td123

Single Girls Who Could See Themselves Happy With A Long Term Committed Gf Relationship

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As bisexuals have different relationship desires I'm just curious how many include having a serious exclusively committed long term relationship with a woman as serious possibility or desire.

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If I were single then it would be a definite possibility for me.

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That is what I most want actually. A fine woman(beautiful, clever, sexy, sparky, loving and kind) to call my own.

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I think I would be open to the possibility providing its with that special person who can bring out the best side of you. Are we all not looking for that soulmate whether female or male?

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Women are my #1. A part of me, however, is still attracted to men. And that small slither is what keeps me among the category of bisexuals. If a guy came along and swept me off my feet, i'd welcome that relationship. But a "life partner"...

Like I said: Women are my #1 :)

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I'm not single anymore... but that's because I'm now in one of these exclusive relationships with a woman. I'm happy - she gives me everything I could want from a person. Care, affection, love... I can't see myself wanting anything more than her in my life. But, then again, I identified as a bisexual that loved the person, not the gender/sex of the person before finding her. soooo... that plays a huge part in this. My needs are satisfied.. I have that person.

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Being single this last year has given me a lot of time to learn about myself and to figure out what it is that I want in my next relationship (my last was with a man). I've started to imagine what life with my next partner will look like, and I always see another woman in it.

 

I imagine coming home from work to see her, making meals together, going out for coffee, cuddling on the couch with my cat to watch a movie, going on camping trips together and making out in the tent, holding hands in the car while belting out to our favorite songs, dragging each other to the gym, meeting each other's families, moving in together, and having earth-shattering orgasms together. Even the not-so-happy times, like making up after an argument or taking care of each other when we're sick (or just having really bad cramps). I can see my whole life with this woman, but I can't see her face.

 

I hope one day I'll meet her. :wub:

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Being single this last year has given me a lot of time to learn about myself and to figure out what it is that I want in my next relationship (my last was with a man). I've started to imagine what life with my next partner will look like, and I always see another woman in it.

 

I imagine coming home from work to see her, making meals together, going out for coffee, cuddling on the couch with my cat to watch a movie, going on camping trips together and making out in the tent, holding hands in the car while belting out to our favorite songs, dragging each other to the gym, meeting each other's families, moving in together, and having earth-shattering orgasms together. Even the not-so-happy times, like making up after an argument or taking care of each other when we're sick (or just having really bad cramps). I can see my whole life with this woman, but I can't see her face.

 

I hope one day I'll meet her. :wub:

 

 

That's really sweet. I miss the gym with my ex as well as times she used to nurse me when I was sick. Those are some of the best things I miss about having a gf even if I'm not big on campin or roughing it in a tent lol. I do have tons of friends/family that spoil me rotten, but it was the little things that made it extra special with her.

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I've had one long term relationship with a girl, and yes would definitely consider it again.

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Being single this last year has given me a lot of time to learn about myself and to figure out what it is that I want in my next relationship (my last was with a man). I've started to imagine what life with my next partner will look like, and I always see another woman in it.

 

I imagine coming home from work to see her, making meals together, going out for coffee, cuddling on the couch with my cat to watch a movie, going on camping trips together and making out in the tent, holding hands in the car while belting out to our favorite songs, dragging each other to the gym, meeting each other's families, moving in together, and having earth-shattering orgasms together. Even the not-so-happy times, like making up after an argument or taking care of each other when we're sick (or just having really bad cramps). I can see my whole life with this woman, but I can't see her face.

 

I hope one day I'll meet her. :wub:

 

That is almost exactly what I want (plus travelling all around the world together!), but I don't want to be 100% exclusive. Even if I have a main partner, i don't want to be bound strictly to her, and I don't want her to be trapped with me. I want both of us to be able to be open to other partners if we desire! I guess for me, I like open relationships, but I don't usually take advantage of the freedom as long as I know I have it. :P My GF now is married but doesn't see anyone besides me, and that works for me... if she wanted to see other girls I think I would be okay with that too. I just need the honesty and openess and freedom to be able to say (for either of us), "hey, I really like this girl. I'm going to try to get to know her better."

 

And if we both end up dating an awesomely wonderful muscular black computer genius or something, that's fine by me, honestly. Lol.

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That is almost exactly what I want (plus travelling all around the world together!), but I don't want to be 100% exclusive. Even if I have a main partner, i don't want to be bound strictly to her, and I don't want her to be trapped with me. I want both of us to be able to be open to other partners if we desire! I guess for me, I like open relationships, but I don't usually take advantage of the freedom as long as I know I have it. :P My GF now is married but doesn't see anyone besides me, and that works for me... if she wanted to see other girls I think I would be okay with that too. I just need the honesty and openess and freedom to be able to say (for either of us), "hey, I really like this girl. I'm going to try to get to know her better."

