Jaguar

Rape

182 posts in this topic

Take care of your babies~ then come back-we are here for you,

 

Candy

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Take your time SN, I had to wait till very late at night when everyone was asleep. Laying it all out on the line took so much out of me and brought back some very painful memories that I had thought I was past. But I do have to say that it was a cathartic experience. I've never once said everything all at one time, in the end it felt good just to let it all go. We are here for you whenever you feel the time is right. :confused0006:

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Just a thought ladies .... as I started this thread when we didn't have the protected Random Thoughts option and now we do .... would people feel more comfortable if this thread was in that forum ???

 

 

 

post your thoughts ....

 

 

 

(I'm assuming La Femme and the mods: would be ok with this move)

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Just a thought ladies .... as I started this thread when we didn't have the protected Random Thoughts option and now we do .... would people feel more comfortable if this thread was in that forum ???

 

 

 

post your thoughts ....

 

My thought on this is For me I'm comfortabel with this being here. It's out now and maybe we can help those that aren't yet able to come to terms with what happened to them. If this thread can help one person in anyway I'm all for it being an open topic. I know it's helped me but then again I wouldn't have any restrictions placed on me as far as post count or being a guest. That's just my feelings on this anyway. I can't speak for anyone else.

 

 

 

Babies are playing happily for the time being so here's my story.

 

It went on from the time I was 5 until I was about 11, when my mom and sperm donor seperated. He used it as a form of punishment. And everything no matter how hard I tried was grounds for punishment. For example, if I didn't turn around perfectly (military about face) then that night would bring the pain. There was always somethign I was doing wrong altho he was the only one that saw it as wrong. It was never vaginal as far as I can remember. It was always sodomy. There was also the physical and emotional abuse that occurred.I say as far as I can remember because I'm sure I haven't remembered everythign just yet. I repressed the memories until about 6-7 years ago. And to this day I still sometimes remember something small. No one knew anything about it until about a year or so after I started remembering. That's when I told my mom. More like she pulled it out of me cause I started getting volitile whenever I heard about a child being molested and at the time we had my (step) dad's cousin and her children living with us. One of her children had been molested and I just started going off and then they told me to watch it cause I would cause more harm to the child by ranting about it. So I stepped outside and mom pushed and pushed until I told her what I had been remembering. It did start to explain a lot of my behaviors both in child and adulthood. The 2 things I still find unexplainable to this day is why I have trouble remembering even the good things about my childhood. My family will bring something up and I have no idea what they are talking about. I find it odd that in reprressing the bad I also seemed to have repressed the good. The other thing I find unexplainable is why he would do something like that. I mean his father and a bunch of his father's friends raped him when he was 16 or 17, so he knew how much pain it would cause. Why would anyone want to inflict that pain on another knowing what its like is beyond me, especially when it's your own child. Okay I remembered a 3rd thing that is unexplainable to me. If you are already using physical and emotional abuse then why use sexual as well?

 

When I was in my teens and on into my adult years, actually until I met my husband, sex was a way of gaining love from men. In my screwed up mind that was how life worked. In order to get a man to love you you had to give it up. You would think that I would have learned long ago that that wasn't the way considering how many I had been with and how few had loved me. I of course didn't realize that I was actually thinking this way, must have been subconscious. It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that I was thinking that way. I won't lie I enjoyed sex once I was about 23 but before that it was yeah whatever. Now that I'm with my husband and I know that I can trust him and that sex was not how I won him over or got him to love me sex is something I not only enjoy but I enjoy it immensely.

 

Well that's my story in a nut-shell. I could keep going and going with all of this but I'll leave it alone for now. Again :confused0006: :confused0006: :yes2: to my fellow survivors.

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just to say yes i have. sorry but i really don't fel like writing about it right now, but i will

tweets :confused0006:

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SN...Honey I dont know what to say except that you inspire me...I think your strength is out of this world....I raise my glass to you for overcoming something so horrendous...Your post gave me the strength to post this...

 

 

About 6 yrs ago now...I was still married to my ex...One night we and his best friend were partying at the house...A little back ground...My ex and I were swingers and we had 3somes with his bf a few times...So that as nothing new...Anyway..Ohh god...This is so hard... :confused0006:...

 

I cant do it...Sorry..

 

Ok...Sorry...I had to stop...I just had to gather my thoughts...

