Rani

Differences between sex with male vs female

84 posts in this topic

On 21/01/2018 at 3:12 AM, bikiwi said:

I'd like to make a request for this thread, if possible a person who understands polyamory could explain it please and also someone who is experienced in lifestyles described in The Ethical Slut, or someone who can speak in terms of things like open relationships etc. If you've read this thread and feel you have something to impart, it would be a good perspective.

I've read this and feel it could benefit from such perspectives, however, since I have no valid experiences with such perspectives, personally, I can't give them!

Cheers.....

PS. One does not need sexual experience with a man or a woman to know you are bi! No label is even needed.

Someone who is straight isn't required to prove their sexuality beforehand.

So, for me, even if I never have experience with a woman, if I am attracted to them, chances are very high, I am a woman who is attracted to women, even if I never put any label on myself.

I would be interested to hear about those experiences. Ive got the ebook but have not read it fully. 

I just want one guy and girl when it comes to relationships but not anyone else out of those 2 relationships.

I guess my situation is similar to many girls here in 1 relationship but wanting to explore their other side. For me ive tried love based relationships with males but the emotional attraction i have with my gf i cant seem to get with any other. 

I try to ask her if there are any other girls she likes. She said i can date/marry who i want but she only loves me. Its hard for me to think or pursue another relationship knowing she will be waiting for me, wanting to cook and take care if me.

 

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On 21/01/2018 at 3:29 AM, bikiwi said:

One more thing, it's personal choice also, but it is not necessary to lose your virginity to any escort! That means the sex will be transactional in nature, so the person will be focused on that.

I lost my virginity to a man in some house, in some bed, a long time ago and while I'd like to change that, it happened 18 years ago and there's no point dwelling on the circumstances of it not being too romantic, haha. (He wasn't not an escort, just some boring Kiwi guy, lol!)

A caring partner, hopefully with a bit of romance may have been better for me, but I am sure many women say that in hindsight, Also within a love relationship, if at all possible!

All respect to sex workers, but they're certainly mostly not in a such a job for love or romance!

I was thinking the escort could provide romance as well. Main thing would be it would be it could be romantic or sexual but it wouldnt affect my relationship with my gf or make her feel insecure 

Edited by Rani
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14 minutes ago, Rani said:

I think i am overthinking it because this is the first time someone in a long distance relationship is making the effort to visit me or wait for me.

 

Im not sure what i will be missing if i never date men and im with her all my life. People will find out eventually and maybe i will have to deal with homophobia especially around the people in my neighbourhood and community. She makes me feel like its worth it.

Maybe i have too many expectations. I hope both my gf and the guy will be my first priority but most likely it will just be my gf. I dont mind if i am not his first priority as long as we meet each others requirements. If he needs to have a marriage for various reasons i can fulfil that and he can help fulfil my reasons.

Maybe beard and the sperm aspect is all im really after at this point. Maybe i will just go with the flow and see what happens. We have 14 weeks together . It should help me figure out if we have chemistry.

I imagine it's easy to overthink things when you've waiting this far into your life for something like this.  As someone who also overthinks, it's understandable.  Thankfully, my girlfriend is able to help me stop the tailspin when I tend to overthink!  It's one of the many ways we balance each other out.  How does your GF handle it when you're overthinking, or is she the same way?

If it meant I was with the right person for me, it might be easier to imagine missing out on certain things in life.  But it also sounds like your GF is okay with you experimenting.  Is there a guy friend you might be able to explore with a bit? That way at least it's someone you care for and trust, and you can have an understanding of what it's about.  If you're not as worried about the emotional aspect of it, there are a thousand guys out there looking to hook up with a woman, and I'm sure you could go about it that way if you really wanted to, but if you've waited this long, let your first time with someone (regardless of gender) be something special that you get to share with him/her.  There's likely a reason you've waited this long.

The right woman will make dealing with the homophobia worth it.  Are you able to move to a more gay-friendly area?  I have seen on here more times than not that people don't deal with nearly the amount of homophobia that they'd envisioned when they are more out.