 

And if we both end up dating an awesomely wonderful muscular black computer genius or something, that's fine by me, honestly. Lol.

 

 

I want an exclusive relationship so I don't see it as a trap. I however would feel trapped in a relationship where my partner felt being with me & faithful to me was anything less then her sole desire as I hate having anything less then 100% of the passion & attention I give. However we all have different wants this thread was kinda looking for others who do feel they want an exclusive relationship as not every bisexual is poly or desiring of a gf on the side.

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Good question, td123.

 

I would LOVE to have a committed, long term, exclusive partnership with a woman. Two things stop me:

 

1. My relationship with my boyfriend (See below).

2. My unwillingness to be "out" to my family, which I feel will keep away any potentially interested women who disdain "the closet."

 

 

 

Being single this last year has given me a lot of time to learn about myself and to figure out what it is that I want in my next relationship (my last was with a man). I've started to imagine what life with my next partner will look like, and I always see another woman in it.

 

I imagine coming home from work to see her, making meals together, going out for coffee, cuddling on the couch with my cat to watch a movie, going on camping trips together and making out in the tent, holding hands in the car while belting out to our favorite songs, dragging each other to the gym, meeting each other's families, moving in together, and having earth-shattering orgasms together. Even the not-so-happy times, like making up after an argument or taking care of each other when we're sick (or just having really bad cramps). I can see my whole life with this woman, but I can't see her face.

 

I hope one day I'll meet her. :wub:

 

This was awesome; great description.

 

I already have all of these things--with the very notable exception of sexual attraction---with my male partner. Indeed, My boyfriend is the best "nurse" and caretaker ever--so gentle and nurturing, almost like a mother.

 

But I want the "earth shattering orgasm" part of a relationship, too, and I can't have that with him!

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Oops--I see the question was addressed only to single women, but my answer still stays the same.

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Good question, td123.

 

I would LOVE to have a committed, long term, exclusive partnership with a woman. Two things stop me:

 

1. My relationship with my boyfriend (See below).

2. My unwillingness to be "out" to my family, which I feel will keep away any potentially interested women who disdain "the closet."

 

 

 

 

 

This was awesome; great description.

 

I already have all of these things--with the very notable exception of sexual attraction---with my male partner. Indeed, My boyfriend is the best "nurse" and caretaker ever--so gentle and nurturing, almost like a mother.

 

But I want the "earth shattering orgasm" part of a relationship, too, and I can't have that with him!

 

 

 

Hetero privilege sadly does factor out in many cases where a woman would equally be attracted to both sexes. I dated one woman who felt she was infact gay & madly in love with me, but needed to wear the ring of a man she married (and her sons father) to keep her family happy which was more important to her then her happiness. I didn't mind the closet not that being with me gave her much option of that as I'm visibly gay & so she would of had to hide me from meeting her family, but still to hide me from her son would have been impossible & unfortunately raising him dating me an openly les strippa just wouldn't make much of a case in family court or to her work image or her own family. Anyhow I understood her choice to stop seeing me, but not being with the person you want that you love & loves you becuz you don't fit the sex or sexuality that she is presumed to be with just sucks & make you hate the sexism of the world.

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Hetero privilege sadly does factor out in many cases where a woman would equally be attracted to both sexes. I dated one woman who felt she was infact gay & madly in love with me, but needed to wear the ring of a man she married (and her sons father) to keep her family happy which was more important to her then her happiness. I didn't mind the closet not that being with me gave her much option of that as I'm visibly gay & so she would of had to hide me from meeting her family, but still to hide me from her son would have been impossible & unfortunately raising him dating me an openly les strippa just wouldn't make much of a case in family court or to her work image or her own family. Anyhow I understood her choice to stop seeing me, but not being with the person you want that you love & loves you becuz you don't fit the sex or sexuality that she is presumed to be with just sucks & make you hate the sexism of the world.

 

I'm sorry to hear about the path your relationship took; thanks for sharing that.

 

I definitely agree that majority members of any kind can be reluctant and fearful of giving up their ____ [fill in the blank] privilege, in this case Hetero Priv. I have seen this many times with other types of privilege--Male Priv, Ethnic Majority Priv, Religious Priv, etc. I think this is human nature.

