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Transphobia On Shybi Is Not Acceptable. Please Read !

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#1 la-femme

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 02:07 PM

Hi All,

Shybi is and always has been open to women only. This also includes women who have or are currently going through their own personal transgender journey. Whether they are at the start of this journey, or nearing the end.. as long as they identify and live as a woman, that's just fine !

We've had several trans members over the years and all without fail have been open, honest and wonderful members of this community. With a special take on struggling with sexuality related issues and facing the challenges they present.

Now I don't say the above to somehow 'seperate' trans members out in some way from other members. Far from it ! I just want to acknowledge that these members are here, contributing and very much valued by everyone on Shybi. And to be honest ( if the member chooses to divulge that they are trans ).. most of us forget about that anyway.

However, recently in a few threads, there have been several instances 'transphobia' popping up. Subtle or otherwise, or insinuating that our trans members are somehow 'not entitled' to opinion on debates because they haven't been 'born' a woman. Or words to that effect. Personal attacks also.. delving into or mentioning transmembers background in completely unrelated threads for no reason other than to provoke reaction.

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE ON SHYBI. And won't be tolerated on our boards. Any further instances of this sort of behaviour on our forums will be dealt with swiftly, and harshly.

It's bad enough that bi-phobia from ( especially )the lesbian community exists, without heaping transphobia from the bi community into the mix. And it's NOT happening on Shybi.

We're ALL women here. And any sort of bullying or predjudice on the basis of a members past or present personal circumstances isn't acceptable. Especially when that member has been open and honest enough to come forward and share these details willingly upon joining. After which.. it's irrelevant.. and shouldn't ever follow them round the boards in every unrelated thread they contribute to.

I sincerely hope that this clarifies Shybi's stance on any sort of transphobia on our boards occuring. Use the report button, and don't be scared to do so.

LF xx
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#2 lilac_lover

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 02:16 PM

View Postla-femme, on 18 March 2013 - 02:07 PM, said:

Shybi is and always has been open to women only. This also includes women who have or are currently going through their own personal transgender journey. Whether they are at the start of this journey, or nearing the end.. as long as they identify and live as a woman, that's just fine !.....

[edit]

....We're ALL women here. And any sort of bullying or predjudice on the basis of a members past or present personal circumstances isn't acceptable. Especially when that member has been open and honest enough to come forward and share these details willingly upon joining. After which.. it's irrelevant.. and shouldn't ever follow them round the boards in every unrelated thread they contribute to.

I sincerely hope that this clarifies Shybi's stance on any sort of transphobia on our boards occuring. Use the report button, and don't be scared to do so.

LF xx


My edit [ ]

Thank you la-femme. Now I know exactly where I astand. I appreciate your time and input on this. Glad it's hopefully resolved now and will not pop up again. I am, as I am sure others too will be, most grateful for the clarification

lilac   :)

#3 Aloha

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 02:26 PM

Not only transphobia, but the entire human-phobia is pretty annoying (at least to me personally). Men are human, women are human, and everything inbetween too!

#4 binurse

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 05:07 PM

View Postla-femme, on 18 March 2013 - 02:07 PM, said:

Hi All,

Shybi is and always has been open to women only. This also includes women who have or are currently going through their own personal transgender journey. Whether they are at the start of this journey, or nearing the end.. as long as they identify and live as a woman, that's just fine !

We've had several trans members over the years and all without fail have been open, honest and wonderful members of this community. With a special take on struggling with sexuality related issues and facing the challenges they present.

Now I don't say the above to somehow 'seperate' trans members out in some way from other members. Far from it ! I just want to acknowledge that these members are here, contributing and very much valued by everyone on Shybi. And to be honest ( if the member chooses to divulge that they are trans ).. most of us forget about that anyway.

However, recently in a few threads, there have been several instances 'transphobia' popping up. Subtle or otherwise, or insinuating that our trans members are somehow 'not entitled' to opinion on debates because they haven't been 'born' a woman. Or words to that effect. Personal attacks also.. delving into or mentioning transmembers background in completely unrelated threads for no reason other than to provoke reaction.