As for having kids, what about a friend who is of the same age or so who has also always wanted kids, but never found the right partner, or who is also in a same-sex relationship and can't do it without outside help?  Years ago, a good friend of mine and I had a plan to move in together as friends, and he would ejaculate into a cup, and leave the house, and I would insert it myself, and the goal was to raise kids together as a family, as friends, and being honest and open about our arrangement.  He's said to me that he regrets backing out of that when he did.  I have a 9 year old now, but with someone I wish I didn't have to deal with anymore.  Part of me wishes my friend and I had done that.  My son actually sees my friend more as his dad than his own dad, but that's a whole other topic.

Really, you won't be able to plan for every possibility in life.  Enjoy the 14 weeks you and she have together, and see where they take you.  As best you can, try not to put too much expectation on it (I am bad about this as well!!).  Expectations rarely lead to good outcomes.  More like disappointment and hurt feelings.  Try to let them go as best you can.

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On 21/01/2018 at 8:15 AM, bikiwi said:

Haha, that was a request for her benefit not mine - but maybe she doesn't need to know! (And I can't speak for her at all - lol.). Suffice to say, I can get that book, or research polyamory myself if I need to! (I've already read a bit in the past, but going off topic.)

I just thought it could be outlined as a lot of the thread was about open relationships with bi men included, etc. But, yes you're right, it could open up a few too many questions!

I am open to all knowledge and wisdom u, hungry and bitrimama can give me.

:)

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On 21/01/2018 at 8:26 AM, Hungry said:

Oh that's fine then. As long as you're cool let's leave it unless OP asks. It's probably best to experience one relationship before trying or even truly considering open dynamics. Everyone has already echoed overthinking so I personally won't bother, but who knows someone else might agree and chime in :P

 I've only seen bi men that are married to women in open relationships and it's still pretty rare and I've never seen a bi guy in a same sex relationship be involved with women,  just poly with other men, so I don't think that's somehing OP even needs to consider. She's a woman so the points of reference would just be off from the start with no other dating experience, the equivalent of throwing yourself in the deep end, before you've learnt to swim!

I guess its better to pass primary school then go to high school. Maybe climb a small hill before mount everest.

 

The anticipation of the event is making them overthink. From my search so far i have only across a few bi men who would be open to it. One calls himself asexual and the other is transgender. Finding a bi male in a same sex relationship is hard.

 

Maybe i should handle one relationship before adding in another.

:)

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2 hours ago, BiTriMama said:

I imagine it's easy to overthink things when you've waiting this far into your life for something like this.  As someone who also overthinks, it's understandable.  Thankfully, my girlfriend is able to help me stop the tailspin when I tend to overthink!  It's one of the many ways we balance each other out.  How does your GF handle it when you're overthinking, or is she the same way?

If it meant I was with the right person for me, it might be easier to imagine missing out on certain things in life.  But it also sounds like your GF is okay with you experimenting.  Is there a guy friend you might be able to explore with a bit? That way at least it's someone you care for and trust, and you can have an understanding of what it's about.  If you're not as worried about the emotional aspect of it, there are a thousand guys out there looking to hook up with a woman, and I'm sure you could go about it that way if you really wanted to, but if you've waited this long, let your first time with someone (regardless of gender) be something special that you get to share with him/her.  There's likely a reason you've waited this long.

The right woman will make dealing with the homophobia worth it.  Are you able to move to a more gay-friendly area?  I have seen on here more times than not that people don't deal with nearly the amount of homophobia that they'd envisioned when they are more out.

As for having kids, what about a friend who is of the same age or so who has also always wanted kids, but never found the right partner, or who is also in a same-sex relationship and can't do it without outside help?  Years ago, a good friend of mine and I had a plan to move in together as friends, and he would ejaculate into a cup, and leave the house, and I would insert it myself, and the goal was to raise kids together as a family, as friends, and being honest and open about our arrangement.  He's said to me that he regrets backing out of that when he did.  I have a 9 year old now, but with someone I wish I didn't have to deal with anymore.  Part of me wishes my friend and I had done that.  My son actually sees my friend more as his dad than his own dad, but that's a whole other topic.

Really, you won't be able to plan for every possibility in life.  Enjoy the 14 weeks you and she have together, and see where they take you.  As best you can, try not to put too much expectation on it (I am bad about this as well!!).  Expectations rarely lead to good outcomes.  More like disappointment and hurt feelings.  Try to let them go as best you can.

I tend to overthink about everything. So this is just an extension of my overthinking. My gf does less overthinking and is more positive about the future. She believes with time my family and friends will come around. That my whole family voted fot marriage equality is a positive sign. She said we will deal with problems as they come along. She wants to be in the same city as me so she can be there fot me.

