Riddle

Are You Ok With Being Single?

343 posts in this topic

I am ok with being single but I would love to have someone to go to dinner with, go to the museum with, go to an amusement park with...

 

I am ok with being single, but I hate feeling like I will ALWAYS be single. I have never been in a relationship so I am used to being alone. I am also an only child, so I am used to being alone without feeling lonely for the most part. Basically, I can deal with being alone for the rest of my life if I had to, but I don't want to... Dating a man would be fine, but what I really want is a woman. There is a Shybi member here that I would love to date but we live far from one another. Le sigh...I'll stop here because it looks like I'm asking for a pity party. I'm not. Lol

 

Anyway, for the single women here, how do you feel about being single?

 

 

Sent from my iPod

Edited by Riddle
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I think it is tedious. I like the fact that I have freedom to do what I want but coming out of a 17 year relationship it is weird to now be alone. It is so hard to trust people. I am also ok with dating a man and would like to find a good FWB partner but I also crave more than that to be with a woman. I feel like my desire will never be fully met and that is very unsatisfying . At this point in my life I would rather be alone then compromise on what I feel is fair in a relationship but I would much rather be in one then be alone.

 

I miss having someone who cares how my day was. To hold me when I feel down. Someone who knows what's going on in my life so I don't have to give a half hour back-story to explain a problem I'm having. Someone to call when i need to rant about some asshole. Its hard to be single when 95% of your friends are in relationships and have families. You become so far down on the list of important things to tended to. I miss the consistency yet cherish my new found freedom.

 

It's a weird place to be in. I'm trying to get used to be alone while you are trying to be comfortable with the idea of a relationship. I don't want to be single but i also won't give up my integrity anymore just to be in a relationship.

I think you need to be comfortable being alone before you can be successful in a relationship because then that fear of loneness is gone. that is what I am working on at least. Who know. Ultimately, I think you are better off along then compromising yourself.

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I've been single for 10 years now since my divorce. I decided that for me I wanted to put my children first since they were young and very effected by my divorce. At that time I didn't have the opportunity to go out and meet anyone with the minimal amount of time I had alone. Honestly I wouldn't change the choices I made. However, now that my kids are older I am finding myself quite lonely at times. I too miss having someone who cares about me and how my day was. Though my ex truly didn't listen to me much either. I am very comfortable by myself and try to go on vacation by myself once a year and enjoy meeting and talking to people but I don't depend on anyone to bring me happiness. I understand what a weird place it can be to be single. But I completely agree that one needs to be happy with one's self to be truly happy in a relationship. I don't want to compromise either. But I am also really hoping that there is someone out there for me. Feeling exceptionally lonely tonight :-( Trying to keep my chin up. Hoping the same for everyone else on this forum that is feeling the same way. Hugs.

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being single 4 a while is ok i suppose, get 2 do what u want when u want but 4 me if im single 4 too long i think i get a bit down because i just love havin that special person in my life i feel emotionally connected 2. gettin text messages that make u smile, phone calls where u dont wanna hang up and just bein with them in general and havin someone by ur side

i cant wait 2 find a new girlfriend or boyfriend.. :)

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i hate being single, i tend to be a very needy person and being on my own just doesn't do it for me haha, but i will admit there are things i do miss about being single but what i get in my relationship def. trumps all those little things that make being single bearable.

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I prefer being single... but that's only because I've gotten very comfortable in the space that I created for myself. I wouldn't say I get lonely, there are just times when its evident that I need some to share intimate things with.

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Ok I am not single at the moment, but when I was I loved it, I loved the sheer freedom of it all, I can be selfish so it was great having no one else to consider.

I would hate to think I was one of these women who used their girlfriends as I stand in for men, but I don't think I am and as I had friends it was them I went to dinner, cinema and bars with.

It helped greatly with being single that I have always enjoyed my own company.

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At the moment, I clearly prefer being single. Being single is a choice I made deliberately and if I wouldn't like being single, I wouldn't be single - after all there are enough guys and girls out there to hook up with.

