polkadot

How To Turn On Your Gaydar

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I started something similar to this just a couple of weeks ago. Normally I am really shy but I thought "how am I ever going to meet anyone if I can't even meet their eyes?" So that is what I have been trying to do lately. I work with a woman that I would like to get to know better as a friend and we have held eye contact for more than just a few seconds and I have caught her eyes straying to my chest. We have brushed up against each other while at work where one of us has to pass behind the other at the counter. But now my question is what to do from this point forward. Am I reading too much into everything or not? (is what I ask myself).

Thanks for the original post.

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Awesome. I was at a really nice restaurant for Easter and there was this totally hot woman sitting with three older family members. I immediately thought she was at least bi because she had this gorgeous but short haircut that was edgy. She was dressed beautifully and had manicured nails. I found her intoxicating. She was sexy and confident but somehow very self assured too. Her guests were older and very conservative. I allowed myself to notice her a few tables away. I could have ended up starring too much. But, fortunately, albeit frustratingly, a new group was seated and blocked my view. I still caught glimpses at her. I enjoyed feeling free and tickled to be practicing my gaydar for the first time ever. You all gave me the courage to do this. Yeah.

 

Have Fun practicing your gaydar today.

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humm, this is a really interesting idea. definitely going to try this and see how it goes because at the moment, I just assume every girl i see is straight. xx

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This is awesome but I think dragging around my children puts me at a disadvantage. People assume if you are a woman with children you are heterosexual

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OOOh!!!!

 

Why did I never read this thread until now *bangs head off wall*

 

Amazing.... in fact there is a special lady I'd like to try this with... problem is I need to see her more first!!

 

Thanks POLKADOT! xxxx

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I think this is brilliant and oh so helpful thankyou!

Now to just find the right woman for me

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That was brilliant advice! I put it to the test and zing at the first night out. I managed to make repeated eye-contact with a DJ / dance teacher at a local salsa club across the room! I think I even caught her looking for me and wondering if I was still around while I was on my way out because she had seen me putting my jacket on. I thought she looked "suspicious" before but now I'm quite positive about it! :)

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I tend to frequent cafes not supermarkets as folk are too busy to eye anyone up. I look round each table eyeing people up, i can usually spot the definitelys the maybes and the definitely nots haha. I dress casual, boyish with girly undertones, i have a tendency to strut about with both hand in my jeans pockets with my thumb outside sometimes, like guys do, i do get a few looks, read once on a lesbian site, thats an easy one to spot on your gaydar

I never strut around with my hands in my pocket, as you can see by my avatar pic. LOL Good point Shejayelectro. :-) Boots
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I'm getting better with this Gaydar. lol What a new way to look at the world.

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I've been trying this on cashiers and waitresses, but every time they flirt back I like can't handle it. I turn pink, blabber like an idiot and can't get any words out of my mouth. I'm still way too intimidated by women yet. But I feel like this has worked to see if they'll flirt back, but I have to learn to reciprocate back ;)!

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Great topic! I will definetly be putting these tips to work every time I leave the house. You never know, maybe it will eventually lead to something.

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The first thing you need to do before you leave the house every day is turn your gaydar on.

How do you do that? It’s easy. You realize that 1 out 4 people have gay tendencies, whether they admit it or not. So the chances that the cutie pie at the checkout is into girls is actually higher then you think. Even if she hasn’t dated women before it doesn’t mean you can’t be her first.

So turn your gaydar on by simply realizing that we’re everywhere. I know, I know, life would be so much easier if we all wore some sign or name badge identifying our sexuality, but we don’t. So get over it and step out of your little box long enough to realize that the girl you’re eyeing may be just as terrified as you, of making the wrong assumption.

(from cardcarryinglesbian.com)

 

 

Basically this is my personal technique for activating my gaydar: I assume that every woman I meet is either gay or at least bi until proven otherwise. That way I don’t close the door to any opportunities that might present themselves.

 

Try it. It works. You’ll find yourself making eye contact more often, letting your eyes linger a bit longer on her lips, looking for signs of her queerness in the way she dresses or moves.

 

You’ll start to get better at this the more you do it. Like anything, having good gaydar takes practice.

So before we go any further with how to meet women, let’s work on recognizing fellow lesbians and ladies that may just be open to another woman, regardless of her current label.

 

So my homework assignment for you is to do the following:

 

Next time you’re at any store that you frequent, assume that the cute girl you see is gay. Just pretend that you know for a fact that she is. This doesn’t mean jump her bones in the chip and cookie aisle. It just means to act as if she is. Notice if you feel more comfortable around her? Make more eye contact and see if she holds your gaze, does she look at your lips and then back up to your eyes?