 

Anyway...As I was saying...A 3some with him wasnt anything that hadnt happened before...We all actually had lots of fun with it...It started off as it usually does...Well after a little while I decided that I was done and didnt want to play anymore...My ex was pissed...He said to me..."Well I told *BF*..That you wanted to play all nite and thats what we are gonna do!!"....He grabbed me and threw me face down on the bed...He preceded to hold my arms and push my face into the bed while his BF sodomized me...The whole time Im crying and begging them to stop...That it hurt sooo bad...They took turns doing that to me for an hr or longer...Im not sure...By the end I was covered in...Well lets not go there...All I could do was cry...After they stopped they gave each other high 5's and patted me on the head and back saying that I was great and to give up the act...All I could do was lay there and sob...After I heard them leave the bedroom I got up and walked to the bathroom..I stayed in the shower for a long time...Trying to feel clean and wash away the horror that I felt...I knew in my heart that I was just raped again by 2 people who I thought cared about me...His BF was the best man at our wedding and GodFather to our children...Also this was my HUSBAND!!...How could I say anything to anyone...No one would believe me especially if our lifestyle came out...I was horrified...Ive NEVER told this to anyone...NO ONE knows this...Except now...Because of this I started in a spirl downward in depression...I went on meds and went off because they made it worse...Dec 27th 2000 I tried to commit suicide because of this and other things...My marriage to him cripped along for a few more months when I finally walked out...I couldnt take it anymore..The more I seen him the more I would remember that nite and other things...2 days after our 6 yr wedding anniversary I left him...

 

I dont know if this will help anyone...But it does feel good to finally burst this horrible bubble Ive had inside me for a long time...Im ashamed of what happened...I still have a fear of doing it like that...But with the help of my sweet husband now...Im slowly over coming it...I can say that now I enjoy anal sex...But only with his love can I do it...But for the longest time I couldnt...It would bring back that memory and threaten my very sanity...I know that sounded a bit dramatic...But it did...I could feel my mind slipping back to that dark room and the pain that I went thru...Hearing their laughter and grunts...*Im sitting here shivering just thinking about it*...I know that this isnt as horrible as some of you have went thru...Im just glad to know that Im not the only one this has ever happened to...

 

 

Ok I have to stop now...Or Im gonna cry again..

Edited by WyldeGirl03
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OMG Wylde ... hun I'm holding you while you cry ..... I'm holding you while you wail and thrash.

 

Your strenghth and humour that you display in your posts are testamount to how much you've survived and how much you is unhurt ... the best and biggest part of you remains whole, proud, passionate and rightly flaming angry ....

 

I'm so happy you've been able to let this out and I hope it speeds being able to fill yourself up with healing. (that makes sense at this end).

 

:hysterical: :hug: :hysterical: :hug: :hug:

Edited by 121123jaguar
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I was raped my 2nd semester of college. I was living on my own in the dorms and really enjoying life. I had broken up with my bf at the time (it was for the best). My roomie at the time thought it would be a good idea to play match maker with one of her new friends. Well she introduced the two of us and well, let's just say he took advantage of me in just about every possible way, sexually. I felt terrible after it and told my roomie about what had happened. The two of us made the treck to talk with someone with the university police. They got my side of the story and his. He DENIED EVERYTHING. He even broke down crying in front of the cops. How pathetic is that? The university police was like well sorry we can't help you out. Have a nice day. I was a mess! Luckily I was able to talk to dr's on campus for free about what had happened. I was on anti depressants for awhile and I got over what had happened. I lost trust with people for the longest time and I consider my self truly blessed to be with the guy I'm dating right now. And I'm also glad I found this site so I can truly express who I am.

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I have trouble remembering even the good things about my childhood. My family will bring something up and I have no idea what they are talking about. I find it odd that in reprressing the bad I also seemed to have repressed the good.

 

sex was a way of gaining love from men. In my screwed up mind that was how life worked. In order to get a man to love you you had to give it up. You would think that I would have learned long ago that that wasn't the way considering how many I had been with and how few had loved me. I of course didn't realize that I was actually thinking this way, must have been subconscious. It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that I was thinking that way. I won't lie I enjoyed sex once I was about 23 but before that it was yeah whatever. Now that I'm with my husband and I know that I can trust him and that sex was not how I won him over or got him to love me sex is something I not only enjoy but I enjoy it immensely.