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I'm not a fan of being single tbh.

I've just gotten out of a relationship with a guy but that was my choice, at the moment i think i need to be single to explore my sexuality i want more experiences with woman rather than just holding on to the one moment ive had with someone i know it'll never happen again with. I enjoyed it more than i thought i would so definitely think i need to get out there an mingle with the fairer sex - just gotta pluck up the courage lool

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I think it is tedious. I like the fact that I have freedom to do what I want but coming out of a 17 year relationship it is weird to now be alone. It is so hard to trust people. I am also ok with dating a man and would like to find a good FWB partner but I also crave more than that to be with a woman. I feel like my desire will never be fully met and that is very unsatisfying . At this point in my life I would rather be alone then compromise on what I feel is fair in a relationship but I would much rather be in one then be alone.

 

I miss having someone who cares how my day was. To hold me when I feel down. Someone who knows what's going on in my life so I don't have to give a half hour back-story to explain a problem I'm having. Someone to call when i need to rant about some asshole. Its hard to be single when 95% of your friends are in relationships and have families. You become so far down on the list of important things to tended to. I miss the consistency yet cherish my new found freedom.

 

It's a weird place to be in. I'm trying to get used to be alone while you are trying to be comfortable with the idea of a relationship. I don't want to be single but i also won't give up my integrity anymore just to be in a relationship.

I think you need to be comfortable being alone before you can be successful in a relationship because then that fear of loneness is gone. that is what I am working on at least. Who know. Ultimately, I think you are better off along then compromising yourself.

 

I should rephrase my original message. I am comfortable with being alone, but I'm almost too good at it at this point! I have always been alone, I don't know anything different. That being said, just because I'm ok with being alone doesn't mean that I don't want to find someone-- I do! As I mentioned earlier, I seldom feel lonely, but there are times that I do. 99% of the time, I am happy being single, but yeah, there are times, and definitely of late, where I do think it would be nice to have someone in my life, preferably a woman...

Edited by Riddle
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Really I can't say I'd be ok with being single..Im currently attempting to leave my husband after 10 yrs and I havent made the huge leap yet because honestly I hate being alone..I have my kids..but its not the same..we aren't the kissy cuddly type anymore and we barely speak..but at least someones here..not sure how I'll manage when its just the kids and myself..I won't be able to throw myself right into dating because I'll have a 1 yr old and a newborn to deal with as well as my two older boys...but Im not looking to spend the rest of my life alone!

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I've just never been single to know, I'm 34, my husband and I have been together for 16 years, I was dating a friend (cover relationship) for 4 years before I met him. So in some form or fashion, I've been with someone since I was 14 years old.

 

I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to be single, but I could easily survive if I was.

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I've been single for 10 years now since my divorce. I decided that for me I wanted to put my children first since they were young and very effected by my divorce. At that time I didn't have the opportunity to go out and meet anyone with the minimal amount of time I had alone. Honestly I wouldn't change the choices I made. However, now that my kids are older I am finding myself quite lonely at times. I too miss having someone who cares about me and how my day was. Though my ex truly didn't listen to me much either. I am very comfortable by myself and try to go on vacation by myself once a year and enjoy meeting and talking to people but I don't depend on anyone to bring me happiness. I understand what a weird place it can be to be single. But I completely agree that one needs to be happy with one's self to be truly happy in a relationship. I don't want to compromise either. But I am also really hoping that there is someone out there for me. Feeling exceptionally lonely tonight :-( Trying to keep my chin up. Hoping the same for everyone else on this forum that is feeling the same way. Hugs.

 

I understand how you feel and like you I have put my kids first. Currently I'm separated and after 14 years of being married I appreciatebu having my own space. But as you stated it is nice to be able to talk to someone about your day not that I ever had that with my husband. Being now on my own I tend to put things into perspective that I don't need someone to make me happy I have to learn than I have to make myself happy and not think or assume that I need someone to do it for me.

