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Single Girls Who Could See Themselves Happy With A Long Term Committed Gf Relationship

221 posts in this topic

Hell yes I would consider a long term relationship with a woman. As long as she could accept my 2 kids. I'm in a ltr with a man now but I dont see it lasting forever. A big reason is that I'm more sexually attracted to females than males.

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I'm sort of in the same frame of mind as Tabby its the person not the gender that matters to me. So if I find a great girl then yeah.

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I am in a long term relationship with a woman, but in the early stages of that relationship, and hoping it will continue for a long time.

 

currently I am grappling with fear tho, cos much as i give load of support to women on this site, even give up my time as a mod voluntarily so women can bebefit from the support community this site offers, I am still personally scared stiff of telling my parents I am gay.

 

It is a complex situation, with a long history, and tied up in a crappy relationship of 42 years of non communication and insecurity, and tho i have made huge progress in my life in terms of coming out to myself, ending my dead marriage, rebuilding my life as a single mother lesbian in her early 40s, all the stuff people say "wow, you are really strong"... I have a wonderful gf, i love her deeply, she loves me... but i can't tell my parents, and i feel awful. I'm not sure what the block is, but I know the news will be met with all the things that trigger off despair in me, and i'm sure it is complicated by stuff emerging thru therpay about adoption and the impact it has on the essential core of a child, it has messed up my relationship with my mum from day one, so it would appear, but my parents just don't talk about anything. My mum is the sort who will use emotional blackmail and control to get what she wants, and i end up feeling despair, hurt, pain, rejection. I'm working on this right now with my therapist...

 

I feel bad cos my gf hs told her family about me, i have met her friends, i know her neighbour, and my parents don't even know i am gay.... i'm not sure what terrifies me so much about telling them, hell, i could just write an e-mail now and get it over with, but i see them in august for a golden wedding, and i don't want the issue hanging over their celebrations... i wish i could take my gf there cos really, i think she is "the one" if ever "the one" exists....

 

i feel like such a wuss, but i guess my past, adoption stuff, crappy relationship with my mum etc means i have a HUGE block over this... my brother knows, my friends here in france know

 

but my job, as a teacher, in a semi private place, means, very little job security, so i keep my private life private... i hate life kind of trying to be invisible, i want to have a happy and normal life with my gf...

 

but, if my issues with coming out to my parents were a problem, i guess she wouldn't be with me, right? i just want to be honest by her, cos i'm very proud, happy,

 

i hd a bad experience with my ex, she humiliated me in public, god, it makes me cringe, people in the village looking out their windows as she screamed at me round the streets....i guess now i'm scared of losing my job and losing my parents in order to be honest by my gf....

 

sometimes i wish i could just find a guy and be "normal" and be in love with someone i can talk about, cos i hate staffroom convos where everyone talks about their weekend and i have to lie to avoid telling them i was with my gf...

 

the more i read this post, the more i relaise i need to go back to see my therapist, the whole post is glaringly obvious to my rational brain, and my emotional brain is a mess, lol

 

az xxx

 

 

My ex gf was a private school teacher & she hated staff meetings the most. She would tell them about her imaginary bf Jeff when talking about me as that was my dragname. Anyhow she got me a pt working with her as a security guard & for years she claimed that Jeff was my brother.They all believed it but It was very hard to pretend that we weren't together at work & for the 3yrs we lived together going out was a mission anytime we went anywhere her children or their parents could be as she feared getting fired. She had serious issues with not being normal & wishing she was str8 & now years later she is dating a man, but when we were together I didn't have issues with her not wanting to be out at work because I understood exactly what it was like to lose jobs when others people found out that I was gay (including me & this security job later on after our breakup when I started dancing & was ready to leave any ways) but point is the only issues I really had with her issues over it was how wishing she was str8 & normal made me feel like I wasn't good enough becuz I was never going to be the person she could boost to her coworker about or hold her hand when out without fearing some1 would see us. She was kinda abusive to me about it when others saw us or give us dirty looks becuz then it became my fault for being a dyke for some reason even though I was her gf of 3yrs & she was the 1 that pursued a relationship w/ me. Anyhow I'm glad she is with a man now & while our relationship outside of these issues was & always will be 1 of the best either 1 of us had cuz in spite our differences we were bffs & very compatible, but her issues w/ not having a normal life is a large part on why we broke up. I believe if gay was more accepted & we were allowed to get married at the Church she teaches for that her mother also teaches at & got married at like she wanted well we would have & still be married now. Not saying that was the only factor in our brakeup, but it was the 1 that most impacted me knowing her family was always going to push for both of us to date men, & I couldn't spare her from the discrimination she had a harder time dealing with then I did as I accepted I was not normal & going to have no choice but to face it long before her & no matter if I had a life with her or any1 else as a gay person.

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so many imapacting factors in this question, but if you take out all of the spectulation, and a woman came around that totlly turned my head, then yeah, I would definitely be willing to committ to a life long relationship. Don't know if that would stop me from appreciating the physical appearance of the more masculine sex, however, would probably stop me from persuing it. That is how it was when I was married. Totally commited to him, but the desifre thing never, completely died down, only not actively persued, so as to not actually find so to speak. I think our desires are something that we have to understand about each other, especially if we are gonna be committed

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yes, i hear you loud and clear.