 

But more then her reaction, it’s your reaction I want to know about.

 

Let yourself act as if we live in a world where gay people outnumber breeders. Try not to be so self-contained, self-conscious and cautious all the time. (This doesn’t mean be reckless if you live in an area that you could get stoned for being gay.) I’m talking about a subtle attitude change that will affect the way you relate to other women.

 

I'm going to take your advice and try that, seem's easy enough:)

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Great topic! I will definetly be putting these tips to work every time I leave the house. You never know, maybe it will eventually lead to something.

 

I agree

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That was brilliant advice! I put it to the test and zing at the first night out. I managed to make repeated eye-contact with a DJ / dance teacher at a local salsa club across the room! I think I even caught her looking for me and wondering if I was still around while I was on my way out because she had seen me putting my jacket on. I thought she looked "suspicious" before but now I'm quite positive about it! :)

 

That's pretty cool!

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That's pretty cool!

 

It was! Though I'm more interested in another lady there and if I'm right about the DJ/dance teacher she is in a relationship already... This week I tried to further the connection (I haven't even really spoken to her) but one guy was hanging around me a bit too much. I mean he is nice, so no harm, and is friends with the teacher so there may be another door in it as well. It would be good to just know other women that are also into women, there's got to be more than only me.

 

This other lady, I don't know about her. I feel that my own interests could be messing with my interpretation here. I need to know more because she is this extra nice person in general and I seriously can't tell if there's more to it for me. I think I see a hint of queerness in her but it could be just that she is this strong independent woman. The last night I showed up in a rather androgynous outfit to test her reaction and because I simply felt like it. Well it didn't push her away at least and we had a good chat but again it doesn't necessarily indicate anything. Even if she isn't interested in me that way she seems to be a wonderful person to be friends with anyway.

 

This gaydar tip is really good for self-confidence.

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Ah, this is very interesting. I'll definitely try it. I feel like you never really know. I treat men this way, but never a women. I find myself staring at women at times, but I never make eye contact with them like I would a man. There are times too that I catch a women staring at me. But I never pay it any mind. I think it was coincidence that she happen to look in my direction when I turned to her direction. But what if she was staring at me all along?

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I'm another one who's gaydar's broken :-( although I think my general 'raydar's' bost ! Does anyone worry (if that's the word), bout gettin a bad reaction from eye contact ? I mean, sometimes (where drinkin is involved), I jus don't wanna provoke someone by the 'wrong' look, u no wot I mean ? Think their reaction is somethin like 'wot u starin at ?' Jus not a conflict person so tend to not look, jus in case

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Love this thread, I was in the supermarket this morning and this woman in her late 30s i would say always has a stare when i come in and our eyes meet, I dunno if its coincidence or she is possibly bi its kinda of embarrassing, i blush, she is very nice though, also a girl of about 20 working on one of the tills was staring and when i turned round she looked flustered and nervously looked away, looking quite embarrassed, far too young unfortunately ...I'm still none the wiser ... they could all be straight and just being bitchy.

Edited by runningmad
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Love this thread, I was in the supermarket this morning and this woman in her late 30s i would say always has a stare when i come in and our eyes meet, I dunno if its coincidence or she is possibly bi its kinda of embarrassing, i blush, she is very nice though, also a girl of about 20 working on one of the tills was staring and when i turned round she looked flustered and nervously looked away, looking quite embarrassed, far too young unfortunately ...I'm still none the wiser ... they could all be straight and just being bitchy.

 

HOW are you going to ever get anywhere??!!

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Im really going to turn mine on (after i find it lol )

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IJM like your style! Straight to the point lol. Answer... probably never! I'm too shy! I'm not a natural flirt anyways!

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I just found this thread, and love both the advice and everybody's reactions, stories, etc.

I started doing some of this naturally shortly after I joined shy's (never thought about assuming they're all gay though, will definitely want to try that one out)! What I noticed is I started feeling more confident and getting friendlier with people (well, women, especially with the women who smile back)--just casual contacts in stores and such. It makes life nicer.

Opportunity has got to be around one of these corners, and I feel like I'll be ready when she walks my way.

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IJM like your style! Straight to the point lol. Answer... probably never! I'm too shy! I'm not a natural flirt anyways!

 

Blimey, so wtf point of even going down the bi road?????? I'm sooo ready to make the move on a woman I like that will reciprocate......

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I'm too shy! I'm not a natural flirt anyways!

With such a pretty smile, just looking down shyly and then back up with the smile would melt the right woman's heart.

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