 

I will have my first time with my gf. I want her to be my first kiss, first lingering hug and first person i have sex with.

 

I dont have single unattached males i could be comfortable to have sex with. I need to have that emotional attraction to someone which has been lacking with most males ive come across.

Maybe i will leave the sex with a male till i make a good relationship foundatiom

 

 

That sounds like a great arrangement you have with a friend. I asked 2 gay friends about donating sperm. One said he wasnt ready the other said maybe/he will have to see.

 

Thanks bitrimama. I will see how those 14 weeks go without expectation

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I think i was hoping someone would tell me a relationship with a female who is in love with you will be better quality than with a male. More satisfying and overall better intimacy. As in there would be enough reasons to overcome the obstacles of homophobia.

I know this is kind of unreasonable since relationships are individual but i mean overall

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50 minutes ago, Rani said:

I think i was hoping someone would tell me a relationship with a female who is in love with you will be better quality than with a male. More satisfying and overall better intimacy. As in there would be enough reasons to overcome the obstacles of homophobia.

I know this is kind of unreasonable since relationships are individual but i mean overall

You said it yourself, it's not only a strange to ask but also entirely subjective. Bottom line, you cannot fight how you feel entirely and of course many men and women do fight against their sexual desires and live an assumed hetero-normative life for the sake of norms, it doesn't necessarily mean it's better. Happiness counts for a lot and if you're happy with someone it should come naturally to want to be with them, if you don't feel you can or don't feel strongly enough for them that's a personal choice you've made based on the relationship not because they happen to be female?

As you've never been in a relationship really from what you've said you'll only discover how you feel by living and if/when you do find love, you'll feel that too.

My own thoughts go something like this: I would have to listen to both my head and my heart. I've had enough experience in life to know that like most people I am at my best when I am truest to myself and that also makes me strive and love more fully. Some people would say life is easier with a man and on a base level maybe, but I am attracted to people, not their gender or what they can offer me in terms of a pre-packed life - marriage, kids etc. I know I could have all these things or none of them with a man or a woman.

I've come to a point where it doesn't matter what some might think/say/do, dating is one part of your life and it can be as open or as private as I wish it to be and if  there were areas of my life where this was not accepted or unwise to showcase then I would discuss it with my partner and we would either face it head on or accept that not everything is perfect but our lives together could still be wonderful. Also I don't plan to date seriously in future with anyone without them knowing my sexuality and my experiences, they may not wish to stay with me, but I'll take my chances, if the love and foundation isn't true then I don't want it anyway. 

I think the more you live, the more you learn and you figure out what's best for you and where to draw lines in the sand on what you will and won't accept in your life - why rush or force yourself into situations/relationships without considering your feelings and wants, they say life is short but if you're in a tough spot, it can feel long and of course they're instances where people are willing to make that scarifice. I consider myself to be loyal and determined but in the long-term I don't think I would or could stay with someone just because society or a small handful might not like it. You create your life, you can change, move, live, love, fail and succeed and the one thing that never changes is that somebody is always going to have an opinion -  are you really going to let that stop you?

Edited by Hungry
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On 11/01/2018 at 3:29 AM, Rani said:

With a woman? I ask because i have a long distance gf i really love. Ive never had sexual relations with a guy or girl. I just want to know if i can never physical relations with a guy who accepts my situation will i be missing out. Missing out on anything apart from children but then there are other ways for that.

 Hope i can explore the physical side when i meet her 

 

 Don't talk to my family about children, since I came out to my dad and his gf I hear far too often turkey basters being mentioned XD

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On 1/23/2018 at 7:00 AM, Tellok said:

 Don't talk to my family about children, since I came out to my dad and his gf I hear far too often turkey basters being mentioned XD

Haha yeah my brother and I are already contingency planning for what to do if we both end up with same sex partners. Our parents have made it abundantly clear to both of us that they expect biological grandchildren. It makes me sad and angry on his behalf that he is already worried about this at fifteen, before he has even dated a person of any gender.

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On ‎23‎/‎01‎/‎2018 at 6:00 AM, Tellok said:

 Don't talk to my family about children, since I came out to my dad and his gf I hear far too often turkey basters being mentioned XD

haha parents always have children in mind. Turkey basters, IVF, artificial insemination. Technology has made it a bit earlier.

