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Sol

What do you do when your getting frustrated? All want is a woman’s love

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I go through these spells when it’s all I think about. At times I can suppress the urge the need the want. At times it gets so bad it’s all I think about, dream about and fantasize about.

How will that special kiss feel like, who will she smell, her lips so soft??? 

But then I realize it’s just a dream and I am back to reality. Watching it on screen instead of experiencing it for myself. 

What do you do to ease the need????

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I usually write about it. I take out my journal and just put all the thoughts I have done when I have that need. Or I talk to someone about it. Someone that I trust that won't say anything to anyone else or judge me for it. I have a friend who's in a poly relationship with her husband and another man. She helps me when she can. She's the one that actually encouraged me to come here and try finding support. 

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@Sol

“Ease the need?” 

Hmmm, start by NOT suppressing the urges, the need. Welcome them! Acknowledge them. Don’t fight them. Believe me, we all have these spells you’re talking about. It’s perfectly normal. And what’s bad in dreaming about or fantasising about it? Or even pleasuring oneself during? UNLESS these things affect your daily activities in life that you cannot function well then you begin to worry. That! You have to seek professional help. But...You’re not, right? 

Second, don’t resent the fact that you’re not having any of these kisses, sex, or whatever. It won’t do anything good to your psyche. 

Third, be proactive. Meet new people (women) in some meetup groups. It doesn’t have to be LGBT but anything. Get out of your comfort zone. Initiate conversation with women, IRL or virtual. You never know what happens next. 

The last one can be tricky if you’re shy or introvert. But you’ve got to decide, plan it and do it. 

Lastly, nourish yourself with other good and pleasant thoughts in life. Nature always help. You don’t have to go travel to national parks or beach (it’s also good if you can) to be with nature. Go and see some flowers, the trees, the little insects in the garden. Nature is present to you, so long as you are truly present to it, too. 

Take it easy.

 

-Blue-

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Thank you for the advice Blue!  Blueberry I hope you don’t mind if I borrow it - I’m in a similar space- feeling lost is not a fun place to be ;(

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I hear ya!  It’s hard when you don’t have anyone close to you that you can talk about these things with far more satisfy the needs.  I definitely need to get out more and meet more women in real life. 

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Yup!  happens to a lot of us.  for me those thoughts and feelings come in waves but I do look forward to my fantasies, I have to say.  as for talking about these things go, I sometimes talk to my husband but as you can imagine, it is HEAVILY censored : ) so in some twisted way I feel like I am being honest with him, but it doesn't really help with the urges etc.

 

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On 07/01/2019 at 11:50 AM, Sol said:

I go through these spells when it’s all I think about. At times I can suppress the urge the need the want. At times it gets so bad it’s all I think about, dream about and fantasize about.

How will that special kiss feel like, who will she smell, her lips so soft??? 

But then I realize it’s just a dream and I am back to reality. Watching it on screen instead of experiencing it for myself. 

What do you do to ease the need????

Like others are saying i would not repress it. I would express those feelings in creative ways. This may include stories, painting, journalling and talking about it with like minded people. Connect with bi groups in your area. 

 

I can relate because i dont have anyone to explore these feelings with at the moment. So i spend the time googling female orgasms, erogenoue zones and researching things like 5 ways to make a woman melt, or 10 ways to make her knees weak or 3 ways to discover her g spot. How to find it, what positions to use to stimulate it  10 tips to use a strap on. How to stimulate the U spot, or A spot. Phone sex 101 . How to elicit squirting and female ejaculation. 

This may in some ways increase your desire and possible frustration. 

I would also explore audio porn. It can seem more personal then visual porm. Literotoc has an audio section which includes lesbian/bi women. 

 

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On 1/7/2019 at 10:46 AM, blueberry said:

@Sol

“Ease the need?” 

Hmmm, start by NOT suppressing the urges, the need. Welcome them! Acknowledge them. Don’t fight them. Believe me, we all have these spells you’re talking about. It’s perfectly normal. And what’s bad in dreaming about or fantasising about it? Or even pleasuring oneself during? UNLESS these things affect your daily activities in life that you cannot function well then you begin to worry. That! You have to seek professional help. But...You’re not, right? 

Second, don’t resent the fact that you’re not having any of these kisses, sex, or whatever. It won’t do anything good to your psyche. 

Third, be proactive. Meet new people (women) in some meetup groups. It doesn’t have to be LGBT but anything. Get out of your comfort zone. Initiate conversation with women, IRL or virtual. You never know what happens next. 

The last one can be tricky if you’re shy or introvert. But you’ve got to decide, plan it and do it. 

Lastly, nourish yourself with other good and pleasant thoughts in life. Nature always help. You don’t have to go travel to national parks or beach (it’s also good if you can) to be with nature. Go and see some flowers, the trees, the little insects in the garden. Nature is present to you, so long as you are truly present to it, too. 

Take it easy.

 

-Blue-

I think I am going to call you The Oracle. Your advice is just so ...brilliant.

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I'm going through this now.  So glad someone has already asked.  I'm feeling so frustrated right now.

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