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE ON SHYBI. And won't be tolerated on our boards. Any further instances of this sort of behaviour on our forums will be dealt with swiftly, and harshly.

It's bad enough that bi-phobia from ( especially )the lesbian community exists, without heaping transphobia from the bi community into the mix. And it's NOT happening on Shybi.

We're ALL women here. And any sort of bullying or predjudice on the basis of a members past or present personal circumstances isn't acceptable. Especially when that member has been open and honest enough to come forward and share these details willingly upon joining. After which.. it's irrelevant.. and shouldn't ever follow them round the boards in every unrelated thread they contribute to.

I sincerely hope that this clarifies Shybi's stance on any sort of transphobia on our boards occuring. Use the report button, and don't be scared to do so.

LF xx

Thankyou la femme and too the future shybi moderators who I.m sure will ensure this does not continue.  This has lilac as always said is not just about her but about every other woman who's not disclosed they are trans to us on shy's and for future members also. . Likewise it serves existing and future members an opportunity to reflect and be mindful of posting phobic comments.

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#5 lilac_lover

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 05:46 PM

There can be no doubt in any good person's mind that this cannot be about me. It is totally to do with stamping out bigotry and what I have started referring to as HBTPhobia (homo-bi-trans-Phobia). This is the first all female site I have been on that had declared it's zero tolerance approach to such behaviours, actions and language. This is not and must not be about me winning.

Today we ALL won :)

Thanks again la femme, moderators and members.

lilac

#6 Joanie

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 05:55 PM

Whoot whoot! And a win win.

#7 jupiter

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 05:56 PM

Yay :)
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It's just the cool tongue of the devil with a sucker in his midst."  -Emily Saliers

#8 cnycatlady

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 05:58 PM

thank you, LF, mod team & fellow Shys

*pops off-line to go hug her not-biological, didn't-start-life-as-a-female sister*

#9 satehen

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 06:11 PM

Thanks la-femme, I've been disgusted of late with the transphobic comments on here.  As far as I am concerned gender is more than genitals and any bisexual who identifies as female, regardless of the gender they were born as, is welcome on here.  I think we nee to come down hard on those who perpetuate hate and intolerance. That is not what shybi s about!

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#10 leigh11

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 06:13 PM

its a shame that its come to this-to have to post what IS acceptable BUT am glad its all in black and white now!!!

ALL women are welcome here!
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#11 Faith_x

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 06:13 PM

Thank you LF.
I, for one, am certainly against transphobia. I'm glad to see we have rules set about it, and are willing to take action against anyone who crosses that line.
Appreciated :)
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#12 DelicateAngel

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 07:22 PM

Thank you La-Femme, I knew that you would rise up against this. You have created a very warm and welcoming site and I couldn't imagine you would stand for the way things have been going. Shybi's position on this was starting to look a little ambiguous to those of us who are new. So I really appreciate your making everything clear.

And to everyone else I can vouch for not being afraid to hit the report button. I used it yesterday with very swift response!

#13 satehen

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 07:37 PM

I just wanted to add, when mods are online we deal with issues quickly.  If you find something isn't being dealt with quickly it could be something as simple as there being no mod online at that time.

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#14 lilac_lover

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 07:52 PM

Yes, I think I made that mistake last night in thinking someone was here when they were not. At that point I was all ready for jumping ship...

Point taken though :)

lilac

#15 CharlieTango

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 08:11 PM

View Postla-femme, on 18 March 2013 - 02:07 PM, said:

Hi All,

Shybi is and always has been open to women only. This also includes women who have or are currently going through their own personal transgender journey. Whether they are at the start of this journey, or nearing the end.. as long as they identify and live as a woman, that's just fine !

We've had several trans members over the years and all without fail have been open, honest and wonderful members of this community. With a special take on struggling with sexuality related issues and facing the challenges they present.

