ExploringLife

First time having sex with a woman

18 posts in this topic

So basically this is freaking me out! I am talking to a woman 20 years older than me and so far so good. I want to meet her for a drink at some stage as haven't yet, and just see how it goes. Now I know I'm thinking ahead here, but i haven't actually told her I've not slept with a woman yet..although she knows I'm recently bi and not been in a relationship with a woman.

i know I have to say it at some point? I'm just worried it might be a shock.

But the idea of sex for the first time with a woman is scary and feels like being a virgin again haha, argh which is crap! 

 

:))))

Edited by ExploringLife
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Again, relax and be YOU as I said on your other thread. 

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How exciting!! I would say it’s always best to be honest and although I’ve been with a woman years ago I would feel just as nervous but you can’t help that just be your lovely self and have fun!

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It's by no means set in stone we might not even fancy each other but the conversation is definitely going well ! Yeah that's it being yourself is key :)

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Ohh good luck! Do what makes you happy and comfortable. No pressure. Let us know if you lose your Girlginity :)

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2 hours ago, ExploringLife said:

So basically this is freaking me out! I am talking to a woman 20 years older than me and so far so good. I want to meet her for a drink at some stage as haven't yet, and just see how it goes. Now I know I'm thinking ahead here, but i haven't actually told her I've not slept with a woman yet..although she knows I'm recently bi and not been in a relationship with a woman.

i know I have to say it at some point? I'm just worried it might be a shock.

But the idea of sex for the first time with a woman is scary and feels like being a virgin again haha, argh which is crap! 

 

:))))

Relax, us older girls are pretty easy going. We've had more experience in life and it tends to mellow us. I'd love to be in her position.  

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Well, chances are, you won't sleep with her on the first date.  Take it one step at a time, and don't put the cart before the horse.  There will be time to tell her that you haven't been with a woman before.  Likely, she will be understanding and patient.  If she knows you only recently started identifying as bi and haven't had a relationship with a woman, it probably won't come as a shock that you haven't fooled around with one yet, either.

What scares you about sex with a woman?

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What isn't scary about it :lol:

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On ‎03‎/‎03‎/‎2018 at 11:52 PM, Vampire said:

Relax, us older girls are pretty easy going. We've had more experience in life and it tends to mellow us. I'd love to be in her position.  

Good to know :)its all about experience to me!

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11 hours ago, ExploringLife said:

Good to know :)its all about experience to me!

Another way to look at it maybe the older woman isn't very experienced.  If she hasn't got much experience with woman, she maybe just as scared or worried as you. Because a woman is older, she may not be experienced.  In my case, I've only been with 1 woman, I'd be a bit nervous if i was with a younger woman. I would feel a bit inadequate in a way.  For me, it's not about experience, it's about enjoying being with someone. Finding your way together. Starting a journey together.

Enjoy your time together, don't worry about the experience level, life is too short to worry about freaking out. Grab the oppotunity with both hands, (pardon the pun), enjoy it. Just come back and tell us how it went. Lol. 

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yeh it went pretty well! Not sure what I was worried about. We've met up 3 times now and she was really surprised I'd not been with a woman before.

Its now just adjusting to it really, and I'm worried about the age difference a bit but have made it clear I want to take things slowly without getting serious.

Pleased its done so now just got to try and enjoy any time we spend together and see how it goes. Its hard because I'm really close to my sister and spend a lot of time with her but get the feeling she isn't very approving so I almost have to hide it. But its early dayssss

Edited by ExploringLife
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22 minutes ago, ExploringLife said:

yeh it went pretty well! Not sure what I was worried about. We've met up 3 times now and she was really surprised I'd not been with a woman before.

Its now just adjusting to it really, and I'm worried about the age difference a bit but have made it clear I want to take things slowly without getting serious.

Pleased its done so now just got to try and enjoy any time we spend together and see how it goes. Its hard because I'm really close to my sister and spend a lot of time with her but get the feeling she isn't very approving so I almost have to hide it. But its early dayssss

Can I ask both your ages? 20 years is a bit of a gap but it really depends on the people themselves. I'm 55 but young at heart. Having my kids when I was older has helped in this as my youngest wont be 19 until July. My oldest is 22 and we get on well. I get used to their music and it keeps in touch with their sayings, and the gross stories I've heard from high school. Like any relationship, it's give and take. The older person has already done some things you haven't so she needs to step back and let you do those things, (things in general), you on the other hand may need to listen as she has a little more experience. ( just generally speaking), But it can work well if both parties are prepared to communicate. I'd say go for it. Love can represent itself in many forms. 

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25 and 45 so it is a big gap and will probably end up getting in the way *sigh* but enjoying having a bit of fun and not thinkin about anything else right now! We certainly aren't exclusive

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9 minutes ago, ExploringLife said:

25 and 45 so it is a big gap and will probably end up getting in the way *sigh* but enjoying having a bit of fun and not thinkin about anything else right now! We certainly aren't exclusive

Definitely enjoy it. Life is to be lived.  

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couldn't agree more!! thank you :)

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@ExploringLife - I'm 56 and, like Vampire, young at heart, and I totally agree with her that life is to be lived, and the success of a relationship in which there is an age disparity really just depends on the two people involved. Plus, IMO age disparities are very sexy... When I was your age I was into older women, and now that I'm older, well...let's just say I have an appreciation of younger women...

Just relax and enjoy your time with your new lover!  :)

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When I first started experimenting and exploring my sexuality I felt almost exactly the same so am pleased you've pushed on and are enjoying it.

When I was a similar age (23) I had my first proper relationship with another woman and the age gap was even larger. She was 59. I've always enjoyed the company of much older men and women but that gap was large. It ended well and the gap never was a problem because we just enjoyed each other's company. The sex was incredible as well.

Hope you continue to enjoy it :)

 

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Thanks, without going into too much detail, the sex is pretty good! Sadly she wants a bit more and is quite needy and intense whereas Ive explained I'm just up for seeing eachother at the moment and having fun. I recently lost my dad to cancer and I cant hack a relationship.

But yes, the emotional aspect aside, and being with a woman is great! Sex is so fun :D

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