"When we were just boyfriend and girlfriend we were at my parents house late one night getting it on. We were so in lust we couldnt keep our hands off each other. My parents had only gone to bed a few minutes earlier.

We were completley engrossed in the throws of passion when we heard footsteps coming down the stairs. (The bathroom was on the ground floor). We both panicked, it was our first time, we didnt know what to do or where to run. OMG all I could think was it was my dad and he would KILL my boyfriend if he found us like that.

I ran to the bathroom trying to put my jeans on as I ran, leaving my boyfriend behind. i got to the bathroom and shut the door realising as I did that I had trapped one leg of my jeans under the door. Someone tried the door, I stopped them turning the knob, I was in a blind panick. Its dad and he is gonna go mental. The tug of war on the door went on for a few seconds but felt like minutes.

Suddenly my mum whispered "open the door you stupid *****". I did and she quickly bundled me inside with my jeans and told me dad was on his way down. I owed my mum big time that night tho dad still threw my boyfriend out. Think he knew. Needless to say I was frogmarched to the doctors 1st thing next morning by my mum to go on the pill!

Memories Ahhhhhh"

---

"I gotta think about this one. The place where I lost my virginity burned down, so I'm like a reconstituted virgin. Y'know like adding water to orange juice!

Okay, I think I have a funny one.

I was hanging out with this guy named Dave. He was like a tough punk guy. Lotsa tattoos, bad attitude, gruff voice, tattered clothes, y'know. Anyway, lotsa guys I knew were scared of this guy, but somehow I'd managed to get him to let his guard down with me. Anyway, we used to drink and fuck a lot. Well there was one night when he came to my house, and I guess I'd been using a marker or something and it somehow ended up in my bed, because the next mornign we woke up sober with marker all over us. Dave was worse off; he had marker on his ass. I really don't remember too many details b/c we were trashed.

Now that I'm reading this, I think this is kinda a lame story. I don't know, I have more weird encounters than anything. Like the first time I spent the night with my first serious bf, he woke up the next day and put on his dad's "Frank n Furter" costume and jumped on the bed while I laid there naked. He was so entertaining."

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"It was summer and I was in the first weeks of a relationship, ya know when you shag every chance you get. My bf's mom had gone to work and we were bonking on this old couch. When we were done my knees were bleeding from rubbing on the couch frame. The worst part was that the wounds scarred so all summer I had to make-up stories about how I got two identical wounds on the outside of my knees. Not to mention the look on my bf's mom's face when she saw them, she knew exactly what they were from, apparently she had some scars from that couch herself !

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"I am pretty sure this is more emabarassing then funny but, when I first hooked up with my ex I about died when I embarrassed myself.

I have a really big bed thats very high up off the ground, when I went to lay on my back to face our butts together. I went right off the end of the bed and landed on my head then kind of folded in two. LOL. It hurt like shit but not as much as my pride. She pretented it wasnt funny but it had to have been.

Another time,

I was hooking up with this super hot guy named L and it was right when we where getting to know eachother so to try and be sexy I put on these clear 6 inch stripper heels that I had and was all doing this dance for him and I went right over just completly lost my balance went sideways with the loudest thud ever. I got up and ran to the bathroom as fast I could. He tried to see if I was ok but all I could do is yell go away it took me hours before I could look him in the face."

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"I've had a few but my latest if possibly the worst... my husband is a united states army recruiter and they are provided laptops STRICTLY for us army use... well.. we had taken some rather risque pics on the digi cam, and well risque doesnt quite express the magnitude of these pictures.... anyway, there were crotch shots, toy shots, breast shots, you see where im going with this, and one of my providing him ahem "services" clear shot of my face. i thought you know its close to valentines day, ive got aol with all the cute little pic borders im going to email all of these to him with heart borders titled "open alone". so i sent them, and his email takes a while to receive and he never said anything so i forgot about it.. finally it hits me and i giggled and snuggled up to him and said "baby, did you get any email at work?" he jumps up and screams "THAT WAS YOU? THAT WAS YOU?" they got new laptops at work and one of his commanding officers was in charge of transferring his old to the new, and as he was doing this my vagina pops up on the screen, then my face with a mouth full of penis, and my breasts. my husband wasnt standing there watching but everyone else was. they saw everything i have to offer =). yeah he got into quite a bit of trouble, told them that an ex recruiter (male) must have sent them to him, i could imagine what they were thinking then... so yes im mortified and at certain times have to have dinner parties and banquets with these people who have seen my holiest of holies!!!"