Now I don't say the above to somehow 'seperate' trans members out in some way from other members. Far from it ! I just want to acknowledge that these members are here, contributing and very much valued by everyone on Shybi. And to be honest ( if the member chooses to divulge that they are trans ).. most of us forget about that anyway.

However, recently in a few threads, there have been several instances 'transphobia' popping up. Subtle or otherwise, or insinuating that our trans members are somehow 'not entitled' to opinion on debates because they haven't been 'born' a woman. Or words to that effect. Personal attacks also.. delving into or mentioning transmembers background in completely unrelated threads for no reason other than to provoke reaction.

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE ON SHYBI. And won't be tolerated on our boards. Any further instances of this sort of behaviour on our forums will be dealt with swiftly, and harshly.

It's bad enough that bi-phobia from ( especially )the lesbian community exists, without heaping transphobia from the bi community into the mix. And it's NOT happening on Shybi.

We're ALL women here. And any sort of bullying or predjudice on the basis of a members past or present personal circumstances isn't acceptable. Especially when that member has been open and honest enough to come forward and share these details willingly upon joining. After which.. it's irrelevant.. and shouldn't ever follow them round the boards in every unrelated thread they contribute to.

I sincerely hope that this clarifies Shybi's stance on any sort of transphobia on our boards occuring. Use the report button, and don't be scared to do so.

LF xx

Thank you La Femme for the clarification. I too have felt very uncomfortable reading transphobic comments on Shy's - it's good to hear, openly and publically, that such comments have no place in a site which is all about acceptance and support.

Edited by CharlieTango, 18 March 2013 - 09:29 PM.


#16 Angel85

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Posted 23 March 2013 - 08:23 AM

This is wonderful to see.. I think we more then anyone else should be aware of the difficulties people face and how mean and cruel people can be to others.. We need to all take a stand and stand united on this front.. Show everyone else the way to be good people
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#17 like2LOL

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Posted 24 March 2013 - 06:01 AM

I have only just returned to the site after nearly a year away.... I have not seen any of these types of comments myself but am so glad that this is a site that has very clear principles and is so accepting of everyone. I can honestly say that in my experience I have found this site to be very accepting of everyone else and I love it- I also know how many others have really opened up on here- so it's good to see that they can feel protected and respected here.
Thanks gals!

#18 Shy Lainie

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Posted 24 March 2013 - 07:08 AM

Thank you for creating a warm welcoming site for ALL bisexual women, and for taking this important stand against bigotry, phobias, and bullying behavior.
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#19 mimmi-me

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Posted 24 March 2013 - 10:25 AM

I agree with La-Femme.  Having become part of my own local Lesbian community in the last couple of years I have had the pleasure of meeting a couple of trans-gender women (M to F) who now identify as lesbian & play an active role in our community.  One in particular I have become friendly with, she is a lawyer & has a son to her previous female partner.  When she came out as transsexual a couple of years ago sadly the partner & her family rejected her & they subsequently separated & access to her child is now limited, despite her being an intelligent, sane, adoring parent.   I know this woman (who is still attracted to women hence lesbian) battles with finding her place in life & even within the lesbian community where, despite the majority being very supportive, she is occasionally confronted by cruel comments or snide remarks.  If we think we have sexuality issues to deal with then I can't even begin to imagine what trans people must go through!  It's very important to think before judging...
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#20 headoverfeet

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 11:06 AM

View Postlike2LOL, on 24 March 2013 - 06:01 AM, said:

I have only just returned to the site after nearly a year away.... I have not seen any of these types of comments myself but am so glad that this is a site that has very clear principles and is so accepting of everyone. I can honestly say that in my experience I have found this site to be very accepting of everyone else and I love it- I also know how many others have really opened up on here- so it's good to see that they can feel protected and respected here.
Thanks gals!

I'm just back after being away from the site for a while as well, I too haven't came across the comments. I can't believe that on a site like this, where our differences are celebrated, that people would still have the audacity to segregate someone when they themselves are looking for acceptance. Sheer hypocrisy at best. I'm very glad that the issues are being dealt with with an iron fist.





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