louloulou

New Girlfriend

11 posts in this topic

I've found a lady who actually understands me. She is decent and loves me and I do with her. We have no secrets from each other and we are true to our word with one another. She's taken the big step of introducing me to her mum and brother. She's never done this before. We've both come from rubbish situations where we are rebuilding ourselves after difficult previous relationships. We are now doing this together. It's early days but all the signs are good for us both. Here's hoping this continues as I've been burned badly before with a woman and it almost destroyed me. For the first time in a long time I feel positive again for the future. Hope it continues.

 

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Congrats! It's awesome when you finally meet some who just 'gets' you like that :drinks:

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Thanks. It is. She involves me in her life. I look after her and she looks after me. Who knew you could have that lol

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That sounds so healthy! I know that's not always the adjective we use for our fantasies of relationships, but it's of great importance. You being the first partner she introduced to her family is a big deal. Both having hurt in the background sometimes gets interpreted as a red flag but I think it can be really beneficial if both are aware. You can approach each other with more compassion and empathy, viewing the issues as past events rather than defining characteristics.

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It's small steps together. She tells me everything. It is healthy together. Hurt does gets misinterpreted but it's a perfectly normal reaction to some situations and people. It's not a red flag it shows you are a human with emotions. They are past events which have changed us in some way. We accept who each other is now and we build from there. 

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Congrats @louloulou sounds like a wonderful beginning! Everyone comes with a bit of baggage. A friend recently told me that when you find the right partner, it's kind of like you carry each other's baggage, only the loads become so, so much lighter to hold. 

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There is baggage, I will help carry her if she wants it but she's a strong lady who has fought really hard in life to get where she is now. My partner includes me and trusts me. I've keys to her flat, we've connected well from the beginning.

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Isn’t that the most wonderful feeling?  I have that, now, too, and it’s so nice not having the drama and stress and questioning so much that’s come from past relationships.  When you can turn toward one another to lean on each other instead of away from each other, that really helps!!  Even better when you can both hear the other’s criticisms or issues productively and find common ground together when you disagree.  I hope you continue on this path!!

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On 1/24/2018 at 0:22 AM, louloulou said:

Thanks. It is. She involves me in her life. I look after her and she looks after me. Who knew you could have that lol

It's amazing when both people are putting in the effort.  Congrats <3

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Sounds wonderful I wish you both the best and many happy years..

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On 25/01/2018 at 8:59 PM, BiTriMama said:

Isn’t that the most wonderful feeling?  I have that, now, too, and it’s so nice not having the drama and stress and questioning so much that’s come from past relationships.  When you can turn toward one another to lean on each other instead of away from each other, that really helps!!  Even better when you can both hear the other’s criticisms or issues productively and find common ground together when you disagree.  I hope you continue on this path!!

It is the most wonderful feeling. She reveals things as we go along and I take it in my stride. I know she has other responsibilities, I understand. But we still have that special time together. We want it together. We have separate interests which is healthy and joint ones. I'm pleased you've also found what you were looking for. It's hard to find. Here's to both our happy futures with our partners.

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