Curiouslouisa01

Secretly bicurious?

72 posts in this topic

Hi everyone. I’m 45 and happily Married and have been for 22 years but I am very bicurious or maybe bisexual as I’ve had one experience. It was amazing and I really want to do it again. Any others in same situation where hubby doesn’t know how you feel?  Don’t tell me to discuss it with him as I’m really not sure how he’d take it and I wouldn’t want him involved anyway. Just need this for me x

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Welcome

You will find lots of women in your position. Married to a man for a long time but wanting to experience a woman. You are lucky to have had the experience many of us haven't.

I know you said dont mention talking to your husband. I felt the same but after being on Shy for a while I found the courage and strength to tell him. Best thing i ever did now I'm free to be me and eyeing up women together is fun lol.

What ever works for you is fine. Nobody judges you here. It's great place to be yourself

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Hi Shazza. Thanks for the reply. I’ve sort of mentioned to him that I find 2 women quite a turn on before so I think he has an idea, may be that he wouldn’t mind. I’m just not sure! X

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7 minutes ago, Curiouslouisa01 said:

Hi Shazza. Thanks for the reply. I’ve sort of mentioned to him that I find 2 women quite a turn on before so I think he has an idea, may be that he wouldn’t mind. I’m just not sure! X

It's hard to start with not knowing how he'll take it. I told mine after struggling with it for a few years and he said he already knew!!

Men are simple creatures but not stupid. They need to know what we are thinking and what makes us happy. Otherwise they think up all sorts of strange things 9n their own. Mine just thought I'd gone off him but once I let it out who i really was its done wonders for us as a couple. Especially being able to both enjoy admiring women lol

Do you have a good line of communication between you? Can you talk openly about things?

 

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1 minute ago, shazza21 said:

It's hard to start with not knowing how he'll take it. I told mine after struggling with it for a few years and he said he already knew!!

Men are simple creatures but not stupid. They need to know what we are thinking and what makes us happy. Otherwise they think up all sorts of strange things 9n their own. Mine just thought I'd gone off him but once I let it out who i really was its done wonders for us as a couple. Especially being able to both enjoy admiring women lol

Do you have a good line of communication between you? Can you talk openly about things?

 

Yes he’s great. I hope he doesn’t see it as a threat as to be honest it’s such a difference experience with a woman! It’s not even comparable so it didn’t affect my sex life with him. 

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Just now, Curiouslouisa01 said:

Yes he’s great. I hope he doesn’t see it as a threat as to be honest it’s such a difference experience with a woman! It’s not even comparable so it didn’t affect my sex life with him. 

Then you are lucky. A lot of women on here can not talk to their partners and will probably never get to experience a woman.

So your experience was while you were married I'm guessing and he doesn't know? Do you now want to be able to have a relationship with a woman as well as him and not hide it now? Or just a woman on the side that he doesn't know about?

I think at first all men see it as a threat but not as much as another man. They feel that they are not enough but once they are reasured that they are in the male department most of them can understand that they can not offer what a woman can.

I'd love to experience being with a woman but just being able to be myself and not have to hide my bi side is great ;)

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2 minutes ago, shazza21 said:

Then you are lucky. A lot of women on here can not talk to their partners and will probably never get to experience a woman.

So your experience was while you were married I'm guessing and he doesn't know? Do you now want to be able to have a relationship with a woman as well as him and not hide it now? Or just a woman on the side that he doesn't know about?

I think at first all men see it as a threat but not as much as another man. They feel that they are not enough but once they are reasured that they are in the male department most of them can understand that they can not offer what a woman can.

I'd love to experience being with a woman but just being able to be myself and not have to hide my bi side is great ;)

Yes I’d like a friends with benefits type relationship with a woman really. Preferably in the same situation as me. I was concerned the fantasy would be a lot better than the reality but it wasn’t! ;)

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4 minutes ago, Curiouslouisa01 said:

Yes I’d like a friends with benefits type relationship with a woman really. Preferably in the same situation as me. I was concerned the fantasy would be a lot better than the reality but it wasn’t! ;)

Lucky you!! I can't wait for the fantasy to become reality if it's that good.

Many women in committed relationships would like to find a woman in the same situation as them to have a FWB type of relationship. Me included so I hope, like me you will find what you are looking for. It's not impossible but it's not easy either when you appear to the world to be straight and with a man 

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2 hours ago, Curiouslouisa01 said:

Hi everyone. I’m 45 and happily Married and have been for 22 years but I am very bicurious or maybe bisexual as I’ve had one experience. It was amazing and I really want to do it again. Any others in same situation where hubby doesn’t know how you feel?  Don’t tell me to discuss it with him as I’m really not sure how he’d take it and I wouldn’t want him involved anyway. Just need this for me x

Hi I'm in a similar situation and to be honest I just couldn't tell mine. Everyone has different situations obviously but you shouldn't ever feel like you're being shunned at all or feel bad at all if you decide not to tell him, mine isn't homophobic, I just wouldn't want to tell him. I've too had a few experiences with women, mainly before I was married, I had a 3 year relationship and a few dates/encounters etc but I'd been too much of a coward to admit to anyone or even myself ...  

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2 minutes ago, Violetta said:

Hi I'm in a similar situation and to be honest I just couldn't tell mine. Everyone has different situations obviously but you shouldn't ever feel like you're being shunned at all or feel bad at all if you decide not to tell him, mine isn't homophobic, I just wouldn't want to tell him. I've too had a few experiences with women, mainly before I was married, I had a 3 year relationship and a few dates/encounters etc but I'd been too much of a coward to admit to anyone or even myself ...  