 

 

SN your story really touched me. Especially because it reminds me of myself. While I have no memory or no real proof of it, I believe that I was molested as a child. I have only talked to one or two people about this. One of whom is my older sister who feels the same way as me. I have blocked out almost an entire year of my childhood. During this time our babysitters were a couple that my parents knew from bowling. I never ever have any memories of being in their house. But several years later when my sis and I were on a junior bowling league we ran into this couple on a weekly basis. Everytime they would come near to me I would get such a weird feeling. My skin would crawl and all I could think of was getting away from them. A few years ago when I was talking to my sis about this she revealed that she had always felt that way as well. On an occassion or two my mom has said that they didn't do a good job taking care of us, but that is all she ever says about it. My sis and I developed into the 2 classical types of molestation victims. She became depressed and anti-social spending most of her time locked in her room. I became the overly compensating outgoing want everyone to love me.

 

One thing that really brought this feeling out in me was in college. I was at a student government weekend event. They had a hypnotist there as entertainment. I was in a small group session with him and he was hyptnotizing people. I was about to be hypnotized and the split second before I would have "went under" I had an unexplicable, all consuming fear come over me. The fear was that I would be sexually abused if I was hypnotized. This was completely irrational due to being in a room filled with people and such. That fear could have been from my other experiences, but I don't believe so.

 

Also as a child I seemed to always know more about sex than anyone else. My mom was very open about it, but even before she told me about it. I knew what exactly was involved and how things were done. I knew way too much for an average child. When I became a teenager, I like SN used sex as a way to get men to like me. I felt like it was something I had to do for them to love me.

 

So anyway this is a lot of rambling for just a hunch. Like I said I have no memory of it and no proof. But it is something that for one reason or other I can not shake. Maybe like SN, someday the memories of that time of my life will come back to me so I can know for sure.

 

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

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Wylde, I feel so much for you right now. What you had to go through was so horrible, words don't even come to my mind. Please don't compare what you went through to any of the rest of us and think it wasn't as bad, rape is rape no matter how it is committed. I can't imagine what you went through and how awful it must have been. You are such a strong woman to have overcome that, you should be proud of yourself for all that you have accomplished and for meeting such a wonderful guy who loves you so much.

 

I am always here for you if you ever need me.

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Thank you Jag and Sam for your kind words...Thru the love and patience my new hubby has shown me I have been able to over come what happened that horrible nite...Thanks to you ladies who shown me support too...I have to say Im a little brighter now that I talked about it...Thanks for not thinking me overly dramatic...Its just how I felt sometimes...Im so glad that I found this site and all you wonderful ladies...Ya'll give me the strength to be me and able to talk about things like this...I love you all dearly...:( To each and everyone of you...To all of you who have endured the horror of rape and being able to share your experiences with us...To show that you are strong enough to go on...To not let it bring you down...You ladies are my inspiration...:( :( :(

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I've been raped. I was 18.

 

My parents had a place in spain which we went out to every year. One year met a group of army lads, well one nice one, by the pool.

 

As we got chatting they'd only been there a few days and as I knew the town very well I offered to take them round the town. The guy I liked came back with me to meet mum and dad and explained who he was, showed him id (he was quite sweet) Dad agreed I could take them into town.

 

We had a great time drank lots, (possibly little bit too much). Some of them went off to play pool and the rest of us went back up to the village we were staying in. I remember the one I liked going upstairs, and I fell asleep on the sofa. next thing I knew I was woken by someone on top of me, it was one of the other lads he had my hands and threatened to hurt me if I made a noise. I remember he had tattoos all over his forearms (amazing what you remember).

 

When he finished I went upstairs and told Paul the one I like and burst into tears. We went down to the village where the senior rank of their group was and told him. We chatted, I said I just wanted to go home I felt awful and disgusting.

 

Paul came and saw me the next day, we went for a walk on the beach and asked me if I wanted to get the police involved and had I informed mum and dad, I told him I hadn't and I didn't know what to do..

 

He told me that the lads wanted to deal with it their way, the army way, and hold a kangeroo court on him when he got back, I wanted out of spain as quick as possible so I agreed . Paul say me every day for the rest of the time he was there and wrote to me every week for two years, he had a girlfriend and I met her too she was really nice.