Hang in sunsheyn....there's someone out there for everyone...neighbor

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I have just slipped into a relationship after being single my whole life (I'm 28) Well, I had flings and FWB friendships etc. but I never had this person to think of and to think of me in the way you do in a relationship (I had very close, supportive friends but of course that's different!)

The nice thing I've discovered is that I loved being single and now that I am in a relationship I love that too!

 

In my single years I went on trips/adventures by myself, was alive and open to new people, had a lot of time to think, grow, reflect, be, had wild nights, was like a teenager when realising I am into women and could experiment erratically in a way that would have surely upset any partner...

 

and now that I found the right girl I love being there for someone and having someone SO supportive of me, love being around someone whose company is so delightful, discovering a place where I can be sexually free like I have never before cause I know and trust the person intimately...

 

I had feared that I woud be too used to my own patterns and routines. and wouldn't be able to be in a relationship but that was rubbish! When ms right came along we melded our lives together quite naturally.

 

That said, if I become single again, I can imagine adapting back to that too!

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I don't mind being single. I prefer to be dating someone though. I am not a fan of living together. I have kids that need my attention and I really enjoy my own space.

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My only “real” relationship was long distance and I’m an only child too so in a way I feel like I’ve always been on my own. Like you say it’s got the benefit of freedom but I feel like I’m missing out on stuff too.

 

There’s friends who I’m close to and that I do stuff with and I’m lucky that it’s always been that a few of us haven’t been in a relationship at the same time so we’ve had time for one another. Don’t want to think what it would be like without that though. I’ve been single for a few months now, which I think I needed to do, but I’m just about ready to start thinking about allowing myself to get interested in experimenting / dating again.

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I'm fine with being single, I guess with everything their are pro's and con's for example when your in a relationship you see lots of happy singles, and when you're single you see lots of happy couples.. :/ I guess there are certain things i miss like cuddles, intimacy that kinda thing or just generally someone to hang around with. Honestly though i'm not gonna jump into my next relationship, i'm gonna wait till i meet the right person, even if i have to wait months/years. I'll admit I wouldnt mind a relationship with a girl, since i've had quite a few with guys, i've been in love before too but it just felt like something was missing if that makes sense, it just didnt feel right, so every relationship i've ever been with i've ended, sometimes because I wanted to be single and independent i guess, i'd don't want a serious relationship either right now, i guess i'm at that point in life where i'm (how cliche of me to say) but "finding myself" and I think its a bad thing if i don't like my own company lol because i'm kinda stuck with me lol, its a lonely journey too but hopefully I find the person i've been waiting for :)

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I've been single for 10 years now since my divorce. I decided that for me I wanted to put my children first since they were young and very effected by my divorce. At that time I didn't have the opportunity to go out and meet anyone with the minimal amount of time I had alone. Honestly I wouldn't change the choices I made. However, now that my kids are older I am finding myself quite lonely at times. I too miss having someone who cares about me and how my day was. Though my ex truly didn't listen to me much either. I am very comfortable by myself and try to go on vacation by myself once a year and enjoy meeting and talking to people but I don't depend on anyone to bring me happiness. I understand what a weird place it can be to be single. But I completely agree that one needs to be happy with one's self to be truly happy in a relationship. I don't want to compromise either. But I am also really hoping that there is someone out there for me. Feeling exceptionally lonely tonight :-( Trying to keep my chin up. Hoping the same for everyone else on this forum that is feeling the same way. Hugs.

 

Sunsheyn, It seems you and I are a lot a like just with a 10 year diff. I was divorced last oct but it has been a year since it was made known to me. I have not wanted to date in any official capacity because I want to devote my time to my son who just turned 1. I never regret putting him first but on the weekends I don't have him and when my friends are busy, I find myself feeling very lonely. At the moment, I would be happy just with a strong mental connection with someone or occasionally physical as the need arises. But after my divorce, I find my standards for my time quite high and I'm not willing to compromise. My free time is precious, my standards are higher so this leaves me with an emptiness I am not fond of. I like exerting my independence but I don't want it to stay that way. I would also love to have someone new to talk to. Share my day and my funny little observations about the world. Someone to crack jokes to and just talk about life. I guess we will see what the future holds.

