Jump to content






* * * * * 4 votes

Transphobia On Shybi Is Not Acceptable. Please Read !

transphobia

  • Please log in to reply
50 replies to this topic

#21 OFFLINE   littlenik412

littlenik412

    French Kisser

  • GoldenShyBiGirls
  • PipPipPip
  • 66 posts
  • Local time: 02:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:The Beatles, Black Keys, Macklemore, and a lot more
  • Location:Pittsburgh

Posted 02 May 2013 - 11:42 PM

We all crave acceptance as bi girls, we can't expect it if we don't accept others! Trans girls need love too. O love my friend Emma,who is transgendered, and I hope that one day we are both accepted for who we are.

#22 OFFLINE   lilac_lover

lilac_lover

    Butter wouldn't melt....

  • Moderator
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,506 posts
  • Local time: 06:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:Emmylou Harris, Nanci Griffith, Dolly Parton, Pam Tillis, Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard plus many more
  • Location:Northern England, UK
  • Signature Fragrance:Red Dor
  • Favourite Film:Contact, PS I Love you and Pride & Prejudice

Posted 02 May 2013 - 11:50 PM

View Postlittlenik412, on 02 May 2013 - 11:42 PM, said:

We all crave acceptance as bi girls, we can't expect it if we don't accept others! Trans girls need love too. O love my friend Emma,who is transgendered, and I hope that one day we are both accepted for who we are.

I think crave is an interesting word (though I thoroughly respect your use of it)

crave  [kreIv]  verb  
    1  (when intr, foll by for or after)     to desire intensely; long (for)

    2  (tr)     to need greatly or urgently

    3  (tr)     to beg or plead for

   [Old English crafian; related to Old Norse krefja to demand, krfr strong; see CRAFT]
    *craver noun  


No-one should ever have to beg or plead for acceptence for sure. As you point out it should be a given.

I wish you and your girlfriend every success at happiness littlenik  :)   She is lucky to have you and I hope, if she is on here, she will see the steps la femme took to make a stand on this. It's the only site I ever knew who has done this for transwomen

:)

#23 OFFLINE   GypsyButterfly

GypsyButterfly

    Your Friend & Confidante

  • Moderator
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,074 posts
  • Local time: 10:01 AM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:Classical, big band, jazz, classic rock, gospel, Celtic, hip hop, show tunes, pop, alternative
  • Location:In NorCal Waiting for You
  • Favourite Film:Hello, Dolly!

Posted 04 May 2013 - 10:15 PM

I just read this & I wanted to thank you for posting it, la-femme. We are all, first & foremost, human beings. It shouldn't matter what we are or aren't biologically. We all have something to offer here. Intelligence, humor, tolerance, creativity, compassion, understanding & more. This is a forum for friendship, support & acceptance. Every woman who joins, should feel welcome. We face enough prejudices from society at large. We shouldn't have to encounter it here.

Posted Image


#24 OFFLINE   Neekie

Neekie

    Multi-Orgasmic

  • Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 370 posts
  • Local time: 05:01 AM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:Anything
  • Signature Fragrance:red door
  • Favourite Film:i like a lot of movies can't pick a favourite to hard but iam a big fan of horror and thrillers

Posted 30 May 2013 - 03:42 AM

I agree good job x everyone should have the right to be there selfs on this site without being picked on its hard enough coming out than to have people give you shit
We should all be sister like the sister hood be there for each other

#25 OFFLINE   Pa_Country_Gal

Pa_Country_Gal

    Multi-Orgasmic

  • Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 341 posts
  • Local time: 01:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:Country mostly...a lil bit of everything though
  • Location:Pa
  • Signature Fragrance:Axe
  • Favourite Film:Nightmare before Christmas, rocky horror picture show, ps I love you

Posted 26 June 2013 - 07:06 PM

I read this and completely agree.  We shouldn't single out anyone.  We all have it rough at times, especially when it comes to sexuality choices, but we should be able to support one another through these choices.  That's what this site is here for from what I gathered when I came across it.

