27 replies to this topic

[O'Adonai]

Hi, this may just be a general instinct in the genders but does anyone else feel this way?
When I walk past a girl crush, everything feels so slowed down and almost calculated. I have to pretend as if I am not looking at her and she's just another everyday person passing by, who doesn't mean much(possibly for the sake of not feeling like a creeper or revealing my curious sexuality). That special breath-hitching sensation is still there.

When it comes to guys, it's more better or naturally played off. I don't have to do all of that but the intensity isn't as much and there's a less fear of getting caught staring.

I wish I wasn't such a wimp or hopeless romantically. I had the guts to order an anonymous valentine to a guy I liked but I have a feeling that he's already 'talking' to another girl and I'll feel like an idiot.

Overall Opinions?

[Pink Sheets]

ha haaa...i feel like a jellyfish each time i see my crush at school a long time ago
i can't breath, my heart is ridiculously having a major concert inside my chest
and when our eyes meet, feels like i fell into an endless abyss of euphoria...ahhhh girls...

[dedra]

i work with my crush and is hard not to look at her. i even get nerves talking to her. she has a beauitful smile.:-)

[penny011]

more uneasy around men!

[Jess Aussie1]

Yes I can't barely speak when I am around a girl I like.  I also get that heavy beat in my heart.  Although around guys, it's different.  I have no trouble picking up guys, never had, but I have always, always, always, had trouble picking up women.

Jess

[Nekomata]

Yeah, I'm more wary around guys. The girls I've always seen I've never really interacted with, boys however... they seem like they're everywhere and... I'm just afraid of them coming on to me and stuff XDD. So yeah, probably more relaxed around girls. Maybe if I had a girl crush I'd be more nervous, but for the time being it's guys I'm wary of most.

[Epona13]

I'm very comfortable around men, I interact with them as respected friends, yet with women I am so terribly self concious of my feelings towards them!  I can't be around women without wanting to protect them, love them, worship them and share the honesty of life with them - yet they never know this because it's all bottled up and locked away in the deepest depths of me.  I'm self employed too so I don't exactly get out to interact with work colleges or the larger public!

[angelinthesnow]

I can be a mess around girls I have crushes on. I try to remain cool when I see or talk to them, but my heart just melts when we make eye contact.

I don't seem to have any trouble interacting with guys. I could probably befriend them easier than girls. I wish it was the other way around.

[EmeraldEyes]

Interesting thread and question!

I guess for me. . . I'm more aware and used to picking up when guys are hitting on me or interested in me as more than friends.  Sometimes I'm sensitive to it, and kinda put the "not interested" signals out just in general to the world as a result. . . but I definitely notice that tension more with guys than girls.  And when I'm in a space where guys are seeming to swarm with that intent in their eyes, I'm much more nervous or conscious of guys.

It may be that historically, I've dated more guys. . . and kinda ignored attractions to women.  And I've like, zero gaydar I'm sure. . . I'd need to work on developing some of that So am more aware when guys seem to be sexually interested in me, and when I'm not in the mood or not looking or there's just "too much" of that energy around me. . . yeah, I'm more uncomfy with guys.

With women. . . I guess since I'm still half blind to seeing if there's that mutual interest as anything more than friends. . . I don't know.   I'm comfy chatting with people, and am genuinely interested in what someone has to say. . . so easier to get tied up in the conversations with women for me, and develop friendships.

Mind you, this may be because I've not really tried flirting with women I find attractive around me as of yet (I know, I know. . . ).  So have longer history of just meeting awesome friends without that sexual tension complication. . . and I think when I have a crush, I'd be aware of them more now (whatever gender).

[aecns]

I'm definitely more nervous around women that I find attractive, or have a crush on.  Men, it's easy...I've been doing it for years.  With women, I don't know.  It's just different.  The one I really have a crush on right now (and I'm certain it will never amount to anything) makes me blush, my heart beats faster and I cannot possibly string a sentence together.  It's junior high with the boys all over again!

Who know crushes could feel like this at this age?  I love it!!

[~Emma~]

Yea, I'm much more nervous around women than men...

[La Orgullosa]

Epona13, on 31 January 2012 - 12:42 PM, said:

I'm very comfortable around men, I interact with them as respected friends, yet with women I am so terribly self concious of my feelings towards them!

x2!

Men are so simple...not much complexity to them... they're easy to befriend and easy to get lol so I'm totally relaxed around 'em....

Definitely more nervous and conscious around women!

