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What Do You Think About Long Distance Relationship?

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I personally don't mind it. But what is your take on that?

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Not my cup of tea.

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Nope, not at all. If I can't have someone in the flesh then I'm not interested. Being with someone physically is the most important thing for me and is what separates them from just a platonic friend...

 

"Emotional" connections are not enough. The fun and attraction for me is the physical intimacy... Personally I always think there are plenty of people who are suited to us, so why on earth would I be satisfied with someone who so far away!!

Edited by Shananigansxxx
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Having not long been out if a long distance relationship I can say they suck big hairy yucky balls! I don't think I would ever do long distance again, it's just too hard

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I have had two long distance; obviously not near as good as physical. But, they were wonderful friends and it works when you're on Shybi-especially the Shy part.

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I had a long distance relationship for 5 years. He lived across the country and was a frequently deployed Marine to boot. It was tough, and not without its problems. We were young and we both strayed. We made horrible mistakes. We broke up after 5 years, had a loooong break for 8 years after that, then got together again and now we're married!

 

LDRs can have surprising benefits though if you're willing to do it. I truly believe it allowed my husband and I to connect on a deeper level than anyone else I know. The lack of physical contact forced us to know each other inside completely without sex influencing our feelings. Now that we're together, we appreciate each other's presence because we know what it's like to go without it. We don't take each other for granted. Even when I'm mad at him, I get over it quickly, because our time apart makes me remember how precious each day is and how stupid it is to waste it on petty differences.

 

My advice for anyone in or thinking of being in a LDR is be open and honest, have lots of phone (or video--we didn't have that back then!) sex, and maybe try not to let it go on for as long as we did. Five years is probably WAY too much, lol.

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The majority of long distance relationships don't work out for various reasons. The longer you're apart and the less you know each other before you are geographically separated, the lower the odds of success. They come with a lot of heartache, loneliness and longing. They can intensify jealousy and trust issues, which are toxic to any normal relationship but even moreso when you're apart from your partner.

 

After over 4 years of a really long distance relationship I would say I would do it again for my husband, because I went into it knowing we have something special that can beat the odds, but I also knew the risk. Looking back, the only good thing that came out the distance was that it built an extremely solid base of trust and faith in our relationship. We could have ended this any time things got hard, but we didn't.

 

I never wanted to be in a LDR before I met my husband. I endured it just because he was worth it, and now I can safely say I would never do this again for anyone else, especially not for as long as I did.

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I haven't looked at the statistics on LDRs, but I wouldn't doubt it. I'm curious what the rate of failure for relationships is in general though. All relationships have risks.

 

LDRs are definitely not suited for some people, but they may be suited to others. If you look at history and different cultures, there's all kinds of ways that relationships are formed, some that we ourselves could never imagine being able to be ok with, but who's to say unless you've been through it? I had a friend growing up whose parents were brought together by an arranged marriage. I don't think I'd be ok with that, it's not in my nature to have any aspect of my life controlled by someone else, but maybe it works for some. *shrug*

 

What I can say is that my personality was probably well-suited for a LDR. I've never been a social butterfly and never will be. I was shy, grew up with my nose in a book, and found someone that was the same way. Being able to exchange long letters, have deep phone conversations without the pressures of normal social environments, etc was nice for us. I'll be the first to admit our relationship is not normal, but I wouldn't take it back or skip past all that even if I could.

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Been there, tried it, is very expensive but possible. You just need to have the money and time to be able to see each other in the flesh every so often rather than relying on Skype or calling. Easier to have a long-distance relationship if you met in person first, and then separate for a bit. Otherwise it takes a lot longer to learn about a person.

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when i was younger and up until a few years ago i could handle it, but i'm very over it. the distance between my boyfriend and i is distance enough and we live in the same city.

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I had a long distance relationship for 5 years. He lived across the country and was a frequently deployed Marine to boot. It was tough, and not without its problems. We were young and we both strayed. We made horrible mistakes. We broke up after 5 years, had a loooong break for 8 years after that, then got together again and now we're married!

 

LDRs can have surprising benefits though if you're willing to do it. I truly believe it allowed my husband and I to connect on a deeper level than anyone else I know. The lack of physical contact forced us to know each other inside completely without sex influencing our feelings. Now that we're together, we appreciate each other's presence because we know what it's like to go without it. We don't take each other for granted. Even when I'm mad at him, I get over it quickly, because our time apart makes me remember how precious each day is and how stupid it is to waste it on petty differences.