#26 OFFLINE   Noluna92

Noluna92

    Big Tease

  • GoldenShyBiGirls
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 172 posts
  • Local time: 12:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:Metal, rock, country and more.
  • Favourite Film:I'm a sucker for Disney Movies.

Posted 23 August 2013 - 02:39 AM

I have a couple trans friends. :P Some of them are quite cute. Maybe I'm pansexual and not just bi? Either way, love who you love. Don't let anyone tell you different.
Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another coffee.

#27 OFFLINE   Oceaniaaa

Oceaniaaa

    French Kisser

  • GoldenShyBiGirls
  • PipPipPip
  • 69 posts
  • Local time: 07:01 PM
  • Music:PJ Harvey, Nick Cave, Cat Power, Amanda Palmer, Einsturzende Neubauten
  • Location:Copenhagen

Posted 30 October 2013 - 08:15 AM

For me, if you're dressed as a women (and not for fun) I'm going to treat you as a woman. If you identify as a woman, even just for a bit, I'm going to treat you as a woman. My CD boyfriend could tell you more.

#28 OFFLINE   AshleyMay25

AshleyMay25

    French Kisser

  • GoldenShyBiGirls
  • PipPipPip
  • 50 posts
  • Local time: 12:01 PM
  • Music:hip hop, pop, R&B
  • Location:New Mexico
  • Favourite Film:fanacy mostly vampire movies and romatic comedies

Posted 13 December 2013 - 06:02 PM

Shame on those...picking on, bulling and discriminating, or otherwise being crude to others....there's enough of that everywhere...should happen here

#29 OFFLINE   Moomoofish

Moomoofish

    French Kisser

  • GoldenShyBiGirls
  • PipPipPip
  • 55 posts
  • Local time: 12:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:The new Pornographers, Vampire Weekend, Wilco, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Beethoven, Sarah Vaughn
  • Location:Illinois
  • Favourite Film:Bringing up Baby, Annie Hall, Raising Arizona, Chung King Express, Fantastic Mr. Fox.......

Posted 25 April 2014 - 02:34 AM

As a newbie, I'm glad to read this.  Transphobia disgusts me in general, but especially so because I have a trans teen:). Glad this site sticks up for trans individuals!

#30 OFFLINE   an older shybi

an older shybi

    Multi-Orgasmic

  • Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 838 posts
  • Local time: 12:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two

Posted 25 April 2014 - 03:22 AM

View Postla-femme, on 18 March 2013 - 02:07 PM, said:

Hi All,

Shybi is and always has been open to women only. This also includes women who have or are currently going through their own personal transgender journey. Whether they are at the start of this journey, or nearing the end.. as long as they identify and live as a woman, that's just fine !

We've had several trans members over the years and all without fail have been open, honest and wonderful members of this community. With a special take on struggling with sexuality related issues and facing the challenges they present.

Now I don't say the above to somehow 'seperate' trans members out in some way from other members. Far from it ! I just want to acknowledge that these members are here, contributing and very much valued by everyone on Shybi. And to be honest ( if the member chooses to divulge that they are trans ).. most of us forget about that anyway.

However, recently in a few threads, there have been several instances 'transphobia' popping up. Subtle or otherwise, or insinuating that our trans members are somehow 'not entitled' to opinion on debates because they haven't been 'born' a woman. Or words to that effect. Personal attacks also.. delving into or mentioning transmembers background in completely unrelated threads for no reason other than to provoke reaction.

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE ON SHYBI. And won't be tolerated on our boards. Any further instances of this sort of behaviour on our forums will be dealt with swiftly, and harshly.

It's bad enough that bi-phobia from ( especially )the lesbian community exists, without heaping transphobia from the bi community into the mix. And it's NOT happening on Shybi.

We're ALL women here. And any sort of bullying or predjudice on the basis of a members past or present personal circumstances isn't acceptable. Especially when that member has been open and honest enough to come forward and share these details willingly upon joining. After which.. it's irrelevant.. and shouldn't ever follow them round the boards in every unrelated thread they contribute to.