 

In my case, it's not necessarily privilege within society that I'm afraid to give up. I have been a minority in almost every other way my whole life, so I'm not attached to majority privilege per se; being a minority is the defining theme of my life and, in a strange way, what I'm most comfortable with. My refusal to be out to my parents is almost solely due to not wanting to cause them devastation and suffering.

 

But no matter the reason why someone chooses the closet, the upshot is the same--it can get in the way of a potentially wonderful relationship.

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I'm sorry to hear about the path your relationship took; thanks for sharing that.

 

I definitely agree that majority members of any kind can be reluctant and fearful of giving up their ____ [fill in the blank] privilege, in this case Hetero Priv. I have seen this many times with other types of privilege--Male Priv, Ethnic Majority Priv, Religious Priv, etc. I think this is human nature.

 

In my case, it's not necessarily privilege within society that I'm afraid to give up. I have been a minority in almost every other way my whole life, so I'm not attached to majority privilege per se; being a minority is the defining theme of my life and, in a strange way, what I'm most comfortable with. My refusal to be out to my parents is almost solely due to not wanting to cause them devastation and suffering.

 

But no matter the reason why someone chooses the closet, the upshot is the same--it can get in the way of a potentially wonderful relationship.

 

 

Their devastation & suffering due to your sexuality is a product of homo/biphobia & by clinging to hetero privilege you are only adding on to the fear they have as you being happy with a wonderful woman honestly would not cause them any harm. Trust me my folks were the biggest homophobes who I felt would use all their love for me & forever feel ashamed of me (since I heard my father says many times fags should die of aids) . Anyhow it took years of painful & needless family hell for them to get to the point where they are happy if I meet the right woman as they do love me & want my happiness, but if I kept hiding my whole life to save them suffering & the disappointment of crushing their hetero dreams well all i would of done was fear they didn't really love me enough to accept me for who I really am & that fear & hate would always have been there between us. I understand as my grandparents still don't get my sexuality & I allow them their total denial as I don't have those years left with them where I can afford going thur that with them & yes I do fear giving them a heart attack over it, but it doesn't stop me from living my life to keep that the way it is with them anymore then it would hurt your family if they weren't told or in most cases if you did. Anyhow sorry to hear they would not be accepting & supportive of you being with whoever would make you happy. I feel that should be every parents 1st desire when it comes down to who their child is with that & that they are treated well by that person.

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As bisexuals have different relationship desires I'm just curious how many include having a serious exclusively committed long term relationship with a woman as serious possibility or desire.

 

 

Why do you assume that bisexuals in particular have "different relationship desires"? Some do, some don't, just as do other orientations. There are a simply vast number of young heterosexuals who are just looking for sex, for example. Doesn't mean they all are!

 

The entire question tends to imply that bisexuals don't take relationships seriously and are not monogamous, when in fact, most do and are.

 

I have never seen any evidence to suggest that there is a difference between single bisexuals and any other orientation. Plenty of lesbians are married to men. I think a strong driving force within women is the desire to have a family. Of course that's just one, there are many.

 

 

xxx

Edited by smudge
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I'm not single anymore... but that's because I'm now in one of these exclusive relationships with a woman. I'm happy - she gives me everything I could want from a person. Care, affection, love... I can't see myself wanting anything more than her in my life. But, then again, I identified as a bisexual that loved the person, not the gender/sex of the person before finding her. soooo... that plays a huge part in this. My needs are satisfied.. I have that person.

 

Sounds to me like you could be pansexual.

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Their devastation & suffering due to your sexuality is a product of homo/biphobia & by clinging to hetero privilege you are only adding on to the fear they have as you being happy with a wonderful woman honestly would not cause them any harm. Trust me my folks were the biggest homophobes who I felt would use all their love for me & forever feel ashamed of me (since I heard my father says many times fags should die of aids) . Anyhow it took years of painful & needless family hell for them to get to the point where they are happy if I meet the right woman as they do love me & want my happiness, but if I kept hiding my whole life to save them suffering & the disappointment of crushing their hetero dreams well all i would of done was fear they didn't really love me enough to accept me for who I really am & that fear & hate would always have been there between us. I understand as my grandparents still don't get my sexuality & I allow them their total denial as I don't have those years left with them where I can afford going thur that with them & yes I do fear giving them a heart attack over it, but it doesn't stop me from living my life to keep that the way it is with them anymore then it would hurt your family if they weren't told or in most cases if you did. Anyhow sorry to hear they would not be accepting & supportive of you being with whoever would make you happy. I feel that should be every parents 1st desire when it comes down to who their child is with that & that they are treated well by that person.

