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Posted polkadot on 22 January 2012 - 05:57 PM
How do you do that? It’s easy. You realize that 1 out 4 people have gay tendencies, whether they admit it or not. So the chances that the cutie pie at the checkout is into girls is actually higher then you think. Even if she hasn’t dated women before it doesn’t mean you can’t be her first.
So turn your gaydar on by simply realizing that we’re everywhere. I know, I know, life would be so much easier if we all wore some sign or name badge identifying our sexuality, but we don’t. So get over it and step out of your little box long enough to realize that the girl you’re eyeing may be just as terrified as you, of making the wrong assumption.
Basically this is my personal technique for activating my gaydar: I assume that every woman I meet is either gay or at least bi until proven otherwise. That way I don’t close the door to any opportunities that might present themselves.
Try it. It works. You’ll find yourself making eye contact more often, letting your eyes linger a bit longer on her lips, looking for signs of her queerness in the way she dresses or moves.
You’ll start to get better at this the more you do it. Like anything, having good gaydar takes practice.
So before we go any further with how to meet women, let’s work on recognizing fellow lesbians and ladies that may just be open to another woman, regardless of her current label.
So my homework assignment for you is to do the following:
Next time you’re at any store that you frequent, assume that the cute girl you see is gay. Just pretend that you know for a fact that she is. This doesn’t mean jump her bones in the chip and cookie aisle. It just means to act as if she is. Notice if you feel more comfortable around her? Make more eye contact and see if she holds your gaze, does she look at your lips and then back up to your eyes?
But more then her reaction, it’s your reaction I want to know about.
Let yourself act as if we live in a world where gay people outnumber breeders. Try not to be so self-contained, self-conscious and cautious all the time. (This doesn’t mean be reckless if you live in an area that you could get stoned for being gay.) I’m talking about a subtle attitude change that will affect the way you relate to other women.
Posted Hannahr44 on 25 March 2012 - 02:23 AM
Posted LilythePink on 22 August 2010 - 02:39 PM
It is highly addictive, and many members have become firm friends, some even found relationships forming, through those friendships, but one thing has never changed ...
IT IS NOT A DATING SITE, OR SOMEWHERE TO HOOK UP !
this site is, and always has been, somewhere to get support, and advice, somewhere to share opinions, and to have ideas bounced around.
IF you are looking to hook up, or only have joined to try and hit on the members, there are many other sites out there for just that.......shys is NOT one of them !
the moderators are always looking out for couples, and members who don't want to join a site, where we discuss emotions and relationships, how to cope with feelings that are new to you .....
and we are vigilant !
Posted janine on 28 March 2012 - 06:26 PM
Posted myangel on 28 March 2012 - 05:03 PM
Posted notsosure on 28 March 2012 - 06:06 PM
Posted Callie T on 28 March 2012 - 06:26 PM
Posted thesea on 21 September 2007 - 04:07 PM
Welcome newbie to probably the best website you will ever find
Shybi is a support forum so there are lots of friendly women here.
Were to start?
You could post a hello on the Big Welcome Forum or you could just read some threads. If there is something in particular you are looking for try using the search function also at the top of the page, it wont take less than four characters and you need to give it a little time between searches.
To view all the posts since you last logged in or to sort by 'friends' or date click View new content at the top of the page.
Have a look at the rules and posting guide lines before posting, Shys do try to be nice to each other and to use the forum to its best. Don't be afraid to be yourself, this is a diverse group of ladies.
Looking for a date? Try an Internet search for "100% free dating" and search shys for "dating" for some advice and incite.
Be sure to come tell us how you get on
Choose an avatar (little pic to go with your username, try and keep it clean, and if you're not 'out' then best to choose something that isn't a pic of yourself !). You can upload it by going into "My Profile" from the drop down box under your username at the top, then going to Edit my Profile. Here you can also add a signature which will be displayed under some posts. If you want to change an avatar you may need to clear out your stored web information, see other threads for more details.
If you don't like the pink colour of the forum or perhaps want something a little more discreet you can Change Theme using the button at the very bottom left of the forum. There's a few to choose from there, hopefully you'll find something to suit.
You can use MyContent/Content I follow also in the drop down box to find your own posts and topics or to quickly find a topic which you haven't posted on but want to return to later. There is a 'follow this topic' button at the top of each one which will keep track for you. You can choose to 'unfollow' these at any time.
Choose "Search", "More search options", "Filter by member name" (your user name), click "Match exact name" box, now choose either "Search entire post" to find threads to which you contributed or "Search titles only" to find your topics. You can also choose notification options in this area also ( for comments, personal messages, replies to topics etc )
Posted something and want to change it? You can edit your post once you have fifty posts, if its really important a mod will do it for you. You can preview your post before you post it for real which can help to iron out mistakes.
Feeling a little lonely and lost? Once you have twenty posts open Shout box, the gadget at the top of the page, click on the + in the right hand top corner. Now say hello. You may also then use Status updates which appear in your 'Profile Feed' ( My Profile area again ) and in the side box of the forum listing the latest updates from members. You may also comment on another members update, this will appear both in your own 'feed' and theirs so you can keep track. Also at this point you may customise your profile using a personal backround.