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On ‎24‎/‎01‎/‎2018 at 0:09 PM, ChemFem said:

Haha yeah my brother and I are already contingency planning for what to do if we both end up with same sex partners. Our parents have made it abundantly clear to both of us that they expect biological grandchildren. It makes me sad and angry on his behalf that he is already worried about this at fifteen, before he has even dated a person of any gender.

That's sad he has to think about this at such a young age. I know a gay couple and they have 3 kids through surrogacy. where there is a will there is a way. I also know of a straight couple who have foster cared. It is just about what works for the couple.

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On ‎23‎/‎01‎/‎2018 at 5:44 AM, Hungry said:

You said it yourself, it's not only a strange to ask but also entirely subjective. Bottom line, you cannot fight how you feel entirely and of course many men and women do fight against their sexual desires and live an assumed hetero-normative life for the sake of norms, it doesn't necessarily mean it's better. Happiness counts for a lot and if you're happy with someone it should come naturally to want to be with them, if you don't feel you can or don't feel strongly enough for them that's a personal choice you've made based on the relationship not because they happen to be female?

As you've never been in a relationship really from what you've said you'll only discover how you feel by living and if/when you do find love, you'll feel that too.

My own thoughts go something like this: I would have to listen to both my head and my heart. I've had enough experience in life to know that like most people I am at my best when I am truest to myself and that also makes me strive and love more fully. Some people would say life is easier with a man and on a base level maybe, but I am attracted to people, not their gender or what they can offer me in terms of a pre-packed life - marriage, kids etc. I know I could have all these things or none of them with a man or a woman.

I've come to a point where it doesn't matter what some might think/say/do, dating is one part of your life and it can be as open or as private as I wish it to be and if  there were areas of my life where this was not accepted or unwise to showcase then I would discuss it with my partner and we would either face it head on or accept that not everything is perfect but our lives together could still be wonderful. Also I don't plan to date seriously in future with anyone without them knowing my sexuality and my experiences, they may not wish to stay with me, but I'll take my chances, if the love and foundation isn't true then I don't want it anyway. 

I think the more you live, the more you learn and you figure out what's best for you and where to draw lines in the sand on what you will and won't accept in your life - why rush or force yourself into situations/relationships without considering your feelings and wants, they say life is short but if you're in a tough spot, it can feel long and of course they're instances where people are willing to make that scarifice. I consider myself to be loyal and determined but in the long-term I don't think I would or could stay with someone just because society or a small handful might not like it. You create your life, you can change, move, live, love, fail and succeed and the one thing that never changes is that somebody is always going to have an opinion -  are you really going to let that stop you?

I thought it might give me some idea. You're right happiness. counts for a lot. Sometimes the homophobia I see around can be nauseating. Someone said to me he considered same sex attraction and sex a psychological disorder that can be treated. I told him gay conversion therapy was harmful and dangerous. I don't want to live a life I will regret on my final day. I want to be true to myself. I am trying to build a supportive network around me. At the moment all I have is online. It might be easier to have an open life once I have more people I can openly come out to.

You have a great and clear approach to dating. I definitely want to be upfront with my sexual orientation and if someone is truly interested it will not bother them.
Once I develop more confidence in who I am I think society will have less impact on me. I am still recovering from homophobia I faced during the marriage equality campaign in Australia. Lot of it from religious conservative people who do not have much compassion.

 

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10 minutes ago, Rani said:

I thought it might give me some idea. You're right happiness. counts for a lot. Sometimes the homophobia I see around can be nauseating. Someone said to me he considered same sex attraction and sex a psychological disorder that can be treated. I told him gay conversion therapy was harmful and dangerous. I don't want to live a life I will regret on my final day. I want to be true to myself. I am trying to build a supportive network around me. At the moment all I have is online. It might be easier to have an open life once I have more people I can openly come out to.

You have a great and clear approach to dating. I definitely want to be upfront with my sexual orientation and if someone is truly interested it will not bother them.
Once I develop more confidence in who I am I think society will have less impact on me. I am still recovering from homophobia I faced during the marriage equality campaign in Australia. Lot of it from religious conservative people who do not have much compassion.