 

I'm not in the closet because of homophobia in my family. I have a cousin and a nephew who are both openly gay and accepted by the family. The problem I see them having is me being married and having sex with someone else (even a female)...I know your question was meant for single girls. It's just that I love my husband and would never want to leave him.

 

but if something ever happened to him...? Who knows? I could see myself with another woman before I could ever see myself with another man.

Edited by alegrias221
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I'm not in the closet because of homophobia in my family. I have a cousin and a nephew who are both openly gay and accepted by the family. The problem I see them having is me being married and having sex with someone else (even a female)...I know your question was meant for single girls. It's just that I love my husband and would never want to leave him.

 

but if something ever happened to him...? Who knows? I could see myself with another woman before I could ever see myself with another man.

 

 

That cool yr happy taken, but why would your family then be a factor if you were single? I don't get how it would hurt them any as you implied sorry

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Why do you assume that bisexuals in particular have "different relationship desires"? Some do, some don't, just as do other orientations. There are a simply vast number of young heterosexuals who are just looking for sex, for example. Doesn't mean they all are!

 

The entire question tends to imply that bisexuals don't take relationships seriously and are not monogamous, when in fact, most do and are.

 

I have never seen any evidence to suggest that there is a difference between single bisexuals and any other orientation. Plenty of lesbians are married to men. I think a strong driving force within women is the desire to have a family. Of course that's just one, there are many.

 

 

xxx

 

This is not a debate on if bis are more poly (check any lifestyles or swingers sites & profiles if you don't feel they are the majority among women there--some not even having the option for lesbian as they are such a minority among them ) I didn't say they are here in this topic (though you have to admit many are poly as threads on here focus a lot on hubby allowing girl on the side which is not what I want to be to any1--which you will not find many lesbian sites where married/commited to eachother lesbian women are allowing outside affairs in such a manner if you want to compare ratios however I don't care I'm just not so interested in that being more then fun for me when single) I'm simply wanting to talk to single bis would feel the same about relatibtw onships with women thank you or is that not a topic that can be talked about here. All studies so far show lesbian women tend to be serial monogamist on average which I do believe there are more lesbian iding women who are looking & open to an exclusive relationship with another woman. Just the same as I would believe more str8 women then bi women are looking to have a committed relationship to a man persay.

 

 

Still I am not interested in odds so let's not thread jack this conversation there as I think it's nice if we have a conversation about being open to committed relationship with women for single girls on here who have that possible desire.

 

PS women can have children & still keep a committed relationship to another woman it's call sperm bank or asking a guy to jeeze in a cup. That doesn't require any woman who wants children to have sex with a man I don't get why you brought it up. Lesbians have families all the time not just when married to a man.

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That cool yr happy taken, but why would your family then be a factor if you were single? I don't get how it would hurt them any as you implied sorry

 

I don't know. You may have a point there. I just haven't thought that whole scenario through because I don't anticipate anything happening to my husband. And I don't want to think about anything happening to him.

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I definitely want a long term, committed relationship with another girl! I wish it wasn't so hard to find.

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Their devastation & suffering due to your sexuality is a product of homo/biphobia

 

You are right about this; it does all come down to the aggressive misogyny and heteronormativity of society and its byproduct , homophobia.

 

Thank you for your support. I am really happy to read that your "family hell" eventually took a turn for the better.

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All studies so far show lesbian women tend to be serial monogamist on average which I do believe there are more lesbian iding women who are looking & open to an exclusive relationship with another woman.

 

 

Adding to that, I'm pretty sure most people in most "free" societies (i.e. the Western world and other places where people are free to date and pick their own partners) are serial monogamists.

 

Really, if it were revealed with a certainty that Bi-identified women are less likely to seek a longterm relationship with a woman, it wouldn't surprise me, not because they don't deep down crave it or because they wouldn't end up loving it, but because of that point we talked about earlier in the thread: heternormativity and het privilege.

 

In a world of white knights, Disney princes and the princesses who seek them; a world where indulgently smiling adults coo at a 3-year old boy and girl, "Aww, is that your little girlfriend? Do you want to marry her/him?;" and where every TV commercial, billboard and magazine ad featuring a couple (of which the average person sees tens of thousands) displays a man-woman or boy-girl couple, we have been socialized to view hetero couplings as the standard for longterm,domstic partnerships.

 

In a sense, even in more liberal democratic countries, many Bi people have to actively de-program themselves from years of socialization to get to the point where they could picture their own sex as an equally viable option for a longterm domestic partner/spouse (as opposed to a less formal romantic and sexual relationship of uncertain duration).

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