Yes me too. I don’t want to “label” myself. I’m attracted to a certain type of woman. Feminine, curvy etc, a bit like myself really and I adore boobs!  I just want a friends with benefits situation. I don’t want to “be” with a woman as such x

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Hey Curiouslouisa01,

I have met a few women in similar situation as you are right now.. I was kind of in well a 'relationship' that i thought was casual but she ended up having feelings for me and it was super complicated. I hope that you find the right woman to experience it again and not get tangled up with feelings.. that stuff is hard. 

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Sometimes keeping it to yourself is the best option so don’t feel guilty if that’s what you need to do. A lot of women here have this just for them, and others choose to be honest with their husbands and find they’re quite supportive. And then others, like myself, come clean, and all it does is make the relationship worst, so beware of that. 

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3 minutes ago, Cute&Curious said:

Sometimes keeping it to yourself is the best option so don’t feel guilty if that’s what you need to do. A lot of women here have this just for them, and others choose to be honest with their husbands and find they’re quite supportive. And then others, like myself, come clean, and all it does is make the relationship worst, so beware of that. 

Thankyou. I think I’d rather keep it myself. I would never go with another man. This just seems different somehow. Well that’s what I tell myself!! 

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This is just so nice to be blue to discuss it! I haven’t discussed it with anyone! You start to think you’re a bit of a freak! X

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Just now, Curiouslouisa01 said:

This is just so nice to be blue to discuss it! I haven’t discussed it with anyone! You start to think you’re a bit of a freak! X

*able to discuss it I meant!

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My husband and I have talked about it quite a bit. I agree, it’s fun to eye up women together! lol

I hope to someday find out if my fantasies are as good as the real thing, and my husband has said if the opportunity presents itself he would be fine with me taking it. If it grew into a relationship, he would want to talk about it before any more happened. 

I think, because we have talked about it so much already, he knows this has nothing to do with being unhappy with him. He understands that there is something a woman could give me that he just can’t. 

Above all else, I always encourage a lot of communication. Not just about this, but about everything. I don’t believe there is such a thing as too much. You would be surprised what might come out, and some people find they’re not as happy together as they thought. 

It’s not always easy, but you have to be true to yourself!

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2 minutes ago, Curiouslouisa01 said:

*able to discuss it I meant!

You are not a freak. You just like women like we all do lol

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4 minutes ago, AnotherNewbie said:

My husband and I have talked about it quite a bit. I agree, it’s fun to eye up women together! lol

I hope to someday find out if my fantasies are as good as the real thing, and my husband has said if the opportunity presents itself he would be fine with me taking it. If it grew into a relationship, he would want to talk about it before any more happened. 

I think, because we have talked about it so much already, he knows this has nothing to do with being unhappy with him. He understands that there is something a woman could give me that he just can’t. 

Above all else, I always encourage a lot of communication. Not just about this, but about everything. I don’t believe there is such a thing as too much. You would be surprised what might come out, and some people find they’re not as happy together as they thought. 

It’s not always easy, but you have to be true to yourself!

Totally agree. Just keep talking 

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3 minutes ago, AnotherNewbie said:

My husband and I have talked about it quite a bit. I agree, it’s fun to eye up women together! lol

I hope to someday find out if my fantasies are as good as the real thing, and my husband has said if the opportunity presents itself he would be fine with me taking it. If it grew into a relationship, he would want to talk about it before any more happened. 

I think, because we have talked about it so much already, he knows this has nothing to do with being unhappy with him. He understands that there is something a woman could give me that he just can’t. 

Above all else, I always encourage a lot of communication. Not just about this, but about everything. I don’t believe there is such a thing as too much. You would be surprised what might come out, and some people find they’re not as happy together as they thought. 

It’s not always easy, but you have to be true to yourself!

Is he wanting to be involved though? As that’s not something I would want. I just want one to one with a woman. I definitely wouldn’t want my husband involved or watching. 

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2 minutes ago, shazza21 said:

You are not a freak. You just like women like we all do lol

Haha. I realise that now. It’s more common than I thought! x

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My husband doesn't know and I don't think I'll ever tell him. I know I'll never tell him. To be honest not only him but no one in my environment knows 

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1 minute ago, kairi said:

My husband doesn't know and I don't think I'll ever tell him. I know I'll never tell him. To be honest not only him but no one in my environment knows 

Mine neither. That’s why it’s lovely to chat on here! X

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1 minute ago, Curiouslouisa01 said:

Is he wanting to be involved though? As that’s not something I would want. I just want one to one with a woman. I definitely wouldn’t want my husband involved or watching. 

Nope. He understands this is just for me. He asked if having him there was something I would want, and I told him no right away. I wanted to be sure he didn’t have any false expectations. He was actually relieved lol. He said he wouldn’t want to be there anyway, but would be willing to try if I really wanted it. 

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Not everyone can handle knowing, believe me I have experienced it. Sometimes it's good to keep things to yourself  only. 

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Just now, AnotherNewbie said:

Nope. He understands this is just for me. He asked if having him there was something I would want, and I told him no right away. I wanted to be sure he didn’t have any false expectations. He was actually relieved lol. He said he wouldn’t want to be there anyway, but would be willing to try if I really wanted it. 

That’s good. I joined a few sites but everyone seems to want their man involved! 

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