 

I did the married thing for a long time, and it is actually very easy being straight, except it is miserable being straight when you are gay, but all the stuff that went with it, the living "normal" life is very very easy... but the emotional wasn't.

 

I have been living the "gay" life for four years now, after coming thru all the fear and denial and accepting it is actually possible to be gay and ok to be gay, and easy thing for me to accept, actually, it feels perfectly right, and since then, tho, i have been living a parallel life.

 

I am very out in some ways, azur is gay, proud, loud and supportive of the lgbt thing, works very hard infact, gives up a lot of time, to be actively and supportively gay... the real me, the single mum, at home, with her kids, she is gay, her gf comes over to stay, life is good, feels like a family, kids are happy, we go out, all together, all is good, people see us, don't give us a second glance, two women out with two kids... normal.. then they notice i am holding my gf's hand, or see my with my hand on her knee when we are sitting at a café, or they see us arm in arm, or even kissing, and people stare, some stare and then check themselves and look away, some stare and glare, some stare and smile, but everywhere we are on view like goldfish in a bowl. Even camping in the mountains, miles from anywhere, there i was sitting with my ex gf on a bench with my kids eating sandwiches and a kid from school appears out of nowhere and introduces me to her parents! I go home to my own parents and i am really struggling, cos the me i was 4 years ago and the me i am now are so so different i feel almost schizo trying to squeeze myself back into something vaguely resembling the me my parents , and i go to work and i guess i don't exactly hide who i am, the way i cut my hair, the fact i wear shirts and jeans even in 37°C of cote d'azur summertime, and the exact same shirts and jeans (and DM boots) in -5°C of cote d'azur winter might give a clue as to me NOT being your typical girlie girl... but now i daren't even take my kids to the local swimming pool, cos if kids i teach suspect me of being gay, and i accidentally come across one of the girls i teach in the communal changing rooms, i am scared of what might be insinuated if anyone has a homophobic parent...

 

My Gf is actually very understanding, even tho she is very out herself. I would never really want to be straight, actually i love being gay, it feels perfect, and i love my gf so much, i just hate having to hide being gay, and i hate the fact that being gay in my line of work puts me into a stupid risk situation that a straight teacher would never have to deal with. When other staff bring their partners along to staff socials, and i turn up alone... well, i did take a risk once and took my ex to a school play, and she is about as butch as they come, a big greek woman with a marine-style cut spiked with gel, wearing baggy deisel jeans and a muscle shirt under a black leather jacket... people couldn't help but have their eyes on stalks when they saw her with me... my "friend, visiting from greece....." i hate that what i want so much, a normal life, long term, stable, normal couple, living togther, kids, dog, house, normal together stuff, is actually difficult in a world where when two women book a hotel room they give you twin beds, when two women walk the esplanade amongst the other couples holding hands and smooching, everyone stares, when my family gathers for my parents' golden wedding, i will be the only one without my partner there, if i can be so bold as to call my gf my partner, tho she proves every day that this is indeed what she is, even tho we have known each other such a short time.... i want to be able to say to my parents, without fear, "hey, meet G, she is my new gf, and i love her very much"... something as simple as that and as normal as that... cos when I said "meet G, my bf, and i love him very much" my mum was happier than i have ever seen her in my life, the chasm closed, the gap narrowed, the pain lessened... and if i was to say "meet g, my new gf" i know the chasm will widen, the gap will grow, the pain will deepend and i will feel the cold winds of the frozen north blowing round me...

 

but yes, even with all that, all i want is a long term, stable, loving, normal, committed, monogamous, together for ever sort of a relationship with my gf.

 

az xxx

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I think a relationship with a woman would be great...

 

First there is the fact that you kind of have an insight into what the person may feel.

 

For some reason many people think that their public sexual identity is more important than their personal multifaceted sexual identity. It's sad.

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It is a definite possibility for me. I would be very happy if I met a nice woman who wanted to love me and be with me for the rest of our lives. Even if we didn't agree on everything.

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I've never had a long term relationship but I would seriously consider one with a woman. For me I think it's more appealing than a relationship with a guy. In my head it seems more intimate, more special.

 

But hey, I'm inexperienced. It's all just daydreams to me lol

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That is what I most want actually. A fine woman(beautiful, clever, sexy, sparky, loving and kind) to call my own.

 

Ugh me too, I really hope I find her soon <3

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i was in a long term relationship with a girl before. if i could find another woman who wouldn't stab me in the back i would love to have it again.