 

When they got back to base camp in England they held a kangeroo court on him, (not that I agree with violence), his fiancee was told, a couple of the guys beat him up and he was eventually kicked out of the army for a similar offence, but that time he had almost killed the girl.

 

I don't regret my decision and it was only through my boyfriend's and paul's help at the time I got through it and it made me a stronger person , the person I am today. I was lucky I didn't get an std, or pregnant or a knife to my throat or anything like that, an non violent as a rape can be, for which I'm thankful that I didn't have to go through that additional trauma.

 

but it is with me every day. I'll never forget it, and from then on never allowed myself to get into that position where I could have been taken advantage of.

 

Roxy

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It's horrible what some of us have to go through in life. It's saddening but also a comfort to know you are not suffering alone....thank you girls.

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My heart goes out to all of you who have shared your stories. I know it wasn't easy to share them, but your stories really help others who hurt like you do find comfort in knowing they're not alone. ***HUGS*** I don't think my story really counts as "rape" but it was the unwanted sexual attention that resulted in physical and emotional pains that haunt me even after three and a half years.

 

Background: I grew up in a very strict religious family and only dated when I could sneak out of my mom's house. By the time I entered college (age 19), the worst I'd ever done with a guy was some heavy breast-petting over clothes and had never even seen a penis outside of a Hustler magazine I'd found the summer before.

 

I met "N" my first day of college and for the first four months ouf our relationship he was a perfect gentlemen to me. He respected my religious beliefs and treated me like a lady... Then around November he started guilting me into oral sex, telling me that it was a girlfriend's "duty" and since I never steadily dated I obviously didn't know that. Reluctantly I did as he told me, and any protests resulted in emotional and sometimes even physical abuse. He didn't allow me to make any friends short of co-workers and my room mate, so I had a very lonely semester...

 

Looking back I don't understand why I didn't break up with him then before it got worse, but being in a small private college... rumors traveled faster than the flu and to have everyone know what I had been doing-- and worse, my family find out-- was more shame than I could bear. So it continued, stopping only for Christmas break when we didn't see each other for a month. During this time I convinced myself that what we did wasn't that bad, that he was "teaching" me and just lost his patience with my ignorance.

 

I came back to college with a brighter outlook on our relationship and we went off to one of our favorite spots to make out and such. I'd gotten a bottle of massage oil from a girl in my dorm for Christmas, so I asked "N" to use it on me. He took the directions too literally... After my back massage, he began fondeling me roughly... then proceded to relocate the bottle to an area where it didn't belong. I remember crying out in pain, begging him to stop but instead he threw his coat over my head and used an arm to hold me down. Afterwards he told me I enjoyed it and dared me to tell anyone (leaving bruises on my wrist as a reminder). After that I never wanted to be alone with him because it usually resulted in another "taboo insert" in one place or another...

 

Long story short, I finally found the courage (thanks to a friend) to break up with him, informing him that if he ever spoke to me again I'd take the poloroids of the bruises and such I had to the cops (I didn't have any) and have his ass thrown in jail. He hasn't spoken to me since. It's been three and a half years since then. I'm older, wiser, and all that... I still have nightmares sometimes, and I flinch every time someone grabs my wrists or back. Before I blamed myself for being so stupid, but thanks to my friend-turned-boyfriend, I can now say that it was "N" to blame, not me.

 

I really like this thread... I hate what's happened to everyone, but to know you're not alone makes a world of difference.

 

~Janne

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Hello Janne

 

I'm so glad you're out of that situation, you're story is a little different from others and made me stop and pause and reassess my own level risk awarenes today ... and that's because you had a great relationship and then he changed.

 

So my question (not for you in particular Janne, but for all over and myself also) is when do you trust the man in your life or do you always have to be alert for signs of malignant agression?

 

Thanks for sharing your story Janne .... you are not alone honey. :heart:

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My situation is rather different but it has definitely affected me considerably and I wonder if I will ever get past it - though I really want to.

 

It happened when I was in Standard 5 or 7th Grade. I lead a very closeted life and hardly knew anything about sex at that age.