 

You're certainly on your way @Rani these things take time. It is natural to be anxious - the unknown is scary but if it didn't matter you wouldn't feel that way in the first place! As for what people think/say, you choose how you let that affect you, just like anything else it'll come with burdens and stresses but also an overwhelming amount of joy, you'll find your circle - whether it be online or off and regardless of how life works out for you, there's an undeniable amount of strength and power that comes from being active in the course your life takes.

To be it's not about orrientation or love, those are just coincidental factors - the crux for me is what kind of person you are at heart and how will you show/use that out in the world? There's no wrong or right, only you.

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On 1/23/2018 at 4:56 AM, Rani said:

I think i was hoping someone would tell me a relationship with a female who is in love with you will be better quality than with a male. More satisfying and overall better intimacy. As in there would be enough reasons to overcome the obstacles of homophobia.

I know this is kind of unreasonable since relationships are individual but i mean overall

This isn't something anyone else can answer for you.  I mean, for me personally, relationships with women, overall, are WAY more gratifying than with men, but I also identify as gay.  I can guarantee that my gay male friends or straight female friends, and even some bi friends would say that relationships with men are more gratifying.  It's very individual, and yes, like you said, each relationship is individual.

Quality-wise, also very individual.  Someone can treat you like shit, no matter their gender.  You can mesh with someone or not, regardless of gender.

Only you can decide for yourself if it's reason enough to overcome the homophobia.  Like I said before, for the right person for me, I would absolutely choose to drudge through that homophobia, or move together somewhere where we could be out and ourselves.  Thankfully, I live somewhere where we can be very out.  I even have a pic of my girl and me on my desk, and I've had a couple of patients compliment me on it.

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On 1/23/2018 at 6:00 AM, Tellok said:

 Don't talk to my family about children, since I came out to my dad and his gf I hear far too often turkey basters being mentioned XD

 

On 1/24/2018 at 0:09 PM, ChemFem said:

Haha yeah my brother and I are already contingency planning for what to do if we both end up with same sex partners. Our parents have made it abundantly clear to both of us that they expect biological grandchildren. It makes me sad and angry on his behalf that he is already worried about this at fifteen, before he has even dated a person of any gender.

 

11 hours ago, Rani said:

haha parents always have children in mind. Turkey basters, IVF, artificial insemination. Technology has made it a bit earlier.

This was the first thing my mom thought about when I came out to her, too.  "Do I still get grandkids?"

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On ‎1‎/‎02‎/‎2018 at 6:56 AM, BiTriMama said:

 

 

This was the first thing my mom thought about when I came out to her, too.  "Do I still get grandkids?"

haha I am 100% sure my dad will say the same when I come out to him. Where there is a will there Is a way. I know straight couples together with no children and some have foster cared. Being in a same sex relationship does not mean infertility :)  It may be less spontaneous but not impossible

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I had come across this book called "Act like a lady. Think like a man" written by this guy, a famous talk show host, on differences between male and female love. He was saying  that women shouldn't expect the same type of love from a man. Their love is different. I wonder how true this is in same sex relationships. Is a woman's love really the same.

"Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean
really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough. That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance. "

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On ‎1‎/‎02‎/‎2018 at 6:53 AM, BiTriMama said:

This isn't something anyone else can answer for you.  I mean, for me personally, relationships with women, overall, are WAY more gratifying than with men, but I also identify as gay.  I can guarantee that my gay male friends or straight female friends, and even some bi friends would say that relationships with men are more gratifying.  It's very individual, and yes, like you said, each relationship is individual.

Quality-wise, also very individual.  Someone can treat you like shit, no matter their gender.  You can mesh with someone or not, regardless of gender.

Only you can decide for yourself if it's reason enough to overcome the homophobia.  Like I said before, for the right person for me, I would absolutely choose to drudge through that homophobia, or move together somewhere where we could be out and ourselves.  Thankfully, I live somewhere where we can be very out.  I even have a pic of my girl and me on my desk, and I've had a couple of patients compliment me on it.

I agree it depends on what an individual finds gratifying. Would you say more bi women are gratified by women then men or does it depend where they are on the spectrum? If they are 6 or more out of 10 with 10 being homosexual would they be more likely to be gratified by women than vice versa.

