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I've been soooooo curious for years and I'm married he not into it but I want to do it soooooo bad the thought of making another women squirm with pleasure and talk dirty to me it totally turn me on to think about it  but I'm terrified I know it sounds dumb

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Nothing you wrote sounds dumb.  There are many women here in the same boat. There are also many woman here who started in your boat but with time, courage and advice from this network of amazing women, have had the chance to experience finally being intimate with a woman.  My advice, sort through it all mentally/emotionally, this will help you think a little clearly and help you make choices to go for it or to accept the idea as fantasy.  No wrong answer.  GL!

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What are you terrified about, @Christy1975? Your feelings? What if you fall in love with someone? What if you don't like being with a woman? What if you really like it? What if you only get confused?

There is nothing dumb at all about your post or your feelings. Many of us have been where you are. And @TBD78 is right, sorting out your feelings first will allow you to make the best choices for you. It's your life! Read the many posts here and you'll find all kinds of paths women like us have taken. This will help with your feelings. Then you can decide what's right for you. 

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Most of us always fear things we do for the first time ya know kind of like riding a bike I'm sure at one time it was a lot of what ifs ..  what if I can't balance what if I can't stop what if I wreak but you did it and the more you did the more comfortable you were with it. It's normal to be nervous But if you never try .... you deprive yourself of knowing what if.. 

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