I sincerely hope that this clarifies Shybi's stance on any sort of transphobia on our boards occuring. Use the report button, and don't be scared to do so.

LF xx
la-femme,
sorry for the full post quote. still new here, haven't figured out all the short cuts yet. but i wanted to reply before even reading any responses.
i can't agree with you more. people need to wake up and realize that human sexuality and identification goes way beyond the 'equipment' you are born with.
i can only imagine how hard it is for a transgender/sexual person to work through society's 'norm'.  and even then, my imagination, i admit, is limited because i'm not in their shoes.

even in my 'newbie-ness' here, i've found so much comfort. color me a little jaded but yes, i'm still wary of the straight guy masquerading as bi.
but  this post gives me much needed confidence to continue on.   hate is not tolerated here. it's monitored and shut down quickly. our 'shybi goddesses' DO exist!

heartfelt thanks for really keeping your eye on the ball and understanding that being a real women is sometimes a complicated, but oh so sweet hot mess. lol

sidebar--you mentioned the hate bi's get from some lesbians.  i have too.  it truly stumps me.  what's up with that?  just a 'floater' pondering....

anyway, to all the trans ladies here, keep reaching out. any woman who calls herself 'real', is here for you.

#31 OFFLINE   Freckle Faced Mamma

Freckle Faced Mamma

    Big Tease

  • GoldenShyBiGirls
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 130 posts
  • Local time: 02:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:be good tanyas, old 97s, fleet foxes and lots more
  • Location:columbus oh
  • Signature Fragrance:sandalwood

Posted 25 April 2014 - 04:26 PM

We bi folk should by least concerned with what plumbing someone is packing! It's in the definition. We have already proclaimed an apreciation for multiple flavors, why should we be affraid of the mystery lolipop? We should be side by side leading the way in gender identity acceptance.

Part of why I came here is for the sense of community. I have been looking for the courage to break out of my convenient camoflage as a married woman, and be a part of the struggle for acceptance of bisexuality. Also it is a personal journey for all of us. Many are still searching within themselves, and the last thing any of us need is a middle school style bullying session. This should be a safe place, and so many of us are depending on that.

I would like to share also, that in my youth I had more than the average exposure to the trans community. I have an uncle who is trans, F to M. One of my early memories is my mom explaining to me that my aunt had decided to become a man. We went to visit him shortly after his breasts were removed, and I couldn't have even been six at the time. I don't remember him as a woman, and to look back at old pictures, you can see that he was lost then. He hid behind big sunglasses and an androgenous shag haircut, wore flannels and hunched his shoulders to hide his breasts. He was ostracised by my grandmother for many years, and my grandfather, who is gone now and whom I adored, did nothing. For six years he did not enter his old family home, untill there was a death in the family of one of my very young cousins. He rarely entered the house again for many years, and I witnessed fights between him and my grandmother, and icy treatment. Even my mom and the other siblings, although they basically accepted him couldn't get past calling him she. I had the advantage of only knowing him the way he saw himself. I also had the positive example of my mom, and other  aunts and uncles coming to terms with the change and always accepting him as family.

Basicly I have seen firsthand the pain and struggles a trans person can go through in this world. I for one refuse to be part of the problem, and would call on all of you to be a part of the solution. As members of the human race, I think how one expresses themselves, or defines themselves in terms of gender or sexuality, should be at the very bottom of the pile of shit to worry about. There is plenty of real crazy scary stuff out there, and what someone decides to do in the bedroom is their own damn buisiness. This should be a place where we should all agree on those things, and get on with lifting eachother up instead of knocking eachother down.

Whew! First real rant here! Thanks for giving me a soapbox:-)

#32 OFFLINE   Freckle Faced Mamma

Freckle Faced Mamma

    Big Tease

  • GoldenShyBiGirls
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 130 posts
  • Local time: 02:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:be good tanyas, old 97s, fleet foxes and lots more
  • Location:columbus oh
  • Signature Fragrance:sandalwood

Posted 25 April 2014 - 04:39 PM

View Postlilac_lover, on 18 March 2013 - 07:52 PM, said:

Yes, I think I made that mistake last night in thinking someone was here when they were not. At that point I was all ready for jumping ship...