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When I was younger I had an open relationship with my long-term boyfriend - I would have girlfriends as well as him, and sometimes we would 'share' partners (not necessarily sexually, but we'd do couply things together as a three :)). At the time I thought it was what I wanted - I was young when I got with my boyfriend, and hadn't had a proper chance to explore my gay side. I wanted to do that but didn't want to lose him, as I thought he was the love of my life :) Now I realise that I was just experimenting - it worked for me then, but I think I would want to be monogamous in any future relationships, if there are any. Since I prefer girls to guys though, I think I would find it much easier to be monogamous in a girl-girl relationship. It's funny as I miss girls when I'm with a guy, but I don't really miss guys if I'm dating a girl. As I said - I def prefer girls! :)

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oh i would defenatly have a lady as a long turm relationship if the opertunity came up,

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Would definitely have a long term relationship with a woman if I had the opportunity ! :)

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That is what I most want actually. A fine woman(beautiful, clever, sexy, sparky, loving and kind) to call my own.

 

 

Yup, me too.

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Up until recently, I was positive that I could have a relationship with a female that has a boyfriend/husband. I know now that is not at all what I want.

Most of my family knows that I am bisexual or just assumes based on evidence over the years (lol). So dating a woman is not an issue for me, other than confusing my children, both of whom are young enough to adapt though. I was married for 4 years and they do not know me as a "dating mom".. I just live in a small town where it is not socially acceptable, so that becomes an issue of embarrassment and bullying for them once they hit school age (one of them does next year). Otherwise, I would be interested in looking for a local, serious girlfriend right now..

 

I am not at all interested in dating men.

 

I will be pursuing women soon though. Single women.

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I think I would be open to the possibility providing its with that special person who can bring out the best side of you. Are we all not looking for that soulmate whether female or male?

 

 

I agree a hundred and ten percent :)

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Ive never been in a relationship with a woman, and quite frankly I would If I come across a woman whom I click with instantly and who is her own person and not a wannabe ...i juz cant handle fake people no matter how nice they are ultimately I wouldnt be with them ...so answering ur question ya i could see myself with a woman :)

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Being single this last year has given me a lot of time to learn about myself and to figure out what it is that I want in my next relationship (my last was with a man). I've started to imagine what life with my next partner will look like, and I always see another woman in it.

 

I imagine coming home from work to see her, making meals together, going out for coffee, cuddling on the couch with my cat to watch a movie, going on camping trips together and making out in the tent, holding hands in the car while belting out to our favorite songs, dragging each other to the gym, meeting each other's families, moving in together, and having earth-shattering orgasms together. Even the not-so-happy times, like making up after an argument or taking care of each other when we're sick (or just having really bad cramps). I can see my whole life with this woman, but I can't see her face.

 

I hope one day I'll meet her. :wub2:

 

Same with me. That's exactly how i feel. I can see her face, but it's not going to be her, so it then becomes faceless x

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I would LOVE to have a committed, long term, exclusive partnership with a woman. Two things stop me:

 

1. My relationship with my boyfriend (See below).

2. My unwillingness to be "out" to my family, which I feel will keep away any potentially interested women who disdain "the closet."

 

 

 

I agree wholeheartedly with this...it's scary being "out of the closet" and being committed solely to a woman when that still isn't exactly accepted. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and even though I find a serious attraction to women and really would like to have a relationship with a woman, I couldn't imagine not being his wife one day.

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I would LOVE to have a committed, long term, exclusive partnership with a woman. Two things stop me:

 

1. My relationship with my boyfriend (See below).

2. My unwillingness to be "out" to my family, which I feel will keep away any potentially interested women who disdain "the closet."

 

 

 

I agree wholeheartedly with this...it's scary being "out of the closet" and being committed solely to a woman when that still isn't exactly accepted. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and even though I find a serious attraction to women and really would like to have a relationship with a woman, I couldn't imagine not being his wife one day.

 

What is it about being his wife that you can't imagine? x

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I cannot imagine NOT being his wife. I'm quite certain another women isn't going to be okay with that and it will pose a huge problem if I ever decided to try to have a long-term committed relationship with a women. I mean truthfully I believe at least 97% of women want a monogamous relationship whether it be with a male or a female.

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I am in an exclusive relationship with a woman and i feel lucky having her in my life!!!

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I definitely can't date more than one person at a time over the long-term. At some point, I find I do need to commit to one person. I've been commitment phobic recently, however, and am not sure why.

But since that's who I am, and I am attracted to women and men - I agree with the person who is happy in a relationship with a woman because she was looking for the person, despite gender - then if I met a person I wanted to date seriously and have a relationship with, who happened to be a woman, then that is what I would want. However, I definitely have a lot of questions about it and some anxiety since it is new territory for me.

When it comes to differentiating between people who are male and female, the question of emotional interaction and balance/ imbalance is a big one for me. In longer relationships with women, can the "estrogen" get overwhelming? Can you get along in a healthy way that doesn't smother you just with emotion? I guess I'm not an overly emotional person, so too much emotion is a turn-off for me. Is that a big difference in having a longer relationship with a woman versus a man?

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long-term, committed gf relationship is what I want, but that's something built over time. have to start slow. for instance, having a gf would be a great first step. :P

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long-term, committed gf relationship is what I want, but that's something built over time. have to start slow. for instance, having a gf would be a great first step. :P

 

I agree. I think I get nervous thinking about what a long term committed relationship would mean, that I get distracted starting on the slow end and building the initial chemistry. Cross that bridge when it comes... if it does. focus on one step at a time. Have to keep telling myself that!!

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