[kala_bunga]

I've debated making a topic about this for a while but always decided not to... Well, I'm finally giving in! I have this ex/ ex friend, lets call her K. K and me were pretty good friends for 2 years, I had always been attracted to her but kept her in the friend zone because that's what she was to me. One drunken night in September we ended up making out and then decided to go out.. Well that ended real quick, somewhere around the 1 week mark. Things got awkward for the next 2-3 weeks but then we started being a little flirty.. Buying each other lunches and such. One day we decided to do a cap of MDMA each... Which ended in her picking me up, pushing me up against a wall and carrying me to my room... And wooo let's just say it got quite steamy . I've though about writing about it in the experiences section and I might just have at er'. This led to us acting like a couple while around each other from early october until Christmas eve... Including a threesome =P. She told me her whole life story, we would meet up late at night (midnight ish) to walk our dogs in the pouring rain (fuck Vancouver weather) and we'd hold hands and kiss goodbye...

Throughout this she did have a bf, even though she is pretty much a lesbian... She likes the consistency of having one and to be able to uhm, "have fun" with his "special area" as needed even if she doesn't really care about him... She started going out with him early November. On Christmas eve we were all hanging out and I made a flirty comment to her but she thought I was making it at her boyfriend and then got really pissed off and decided that we aren't friends anymore. Did I mention that she's a Scorpio and therefor really stubborn? She also has slight anger management. She wouldn't believe a word I said and completely bought his story. I was hurt and felt really betrayed, she had only known him for a couple months and me over 2 years and it was one comment.

Which all led to K, me, and our mutual friends going to the fireworks at the beach last night. Me and her have been ignoring each other on the bus and we haven't been friends on facebook since February. It was fairly awkward at first but I let her use my sunscreen and that we started chatting. By the end of the night we were laying beside eachother under blankys watching the fireworks and everything seemed fine. we bussed home together and she initiated a goodbye hug and said she'd add me on facebook. I texted her asking if we're on "okay terms" now and she didn't reply. She doesn't have a lot of money and I know she doesn't have any texting on her phone plan but she normally replies to important ones... She never replied. I know she's been on facebook because she's said things to other friends and it's been on my news feed but she hasn't added me. A friend thinks I need to add her first but I'm not sure sure.

Hints? Helpful advice? Do I add her?

Btw, our trust is pretty much broken but I think over time we'll start chatting again... As frustrated as we are with each other I'm sure the attraction is mutual and I think that if we ever drink together we'll end up kissing or more... We're both stubborn and getting this friendship "re booted" will be the hard part.

[kala_bunga]

Well over 50 views and no replies?
She did end up re-adding me on facebook... I don't know whether to talk to her or not or how to proceed... She's stubborn as f*ck and is likely going to wait until I say something... I was pleasantly surprised when she added me.

Any advice? Hints? Insight... at all?

This post has been edited by kala_bunga: 01 August 2010 - 09:02 AM

[longkissgoodnite]

You could try discussing the issue that caused the problem inthe first place in order to get it sorted out and be able to move on with your friendship without hard feelings. But, depending on her personality, this might just get her in a tizzy again because she may just refuse to believe you. Sorry, that's the best advice I got. Good luck!

[kala_bunga]

Thank you longkissgoodnight!

Her status is about how she needs to stop being so stubborn, so maybe things will change? I really want to have a convo about the past with her. but at the same time I don't want to push it... I'm thinking about either getting our mutual friend to make plans with both of us again or initiating a convo on facebook chat... Maybe after we hang out again I'll be less hesitant to start a convo. I don't want to get hurt again, but I really miss having her in my life. I can't figure out what her perspective is, but I don't want to start a serious convo and "push my luck" so to speak.

Thoughts, from anyone? =)

[mel76]

push your luck... at least you will know where you stand. Just be gentle about it. Who knows, she may be having the same conversation in her head.

This post has been edited by mel76: 03 August 2010 - 08:19 AM

[AndSoItGoes]

I'd start a convo. I was in the same sort of situation. 1.5 years not really talking to each other except at social events where we both were and finding it would start off weird, then all is cool we're chatting like we used to, night ends and next day- bam, right back where we started not talking or being awkward. One day we were both on MSN, and she messaged out of the blue and started this convo about randomness, really nothing, then paused and was like so..... and i knew she wanted to talk, and then she chickened out. I had to get off for a min and decided when I came back on I was just gonna start a real convo about tension betweeen us, missing her, everything that happened, etc and when I got back my screen was lit up with her messaging me this very thing. It started us talking, mostly both appologizing, both acknowledging we missed each other, both thanking the other one, and both deciding we wanted to move forward and be friends. About 2 days later we met for a coffee, chatted about what we'd MSNed about, and about our issues, our mutual respect and adoration for each other and an agreed feeling that we needed to move on and be friends. And here we are 4 months later and we're cool. Talk to her. We both felt like this huge weight was off our hearts.

[ms sparkle]

It sounds like this girl is using her boy friend , this could potentially happen to you too- do you really want that?

At the end of the day you have nothing to lose by just having a talk with her , being honest and seeing where that takes you.