Point taken though :)

lilac

So glad you stayed aboard.

#33 OFFLINE   lilac_lover

lilac_lover

    Butter wouldn't melt....

  • Moderator
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,506 posts
  • Local time: 06:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:Emmylou Harris, Nanci Griffith, Dolly Parton, Pam Tillis, Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard plus many more
  • Location:Northern England, UK
  • Signature Fragrance:Red Dor
  • Favourite Film:Contact, PS I Love you and Pride & Prejudice

Posted 25 April 2014 - 10:29 PM

"Why should we be affraid of the mystery lolipop "....    ???

the majority of transwomen have no mystery lollipop. I certainly dont and do not want one!!! Lol

#34 OFFLINE   lilac_lover

lilac_lover

    Butter wouldn't melt....

  • Moderator
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,506 posts
  • Local time: 06:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:Emmylou Harris, Nanci Griffith, Dolly Parton, Pam Tillis, Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard plus many more
  • Location:Northern England, UK
  • Signature Fragrance:Red Dor
  • Favourite Film:Contact, PS I Love you and Pride & Prejudice

Posted 25 April 2014 - 10:30 PM

View PostFreckle Faced Mamma, on 25 April 2014 - 04:39 PM, said:

So glad you stayed aboard.

thank you :)

#35 OFFLINE   Moomoofish

Moomoofish

    French Kisser

  • GoldenShyBiGirls
  • PipPipPip
  • 55 posts
  • Local time: 12:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:The new Pornographers, Vampire Weekend, Wilco, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Beethoven, Sarah Vaughn
  • Location:Illinois
  • Favourite Film:Bringing up Baby, Annie Hall, Raising Arizona, Chung King Express, Fantastic Mr. Fox.......

Posted 25 April 2014 - 11:27 PM

Thanks for sharing that, Freckled Face Mamma:).  My child is ftm, but a bit more agender.  Their courage in being themself has helped me to be more honest with myself and how I identify.

#36 OFFLINE   Freckle Faced Mamma

Freckle Faced Mamma

    Big Tease

  • GoldenShyBiGirls
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 130 posts
  • Local time: 02:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:be good tanyas, old 97s, fleet foxes and lots more
  • Location:columbus oh
  • Signature Fragrance:sandalwood

Posted 28 April 2014 - 01:11 AM

View Postlilac_lover, on 25 April 2014 - 10:29 PM, said:

"Why should we be affraid of the mystery lolipop "....    ???

the majority of transwomen have no mystery lollipop. I certainly dont and do not want one!!! Lol


Mystery flavor, meaning a wild card, unknown. forget the lolipop analogy. My, you do have a dirty mind though! Ha, I do hope you know that the crass analogy is a blunt tool to illustrate the fact that there is more to gender than plumbing, and more "flavors" of gender identity than vanilla and chocolate, so to speak. I will admit that I can tend to get a bit crude when I am ranting against narrow ideas from narrow minds! I myself have known many transgendered people, and actualy wrote a paper on it in college for psychology, so consider myself somewhat informed. Please know that I would never make assumptions about what yourself or any trans is "packing". My point was to the contrary, that those are not the things we should be hung up on. I apologise for the clumsy delivery.

#37 OFFLINE   lilac_lover

lilac_lover

    Butter wouldn't melt....

  • Moderator
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,506 posts
  • Local time: 06:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:Emmylou Harris, Nanci Griffith, Dolly Parton, Pam Tillis, Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard plus many more
  • Location:Northern England, UK
  • Signature Fragrance:Red Dor
  • Favourite Film:Contact, PS I Love you and Pride & Prejudice

Posted 28 April 2014 - 07:04 AM

View PostFreckle Faced Mamma, on 28 April 2014 - 01:11 AM, said:

Mystery flavor, meaning a wild card, unknown. forget the lolipop analogy. My, you do have a dirty mind though! Ha, I do hope you know that the crass analogy is a blunt tool to illustrate the fact that there is more to gender than plumbing, and more "flavors" of gender identity than vanilla and chocolate, so to speak. I will admit that I can tend to get a bit crude when I am ranting against narrow ideas from narrow minds! I myself have known many transgendered people, and actualy wrote a paper on it in college for psychology, so consider myself somewhat informed. Please know that I would never make assumptions about what yourself or any trans is "packing". My point was to the contrary, that those are not the things we should be hung up on. I apologise for the clumsy delivery.


