...And How Did He Take it When Some of Us Did ?
"My husband and I had a discussion about this whole deal when I finally decided to tell him I wanted to be with a woman for real. I don't like the things I got back from him. He at first said (when I told him that I met a bi girl) that he would have a threesome. But then he said, "nooooo you'd freak out and couldn't handle me with another girl." WHICH IS TRUE! LOL Then he said, "ya know what? I don't care if you're with a girl. As long as you tell me where you are, who it is, etc." So I was like, "Ok but you aren't planning on using this against me or doing the same right?" He was like, "Come on...you know me. I'm not like that I would never do that." So I felt super guilty, but sort of like I had permission.
I dropped it at that point because I could tell her was getting irritated. So a couple days later he brings it up again and tells me that he feels differently. He says "if you actually opened yourself up to someone else, man or woman, like you do with me, it would break my heart." Sighhhhh it made me sad, but I told him "Ok well then I will just forget about it because I love you."Well hello!! How long can you deny yourself that? I feel that it's not really cheating like it is with a man, but I still feel bad because I know he would be so sad if he found out. AND I have realized after becoming involved with a woman that it is not only physical, like I thought it would be.
I actually starting having loving feelings for her, which TOTALLY caught me offguard. Unfortunately the relationship fizzled out because her husband is an ass. lol He is totally the ruler of the house and she is a prisoner...so sad. Anyway, that's my story!"
"I could never cheat on my fiancee. Even though i am sexually attracted to men and women, i have to live with the realisation that i may never get to act on it. To me cheating isn't just with a man, it is either a physical or emotional act with either man or woman. Personally i would never do that to my fiancee, because i love him far too much to want to hurt him, or even risk hurting him. If i lost him my world would end. Thats just me though, you have to make up your own mind. But be prepared that whatever you chose will have concequences"
"I think my husband would be more hurt if he found out that I'd been physical with another woman than if I'd been with another man. He is one of those not remotely interested in threesomes or seeing me with a woman. I think it turns him on a little as part of a porno flick to see two women, but he's very homophobic, so woman-woman in reality is not something he's into. So for him I think it would be a bigger betrayal for me to be with a woman."
"My hubby has given me the go ahead, if I meet another woman. I am not sure how I will handle it. I can only get so involved, you know? I am worried about developing an emotional attachment, screwing up my marriage..... Its been so long since I had a fling( for lack of a better word). So we will see, I am just thankful I now have some place to talk about it"
First off, You and Your Spouse Really NEED to talk...
"Sounds like your friend isn't the only prisoner here.
My partner wasn't too thrilled when I told him I really wanted to be with women. As far as he was concerned, another person is another person regardless of sex or gender. I agreed and dropped it. Months later he brought it up. He admitted to me that he thinks about men sometimes,a nd he thought that maybe it would be good for us if we explored this together. It has brought so much closer. And now that we have this sort of freedom, it's not so urgent! Go figure.
Anyway, I understand, as many women on here do, your place. But for you own peace of mind, you should really continue to discuss this subject. Give him time; find out what his objections are. If he tells you it would break his heart, probe him about it. Don't settle for a stock answer. So many men don't know how to deal with bisexual women because it threatens their masculinity; he may feel inadequate. Make sure he understands that is not the case. Unless it is the case, and then I'll have to think a little more on this!
Good luck to ya!"
"I could never go behind my husbands back if a chance to be with another female came about. He would have to know all about it or be involved. Whether it's man or woman, I consider it cheating if the other half doesn't know. I'm so glad that my husband understands my feelings towards women, alot of times he encourages me. Just like the other night, we went to a strip club to check out the ladies together. It turns him on to see me with another girl & it does the same for me to see him in action. "
"I think it would be cheating whether or not it was a male or female and whether or not it was for sexual pleasure or involed intimate feelings Don't know what I'd do. My husband would want to be involved. We've discussed swing before. Too bad your husband can't open up. Some people- not saying it's right or wrong- can seperate sex and love. The question is does one lose the special bond of marriage if sex is not reserved but for each other. I think marraige should be emotional and spiritual not just based on the physical. Overly simiplified- I can enjoy a body massage from another with out breaking the bond, so why do some specific body parts matter?"
"Well if it was all physical for me that wouldn't be a problem. I am actually looking for more than that with a girl.I want the whole thing....intimate physical and emotional relationship. I'm sure it's going to get me in trouble in the long run, but I just need to see if this is what I'm missing in my life. I just met an awesome girl online and she is so sweet and sexy and honest and at the same time a little mysterious....very appealing, that's all I know. I hope that she is what I'm looking for, I know she is looking for the same as I am."