 

My advice for anyone in or thinking of being in a LDR is be open and honest, have lots of phone (or video--we didn't have that back then!) sex, and maybe try not to let it go on for as long as we did. Five years is probably WAY too much, lol.

 

WOW! That's awesome! I am definitely more open and I am very honest when it comes to LDR.. but at the same time, not putting my hopes up high. I am glad it worked out for you! :)

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It's not the ideal situation but doable when it's the right person.

Edited by PT2BE
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I found it pretty hard- and expensive!

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It's definitely difficult and not for everyone, but if you know that you and your partner have something special, distance isn't something you'll let stand in the way! It helps knowing when the long distance will end, too. I was in and LDR that had no end in sight, and it was incredibly tough not knowing how long we'd have to endure it. With my wife, however, we both agreed that within a year we would be together, and it happened! Having that countdown made it easier.

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How much do both parties value the relationship? That's the real question and if the relationship is of sufficient value then you will make it work whatever the obstacles. I speak from long experience of a long distance relationship. While it is far from the ideal situation to be in, we both value what we have together and the end goal is to reduce the physical distance in the relationship to zero... :firstmove:

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This is not for me

I need a person near me

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I recently got out a long distance (whatever it was), & I wouldn't mind doing it again. Like Adrienne, my personality is well-suited: I'm shy & I enjoy writing long letters & having meaningful phone conversations. I'm not a social butterfly either, so I'm actually fine with seeing someone once or twice a month.

 

With that said, my only issue is: the other person tends to not be committed & either asks to become non-exclusive or we break up. If I could find someone loyal, with whom I have great chemistry & interesting conversations (long-distance & in person), that would be great! ^.^

 

For now, I'd rather stay single & relax. :)

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They very seldom work.

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I'm in a long distance relationship. Not transatlantic though. Just 8 hours drive away. I wish my girl was nearer but I love planning out dates and putting all the thought into it xxx

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It depends on your goal of the relationship. If you want to have a casual relationship & just have fun, then there is no point. You will spend half your life texting & emailing & missing what is right in front of you. If you are looking for a serious relationship & set telling down... Then I think it is worth it. Your soulmate probably doesn't live in your zip code. My husband was 7 hours away from me for the first 2 years of our relationship. It was hard, but so worth it.

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In general terms, I am not a fan, I avoid it if I can, and I do not think it is for me at all.

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Long distance relationships.. It's not a goal of mine to have them, but I have had a fair amount of them in my life lol.

 

It depends what you're wanting, and how good you are at communication. LDR's take much more time involving communication and often involve less physical time together.

I personally find them wonderful for relationship building, because you are forced to talk, a lot. You have to put extra effort into learning about the other person. You don't learn their mannerisms, or facial expressions, or habits they have (good and bad). Not as quickly anyway. So, you learn to read them in a different way. It makes you treasure the time you do get together much more too, certainly can't take them for granted. I'd obviously prefer them to be closeby and able to see them on a more regular basis, but I can handle an LDR. Within reason though. I've learnt that different timezones aren't good. It's just too much to juggle, whilst still maintaining your own life too.

I look at cost too, rather than distance/time. I've got all the time in the world to travel if I need too, but that's only useful if I can afford it.

 

I'm in an LDR with my girlfriend, and it's not too far by distance. I'd much rather her be closer, but I love her and she's everything I could ever want. Just means we make our dates even more special :)

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Depends on the person and what you want out of it

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ohhhhh goodness.

13+ years, about 2,000 miles away and still going strong.

our 'real life' meetings are too far and few between, but no matter, the commitment is there.

we're not wallflowers either.

yes, it's a lot of work. sometimes a real pain in the ass. but, at least for us, worth it.

the shit just recently hit the fan. one of us got caught chatting online by the paper spouse.

at this point? no biggie. the kids are all grown, although we were hoping to get one just a year or two farther down the line,

a little more comfy in college life.

the paper spouse who busted the chatting has insisted on marriage counseling. this after about 11 years or zero physical touch.

really? stupid, stupid, stupid. just did us both the favor of initiating the divorce proceedings.

not great timing, we both have a child graduating college now, wanted to keep that sane and carefree, also had family vacations that we wanted our kids to enjoy, but oh well, so it goes. stay tuned my friends. or not. shake me if this bores the shit out of you.

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