I had not heard the analogy before in the way you described it is all.

I was both asking for and giving clarification. I have heard 'it' called all sorts of things and have run the gamut of insults so I was not trying to be dirty minded... I spoke from an experiential place. Thank you for clearing it up :)

Edited by lilac_lover, 28 April 2014 - 07:06 AM.


#38 OFFLINE   RubyStarlight

RubyStarlight

    <3 All of me - Loves - All of you <3

  • Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,058 posts
  • Local time: 06:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:I love country music and some new pop.
  • Location:Edinburgh, Scotland.
  • Signature Fragrance:Amore Amore
  • Favourite Film:Love Actually

Donator

Posted 28 April 2014 - 08:09 AM

I've never wrote on this thread before. I've never really known what to say about it because I don't get why anyone would treat a woman differently just because it took her a while to get there on the outside. Some people are crap humans who belittle anyone or anything they don't understand! Xx

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

#39 OFFLINE   Freckle Faced Mamma

Freckle Faced Mamma

    Big Tease

  • GoldenShyBiGirls
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 130 posts
  • Local time: 02:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:be good tanyas, old 97s, fleet foxes and lots more
  • Location:columbus oh
  • Signature Fragrance:sandalwood

Posted 28 April 2014 - 10:13 PM

Lilac, I can tell that you are a sweet sensitive soul. I can understand how experience could lead you to jump to the defensive or at least suspicious side of things. I'm glad we could come to understand eachother a bit. I would hate to have joined this thread only to offend.

I have read many of your posts and found them to be insightfull, articulate and caring. I value your oppinion and viewpoint, so if I say something inaccurate or cloddish again please, straighten me out (no, wait straighten is not the word, that wold be terrible!), I mean call me out. I like to think of myself as sensitive and open minded, but truth is sometimes run off at the mouth, and can be an annoying know it all. I don't always feel safe enough to voice my opinions, but when I do it can be like opening a floodgate, complete with flotsam and jetsam.

#40 OFFLINE   lilac_lover

lilac_lover

    Butter wouldn't melt....

  • Moderator
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,506 posts
  • Local time: 06:01 PM
  • Skin: Pink Bits Two
  • Music:Emmylou Harris, Nanci Griffith, Dolly Parton, Pam Tillis, Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard plus many more
  • Location:Northern England, UK
  • Signature Fragrance:Red Dor
  • Favourite Film:Contact, PS I Love you and Pride & Prejudice

Posted 28 April 2014 - 11:51 PM

View PostFreckle Faced Mamma, on 28 April 2014 - 10:13 PM, said:

Lilac, I can tell that you are a sweet sensitive soul. I can understand how experience could lead you to jump to the defensive or at least suspicious side of things. I'm glad we could come to understand eachother a bit. I would hate to have joined this thread only to offend.

I have read many of your posts and found them to be insightfull, articulate and caring. I value your oppinion and viewpoint, so if I say something inaccurate or cloddish again please, straighten me out (no, wait straighten is not the word, that wold be terrible!), I mean call me out. I like to think of myself as sensitive and open minded, but truth is sometimes run off at the mouth, and can be an annoying know it all. I don't always feel safe enough to voice my opinions, but when I do it can be like opening a floodgate, complete with flotsam and jetsam.
    

Dammit Im not sweet and sensitive. Me street cred just took a hike!!! Lol ;)

You never said anything cloddish. You used a term I was ignorant about and I got it wrong. My bad. I appreciatr your hand of friendship but think no more on this. It was MY mistake and I am srry :)





Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: transphobia

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users