 

The story started in such a silly random way when i think about it but it al kinda went downhill from there. One guy in my class at school teased me and said he saw me kissing an ex "boyfriend" outside the local supermarket, and said I was a lousy kisser. Obviously I had not kissed said person outside the store but wanted to protect my kissing ability all the same. So he said I should prove it to him which sounded like a nice safe idea to me at the time. So we met after school in an abandoned classroom and kissed a little. It all seemed fine and maybe like it would be a young romance starting. After that we passed notes in class and carried on sneaking off the the classroom after school. I think I mainly went because I was desperate for attention and thought that it was a real relationship, although nothing happened outside of this situation.

 

Anyway, things progressed and this guy tried things that I was not comfortable with. Touched me where I didnt want to be touched and "encouraged" me to do the same. The crazy thing is that I resisted and then let him. And there was no feeling in it for me at all, I mean I got no pleasure out of it, I was pretty underdeveloped and he was pretty advanced I think. Things the way they were we once got interupted by a younger student coming into the class, the guy paid him not to tell anyone anything and probably threatened him too, he was kinda intimidating.

 

So for some crazy desperate reason I kept going back, agreeing to these little meetings, hoping something real would come out of it. On one particular day it got really bad, the guy pushed me onto a table and climbed on top of me. It took me a while to figure out that this wasn't really a good idea although I wasn't really sure what he was trying to do. Once I figured it out I pushed him off me and ran.

 

Now this is where the worst part of it comes. I told my supposed best friend in confidence what had happened and asked her not to share it. Somehow she told everyone and then there came this big conflict and confrontation. At the end of the day he denied even having had kissed me and everyone believed him instead of me. Even my best friend and other friends chose the popular guys story over mine. The worst part is the whole thing had been going on for some weeks and everyone that sat near us knew we passed notes now somehow "forgot". Even the guy who was bribed earlier claimed no involvement.

 

This is where my issues started, cuz people started regarding me as a dirty minded girl who spread stories. The following year I went to High School and was in a boarding establishment with his older sister and female good friend. The both told everyone new there his side of the story and I spent the year being told I was a slut and a whore and having horrible annonmous letters sent to me. Luckily at the end of that year our family moved for other reasons and I was at least able to have the last four years of high school relatively normal.

 

It seems like such a simple childish thing now but the effects are so great - still now when I am 23. I watched North Country and cried and cried because I knew exaclty how she felt with no one believing her at all. I keep hoping I can contact him and give him a piece of my mind, now that I know what really happened and can make better sense of it I want to really tell him what I loser he is. The last I heard from a friend in the old neighbourhood is that he has put on a lot of weight, so at least thats a comfort that hopefully he won't be able to attract and harm any more girls.

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So my question (not for you in particular Janne, but for all over and myself also) is when do you trust the man in your life or do you always have to be alert for signs of malignant agression?

 

Trusting the man in my life? Interesting question. I've had a hard time trusting any man in my life, not just ones that I was involved with, but family members as well. Even tho I didn't remember anything of what happened until a few years ago I have still spent my life not trusting men, not trusting most people in fact. Even now i have a hard time trusting people. My parents (mom and step-dad) have been together for 17 years. They were together for probably close to 10 years before I even began to trust my dad completely. As far as the current (and hopefully last) man in my life, I trust him with my whole heart and mind. How I got to this point I'll never guess. That's kind of what makes your question so interesting is because I don't know when I started trusting him or how. It could be becasue I've known his father for a lot longer than I've known him, and that I knew his grandfather and know what type of men they are. It could just be that instinctually I knew that it was ok to trust him because I cannot remember a time when I didn't trust him. It could be because he's always treated me with respect. It could be because he's stood with me thru thick and thin and agrees whole heartedly with me on touchy subjects such as these. Now that I've thought about it and types all this I think that honestly I can't answer your question because it may just be that it's a personal matter for each individual. Just my thoughts on the subject tho.

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I could not read any more. This is a sad world that we live in...

 

I know the topic of this thread is rape, and while I was not raped, I thought I would share my story.

 

Sometimes, as a victim of molestation, I feel that we are not given as much attention as those (men and women) who are raped. I am not saying this to downplay or minimize the significance of being raped; though I was molested, I consider myself blessed for never having to go through that. However, I feel that in some (and let me repeat, some) people's minds, victims of molestation are insignificant because we were not penetrated. But let me tell you, this type of sexual abuse can cut deep too.