The chat room is usually open to new members on Thursdays from around three pm UK time, you need fifty posts to access it at other times during the week. You also need fifty posts to use your blog, send personal messages and leave comments, this is a form of protection. 50 posts are also needed to view/take part in the 'New Meets' forum; this where Shybi's can arrange real world group social events (just group socials not one to one dating). Please do not start such conversations outside the 'New Meets' forum as they'll be closed down by the moderators, again this is for your protection.
You might want to consider safety, don't post your contact details at all, consider whether you want to save your username and password to your computer. There is a function on your web program to "clean up behind yourself" you can read more about security and privacy on "How this forum works". You might also want to consider what areas are viewable when you are logged out, some areas are not viewable from outside, once you are blogging you can set your blog so that people cannot read it unless they are logged in.
You need 200 posts and 60 days membership to access the Naughty Forum, ask a moderator for your password. Members are screened to make sure they are making a useful contribution to shys.
Hopefully you will only make friends and you can request ' Add as a Friend' to someone you've been chatting to or mabye have 'seen' round the forums.. Other members may request your friendship too. These must be approved once requested and any pending requests should be in your profile area. You need 20 posts to do this, but over time you should make a fair few friends along the way ! .......Should the worst happen and you wish to ignore someone there is this function.
If you are brave post a pic in Shybi member spotlight, you can do this either as an attachment or through something like photobucket.com. Pics of yourself should be nothing saucier than a bikini shot unless its in the NF.
Start a random thoughts thread while you are working up to fifty posts, tell us whatever comes to mind, its a nice way to get to know someone. Once you reach your fifty move it over to the blogs. You can select peoples blog to appear at the top of the list by making them a favorite or you can follow all the shys blogs by viewing them by last post and then last comment. You can select this at the bottom of the Community blog menu.
You should also be aware that WE DO NOT DELETE ACCOUNTS HERE. This messes up hundreds of threads and topics others have taken lots of time and effort to contribute to. If you join and then change your mind before posting anything, your account will be deleted within a few weeks by the system itself.
If you've posted anything at all that you feel will identify you, ( username you use on other sites, or too much personal info ), get in touch with a moderator or admin asap and they can delete any info, and/or change your username to something really anonymous. This should suffice to keep your account and any posts you have made completely private. Just ask and we will endeavour to help you out as much as we can.
Other than that, if you wish to leave, then please remove any personal info you have ( pictures, avatar any other personal items you've uploaded).. then please do so, and we wish you well. It's up to you not to log-in again, not us to remove your account and every post you've ever made. It really, really messes up the boards for everyone else.... which is such a shame for everyone else who've taken time to post in the same topics, and new members browsing and not able to make sense of something because half the posts are missing.
Still have questions? Keep looking through How this forum works and then post a question.
Welcome to shys
Posted tillymint on 13 March 2012 - 04:46 PM
( I must explain as I liked the post above that I was with the police in a pursuit, I wasn't arrested lol! )
Posted CC* on 28 March 2012 - 06:31 PM
Posted SapphireEyes81 on 28 March 2012 - 06:25 PM
Posted Melannen on 24 March 2012 - 06:28 AM
Never have I ever gone to a tanning bed
Posted notsosure on 28 March 2012 - 07:03 PM
Posted la-femme on 28 September 2010 - 01:52 PM
In summary, everything is to make the site as safe and as comfy as possible for everyone. The restrictions completely put off the above from bothering in most cases. Thank you so much for you patience and understanding with this. It's all in the members interests I promise !
Friends System = 20 posts. And you must 'approve' any friends requests you get. Requests will show under the 'manage friends' option in your profile area as a 'pending request'.
Shoutbox = 20 posts
Customise your Profile = 20 posts
Status Updates and Status Comments = 20 posts
Personal Messaging = 50 posts, but you can use the 'Contact Us' form to alert a moderator or Admin if you need help or are feeling a bit lost about something. If it's a general query and you need it deal with it fast then the contact us option is usually best, as the first mod online will see it. Or you can send us a message. You may only message Moderators and Admin until you reach 50 posts.
Chat = 50 posts. But is open on a Thursday for ALL members so new members can introduce themselves, and have a chat with more established members here. Dipping your toe in so to speak.
Naughty Forum = 200 posts and AT LEAST 60 days membership here.
HOWEVER !!!! Getting access to this area is never a given, nor automatic. You must pm a moderator or myself for the password. Your history here will then be checked through thoroughly and if there have been any anomalies there ( for instance lots of 1 line posts saying 'lol' or you've been previously flagged for some reason ).. you may have to wait longer until you've fully proved yourself as a member who can be trusted fully.
This is for the safety and privacy for all members and one which you'll be very grateful for yourself once the boot is on the other foot, and perhaps you've posted in there a few times yourself ! Please understand this. Thank you !
Posted mystical1 on 28 March 2012 - 07:29 PM
Posted CC* on 28 March 2012 - 06:24 PM
Posted notsosure on 28 March 2012 - 06:29 PM
Posted polkadot on 24 March 2012 - 07:02 PM
Posted Confused22 on 24 March 2012 - 06:45 PM
Posted Booknerd1 on 28 March 2012 - 07:09 PM