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What Do You Think About Long Distance Relationship?

177 posts in this topic

depends what the distance is.. longest mine has been is 300 miles... we met on a chat room completely by chance.. :O we used to commute at weekends and time off... until one day we decided we'd had enough and she moved down.. and a year and a half later we both moved up :D

 

it can work if you're commited.. its not easy but if you really love that person then it's worth it... these days with the amount of ways to communicate its easier such as facetime, skype and the rest of them because you can see each other rather then just speak on a phone :D

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I've been learning a lot about long distance relationships lately, by being in one.

 

My girlfriend lives 500 miles away. Well 498 but who's counting! ;) We've been figuring out how to make our long distance relationship work over the last 2 months. It's not easy! I miss her every single day and wish I could just see her and be with her but we've got some of our own little ways that make it work until we can be together again. We have movie dates. We will watch the same movie at the same time, pressing play at the same time and talk about it, we send each other little poems or quotes that remind us of each other and our relationship. Dedicate songs to each other which we then add to our playlists, her's on youtube and mine on spotify and we listen to them when ever we miss each other, we send random videos and voice clips on whatsapp and try to talk on the phone when we can and also spend LOADS of time planning our dates so that they are perfect when we do see each other. It's not easy doing long distance but it can really work if you both want it to, but above EVERYTHING else communication is so important. We are still new as a couple, but we're learning more and more how we need to communicate.

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ohhhhh goodness.

13+ years, about 2,000 miles away and still going strong.

our 'real life' meetings are too far and few between, but no matter, the commitment is there.

we're not wallflowers either.

yes, it's a lot of work. sometimes a real pain in the ass. but, at least for us, worth it.

the shit just recently hit the fan. one of us got caught chatting online by the paper spouse.

at this point? no biggie. the kids are all grown, although we were hoping to get one just a year or two farther down the line,

a little more comfy in college life.

the paper spouse who busted the chatting has insisted on marriage counseling. this after about 11 years or zero physical touch.

really? stupid, stupid, stupid. just did us both the favor of initiating the divorce proceedings.

not great timing, we both have a child graduating college now, wanted to keep that sane and carefree, also had family vacations that we wanted our kids to enjoy, but oh well, so it goes. stay tuned my friends. or not. shake me if this bores the shit out of you.

 

You have had a gf for 13 years as well as being married? Thats amazing.

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As long as you can close the distance at some point then I could do long distance. It's very draining to miss someone all the time and not being there when they need you. If it lasts too long it seems you are always attached to your phone or computer. That steers your focus away from real life and you can get lost.

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I am not interested in a long distance relationship.

I would only consider a long distance relationship if it's for a short time, e.g. while my partner is looking for a job in my area.

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at this point i don't know yet. i just go with the flow.

i used to have long distance relationships in the past, over 12,000 miles away after i moved. it was insane at first. i had the feeling i'd jump through my computer or something. i got crazy at times because of the distance.

we tried to connect with each other a lot on the phone, on the computer, any mean we can, all day everyday. it's hard but it's worth it for the right person. i've learned a lot from those relationships, especially fix my commitment issues. one of them was my best relationship so far.

Edited by Ms.G
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You have had a gf for 13 years as well as being married? Thats amazing.

 

actually ruby, its a bf, not a gf. one of the million reasons why i love him so ,is because he accepts and supports my bisexuality. and he doesn't play the 'you have to let me bang her too' game.

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actually ruby, its a bf, not a gf. one of the million reasons why i love him so ,is because he accepts and supports my bisexuality. and he doesn't play the 'you have to let me bang her too' game.

 

That's brilliant! Xx

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Totally dependant on the person and past experiences. I am for it right now as I was in a 3 year relationship (which included long distance when I was at uni) and it was amazing at the beginning but hell as time went on. The guy was totally dependant on me and he really could not deal with long distance. Currently interested in a guy who lives in the States (I'm from the UK) and I could really see something working with him if we met up and decided we really wanted to be together. It can work if you make it work but it takes a lot of effort and there is pressure too. But again distance can be good for some people and not so good for others, personally I love my own space and being able to communicate and chat when it suits me and not feel smothered all the time.

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Personally I am not a fan of long-distance relationships either, I much prefer bonding with a person one-on-one and being face to face with someone than over phone calls and messaging. I don't believe in the long distance thing and avoid it as much as possible where I can, in my experience they just never work out.

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:wink:they can work just takes a little more effort

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LDR are difficult, but it all depends on what you want from a relationship.

 

Having tried, I'd say, doesn't last, but I guess it all depends on the people involved and how strong they are. Costs loads though. You need a healthy bank balance, and if you have kids, you have to be really careful not to neglect the kids by being on skype all the time.

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If two people find each other and they have that kind of connection then go for it. I personally have done it when I was in college and I moved away to go to school. I have to say it's way to hard for me.

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Personally for me, no. I need to have someone near me, or at least within the same state lol

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I think it's great to see so many women finding love/play friends on here.

