Wifeandmother

I don't want people to know.

39 posts in this topic

Woop woop! And it's ok @shazza21...i wont hold it against you ;)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎2‎/‎10‎/‎2018 at 1:38 PM, JustaMom said:

I understand this 100%. I am a wife and mother, and I do not want anyone to know. I have tried to keep these feelings inside and hidden for many years now, but lately I just can not. So like I always do I came out and told my husband about how I feel and what I think when we were not at our best. I don’t know why I always do that but it’s me. How did everyone here finger the guts enough to admit to themselves and their spouses and then find this site that they at least thought about being with another women? I feel so alone, and am very confused.

So many of these posts sound just like my situation. I'm so glad I found this site. My husband does know and is open to me exploring this side of me but we are both so scared what that will open up. 

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, MarriedBi said:

So many of these posts sound just like my situation. I'm so glad I found this site. My husband does know and is open to me exploring this side of me but we are both so scared what that will open up. 

It opened up a hell of a lot for me! We talked over each “problem” as it arose. I had times where I had to take a step back and ground myself a little! It’s about keeping the balance of emotions in check.. which can be easier said than done!! 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Twiceifilikeit said:

It opened up a hell of a lot for me! We talked over each “problem” as it arose. I had times where I had to take a step back and ground myself a little! It’s about keeping the balance of emotions in check.. which can be easier said than done!! 

Did you do this by yourselves or go to a therapist? We discussed going to marriage counseling together while we navigate this path. He loves me so much and I just feel so bad but before I told him I was being very self destructive. I was an alcoholic and semi suicidal (even though I'd never go there because of my boys). Even though I wish I wasn't putting him through this I am glad I told him because I am already a happier, healthier, better person, and most importantly I'm a better mom now. And honestly I'm a better wife too

Edited by MarriedBi
misspelling
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
36 minutes ago, MarriedBi said:

Did you do this by yourselves or go to a therapist? We discussed going to marriage counseling together while we navigate this path. He loves me so much and I just feel so bad but before I told him I was being very self destructive. I was an alcoholic and semi suicidal (even though I'd never go there because of my boys). Even though I wish I wasn't putting him through this I am glad I told him because I am already a happier, healthier, better person, and most importantly I'm a better mom now. And honestly I'm a better wife too

We did it ourselves, hours and hours of talking. To be honest, the talking never ends. It’s the only way to keep things healthy! It’s a huge thing to keep to yourself, it’s part of you and makes up who you are. It’s no wonder you feel better for sharing it with him. I’m sure he sees the difference it has made to you! Don’t feel bad.. feel lucky that you have a husband you can talk to :rolleyes:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's the first rule we set. We have to be honest with each other and not lie to just avoid hurting feelings. Which is still a struggle sometimes. My husband actually lied to me yesterday and then later told the truth. I haven't always been a very confident woman so he instinctually will tell me small lies. We were discussing if we get turned on during movies and he said he didn't by other women. Which he said later wasn't true. We both have agreed we need to proceed with caution. Although he did give me "permission" to kiss women in front of him. He said behind his back or not telling him he would consider cheating.  

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, MarriedBi said:

So many of these posts sound just like my situation. I'm so glad I found this site. My husband does know and is open to me exploring this side of me but we are both so scared what that will open up. 

This is our fear also...but i am hoping i can get enough confidence to start the conversation. I know communication is the key, but i am quite scared to open "Pandoras Box" as it were...that and i have no idea how to start the conversation!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, yorkshiregirl said:

This is our fear also...but i am hoping i can get enough confidence to start the conversation. I know communication is the key, but i am quite scared to open "Pandoras Box" as it were...that and i have no idea how to start the conversation!

I think we are all scared of what might happen but I know once pandoras box is open it will be really hard to close it again if things go wrong

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually asked him yesterday if he wishes he could put this secret back in the box and he said yes kind of but he can see I'm already happier so he's glad I told him. I hope we are taking the right steps for me to feel more complete and for him not to get hurt.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, MarriedBi said:

I actually asked him yesterday if he wishes he could put this secret back in the box and he said yes kind of but he can see I'm already happier so he's glad I told him. I hope we are taking the right steps for me to feel more complete and for him not to get hurt.

Just keep talking and being honest with each other. There will be times when he seems ok with it and then other times when he will freak out and get insecure. Its a lot for men to take on board the fact that their woman want to sleep with another woman and without them. It dents their ego and their manhood. They want to satisfy us sexually and when you tell them you want a woman as well all they think is OMG my dick isnt enough!! But for most of us it is being with a woman has nothing to do with them not being enough. My husband's dick is all the dick i want and is definitely enough for me. I just want a pussy to play with. Which is just something he can't give me!!

Reassurance that you love him and this isnt about replacing him with a woman and hopefully the two of you will get there together

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, yorkshiregirl said:

This is our fear also...but i am hoping i can get enough confidence to start the conversation. I know communication is the key, but i am quite scared to open "Pandoras Box" as it were...that and i have no idea how to start the conversation!

I started it in the bedroom! Planting my own seeds if you know what I mean! ;) 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
30 minutes ago, shazza21 said:

Just keep talking and being honest with each other. There will be times when he seems ok with it and then other times when he will freak out and get insecure. Its a lot for men to take on board the fact that their woman want to sleep with another woman and without them. It dents their ego and their manhood. They want to satisfy us sexually and when you tell them you want a woman as well all they think is OMG my dick isnt enough!! But for most of us it is being with a woman has nothing to do with them not being enough. My husband's dick is all the dick i want and is definitely enough for me. I just want a pussy to play with. Which is just something he can't give me!!

Reassurance that you love him and this isnt about replacing him with a woman and hopefully the two of you will get there together

We've actually had that convo yesterday. Luckily our sex life since I've told him a couple years ago is better than it ever has been so I think that will help. That's also probably because I'm not drunk every night also. 

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, MarriedBi said:

We've actually had that convo yesterday. Luckily our sex life since I've told him a couple years ago is better than it ever has been so I think that will help. That's also probably because I'm not drunk every night also. 

Good for you.. Yes it certainly helped our sex life its never been so good.

Keep going with things sounds like you are definitely heading in a good direction

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband knows and is ok with things.  We just have to keep things between us and not let anyone else know except a few friends.  He has said that if I ever decided to tell my family that I was bi or had a gf that I was on my own.  So that is how it is for us.  I know most of my family wouldn't accept things as they are very conservative.  I'm excited to move next month from this small town and make new friends. 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now