[B-V]

Yup I'm more nervous/conscious with women, just because I find them harder to figure out than men. Plus, I have a lot more experience with men than I have with women. Hence I have the same fear of rejection I used to have with guys back in puberty lol

[Jane33]

Much more at ease around men.  I think because I have more experience with men as friends and relationships.  I have a few friends that are women.  In the past year, I have made more of an effort to get to know more women.  This year will try to possibly meet a woman who I can have my first experience with.

[nzshybi]

aecns, on 31 January 2012 - 03:54 PM, said:

The one I really have a crush on right now (and I'm certain it will never amount to anything) makes me blush, my heart beats faster and I cannot possibly string a sentence together.  It's junior high with the boys all over again!

Who know crushes could feel like this at this age?  I love it!!

written perfectly! lol... I cannot even speak English when around her!  Actually, speaking is the last think on my mind... I don't even think I need to utter a single word!  I'd be happy to purr though

[leone29]

I am much more conscious around women but I always have been.  I recognise it for what it is now but when I was younger I thought it must be because I felt intimidated by them as I was not a girly girl, I was a total Tom boy and just got on better with guys in general.  Bit I realise now that I was shy around girls and avoided their eyes or looked away of we were in changing rooms because I didn't want them to think I was a lesbian.  How funny.  Of course I realise I was surprising all my feelings.  Now I am much more open with women, I have found a new confidence in myself.  I am at my most feminine and confident at 30 years old and I love having a flirt with girls and now I have accepted I am who I am I don't care if they think I am a lesbian lol.

[leone29]

*Suppressing my feelings even

[ProfessionalLurker]

My signifcant other and I used to be best friends for years, before getting engaged. I never felt nervous or conscious around him, despite finding him attractive, interesting and nice. In fact, we were best friends only because he friend-zoned me, at the time... ! And neither the feeling of being friend-zoned made me nervous or anything. I think that's because I am used to interact with men, at various levels of intimacy, and I exactly know how to behave in every possible "sentimental" situation involving a man. I have (and have had) male friends, male friends-with-benefits and male partners during all my life, therefore I am perfectly at ease with men. In fact, I am more likely to befriend men than women. The vast majority of my friends are male: some of them actually say that I am "better" than their girlfriends, because I "understand the male point of view" about things. (I am the ideal girlfriend, of course. Yet, none of them tries to hit on me, !)
And maybe that's why I am not able to interact with women. Maybe I don't understand the female point of view. That's strange, because I understand my own point of view, and I am a female. Anyway, my rare female friends are not "regular" girls, in the sense that they behave differently than the perceived "norm" for a woman. They are the few women I feel at ease with: the "particular" ones. And they are surely a minority! Girls usually come to think that I don't like them. (And this is true, for the most part of them)
And when it comes to dating girls... I don't know anything about it. My male friends sometimes gave me advice, but I think those things work only with heterosexual girls. Sooo... whenever I tried, I failed!
My partner says that I have to befriend more women, trying to understand how they think, how they manage problems... and maybe one day I'll be able to successfully date them. Mhh. Maybe. What do you think about it?

[Iris Awakened]

I have felt that way before too. When I first accepted that I was bi, like 8 years ago, it was so difficult to approach women! I mean, how could you know that they would even be into girls, and then into you? It didn't help that I had been serial-dating guys since 15 and never cared much for female friends. I completely agree with you, I relate much easier to men.

Only recently have I found my groove with flirting with women. I was at a dance (of the ballroom variety) and who was there but my crush from afar from the natural health foods store, who I had been crushing on for 2 years almost! What did I do, I walked up to her without thinking or caring (I was with my husband too!) and introduced myself, asked her a few questions and started dancing with my husband. After every dance I would seek her out and chat with her. By the end of the dance we were dancing together, foolishly, and she was coming up to me to talk. She ended up asking me for my contact info!

I only realized afterward that I had finally crossed over my female bridge, finally figured out how to be natural and normal. I never once asked if she were into girls, I never said anything to make her think that I was. I asked her about her top, touched her arm when we were joking and made eye contact. She could have stopped talking to me politely, but she didn't.

As for the resolution? There isn't one yet. We see each other on FB, flirt here and there, but really I don't think that I am ready for a gf outside of my marriage, even if she is totally tantalizing. Breathtaking eyes. Such a beauty. But who is to say what it would amount to? I guess I just don't want to start something that might turn major, without being prepared for it first.

[rendi]

I've always felt more comfortable and laid back around guys regardless of whether I was attracted to them or liked them olny as a friend. Get me around a woman that I like and I start stumbling over my words, get nervous, my voice gets weak and cracks and I become terrified that she may sense my attraction. I'm a mess around women and I hate it.