 

Personally for me though, I don't think LDR would work for me. I don't see it meshing with my needs and so I wouldn't look for it. If it happenes, it happens, I guess, but I try not to pursue anything more than a friend with anyone more than 2 hours drive from me.

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I think trust is the main issue with them. Insecurity over trust can lead to developing all kinds of crazy behavior that could threaten the health of the relationship. Trust can mean a lot of things: 1) is the person cheating on me? 2) is this the right person for me? is this person worth it? 3) does this have a goal? Are we moving toward something?

 

I have generally been a trusting person when taking on any long distance relationships in the past, but if it turned out to be an untrustworthy person, I wasn't afraid to let it go. I think it has the potential if you are open to it and strong enough to handle it, to open you up to more options than what immediately surrounds you, and meeting someone you connect with stronger than people in your immediate vicinity would be the only reason to do it. And it can have the benefit of increasing communication and really getting to know one another, as has been mentioned.

Of course, I am sure if we asked our long distance love birds CallieCake, they would discuss the fact that trust was a big deal and the rollercoaster they went through.

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I think trust is the main issue with them. Insecurity over trust can lead to developing all kinds of crazy behavior that could threaten the health of the relationship. Trust can mean a lot of things: 1) is the person cheating on me? 2) is this the right person for me? is this person worth it? 3) does this have a goal? Are we moving toward something?

 

I have generally been a trusting person when taking on any long distance relationships in the past, but if it turned out to be an untrustworthy person, I wasn't afraid to let it go. I think it has the potential if you are open to it and strong enough to handle it, to open you up to more options than what immediately surrounds you, and meeting someone you connect with stronger than people in your immediate vicinity would be the only reason to do it. And it can have the benefit of increasing communication and really getting to know one another, as has been mentioned.

Of course, I am sure if we asked our long distance love birds CallieCake, they would discuss the fact that trust was a big deal and the rollercoaster they went through.

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I am, by nature, an affectionate and sensual person. Not being able to touch someone I want would be torture. I would not willingly enter a LDR, but if I was already in a relationship and circumstances required us to be apart, I would endure it, because I love them.

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I personally won't do any type of long distance relationship. I have to have the ability to be with the other person on a more regular basis. I cannot form online/phone only type relationships. It would be completely unfulfilling for me.

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I doubt anyone intends to get into a long distance relationship. It... just... happens... And as I said earlier, if the relationship is of sufficient value to both parties then you do whatever it takes to make it work.

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I did long distance for more than 2 years. It brought us closer together because we talked a lot about everything. I think it was important that we knew we had a future together in one place, otherwise it would not have worked. And even though it was very hard. We opened our relationship, because we both had and have no problem with poly relationship models, but even though we could have others we ended up not pursuing much outside relationships. I had a girlfriend but he said he wasn't interested in anyone else. He tried, he couldn't. We both got really depressed to the point that he spent more time at a friend's place than at home, because he couldn't stand that I wasn't there.

 

A friend of mine was in a long distance relationship for 3 years and with him it funnily enough worked well as long as they were apart. When they moved in together they kept dating for another year and then they broke up.

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LDRs are tough and realistically, it's not something anyone wants to knowingly get into.

my girly and I have been in an LDR for 3 and a half years now with the intention of eventually moving in with each other.

luckily for us we a) love to travel b) we have no other commitments to worry about (ie: kids, husband) c) we still live at home (which is lame on my end lol) but that gives us the financial freedom to travel.

 

Like it said.. it's tough though, communication is key, especially when I like to show my affection physically instead of verbally.. it's hard to do with 5 months in between of being together.

It is do-able though, it just takes a lot of patience.

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I think they can work with good communication etc.. Honestly though? I find even long distance friendships are torture for me. I can't tell you all the friendships I've made online where I just want to be able to meet for a drink or spend time together. I get so sad knowing I may never see people I connect with. I just want to be able to hug someone when there sad, sometimes words aren't what's needed, it really can limit the type of friend I can be...

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I never intended to get into a LDR but once the connection was made it was inevitable.

I think our relationship works because we both agreed we needed to make it "real world" as soon as possible so despite the Atlantic ocean we met up within 3 months.

 

In the past 18 months we have spent 5 wonderful holidays together. We may not see each other for another 6 months (unless there is a lottery win) but knowing that in 12 months time we will be together forever makes it bearable.

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The benefits:

you are not living out of each others pockets

meeting up for sexolidays is exciting - the anticipation

 

The downside:

expensive

and can become boring very quickly if you don't stimulate each others minds - because minds are all you have to play with (majority of the time)

 

A stimulated mind is such an aphrodisiac - it's out of this world! Just imagine tucking each other in with poetry and stories. Having long philosophical discussions and stimulating debates. Of course nothing beats being together in person (but I'd hate living out of each others pockets).

 

Some everyday real life relationships could benefit from being LDR's. They have their place.

I've never regretted having an LDR.

But for me. I'm not going back to that kind of situation.

Edited by Enzi
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