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What Do You Think About Long Distance Relationship?

168 posts in this topic

In my lifetime I've been in 2. The first one was only 200 miles. My current one is 3500 miles. But my second and current releationship is stronger than the first. The first one felt hard at the time, and I hated it so much, but now I'm in one that's even further I often wish it was only 200 miles again. I think the strength of the relationship determines it's outcome, not distance. Distance is very very hard, and some days it seems impossible, but if 2 people love each other enough it'll work until you can be together permanently.

Edited by Rocker83
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I try to avoid LDRs, but if I met someone worth the extra work, I might do it, but there would need to be the possibility that it wouldn't be long distance forever. 

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LDR's are hard. I've had more than one. Note none started as an LDR but were the result of someone having to move.

First one we were young ridiculous kids who thought we were in love. We had been together for almost a year and got engaged, were 17/18 really didn't know each other. (It's just what people did in my town, Hence ridiculous and stupid) He left for the military.  Needless to say it didn't work. Within a year we both cheated repeatedly, he actually married someone else while still dating me, only found out when his wife called me. = ( 

Next we dated for a while moved apart for a summer made it work, but split up as soon as we moved back close to each other. We couldn't handle actually having the other around..

Last one dated for a couple months moved 6 hours apart. Decided we couldn't stand the distance and wanted to get married within a couple months or the LDR. Moved back close to each other and married. We are still married, but having not gotten to really know each other as well as we should have has caused a lot of issues. 

So my advise is they can work, just make sure you keep your head and aren't rushing into anything. All relationships have risks, LDR's are no different. If it's meant to be it will if not it won't. Distance can destroy a relationship or make the heart grow fonder. You won't know which way until you try, so might as well enjoy the ride.

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I always thought I couldn't do it until I ended up in one (lol). Now I am fine with it, and I am doing the work to make it work. We find ways to deal with the distance (i.e. video chats, phone calls, frequent messaging, planned visits). Because we are mature and we have those competing interests I discussed in my blog post earlier, it's nice to have time together, time a lone, and time to address those other interest that seem to interrupt relationships anyway. Relationship references are up to the individual. Not saying it's easy all the time, but having done the traditional relationships all my life......the LDR is a welcomed experience.

It's not always easy, not always fun...........but the same can be said (from personal experience) in the traditional local relationship. It is what you make it to be. What I do know is that without trust and frequent communication it won't work. Can't have a jealous, intrusive, insecure partner either. If I had that............I would not be able to do the LDR. So far, so good. While it's not my preference, it's how we started and we've made it work.

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I read somewhere, I think here, that it makes sense if you are going to be together soon or if you were but  went away temporarily. 

So, I have had thme and I never liked it, I really really don't like LDRs, it just doesn't work for me. My last relationship was a LDR and there were lots of things, how can I explain it, that were misunderstood and there was probably dishonesty, not on my side. Such kind of relationship is not fully authentic for me, personally, and makes me feel insecure and I don't like feeling that way, so I avoid it as much as I can. I think I have invested myself so much in the previous ones, amicable or romantic ones long-distance relationships, that is, I can't bring myself to invest into one any more, as long as the person doesn't live within distance that allows us to meet soon and on a more or less regular basis

 

Edited by bluebell
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LDR would be perfection if she was from Texas. I could Skype that accent allllll night :wub::wub:

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Long distant romances just do not work for me. 

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I haven't had a long distance relationship. I dont want to say I never will.. I feel that I would have to be really over the top madly in love to try it. I like affection  and seeing my partner often.  I would also have a hard time trusting that they  (or myself) will be faithful if we didn't have a deep strong connection.

Edited by Tpearl002
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I have never really experienced a truly long distance relationship. My last relationship we had been living about an hour apart, but then we moved in together after several years. I think if I felt a special connection with someone I could make it work, though it would be difficult. I'm potentially looking at one right now honestly and it looks good to me because of how much I want to be with her

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I met my GF on here. We did 2.5 years of traveling 2,000 miles (her west coast me east) and in November she moved here. It was hard but we were both honest, scheduled "dates" via facetime, and did all the cute and fun romantic long distance stuff. Now she works literally across the street from me. Me in a hospital her at a bank. We couldn't have planned it any closer. 

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I don't know if I could do it again.

In the beginning it was fine, then you start wanting more and you know deep down that it isn't going to happen.

 

 

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I tried. My ex had to travel due to her job and it took her away for longer and longer periods of time. Finally, it just became unworkable and and we eventually, parted our own ways.

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My husband had to travel for extended periods of time although he would come home for 4 days every 3 weeks.  It was fine initially but after about 6 months every time he came home it became more and more disruptive for my schedule and I dreaded when he came home.  There was quite an adjustment period when he finally came back for good.  

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On 1/3/2017 at 9:05 PM, Bi4Bi said:

I think it depends on the expectation ....... online relationships seem to be based on a best case fantasy in some ways but they do work for some.

I think you'd have to meet the other person and that's where it may be a total anticlimax.

 

However, in terms of gaining a friend and being able to share confidences etc, I think that's fine.

 

For me, a sexual relationship would be something I'd be very aware of developing into a fantasy.

Well for netty and me it was one of those rare things that we shared an instant chemistry the moment we met at the airport. We were both nervous as hell but we settled into each other easily. For us it was like electricity and an instant attraction. I wrote about it in my blog.

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Update since I last responded to this thread. Netty and I have been together now almost 3 1/2 years. We basically live together on skype so we both go nuts if we don't see each other at least a small portion of our day. We both have the hope and the expectation of being together once my youngest graduates high school. We are one year closer to that goal. I just want to get our life started together so I'm definitely counting the days.

The visits help when she is able to come and see me. I'm hoping to be able to get over there to see her in October for her birthday this year. It's not easy for sure but we are both committed to each other.

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If the end game is not about closing the distance, then long distance relationship won't work at all. Trust me, I have been in one.

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Long distance relationships do work if you wanna spend the time to do them.

Phalen and I both was in different states when we 1st met and now after 11 total years together and 3 years married and living to gether.

At 1st it was a lot of talking online over web cams and meeting up when we could 2-4 times a year.

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Never been in a long-distance relationship. I'm fascinated reading some of the posts on here and how with some of you ladies it's worked.

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