polkadot

How To Turn On Your Gaydar

560 posts in this topic

This is a great topic! And some fantastic advice on here that I need to follow! Being a very shy person since birth, my natural reaction when someone looks or smiles at me is to look down.... pathetic, I know and I've been working on that. My gaydar just needs to be plugged in and charged. I'm getting a weak signal currently. This weekend I bought some coffee at a cafe and definitely noticed the girl selling it to me. I consciously maintained eye contact with her throughout the transaction, smiled, etc. and when she handed me the cup she put her fingers on top of mine on the cup and held them there while she handed me my change with the other hand all the while looking right into my eyes. I was weak in the knees and could do nothing else but smile back and mumble something unintelligible like "thank you," but it was definitely a connection.

Slowly but surely, I'm gaining my confidence! I sure do envy all the confident people out there!

11

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i have a tendency to strut about with both hand in my jeans pockets with my thumb outside sometimes, like guys do, i do get a few looks, read once on a lesbian site, thats an easy one to spot on your gaydar

 

Really? I do that quite a lot!!

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Really? I do that quite a lot!!

So do I... LOL

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Really? I do that quite a lot!!

So do I... LOL

 

Maybe that's why when I told one of my friends, she said she knew all ready!! haha

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like this advice. The world acts as if we're all straight all the time. Why not flip the script?

 

 

An interesting alternative way of looking at things. Certainly worth giving it a go. An interesting thread in general, certainly something to think about.

 

I'm still struggling for some reason that other women might be looking at me in that way. Does that sound really odd? Just about coming to terms that it ok for me to look at others and be comfortable with it, but it makes me feel a bit wierd others are doing the same to me.

I guess it is all tied up with the mess that is termed my self esteem!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like what Nicole.S said about plugging your gaydar in. Sounds like a good plan to start with.

Before reading this post and discovering (thanks to polkadot :imsohappy: ) that 1 in 4 people have gay tendencies I was out and about in the shops today and I suppose I turned on my gaydar, taking more notice of those around me and wondering .... so much so that I left my purchases in the shop and had to go back for them lol. That's how distracted I was but it was certainly interesting.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The first thing you need to do before you leave the house every day is turn your gaydar on.

How do you do that? It’s easy. You realize that 1 out 4 people have gay tendencies, whether they admit it or not. So the chances that the cutie pie at the checkout is into girls is actually higher then you think. Even if she hasn’t dated women before it doesn’t mean you can’t be her first.

So turn your gaydar on by simply realizing that we’re everywhere. I know, I know, life would be so much easier if we all wore some sign or name badge identifying our sexuality, but we don’t. So get over it and step out of your little box long enough to realize that the girl you’re eyeing may be just as terrified as you, of making the wrong assumption.

(from cardcarryinglesbian.com)

 

 

Basically this is my personal technique for activating my gaydar: I assume that every woman I meet is either gay or at least bi until proven otherwise. That way I don’t close the door to any opportunities that might present themselves.

 

Try it. It works. You’ll find yourself making eye contact more often, letting your eyes linger a bit longer on her lips, looking for signs of her queerness in the way she dresses or moves.

 

You’ll start to get better at this the more you do it. Like anything, having good gaydar takes practice.

So before we go any further with how to meet women, let’s work on recognizing fellow lesbians and ladies that may just be open to another woman, regardless of her current label.

 

So my homework assignment for you is to do the following:

 

Next time you’re at any store that you frequent, assume that the cute girl you see is gay. Just pretend that you know for a fact that she is. This doesn’t mean jump her bones in the chip and cookie aisle. It just means to act as if she is. Notice if you feel more comfortable around her? Make more eye contact and see if she holds your gaze, does she look at your lips and then back up to your eyes?

 

But more then her reaction, it’s your reaction I want to know about.

 

Let yourself act as if we live in a world where gay people outnumber breeders. Try not to be so self-contained, self-conscious and cautious all the time. (This doesn’t mean be reckless if you live in an area that you could get stoned for being gay.) I’m talking about a subtle attitude change that will affect the way you relate to other women.

 

Im so gonna do this from now on!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really appreciate this post! I regret that once at a hot springs my dh said a lady was checking me out and smiled at him, and I never went back and said "Hi" to her. Too shy...dang!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think I'll walk around pretending every girl is flexible...

But I do really agree girls should walk around less shy and more confident...

