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Gingermommy

Struggling in my marriage

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So i had known since i was 9 that i liked girls.  I had always fantasized about them.  I had never really kept that hidden.  I dated men and women but always preffered women.  Fast forward to my late 20's and i met my soul mate.  The only problem was that it was a he.  My family was shocked when i finally had the courage to tell them.  We really are made for each other, we have a good marriage.  We've gone trough some emotional times together and have come out stronger and closer from them.  3 kids later and 12 years together, i am finding tht i can no longer sleep, i have images of women in my head all the time.  My stress is starting to manifest physically.  I feel like im repressing myself now and I'm scared for us. 

I'm very lucky that I've been able to talk to my husband about this.  He's been nothing but understanding.  We've always had a honest relationship, but i feel terrible.  I don't really enjoy being with him physically anymore.  Its just getting worse.  I dont want leave our relationship or for it to be affected negatively.  I just dont know what to do now.

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I feel for you girl. I'll have to chime in more when I have more time and energy. I have experienced that physical manifestation of stress in many ways. It can realy wreak havoc on a person. Hang in there. Don't let yourself feel like a bad person.

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My husband is my soul mate as well...it would be a cold day in hell if i should ever leave him yet i do crave fr something more sexually and emotionally. It has come to the point lately that i have to fantasize about having sex with a woman to orgasm when we are having sex. I really feel very bad about this but what can i do? I am sure that sometimes he fantasizes about other women when we have sex too its human. He knows that i am bi and supports it cause he knows that i will never leave him however i do think that if we were to ever devorce God forbid, that i dont think i will want to be with another man again i will definately end up with a woman.

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