Kels25

Confused

5 posts in this topic

Hey, I'm new to this website. 

Tbh I don't know where to start. I have a boyfriend we've been together for 4 years. I've felt like I've always been attracted to both sexes. But I've only been with guys. I've always wanted to try something with a girl but was too shy. Etc. I told my boyfriend that I'm attracted to guys & girls, and he seems to think it''s some sort of faze. Am I bi-curious or bisexual. Someone help please.

Edited by Kels25
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First, welcome to the site!  If you haven’t already, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to see the site rules and other helpful posts.

Next, I don’t think you have to have been with women to know you’re bisexual, but only you can make that call.  I had the same problem as you, too shy to approach women, and it was really hard to meet women as a result.  I eventually made a conscious decision to stop dating men because I wanted to focus on women.  I’ve found it’s a better match for me.  I think part of what was so scary before was that the stakes were higher.  With men, I wasn’t nearly as emotionally invested.  Relationships and sex with women are SO much more gratifying for me.

What does your boyfriend think about you exploring this “phase” while you’re together?  Would that be a possibility?  A lot of guys seem to think that bisexual means threesomes, but for most, that’s not what we want.  I’m sorry to hear he is calling it that, BTW.  It’s so invalidating!  I have dealt with that, too.

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I agree with @BiTriMama, I for sure knew when I was like 11 years old, but  totally suppressed it for years because I was taught to believe it was wrong. When I finally did do it though, it was pure validation and it was awesome. I felt totally weird about it at first, but after my initial freak out I knew I'd never want to not experience it again. 

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Hey and welcome aboard!

To add to what people are saying - don't let his "phase" argument hold any water. Being a teenager is a phase but it doesn't stop you being a mardy git for a few years. Being pregnant is a phase but a plan of just ignoring it and pretending it's not real isn't a good idea!  Some of us are bi the whole of our lives, for some people it's a phase - but if it's a phase so is whatever comes before and whatever comes after yet no-one dismisses those as phases.

And bisexual or bi-curious? Well labels are a matter of personal taste but that sounds to me like you are more certain rather than curious! As bi-certain isn't a word :D I'd say bisexual is the more appropriate one.

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