 

For example: Yesterday I was driving around with my sister and since it was a really nice spring day the girls in their cute outfits were out everywhere ... and I do mean everywheeeere! ^_^ Anyway, we go to a nice neighborhood where there are a number of parks and cafes and alot of general hipsterness lol and I find my eyes on yet another pretty girl. I'm on the passenger side of the car and this lady was across the street (to my left) and she notices me looking at her. This woman does not look away and I'm staring at her while having some b.s convo with my sis. I look away from the woman for a second (so I don't make my entreme gayness obvious to my sister lol). My sis then says something funny so a big smile appears on my face and then I bring my eyes back to the woman. She sees the grin on my face and she returns it. And still doesn't look away. Meanwhile in my head I'm like "omg!" and "don't turn green stoplight!" lol. This woman was maybe 30 (I'm early 20s) and was walking with a baby/stroller. Never would have guessed she'd be into girls. But the look of interest in her eyes was undeniable! So I do recommend girls be less shy if they're into girls. Even if only to experience a small (amazing) moment like this! <3

 

(This made my day cuz she was a f-ing hot milf! lol)

Edited by La Orgullosa
4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to think mine was great had a major malfunction last year, asked someone who was straight , maybe theres a repair service I could use?

 

Cuty K

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I spend a LOT of time at the gym and keep thinking I'll find someone there. I have NO gaydar... really, none. So today, I'm starting a new routine. No headphones till I'm doing cardio. I'm usually rocking out to my music so much that I'm probably oblivious to everyone around me! I KNOW they're out there! Just like Me! LOL

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I spend a LOT of time at the gym and keep thinking I'll find someone there. I have NO gaydar... really, none. So today, I'm starting a new routine. No headphones till I'm doing cardio. I'm usually rocking out to my music so much that I'm probably oblivious to everyone around me! I KNOW they're out there! Just like Me! LOL

 

Suzy, with a body like that - how, how, how can you have no gaydar???? If you're working out that much the ladies are around. Every time my girlfriend and I used to go to the gym there were always a couple that we'd spot. Good choice taking the headphones off and taking time to smell the roses..... Surely there must be a rose there somewhere...

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

love it! great post! and im going to try this next time I'm out hehe ( :

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my gaydar is not that good aswell, but i have seen girls checking me out. one time i was at a party and i saw one girl was checking me out, she stared and stared, i felt kinda weird, thinking 'does she know?' i think her gaydar is quite good :) i didn't go to her and didn't start a conversation (I was in love at that time). on the other hand, it happened while i was an erasmus (exchange program), and there were a lot of spanish people who all thought i was a lesbian, because of my short hair, one spanish guy even asked me about it :) we were only friends with him but he just wanted to know so bad and told that it's so normal in spain (but not in my country!) and i told him everything, it felt so good to tell...anyhow, i have to check my gaydar status and the sense of it, i will try to follow those tips given here, thank you all!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think mine is broken. yep broken. i get nothing....

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll have to try this next time I'm out.....should be interesting....lol

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is working for me brilliantly these days :)

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

edit

Edited by Squirtle
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to agree with you Squirtle about trying to decipher between friendship and something more. I was absolutely sure I was being aggressively flirted with at the gym and it didn't work out as expected. I'm a shy person and I would not have pursued this woman like I did if I had not been sure about her motives. With that being said, the husband and I were on a date last night at a local tavern and two woman next to us started hugging. I would not have given it much thought before, but now......

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 women hugging seems so normal for everybody, but 2 men hugging would be more eye-catching, don't you think?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have no gaydar whatsover. A friend and I were at the bar and the waitress kept asking if we were ok and if we needed anything. At first I thought she was just being friendly but I was hella confused. Then I was confused even more when we started chatting and after her shift meeting up to go to another bar. Sadly it didn't happen but I can't help but think if she was just being friendly or flirting with me.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My gaydar is terrible. Need to try polkadot's system. Should at least make things more fun / interesting as I'm out and about. Thanks for the help pd!!!!!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great tips for sure. It's definitely easier than it sounds. I was out to lunch with a few friends and our waitress was beautiful. Catching her gaze came naturally and I found her returning it. Even if it goes no where, it's still fun ;)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't read the entire thread yet but just wanted to post that I love this thread. Great topic!! I really need some advice on how to turn this darn gaydar on. It's about as reliable as my phone's GPS system. Lots of "recalculating" going on! :dntknw:

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now