 

From what I can remember (and this is usually what I tell people-this is not the first time I have told my story), it started when I was nine years old. I know it ended the summer of 2001-I was 14 by then. My cousin, who is the same age as me (2 months older), began playing this game with me, my bro, and his younger sister called "Hug Around". Someone would be in the middle of the circle, and whenever I was in the middle, he would make sure he was right behind me, so that he could grind against me. I don't think I really understood it then. It always happened when I was alone, and my mom never knew until I told her about a year after it ended (like someone else mentioned, she was a single working mom, and my cousin and I were usually alone, so how could she have known?). I remember once when we were 11, he tried to penetrate my anus, but seeing as he was still young, he couldn't really do anything (thank God). I remember thinking, "Oh my God, what if I get pregnant? Someone will find out!" Of course, I know now that ya can't get preggers from anal sex, lol (just a moment of levity within a very serious topic). He was never violent, but I can still hear his voice when he wanted me to be in a certain position "Bend down." or "Turn over".

 

If this sounds to some of you that I am detached from my experience, part of it is because, thanks to God, I have healed from this experience. Of course, I can still feel it emotionally, when I look back, but it is not a part of me in the same way that it would be for someone who has not found that healing yet. I thank God for my healing. I think the complete process was finished just before I left for Italy. I went to church before going to JFK airport, and my cousin was in church as well. My pastor called up people for something (I don't remember what specifically, but it was for prayer) and my cousin went up. As he was going back to his seat (me and my mom were more in the front; he was in the back cuz he came later than us), I could see that he had been crying really hard. He walked up to my mom, and hugged her crying. At this point, I still had not shed a tear. Then he came to hug me, and as soon as I felt his embrace, the tears rolled down my cheeks-they flowed. He told me he was proud of me (he dropped out of college last year; and he knew I was going to Italy...he's been living with us since Nov. 05) and that he loved me. I have never hated him; I only hate the experience. I think my own personal experience has helped me in that I don't hate those who do that to people; I pity them, and hope that somehow they get the help they need. Because in truth, that is what they need.

 

I was also molested by my younger brother, but only for the summer of 2001. That experience was significantly different from the one with my cousin, and I'm not sure why. With my cousin, I never felt disgusted, as some of you ladies describe (at least, not around him). With my brother, I couldn't stand touching him at all. :air_kiss: I think maybe it's because he was more agressive. Again, I was never hurt physically (or even verbally), but I remember one day, while my mom was at work, my brother actually chased me through the house. I went into my mom's room and tried to lock the door, but we lived in an apartment (for the first time) and the way they made the locks, they opened easily. Then I tried to take a shower. He came into the bathroom, got undressed and got in the shower with me. Thinking about it even now makes me feel disgusting. I think another reason for my change in feelings between the 2 experiences is the fact that my brother is closer related to me than my cousin, so that somehow makes it more "nasty" I guess. I don't know. I do think I have begun healing from this one (its a bit harder as I'm sure you can imagine), but I don't know when it will come full force.

 

I must say, before I go though, that I admire each and every one of you ladies that has a story. Whether raped or molested, we can overcome. :hyper:

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Oh Wylde the way your mom reacted sounds something my mother would have done. You didnt get what you deserve. :hyper: I hate people that say shit like that and just assume that it was the girls fault.Curling up in a ball sounds so familiar.I wish i could be there in person to hug you or hold you,whatever you needed. I have been in your position many times. Not the exact scenario but enough that i understand.I would say i have been raped at least 4 or 5 times.

 

Your hubby if he truly is worthy of your love he will probably just hold you, or say it is ok. God i always cry :hyper::air_kiss: when i read rape stories.Especially when it is someone i know on a forum. :hyper:

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I could not read any more. This is a sad world that we live in...

 

I know the topic of this thread is rape, and while I was not raped, I thought I would share my story.

 

Sometimes, as a victim of molestation, I feel that we are not given as much attention as those (men and women) who are raped. I am not saying this to downplay or minimize the significance of being raped; though I was molested, I consider myself blessed for never having to go through that. However, I feel that in some (and let me repeat, some) people's minds, victims of molestation are insignificant because we were not penetrated. But let me tell you, this type of sexual abuse can cut deep too.

 

Bless your heart hun... and I know what you mean by victims of such things not getting the attention they deserve. IMO, there shouldn't be "degrees" of how horrible an unwanted sexual experience is. Rape, molesting, all that leave the same scars... though granted a lot more problems can arise due to rape, like STDs, pregnancy, etc. But you know what I mean.

