perfect, but I try to be up front when it comes to feelings. I love women. I love men. I can only be in love with men. Soooo, being on the up and up I try to explain to women, I love being really great friends with the most awesome benefits. That's it. I am not emotionally stunted, you are not going to change me, please don't tell me I am afraid of discovering I am capable of having romantic feelings with a woman, If I was gay, I would be gay. And more power to me. NO. I am just not designed that way. Like me for me, I'll like you for you. So why get angry at me or tell me I'm intentionally hurting you when your feelings change and mine don't. I don't want a threesome, I don't want to be a girlfriend, I just want to enjoy your company and have some really fantastic sex, or some super hot make outs, or going for coffee and talking about everything. I want to be involved, but I don't want to be your partner. Why is sometimes so difficult to understand I like being your side chick... your friend, confidant, lover, shoulder if you need it, your go to girl. I'll even make you soup when your sick. But just because I can't be in love with you, doesn't mean I can't love you. That doesn't make me an emotional chicken. Is it just me? Please someone out there tell me it's just not me.  

I think you're awesome because that is exactly the type of chick I need to find. A side chick. The only thing is that the person has to be OK with the fact that I have a husband. But he totally supportive and wants me to explore my attraction to women. That's just hard to find :(

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On 12/11/2017 at 5:06 PM, N00Bi said:

I have no sexual experience with women yet, so I don't know how I will act at that point, but I Am with You @annak. That is what I want. I want a good friend who I have fun with and once in a while have really hot sex. I do want to get hit on at a bar by a woman and make out with her or something. I've never had that with men or women. And I'm happy with my husband. I'm just a horndog.

I haven't had the experience other than a short make out session. But I definitely want to experience more. I'm in the same situation, I love my husband but I have a strong attraction to women. 

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Ah man, I need a side chick! 

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