In this book I was reading a guy was describing what female love is like compared to male love.  Instead male love is more about protecting, professing verbally and providing. I wonder if it holds true in same sex relationships where there is love. Or if its just old fashioned way of thinking.  I can see my gf having all these qualities but I wonder how common it is or if there really is a difference in terms of quality of love.

 

"Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean
really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough. That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance. "

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On 2/1/2018 at 2:58 PM, Rani said:

I agree it depends on what an individual finds gratifying. Would you say more bi women are gratified by women then men or does it depend where they are on the spectrum? If they are 6 or more out of 10 with 10 being homosexual would they be more likely to be gratified by women than vice versa.

In this book I was reading a guy was describing what female love is like compared to male love.  Instead male love is more about protecting, professing verbally and providing. I wonder if it holds true in same sex relationships where there is love. Or if its just old fashioned way of thinking.  I can see my gf having all these qualities but I wonder how common it is or if there really is a difference in terms of quality of love.

 

"Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean
really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough. That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance. "

Again, I think you're looking for broad generalizations, and that's dangerous thinking.

Some bi women are happier with men, some with women, most it's more individual.

As far as male love versus female love, again, too generalized (and frankly, makes it sound like women will put up with anything).  I have certainly met women who aren't into the kind of love described as the way a woman loves here, and vice versa.  My girlfriend is incredibly protective of me, very verbal about her feelings toward me, and is really big on pulling her weight financially.  But she also possesses many of the other qualities you listed.  Again, it's just very individual. 

I think maybe it'll be easier for you when things aren't as theoretical as they are right now, with there still being so much time before you and your girl are together.  You'll learn more about how it feels once you two are in the same place at the same time, and that will be your experience and yours alone.  How you two relate to each other will be different from how you might relate to another person.  Each relationship is different.

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On 03/02/2018 at 2:28 PM, BiTriMama said:

Again, I think you're looking for broad generalizations, and that's dangerous thinking.

Some bi women are happier with men, some with women, most it's more individual.

As far as male love versus female love, again, too generalized (and frankly, makes it sound like women will put up with anything).  I have certainly met women who aren't into the kind of love described as the way a woman loves here, and vice versa.  My girlfriend is incredibly protective of me, very verbal about her feelings toward me, and is really big on pulling her weight financially.  But she also possesses many of the other qualities you listed.  Again, it's just very individual. 

I think maybe it'll be easier for you when things aren't as theoretical as they are right now, with there still being so much time before you and your girl are together.  You'll learn more about how it feels once you two are in the same place at the same time, and that will be your experience and yours alone.  How you two relate to each other will be different from how you might relate to another person.  Each relationship is different.

True. I did feel it was  a bit generalised. I guess i will know more when she is here. There are a lot of assumptions in the above. I know not all guys are like that but i have not met one with the qualities of my gf. 

People say as a bi person you can choose. Why not choose a guy to make your life easier and free from homophobia? But you cant choose who you fall in love with 

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4 hours ago, Rani said:

True. I did feel it was  a bit generalised. I guess i will know more when she is here. There are a lot of assumptions in the above. I know not all guys are like that but i have not met one with the qualities of my gf. 

People say as a bi person you can choose. Why not choose a guy to make your life easier and free from homophobia? But you cant choose who you fall in love with 

It would be SO much easier if we COULD choose!  But sometimes it's just about the right PERSON.

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39 minutes ago, BiTriMama said:

It would be SO much easier if we COULD choose!  But sometimes it's just about the right PERSON.

I saw a photo of someone who had a fake jersey that says Kinsey 3. I joked that the back should say "I picked a team, are you happy now?"

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On 05/03/2018 at 4:20 AM, BiTriMama said:

It would be SO much easier if we COULD choose!  But sometimes it's just about the right PERSON.

People have this mistaken view that we can choose who to like being bisexual. That if i have choice of being attracted to a female why would i choose a female

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Update to the situation.

 

My gf is here in Australia. Its quite amazing at the moment. I have moved far from home to work. Its great havi g her there. Cooking , cuddling, holding hands and watching movies with same sex couples together. We have been able to have a few long drives together

Ive gotten my fjrst hickey. We have made out a little. 

She is amazing in many ways. I have early morning shifts so she packs my lunch and when i have late shifts she packs dinner.

 

At the back of my mind i sometimes wonder whether i should try out wigh a guy. Ive never met someone with the same compatibility as my gf and i do t want casual one night stand

 

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