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I am ok with being single but I would love to have someone to go to dinner with, go to the museum with, go to an amusement park with...

 

I am ok with being single, but I hate feeling like I will ALWAYS be single. I have never been in a relationship so I am used to being alone. I am also an only child, so I am used to being alone without feeling lonely for the most part. Basically, I can deal with being alone for the rest of my life if I had to, but I don't want to... Dating a man would be fine, but what I really want is a woman. There is a Shybi member here that I would love to date but we live far from one another. Le sigh...I'll stop here because it looks like I'm asking for a pity party. I'm not. Lol

 

Anyway, for the single women here, how do you feel about being single?

 

 

Sent from my iPod

 

I start to wonder this too... that I am used to getting invasive people out of my life and relying on myself. I don't want to be alone, but I am so used to it, I am not sure how I will deal with having someone that up close and personal 24/7 in my life??

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Bar a 15 month relationship, I have never been in a relationship past the 4 month mark (until now), and spent a lot of my adulthood single...

 

I don't like being single. I was SO lonely - and while I could cope by myself etc, what I really missed was the intimacy, and having someone for ME... I have two young daughters, so no - I wasn't alone per'se.. but child company isn't the same as adult company...

 

Even now that I'm IN a relationship, it's long distance, so I'm still lonely when it comes down to it.. but SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Well - I'd change it so that she lived here with me ;) but until that happens, I'm happy :)

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I love being single.

I like being able to do whatever I want and not having to compromise. I like having my apartment all to my own. I don't feel lonely at all, I have a busy life, friends, colleagues, family and if I don't want to be alone, I just call someone and we do something together.

 

I think that maybe some day I'll be in a committed relationship again, but right now I'm not looking for someone.

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I am single and have been for at least 8 years (cant remember exactly, been so long), last time i had sex was 3 years ago, bad, i know, but i too have trust issues which have taken root a lot deeper than i would have hoped.

 

I am trying to get my mind out of thinking the way i have been, and it is working, i think, but i find that i dont seem to attract people ? People i like, dont like me (or dont think the same way), and the ones that do make any sort of comment, are old enough to be a parent (or grandparent)

 

My friends / family keep saying that i need to stop looking and someone will find me, but lately i have been having strong feelings towards someone and she has no idea, i dont even know if i can approach her (fear of being rejected, again - or repulsed, which is way worse), but have this belly feeling every time i see her or think of her.

 

I have only ever been out with guys before (not that i can remember lol), but since having these feelings, i realised that I have always noticed women, jus always told myself 'its admiring what they are wearing, or the way their hair is, or the way their bum looks is how i wish mine was', but now, its more that i am actually fancying them ?

 

This is all new but i am finding these new feelings exciting, i still dont know what to do. Does anyone know how you know if another woman could be interested ? I have been out of it for so long, i have no idea what to look for, i keep thinking i am imagining things because i want it so much ?

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I love being single.

I like being able to do whatever I want and not having to compromise. I like having my apartment all to my own. I don't feel lonely at all, I have a busy life, friends, colleagues, family and if I don't want to be alone, I just call someone and we do something together.

 

I think that maybe some day I'll be in a committed relationship again, but right now I'm not looking for someone.

Absolutely true... Relationships are good but not essential for me..

Im probably not cut to be in one, at least not a traditional one.

But i stay open... Never say never!

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I do get kind of bored being single and it gets lonely, miss cuddles and staying up till late talking.

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It always depends on if there is someone out there who I want to be in a relationship with. Right now, since I'm really in love with this girl, I am not okay with being single because I'm not with her. But go back a year, I was having the time of my life riding solo. Being single is fun! I get to mess around and experience the freedom of not being in one.

 

I don't like the fantasize about an ideal person if they are not right in front of me (though let's be real, I do it often). But there's a difference between fantasizing and making yourself miserable without the person you made up in your head.

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