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ExploringLife

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Hello I stumbled on this site whilst looking up coming out as bisexual online...as I have recently done just that! It does feel like a relief in many ways, I am 25 now but I've known it since I was about 22 which is the same time I split with a long term boyfriend. 

It feels exciting and scary at the same time, I've been with girls before but really only gone as far as kissing etc, so not really sure where I stand with doing more but I know I'd like to. 

Nice to meet everyone here and feels really good to be able to share my feelings, even though I've told my friends, sister and mum, I feel like they are probably thinking it's a phase or something.

 

 

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Hello! Good for you that you've already come out the first time. In my experience it's taking more than once for family to believe me, although friends are willing to take it at face value. Did realizing your bisexuality contribute to the split with your boyfriend?

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Welcome to the site!  If you haven’t already, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to see the site rules and other helpful posts.

It’s great that you’ve started coming out!  That’s awesome!!  It’ll make it easier to date women, too.  You might consider referring people to PFLAG if they think this is a phase. 

I will say that my bisexuality was a long phase- on the way to gaytown.  And it takes awhile to feel accepted as such, especially if you’ve grown up in a homophobic environment.  Often they also don’t realize that if you happen to be dating a guy, that doesn’t mean you’re not bi anymore, this is just who you’re dating. You do you, and keep being honest about who you are.  They’ll figure it out eventually.

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Thank you both! :)

It did indeed contribute to the break up as I was ashamedly 'experimenting' with girls whilst I was still with him although it was in wreck and ruin by that stage...

Fortunately I wasn't really raised in a homophobic family although I was bought up in a small town which definitely had no diversity whatsoever, with many holding racist and bigoted views. Needless to say I hightailed it out of there straight to London, and now I've ended up in sunny Brighton :)

I'm starting to feel happier, although can't help but feel a sense of anger towards society and attitudes towards LGBT people. The idea that other people find it disgusting etc enrages me! But I am also starting to learn that the less you care about what others think, ultimately the happier you are!

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Welcome to the site. I found this site kind of like you after I was with a woman and she kissed me. I told my family as well and my advice to you would be to just wait until you are actually in a relationship with a woman for them to see that you are bi. My family thought the same thing with me until they saw me in my relationship with netty. We've been together over three years and we met on this site. This is a great place to get support and learn more about yourself. Enjoy.

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Hey that's great that you met here :) I agree, I almost feel a fraud as I've never been in a relationship with a woman before. But I can't deny feelings that have been there for a good few years so will just see what happens! 

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6 hours ago, ExploringLife said:

Hey that's great that you met here :) I agree, I almost feel a fraud as I've never been in a relationship with a woman before. But I can't deny feelings that have been there for a good few years so will just see what happens! 

It's not a matter of being a fraud, it's just the fact that many people seem to have a higher "burden of proof" for bisexuality. It's not fair and I think it's frankly intrusive anybody to prove their identity, but the fact is we live in a heteronormative society. People may give you less of a hard time if you can point to a history of dating men and women. What you do with that information is entirely up to you.

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21 hours ago, ExploringLife said:

Thank you both! :)

It did indeed contribute to the break up as I was ashamedly 'experimenting' with girls whilst I was still with him although it was in wreck and ruin by that stage...

Fortunately I wasn't really raised in a homophobic family although I was bought up in a small town which definitely had no diversity whatsoever, with many holding racist and bigoted views. Needless to say I hightailed it out of there straight to London, and now I've ended up in sunny Brighton :)

I'm starting to feel happier, although can't help but feel a sense of anger towards society and attitudes towards LGBT people. The idea that other people find it disgusting etc enrages me! But I am also starting to learn that the less you care about what others think, ultimately the happier you are!

I'm glad you're somewhere like Brighton, where there's a good strong community of LGBT people!  Be aware that some gay women won't date bisexual women (there are threads on here about that).  Good luck with your experimenting!  

It can take some time to let go of that anger toward people who have those bigoted views, but eventually it hits a point where it's almost funny because it's SO old-school.  But it does still hurt.  Both my GF and I have been out for a long time, and we live somewhere where it's pretty safe to be out (about an hour north of San Francisco), and we both have those moments that flash where we feel a bit insecure that someone's watching us and judging, but ultimately we don't let that stop us from living our lives like any other couple.  We took the kids (we're both single moms) to the San Francisco Zoo yesterday, and she stopped and kissed me at one point, and I gasped and joked about the new lesbian display at the SF Zoo (us).  We just make a joke of it at this point.  "There are CHILDREN watching!"  That sort of thing.  And you're right, damn if I am going to let any gawkers get in the way of our happiness!

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1 minute ago, BiTriMama said:

I'm glad you're somewhere like Brighton, where there's a good strong community of LGBT people!  Be aware that some gay women won't date bisexual women (there are threads on here about that).  Good luck with your experimenting!  

It can take some time to let go of that anger toward people who have those bigoted views, but eventually it hits a point where it's almost funny because it's SO old-school.  But it does still hurt.  Both my GF and I have been out for a long time, and we live somewhere where it's pretty safe to be out (about an hour north of San Francisco), and we both have those moments that flash where we feel a bit insecure that someone's watching us and judging, but ultimately we don't let that stop us from living our lives like any other couple.  We took the kids (we're both single moms) to the San Francisco Zoo yesterday, and she stopped and kissed me at one point, and I gasped and joked about the new lesbian display at the SF Zoo (us).  We just make a joke of it at this point.  "There are CHILDREN watching!"  That sort of thing.  And you're right, damn if I am going to let any gawkers get in the way of our happiness!

Hooray for zoo day! "Here you can see lesbians in their natural habitat: enriching their children's knowledge of the world around them, showing love for each other, and generally not giving a kangaroo rat's ass about the opinions of busybodies around them."

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2 minutes ago, ChemFem said:

Hooray for zoo day! "Here you can see lesbians in their natural habitat: enriching their children's knowledge of the world around them, showing love for each other, and generally not giving a kangaroo rat's ass about the opinions of busybodies around them."

:whistle::haha:

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Welcome!

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On 2/18/2018 at 2:13 PM, ExploringLife said:

I'm starting to feel happier, although can't help but feel a sense of anger towards society and attitudes towards LGBT people. The idea that other people find it disgusting etc enrages me! But I am also starting to learn that the less you care about what others think, ultimately the happier you are!

I've noticed that recently I feel like I get more upset with attitudes regarding LGBT since I've admitted I'm bi (or gay, still not sure which - just know I'm leaning to liking more females now then males). I've always been supportive before, but I feel like it's more personal now.

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I can definitely relate to that! Can only hope that attitudes continue to improve and also remember that if someone takes issue with it, its generally due to some insecurity of their own. 

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Welcome to the site! You'll find lots of support here. X 

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cheers, its a cool site so far, interesting topics and nice to just chat in general :) x

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