 

I told my best friend what happened to me because she was friends with both of us at the time and I was afraid he might try to hurt her as well. Well, it turned out she went and told him everything I'd said and he told her that I loved every minute of it and begged for it!!! Then the two started becoming super-chummy and when I confronted her about it, she said, "Well, it's not like he raped you or something." :air_kiss:

 

**hugs** It's a shitty world we live in, isn't it?

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I told my best friend what happened to me because she was friends with both of us at the time and I was afraid he might try to hurt her as well. Well, it turned out she went and told him everything I'd said and he told her that I loved every minute of it and begged for it!!! Then the two started becoming super-chummy and when I confronted her about it, she said, "Well, it's not like he raped you or something." :th_c4814252:

 

**hugs** It's a shitty world we live in, isn't it?

 

oh my God!!!! :clapping: I absolutely can NOT believe that... :happy0005: (that is supposed to be an angry scream, but shy's doesnt have one of those...)

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Oh Wylde the way your mom reacted sounds something my mother would have done. You didnt get what you deserve. :happy0005: I hate people that say shit like that and just assume that it was the girls fault.Curling up in a ball sounds so familiar.I wish i could be there in person to hug you or hold you,whatever you needed. I have been in your position many times. Not the exact scenario but enough that i understand.I would say i have been raped at least 4 or 5 times.

 

Your hubby if he truly is worthy of your love he will probably just hold you, or say it is ok. God i always cry :diablo: :grin: when i read rape stories.Especially when it is someone i know on a forum. :th_c4814252:

 

 

Thank you Amber...My DH now is a wonderful man...He is understanding,caring,loving and he completely understands about what happended to me...It did/does still have a impact in my relationship with my mom..I love my mother...Dont get me wrong but there is a little part of me who hates her for what she said...I think the biggest part of it was when she told me I deserved it and didnt believe me when I said I needed to go to the doc because something was wrong with me...The first rape gave me a STD...:sad:...I had to go to the local health dept for treatment because I couldnt get her to take me to the actual doctor...But anyway...Enough of that...*Im gonna cry*...Thank you for the long distance hugs...I wish I could be there to do the same for you darlin...I hope that life gets better for you sweetie...:clapping: :yahoo: :hug: :hug:

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OK Im not sure if ive posted here already,if i have then i appologise.

 

Ok i was repeatedly raped when i was 16 by my boyfriend at the time he was 19. I spent 2yrs with him because i was frightened to leave. For those 2 yrs i was subjected to sexual,mental,emotional and phisical abuse. I eventually walked out of his house one day after realising i was more scared of him killing me than i was of leaving. All i had said was that i wanted to go home for the night and he went mad and it eneded up with me curled up in a little ball in the corner with him kicking shit out of me..he started appologising and i told him that this time it wouldnt wash and tried to leave again and he picked up his typewriter and threw it at me, that was it i ran from the house hysterical,with him following me all the way attacking me,it takes 15 mins to get from his house to my parents and i didnt think i was going to make it,that was untill a passerbye stopped and helped me

I eventually had to get an injunction to stop him following me ect

Up untill last yr i still blamed myself for what happened,but i know now that the fault wasnt mine it was his

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this is a whole huge issue for me right now.

 

for me my nightmare started when i was 6 my mums friend used to mind me back then, he was a great guy (or so everybody though, i was the only one who knew differently)

 

this friend of my mums abused me for 2 years, and though he never sued his penis to enter me, he did use other things. this still torments me to this day. it has left me with various mental health problems which im trying to overcome, i dont want him to win over me.

 

as a teenager growing up, i tried to distance myself as much as possible, and overcome a the phobia i had of men, i slept around so much i lost all my self esteem.

 

however now as i said above im trying to piece back my life, iv let him win for to long.

 

i know i havent said that much but its all i acn do at the moment

 

hugs to everyone

 

lyndsay

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To Lyndou say and Mentle ...

 

 

 

My heart goes out to you girls ..... I'm so glad you're out of your misery now ... and have both found Shybi's and are able to share .... I hope this allows you some release and for all our stories to keep us talking up the issues of womens' rights and womens safety ...

 

 

 

You girls are in my thoughts ... sending you lots of hugs and love :dance: :grin: :air_kiss: :hug:

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