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"Oh wait, there's was one time I was rolling in the grass with this guy I knew back in Little Rock. Anyway, it was Halloween, and one would think that all the poisonous plants would have been dormant by that time! WRONG!

The next I wake up with the biggest patch of poison oak, (or was it poison ivy?), on my back and ass! Well, if this couldn't get worse, I was still living with my parents at the time, and I needed help covering my back with calamine lotion. So I had to ask my mom! I remember her asking me how I got poison oak all over my back. I can't remember what I told her. And I have no idea if she bought it, but one thing I'm pretty sure of is that she put that memory back with the rest of the things she denies."

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"Ok, I had not been dating my b/f later to be hubby long when we were in my bedroom getting it on. I had asked my mum to give us a shout when some programme was about to start on TV. Getting totally into what we were doing, we completley lost the time

Next thing we know there is a knock on the bedroom door, it opened immediatley and there stands my mum. She starts telling me that the tv prog is about to start. God knows what must have gone thru her head to be greeted by my b/f's bare ass hanging off the end of the bed with his head stuck between my legs. It felt like an eternity............ I was like MUM WHAT U DOIN? She just stood there in complete shock!!

Needless to say we didnt go downstairs to watch the TV and my b/f couldnt face her for days

Must ask her one day if she remembers - sure its imprinted in her memory somewhere !".

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"Ok I was 17 and I used to meet up with this guy every weekend night for sex, we both lived with parents, didnt have cars or anything or anywhere to go. We used to make out in the local park, he would mostly do the gentlemanly thing and put down his jacket for me to lay on. One evening we met up as usual but as it was warm he didnt have a jacket on. I had my brand new favourite WHITE linen jacket on and before i knew it we were lay on the grass doing what comes naturally. Particularly vigourous that night as I remember. Fast forward to me getting home, now I had been drinking and was used to trying to walk in a straight line past my mum and dad.

As I said hi to mum and made for the stairs she grabbed my arm and said "what the hell have you been doing" I didnt know what she meant but she said "look at your back" I took my jacket off to find grass and mud stains all over my perfect jacket. I went very red (couldnt help it) and just said i dunno where thats come from then put the jacket back on, as i did i felt something wriggling on the neck of my t shirt. Shriek, I panicked big time (I hate creepy crawlies) and screamed for my mum to help, she pulled my jacket down to reveal a 4 inch earthworm hanging from my t shirt. OMG she calmly took hold of it and put it back out in the garden. As she passed me from that she gave me such a look and shook her head without a word.

My Jacket was ruined!! Why does it always seem to happen to me "

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"Before my husband and I were married we stayed at his house most of the time. He lived with his father in a house than can be best described as a frat house for men with paychecks and taste! The great room is huge with eight foot windows all around. His father was out of town and not expected back before the following day, we had brunch planned for the family, sisters, neices, grandfather.

After all the sex and wine, we staggered down stairs and left everything on the floor, fully prepared to clean before company. The next afternoon, we overslept a little, we went up stairs to find everything in order, our clothes stacked neatly on the table. As bruch went on, there we a couple of jokes made about us enjoying some quality time together, but fairly tame given the company. Then the sun started to set, and came through those big beautiful windows that were across from the dining table to reveal my hand prints streaking down with his right beside them. On the next set on panes, I can only assume it was my ass smudge with his hand print which looked to be above where my shoulders probably were!

I was mortified! The entire family was looking at proof of my quality time!"